A/N: (PLEASE READ!) Okay, so basically, this is an ultra AU story, Nothing goes as in manga/anime. Meaning, this is a contemporan story. Also, the whole Akatsuki thing will be "adapted". I decided to make the Akatsuki the good guys. Whatever. The most important thing is how friendships are here...Sasuke knows all the Akatsuki members, and in further chapters, you'll see how Sasuke's best friend is Sasori. Aaaand, a little add-o: all of the characters have japanese roots. But only Sasori and Gaara are 100% japanese. The others don't even know the language, except Sasuke, and later Itachi. The story is pretty hard to comprehend at first, but after the 2nd chapter, I'm sure most of your questions will be answered:) Ok..On with the story!

(Sasuke POV)

"Wake up, Sasuke!" someone shouted. Right now, I would kill that someone, but I don't want get out of the bed. "We don't have all day, hurry up!"

"FINE!" –I prefer doing what HE says, because he tends to get violent if I ignore him (for too long).


"Breakfast is served, Milady."

"Itachi, that in NOT a good reason for waking me up from my sweet dreams, and stop calling me a lady! I'm male, for fuck's sake!", I answered, making my way to the bathroom, and trying to act bold in front of my oh-so-dear brother.

"I don't care if it's not a good enough reason for you", he shouted from the kitchen, visibly annoyed. Oops, I did it again. I just hope I'm going to survive today. "besides, the fact you're male is pretty damn questionable, for you scream and panic like a girl when you're afraid."

"I've got reasons for being afraid, you idiot!" Okay, I admit it, I'm always overreacting, but I'll never say it in front of him-

"Spiders and ants being your reason?"

"Shut UP."

After our quarrel/ bickering morning session, I actually showered, getting out of the bathroom with just a towel around my waist, and grabbed one of the "bacon bits" my brother had made. So, I should do some introducing, I guess. My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I'm 17. I've got one stupid and GAY brother. He's a total weirdo. Guess he's always been like that. He's 3 years older than me, which makes him 20. I should describe my looks, but I realize I can only say "just like my brother" at the end of most of my characteristics. So, I have black hair, just like my brother (except I keep my hair short and spiky and Itachi has it long- very long. This remembers me of our childhood, when I loved to brush and smell it- and, yes, he had long hair since he was 10). Also, I have black eyes, just like my brother. Also, I have pale skin tone, just like my brother. I should probably tell the differences, since those are less to count: I already said the hair; I could also mention that he is a good 5 inches taller than me, and seems to be a bit more muscular.
What else? He loves everything sweet, while I hate anything sweet. He loves to tease me with any occasion he gets, thus getting on my nerves.
Our parents died when I was 12, so Itachi was 15, and we somehow managed to get our uncle not too much involved in our lives. To cut it short, Itachi chose as our legal guardian the uncle that cared least. And I absolutely still adore him for that. Unlike most brothers, I didn't hate him. Not at all. If anything, he is the one treating me more like a piece of furniture. To me, Itachi is more than my brother- he's also my father, my mother, my friend, my confident, my alive "dear diary" and so on. I do realize I love Itachi more than a brother should. And I mean that in the sickest way possible. But, just as always, this shit is one-sided (not that I actually told him, Hell no!), and I don't want to lose my brother just for a crazy fantasy of mine. Skipping over this part, we are perfect brothers most of the time.
Most of the time meaning when Itachi's not drunk, or when Itachi doesn't bring all of his fuck buddies at home, or when I don't stare at him when he gets out of the shower, or when we begin shouting and throwing chairs at each other…Yeah, except these times, we are perfect brothers.

"Nice meal, Itachi. By the way, is it late? You already seem exhausted."

"I don't know, does 11 o'clock sound late to you? And of course I'm exhausted, since 5 o'clock I've been trying to do 10 things at once, meaning: I was listening to Kakuzu complaining for the 100th time on his lack of money, while I was cooking your breakfast, while my own stomach was growling, while Hidan turned up to pay me a visit, just to brag about all the good fucks he had this week, and telling me I should get laid soon, 'cause I'm getting grumpy and stuff. Other than that, I had a great morning. What about you?"

"I think I've never heard you talk that much in 10 years! Maybe Hidan was right, you need to get laid" I suggested, trying to sound relaxed, but now, really, I've never seen him talk like that, and gesticulate that much. He is certainly stressed out, and I presume that if I continue with my smart-ass lines, he's gonna beat the shit outta me. So, better keep quiet.

"That ain't gonna help, foolish little brother, 'cause that's not the problem. I'm not like Hidan, meaning I don't feel the urge to fuck anything alive, be it male or female every 2 hours. The thing is that I'm doing too many things at once. And you don't seem too eager to help me on anything!"

I must admit, he really is overworking himself. If I give it a second thought, he has huge dark lines under his eyes, and he's also a lot slimmer than other times. And he always tells me I should help him, but never actually asks me to when the time comes. Strange person he is.

"You never ask me to! And, what happened anyway, you've always been busy, but you never complained! You never share with me, while I share everything! Talk to me!"

"You can't help, so why burden you with my problems? I'm sorry, baby brother, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

Fuck. In the end, that's why Itachi IS Itachi. Always doing everything by himself, fearing not to burden me with anything. I hate it when he doesn't open up to me!

"Fine, then, I promised my friends Sasori and Deidara to meet them in the park as soon as I get up, I hope I won't see them making out while waiting for me."

"Sasori and Deidara? Ah, you mean the German that blows shit up and the Japanese fucktard? Which remembers me you don't have a problem with them being gay, but you do have a problem with me being one. How come?"

Okay, I really can't say "Itachi, I don't have a problem with you being gay, I am one myself, forgot to tell you that, I have a problem with coming home and seeing you on top of some creep on MY bed, just because it's bigger than yours. Oh, by the way, I wish I was the one under you. What do you think about that?" So, I had to make some stupid excuse…

"Stop calling my friends that, and I don't give a shit about them being together as long as they don't do anything in front of me. Which is not your case, Itachi."

"You sound jealous."

"I'm not. I just hate the fact of some creepy no one on my bed!"

"But you don't have a problem with ME sitting on your bed…"

"Of course not, you're my brother!"

"Oh, I forgot that…"

"How can you forget something like that? Hell, I'm a smaller version of you!"

"Just kidding, Sasuke. Now calm down. You always react so strange."

"Fuck you!"

I ran into my room to get dressed, still thinking of my brother. Who's driving me crazy, officially. I got a pair of jeans, a simple white T-shirt and my usual skaters, then got back to the kitchen, in order to leave (see, when you come to my house, you enter the kitchen, Itachi's idea, so in order to tell people he isn't in mood for talking to that he's busy cleaning/ cooking/ eating), when I heard Itachi talking on the phone.