I sat in candlelight, brushing my hair in the mirror and staring at my reflection with deep and heavy eyes. Everything was going according to plan. It hadn't been an easy process, certainly not as simple as I had first assumed. Isabel was stubborn and difficult to break but I pursued her with an avid relentlessness, tearing away her resistance layer by layer. At first I had been amused by her prickly dismission, vowing that it would be all the sweeter when I finally cracked her resolve. The more she resisted me the more I wanted her and I found that my plot to shame Lobo was morphing into my plan to seduce Isabel. My reasoning was being blurred by my desire for her and I found that more and more she was becoming a part of my everyday life. I had started to think of her in daydreams that were filled with soft kisses and naked caresses. I was starting to want her and the feeling left me with a heavy heart and a doubtful head. Was everything unraveling?
The door creaked open and in the reflection of the mirror I watched her take a timid step into the room. The sight of her filled me with bravado. She had come here after all. I rose to my feet feeling more confident than I had every felt before. She turned to face the door, a mumbled apology crossing her lips. "I never thanked you for earlier" She said still facing the bedroom door. I wondered if she was respecting my privacy or saving herself from an audience to her blushes. I felt a tug of something in my chest. A palpable tension hung in the air, a feeling that something was happening, something beyond either of our control.
"You're welcome," I told her, my voice sounding alien to my ears, rich and thick with emotion. My heart began to thump in my chest and with trepidation I asked "Are you sure you don't want anything else?" The question posed so many possibilities and I realised that I was almost apprehensive about the outcome. I didn't want to hear her response and yet I could not tear my eyes away from her intriguing frame.
She locked the door and the sound of it resonated through the room as loud as anything. Finally she turned to me her eyes glistening in the candlelight. She was fearful and yet I could see the first stirrings of something else. She wasn't here for apologies or denials. She was here because she was ready to allow herself to want me, to allow herself to have me.
I moved towards her, shrugging off my gown until it rested at my hips. In the dim light Isabel took in the sight of my naked body with a look of pure amazement. In all my life I had never been looked at with such a hungry appreciation and such a wonderful gratitude. I took her hand in my own and brought it to my face, feeling her soft fingertips responding to my touch. My head arched backwards as I entwined our hands to trace the curve of my neck. My eyes fluttered closed as her touch ignited a path of pleasure. When my eyes opened Isabel was looking at me with curious eyes that were filled with wanting. She grew braver and brought her hands to my naked waist, her soft skin so warm and gentle that I felt myself cover from head to toe in goose bumps. The excitement built in us as our mouths inched closer and closer until I could feel the warmth of her breath. Her hands caressed my body and I kissed her, brushing my lips against hers with a gentle tenderness. We kissed again and again, my mouth never tiring of her sweet lips. I slipped her hand into mine and we sat down together on the bed. She looked so heart wrenchingly beautiful. So beautiful that I felt in that moment I could have wept. She was so lovely and so refreshingly nervous. She was innocent in her desire for me, which was untainted by any selfish need, just a pure want for me that had never existed in this room or this heart before. I undressed her, marveling at her soft curves that reminded me of how different she was, reminded me that I had never before felt the touch of a woman. This was new for both of us and the thought made me feel weak with desire. "You're beautiful," I whispered, watching as her eyes slipped away self-consciously. It was an act that made me smile with disbelief. How could she not see how wonderful she was? I kissed her with a growing intensity, slipping my hands into her long hair as her hands made a path to my waist. It felt so natural, so simple, to kiss her, to taste the smoothness of her skin and hear her gentle cries of passion. In this room, as our naked bodies pressed together without an inch to spare, our mouths tight in their embrace and our fingertips straining for the feel of skin, I could think of nothing but her. I could want for nothing but the moment we were experiencing now. We were safe in our self-constructed cocoon, taking our time with each other and savoring every moment.
We lay together under the sheets, Isabel's delicate and peaceful face nestled against my bare chest. I could still feel her all over me, could still taste her kisses on my lips. We were wrapped up in contentment but in the back of my mind I could feel sour thoughts fighting there way through, desperate to pierce our bubble of happiness. I didn't want to hear them. I wanted to forget everything else and focus on this moment. She made it so easy to forget. In her eyes I wasn't a whore, wasn't worthless or a liar or a fraud. In her eyes I was beautiful and in this moment I could have choked on the thought. What was happening to me?
"Your heart is still beating!" She exclaimed with delight. She smiled at me, her eyes alive and fascinating. Those beautiful eyes were so inviting I could have drowned in them. I smiled down at her with a warm smile that made my cheeks ache.
"For you" I whispered, my voice thick and spoken from the back of my throat. It was our private moment and we smiled together like lovers recounting their first steps together. In this moment the idea of Isabel and I as lovers didn't seem like such an unrealistic picture but inside I worried that the truth would derail it all.