Title: Cuddle Monster
Disclaimer: These characters are not my creative property
Summary: Emma has low self-esteem
Emma knew it was a fucked up thing to do: sleep with Regina. She made these stupid kinds of mistakes over and over. Chalk it up to a damaged psyche from having no stable home as a developing adolescent. Emma knew girls from similar circumstances who had turned out much worse: sex for money, sex for drugs. She tried to justify her bad behavior, but in the end the reasoning just didn't hold up. Truth is she liked sex with Regina… a lot. She was addicted to the low rough sound of her voice and the silky planes and dips of her body, and the sound of her name when ripped from Regina's lips. She craved the unstoppable force of her touch constantly.
Emma shook her head; perhaps she should go see Dr. Hopper for a thorough psychoanalysis. Why couldn't she just be with someone who was good for her? First, she had gotten involved with Henry's father and now she was involved with Henry's mother. Wrong, so very wrong. The thing most troubling thing to Emma was how Regina behaved after sex. Sure it was no big thing for Regina, an extremely perverted individual in Emma's opinion, to get creative with toys, positions, lotions, potions, food- whatever seemed to amuse her at the time. Emma probably would let Regina shove a fire poker up her ass if she promised it would feel good.
Regina had already almost gotten them caught multiple times, but not in the act itself- it was what she insisted on doing after. She had a propensity for doing it all over town, and when they had both cum until they were spent, Regina insisted on cuddling. It was the worst. She wanted to cuddle in the Sherriff's office, Mayor's office, Regina's bedroom, study, hallway, in the woods off of Access road 23, and even Emma's tiny bed at Mary Margaret's.
Once Kathryn had busted into the Mayor's office catching Emma with her head resting on Regina's lap while she stroked and smoothed her long blonde hair. Emma had popped up too quickly, while Regina, of course, looked relaxed and amused. Emma couldn't bear the questioning look on Kathryn's face so she made up some nonsense about feeling dizzy and Regina was trying to help her regain her balance. Kathryn chuckled and replied that you're supposed to put your head between your own knees to relieve dizziness.
Cuddling was uncomfortable for Emma, she didn't like to be held and fawned over the way Regina relished her. She would wrap her arms around Emma and she would sort of rub her face against her and whisper really nice things. Things that certainly weren't true –couldn't be true- regarding her looks, the way she fucked, her investigative talents. It was too nice, and way too intimate. Emma felt like she was drowning when Regina touched her like this, like she couldn't breathe. If she truly looked deep inside, mostly she felt like she wasn't good enough for it. When she'd pulled out of Regina's touch to throw on her clothes and try to make a getaway, Regina would feel hurt and inevitably start a fight. Fighting usually led to fucking which led to cuddling, and then the whole damned cycle would start over. So Emma endured.
Who would have ever thought that Regina would want to snuggle after sex? She should have made such facts known before seducing Emma beyond the point of no return. Hi, I'm Regina Mills: Mayor of Storybrooke and notorious Cuddle Monster. It should be stated clearly on her business card lest someone else make the same mistake.
So yet another fight of Emma arguing that Regina didn't appreciate her, and that she was just another toy for her to use and toss aside. Emma hated that Regina just looked at her bemused, as hot angry tears streamed down Emma's cheeks. Regina agreed she could be cruel when the mood struck, but she wanted Emma to admit that she, as of late, had been mostly sweet. Emma bowed her head, it was true, Regina had been nothing but lovely and generous and appreciative, but to Emma it felt like mocking.
Regina stretched out on her sofa, and opened her arms beckoning her into them. Emma didn't want it, or more accurately she didn't want to want it. She sighed in hesitation before glancing at Regina who all but was patting her knee in invitation. Emma felt the pangs of irrational guilt bubble up in her throat, but swallowed it down and lay back against Regina's body. Regina exhaled as she felt Emma slowly relax in trust, and voiced with unrelenting determination that she wasn't ever going to give up on her.