This is how I imagined the funeral of Chief Inspector Morse went.
As it was expressed in Morse's will that there was to be no religious service of any kind, the newly promoted Inspector Robbie Lewis (because of the untimely death of Morse) had difficulty deciding how to organise Morse's funeral.
In the end he managed to persuade the church to allow Morse to be buried in the graveyard without having a Service and that there should be no Priest present. Lewis had sent out a notice stating that Morse would just be buried with some of his close friends and colleagues saying goodbye with Wagner playing in the background in the graveyard.
There were about 50 people present, mostly from Thames Valley Police headquarters where Morse had spent most of his working life. There were a few friends that Lewis recognised and some he didn't, along with Lewis' wife and kids who got to know Morse quite well.
The Church clock striked twice, signalling it was time for the "non service" to begin. Lewis cleared his throat as he stood before the collection of people.
"Welcome everyone…" he became, when everyone heard the familiar Geordie accent they all turned round to face him and started to listen.
"…to this sad day…where we say goodbye to the best Detective Oxford has ever had…." Lewis croaked…..he had no idea how he was going to make his way through this without cracking up and crying.
"….when I sat down to write this eulogy I had no idea how to begin or what to say, because Morse, as I am sure a lot of you know, was a very difficult man to get along with, or to understand. He was a immensely private person who had a gruff, arrogant selfish side to him that made him the great Detective that he was, but there was another side to him that only a few of us got to see.
I am one of those people. Having worked with Morse for 15 years, there were times when he would let his guard down and let you in on some insight into his life away from the Police force. He was actually a very caring man indeed. He sometimes cared too much. This may shock some of you who had worked with him, but he was actually a very sensitive man.
He was the complete opposite to me, but we worked well as a team. Of course he would constantly be correcting my English, joking about my Northernisms and tut at me for just about anything!" Lewis let out a laugh as some of the others laughed too.
"…..but we had an understanding, a mutual respect, a bond that could not be broken, no matter what was thrown at us. If I can become half a bloody brilliant Inspector that he was….then all those years of putting up with being his "bagman" was well worth it….."
"The thing I will take away from knowing Morse is a new found love of Wagner, beer and women….only joking…..sorry love! Lewis laughed as he turned to face his wife.
"….actually after 15 years of being Morse's right hand man, I actually ended up with a friend….someone I cared about….." Lewis voice cracked a little. "…..a father figure even" Lewis choked back the tears.
"Finally I just want to say that I was one of the privileged people who got to know the MAIN mystery that was Chief Inspector Morse…his Christian name! And no….for those of you who still don't know…I am not about to divulge it here for I am sure Morse would haunt his disapprovement at me for the rest of my life!" Lewis joked.
"Thanks for all coming today and just to say that we will be rounding up the day in good old Morse style at his favourite pub…with the classics and beer!"
With that Lewis got a round of applause as Morse's body is lowered in to the ground.