Set: Mid season 4
Authors note: Ok so you can blame LittleLizzieZentara for this. She told me she had an idea for a one shot story that she really wanted to get posted before this weeks ep. Its the ep here Spolier alert... Castle hears Beckett admit she remembered everything from when she got shot. I informed Lizzie that I had a story idea that would explain why Beckett kept it a secret. I was going to wait and write it after I finished Aint No Mountain High Enough (another one of my stories, if you haven't read it yet, go check it out. . No I have no shame promoting my own story ) However I thought it might not make sense if I posted it after we all knew the truth, or my ideas were going to be the same as AM. So I thought well if Lizzie is going to try and get her story up I might as well try to. The result is this story. I never intended it to be this long. I actually thought it was going to be a one shot, a medium length one shot. It turned out being so much bigger than I had intended. I started writing this at 11:30 am Friday and have now finished it 12:30 am Monday. With 8 hours work, 5 hours shopping and 5 hours at my parents house getting in the way. Whoa I cant believe I even did it.
So my thoughts and reasons may seem a little different to what you would expect but its something I have always felt and finally decided to share it with all of you, I hope you enjoy.
Oh and go and check out Lizizes story to. Its called Kate's Apology. .net/s/7954954/1/
I'll be checking it out after I load this up for you guys.
Castle looked from the map in his hands to the road in front of him. Well road was a relative term, they had left the sealed road about 20 minutes ago, this was a dirt track. The GPS had only taken them so far, a map from a diner they had stopped at was leading them this final distance. He turned to look at the woman sitting beside him, she didn't look happy. As the journey took them into their third hour her face looked more and more tense. Oh this was not a good idea, being stuck in a car with Beckett when she was angry. If she started shooting he had nothing to hide behind except his wits and he even doubted them.
"Its not that much further, see." He leaned over and showed her where they were on the map. The window he had open, much to Beckett's dismay let in a gust of wind causing the map to slip from his fingers.
"Castle," Beckett screamed as the map blocked her vision.
She took a hand, off the steering wheel to swat the map away, but it seemed to have a mind of its own thanks to the wind. Castle leaned over and practically bear hugged the map in order to capture it. He quickly pulled it out of her way, only to get thrown against Beckett's side as she swerved to miss a tree that loomed up in front of their car.
"Castle," she yelled again. "There is only one road leading to the cabin now and this is it. Put that map away before you get us killed.
Castle turned the map around and upside down before deciding there was no way he was going to be able to fold the map the way it had been. Scrunching it up, he quickly threw it in the back seat, they would deal with it later. Hopefully when she was calmer.
"Thank you and would you wind your window up its freezing out there."
Castle did what he was told and quickly wound it up.
"Why are you in such a bad mood?"
Beckett glared at him and he cursed himself for not thinking before he spoke. They were out in the middle of the woods, anything could happen to them. Hell anything could happen to him and Beckett could claim it was an accident. Accidents happened all the time in the woods, no one would think anything of it.
"Gee Castle, I don't know. Maybe because it took us three hours to get here. It's almost 5 o clock. I don't know about you but I have been up since 5. We still have to speak to the suspects brother and then drive home again. To top it off I think it's going to rain."
"At least your not alone"
Beckett shook her head. "Keep on bothering me and I will be."
Castle winced. Ouch.
Beckett slammed her hands against the streeing wheel.
"What would possess you, to get all excited about going on a trip out to the middle of nowhere in front of Gates. You know she still hasn't warmed up to you yet, and jumps at any excuse to get you out of the precinct. I could have sent Ryan and Esposito out here to speak to the victim's brother and we could have been safe and warm in the precinct. Instead here we are a million miles from nowhere with the heavens about to open up and a paper map hell bent on killing us."
Castle sighed, well at least he knew why she had seemed so angry. He didn't like driving in bad weather, especially when he didn't know where he was going. So he could understand her frustration. Even though Alexis was staying at a friend's house and his mother would be god knows where, being at home nice and cosy was much better than travelling to see the next of kin. Yet it had to be done. His friends had put up with lot of crap because of him and he wanted to return the favour, wether they knew it or not.
"I'm sorry Beckett it's just I had no plans tonight and I knew you didn't either."
"So we are here because you didn't want to get bored tonight." She took her eyes off the road briefly and rolled them at him.
Was it normal for him to like the fact that she did that, rolled her eyes. She rarely did that anymore and he missed it.
"No, not because I was bored. It was for Esposito, well Ryan too, but mainly Espo."
"You dragged us out in the middle of nowhere for them. That makes no sense."
Castle sighed. "Remember when I couldn't find my phone and I thought I left it down in the morgue."
"Well when I went down there Lanie was talking to someone. I didn't want to interrupt in case it was important so I hung back and listened."
"You eavesdropped" Beckett interrupted.
Castle threw his hands up. "Ok so I eavesdropped, but I think you will be interested in what I heard."
Beckett gripped the steering wheel and rolled her lips before deciding ok she did want to know.
"Fine spill" she barked when he didn't continue with his story.
"Lanie was talking to Esposito."
Beckett took her eyes off the road. "Talking or yelling?"
Castle smiled and turned to face her, bouncing on the seat like a little girl at a slumber party sharing secrets.
"Talking, they were actually talking civil to each other. I missed the first bit but they were going to get together tonight to talk about them. Actually sit down and discuss their relationship."
Beckett was surprised Lanie had been pretty closed mouth about the whole break up. All she had said was that it hadn't worked out and left it at that. Lanie didn't want things to be awkward for her, seeing how she had to work with Esposito too. Which had been fine for her, she didn't want to get stuck in the middle. Yet Lanie was her friend and she only wanted to see her happy, and Espo made her happy.
"Well why didn't Espo say anything when it came up that someone had to go and speak to the victims brother."
Castle shrugged. "I don't know, maybe he was getting cold feet. He doesn't know that I know he was meeting Lanie tonight.. I had to make a big entrance of walking in whistling so that Lanie and Esposito wouldn't know that I was coming." He laughed at the memory of his two friends springing apart like they were two teenagers getting caught kissing in the back of a car. "So anyway I knew he had his date or what ever it is with Lanie. I didn't want them to have to cancel, so I pretended to really want to go."
Beckett nodded. She really didn't want to go out in this weather but if she had known that Espo and Lanie were going to have a proper talk, she would have volunteered herself.
"Wait what about Ryan you said this was for Ryan too."
"Jenny has been working alot of hours lately, early mornings, late nights, anyone would think she was a cop. Anyway her boss is giving her the night off for working so hard and Ryan wanted to do something special for her tonight. I offered to get him a reservation at an exclusive restaurant but he assured me Jenny would much rather a home cooked meal. I figured by the time Ryan got home from this, Jenny would be having a date with the sandman."
Beckett suddenly felt guilty for being angry at Castle. He had only been trying to help out both their friends. It was a nice gesture really and he was right, she didn't have any plans for the night. In fact she was kind of hoping Castle would invite her around for a move night or even grabbing a bite to eat a Remys . At the rate they were going, dinner was likely to be a packet of MMs. Rounding a slight curve the cabin came into site. The victim a 26 year old woman who was murdered at the back of a club, had only one living relative, her brother. According to her roommate he lived out in as she had put it "the sticks" avoiding the world. The roommate had also said the last time the brother came to visit the siblings had a very loud argument. So this was a sorry your sister is dead but what were you arguing about, visit. Parking the car, Beckett stepped out and almost slipped on the mud on the ground. It hadn't rained today but apparently according to the locals where they had stoped, it had been raining all week. The rushing of water coming from behind the cabin backed that up. Treading carefully Beckett made her way to the cabin and held onto the railing as she climbed up the damp steps. She waited for her partner to join her before she knocked on the door.
"Mr Laird. This is the NYPD."
The pair stood there and listened for movement but there was none. Beckett knocked on the door again.
"Mr Laird we are here to talk to you about your sister could you please open up."
When silence hit them again Beckett tried the handle but it was locked.
"I am going to look by the stream," Castle told her. "Maybe he is out there fishing."
Beckett nodded and allowed him to go, they had no reason to believe this man was dangerous. Walking over to one of the windows on the front of the cabin she tried to peer in but couldn't see much through the curtain. Well curtain was a bit of an overstatement, it was more of a rag covering the glass. Follow the direction Castle had gone Beckett made her way around to the side of the cabin. She saw another small building ,too big for an outhouse.. Based on the wooden stump and shards of word on the ground near it she assumed it must be a wood shed. Spying a few more windows Beckett approached them and was glad when one seemed to be unobstructed. Peering in she noticed the cabin was very basic. There seemed to be a fire place, a table with one chair a medium size bed and an inch of dust covering everything. She knew most men were pigs and didn't clean up after themselves but this was more than that. It looked as though this place hadn't been used in months. Beckett groaned, they had been sent on a wild goose chase.
"Castle," she yelled out. The sooner they got out of here the better. The wind was picking up and the clouds looked like they were about to burst. There was also no phone reception up here so they couldn't call Ryan and Esposito to let them know what was going on.
"Castle, come on."
"I'm right here."
She turned and berated herself for not hearing the writer walk up.
"There is dust on everything. He's not here, hasn't been here for a while. Let's go before the storm hits."
She walked back around the cabin this time hearing him follow her. Giving the cabin one last glance she turned to walk down the steps and slipped. She cried out and reached for the railing, only catching herself at the very last second, before her butt hit the steps.
"Are you ok?"
His arms were under hers, picking her up before she even had a chance to respond. She rolled her shoulders and shook him off.
This time holding onto the railing with a vice like grip she descended the slippery stairs and made her way over to her car. As she opened the door a big fat drop of water laded on her nose. Crap.
"Castle, get in now."
"You want me to drive."
"No just get in" she yelled for the second time.
He got into the car and lowered his window a bit.
"What are you doing?" she had just slammed the car in reverse and was trying to figure out how to get out of there.
"Oh come on Beckett it's just a little bit of rain. I want to smell the fresh air a bit before we get back to the smog of the city."
Beckett shook her head, she didn't have time for this. Manoeuvring the car in a tight circle she finally had then facing the right way and heading down the road they had only just come up barely minutes before. Castle reached into the back and fished out the crushed map and tried to return it to it once pristine state. Once they hit main roads they could use the GPS again but he knew from past experiences GPS liked to take you all over the place. He liked to play it old school and look at a real map to see if he could find a quicker way back home. Following a road with his finger until it led to a fold in the map Castle attempted to unfold the map with one hand. His other stayed on the map so he would lose the road. He unfurled a large section of the paper when a gust of wind once again entered the car. Déjà vu hit Castle as the map was ripped from his hands but this time covered Beckett's face. She screamed at her lack of vision and took her hands from the steering wheel to remove the map only to reveal a wall of trees. She didn't have time to react before the car collided with the trees with a sickening thud. Becket felt her body fly forward before being pulled back by her seat belt. She lay there with her eyes closed trying to fathom what had just happened. When she heard a groan coming from beside her she opened her eyes and cast them to the man sitting next to her.
"Castle are you alive?" She hadn't been going that fast maybe 25 miles.
"Yes but I got a feeling I won't be for much longer, once you get your hands on me. I am really sorry Beckett."
"You shouldn't have had your window open."
"The map did the same thing not 20 minutes ago"
"Get out the car"
"I kno... What?"
Beckett undid her seat belt thankful she had been wearing it in the first place. She took another glance at the front of the car only to reaffirm what she already knew. The car was going nowhere tonight.
"Get out the car Castle."
"Why?" he asked a little confused. Was this like that sick game where you gave people a 5 second head start to run before they shot you?
"Because the storm is coming and we have to get out of here. The car is a mess and we can't stay here."
Castle was confused and honestly a little scared. "But don't they always say stay with the vehicle."
Beckett shrugged. "You want to stay and freeze to death that's fine; I am heading back to the cabin."
Pulling out her note pad she scrawled a quick note to whomever might find the car that they were heading to the cabin and left it on the seat. She then opened the door and stepped out into the fray.
"Shouldn't we try head back to civilisation" Castle had climbed out of the car and began to follow the detective into the storm. The wind was whipping around his open coat but he didn't have time to button it, Beckett was moving fast.
"The cabin is five minutes this way by foot, we will have a better chance of survival if we head there than try to make it to the main road. Only a crazy person would be out in this weather, we can't guarantee someone will drive past and help us."
Survival! It hadn't even occurred to Castle that they might not survive. The crash had caused a bit of damage to the car but they both seemed ok. He would probably feel the soreness in the morning. Trying to follow Beckett's footsteps he found himself slipping on the newly wet ground. It didn't take much rain for it to become sloppy and squishy. Beckett had been sticking to the side of the road which under normal circumstances was the right thing to do, if there were likely to be cars using the road. In this case it wasn't. The sides of the road seemed muddier than the middle which was probably due to the way the top of the road was almost curved. Castle watched as the light rain hit the road then trickled down either side. He imagined in a torrential downpour the sides of the roads would become mini rivers. He took a few steps towards the middle of the road and immediately found it easier to walk. He watched as Beckett walked along the slippery road way occasionally throwing her hands out to the sides as if she were walking a tight rope.
"Beckett walk over here, it's easier."
Beckett looked over her shoulder at him as she continued to walk.
"I am fine Castle lets just get to the cabin before it starts raining harder."
As she turned her head back her boot slipped on muddy surface, and Castle watched in horror as her arms went flailing back. Beckett landed on her back in what had to be the biggest muddiest puddle along the whole roadway.
"Oh god Beckett. Are you ok."
As nimbly as he could Castle made his way over to Beckett.
"I am fine Castle."
He watched as she rolled to her side then moved onto her hands and knees. She lifted her head up as she pushed off on her toes like a runner starting a race, except her foot slipped and she went sprawling face first into the mud. Her head rose out for the mud with an audible gasp. Castle tried not to laugh but she looked like a kid who had eaten a big bowl of chocolate ice cream. She tried to get to her feet but was failing miserably. Despite being covered in mud Castle approached Beckett and tried to pull her up from the mud.
"I don't need your help" she scowled him while being yanked up from behind in much the same way he had hauled her up from the stairs.
When she was finally on her feet she turned to look at him, his front now covered in mud.
"Why won't you listen? I said I didn't need help. I said shut the window."
She took a step forward and her foot slipped yet again causing her to careen in Castle. He lost his footing and with his arms wrapped around Beckett he fell to the ground landing on his back much like Beckett had done. He lay there in the mud. Rain dripping from the heavens on to his body, mud seeping into his skin from the ground and a very angry Beckett laying on top of him. She pushed off of him and then crawled along the ground like she was in an army obstacle. Castle followed her actions as she seemed to be succeeding in getting out of the mud. When she made it to the slightly drier surface of the middle of the road, she sat there looking down at herself. Castle joined her and began to run his hands down his arms trying to scrape away the thick mud.
"This is disgusting."
"It's just mud Castle" she said checking her father's watch to see if it had gotten damaged.
As he ran his hand down his body he pulled out a chunk and took a closer look at it before his eyes widened in horror and he threw the offending article away. He then began to sniff himself. Oh god it was worse than disgusting.
"Umm Beckett I think it's more than mud."
She stopped the perusal of her own body, Castles words sinking in. If this wasn't just mud then what was it. She realised his sniffing wasn't because it was cold it was because he was smelling himself. She copied him and it soon became obvious that he was sniffing the horrible smell that was coming off their bodies. Oh god how had she not smelt that before. It was horrible, it was disgusting, it was... Oh god what else was brown and smelled horrible. She didn't even want to think about it. Pushing herself off the ground this time finding steady feet she quickly made her way to the cabin. She had to get out of these muddy, wet, cold, rank clothes.
"Oh god this is gross" Castle bellowed from behind her.
"This is disgusting." He complained again.
Beckett wiped her mud covered arm over her mud covered face. Castle moaning and groaning was getting on her nerves. She was covered in it more than he was and she wasn't complaining, well ok she was but not out loud. It wasn't her fault he was covered in mud. She had told him she was fine he didn't have to help her but that was the way Castle was . Always wanting to help wether people wanted it or not.
"Oh it's in my hair."
Beckett stopped that was it, she had enough. She was covered in mud, it was raining, and she had this huge pain in her ass.
"Castle shut up."
"Hey I'm just"
Beckett spun around to look at him.
"No just shut up ok, I am sick of hearing you whinge. It's not my fault you are covered in mud. I told you I was fine, I didn't need help."
Castle couldn't believe she was getting so angry at him. "You couldn't even stand up, I was trying to help."
"I didn't need help Castle, I didn't ask for help Castle, I don't want help!"
Castle shook his head that was Katherine Beckett's one major fault. Help. She wanted to give it to the innocent but she never wanted to be the innocent. She never wanted to accept help from anyone regardless of the fact that she often needed it. This was not the time. This wasn't the place. Yet if not now, when.
"What kind of person doesn't accept help when it is offered freely?"
Beckett scoffed at him. He was taking a stab at her with his thinly concealed subtext. "What kind of person? Me. This kind of person. I don't accept help and you know what Castle, I am sick of justifying myself to you. If you don't like it, well you know where the door is, feel free to walk through it."
She was trying to get rid of him. Here out in the middle of the woods she was trying to get rid of him. When things got hard Katherine Beckett struck out against the world and expected the world to just back off and leave her alone. Well not this time
"That's what you would like isn't it Beckett. For me to just walk away like everyone else has in your life, when you got to difficult."
When you got difficult, not when things. Castle was insinuating that she had pushed people away.
"Well your wrong there Castle because I keep pushing you away yet you keep coming back for some reason. Why is that huh? Why do you keep coming back for more torture? What kind of person puts up with that?"
She watched as the man with the gift of the gab stood there silent. She had finally bested him. Darkness then descended upon her but it wasn't in the sky it was in his eyes. Maybe she had thought to soon.
"You want to know why I put up with your crap Kate. You want to know why I keep coming back for more. I'm stupid, I'm an idiot"
Beckett spun around she didn't need to hear him sprout off things she already knew.
"God dammit I love you."
So what do you think so far?
Becketts a little bit over angry but hey she needed to be for the next bit.
Review for more Casketty Goodness