Yay! New thingy! I wrote this a while ago. It's not that good. I really should stop writing angst. I'm not good at it. Eh, whatever. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I disclaim!


How?

How did this happen?

How could I ever have let this happen.

I... It was my fault.

If I'd just dragged him to the hospital the first time he'd coughed up that blood. If I hadn't let him talk me out of it with such sweet words and sweet caresses. Then maybe, just maybe…

"Really, Kaoru. I'm fine. Just fine." he said with that smile that made my heart race.

"Ok, Hikaru." I said tentatively, my resolve melted with just his words. How could I ever have let this happen?

No.

Hikaru, he would kill me if he knew I blamed myself. But who if not me? It was all my fault. I clenched my fist tighter, the thorns of the rose I held digging into my palm.

This wasn't fair. He didn't do anything to deserve this. It wasn't fair.

'Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.' I thought.

I dropped the single red rose into the casket and turned around, cool air whipping around me. My brother was gone and I could do nothing and it's my fault.

Mine.

Everyone, including the host club, had left the funeral long ago. I didn't blame them. God knows how long I'd been here anyway. I wiped the tears I had not noticed before away and stumbled towards my limo.

"...Go." I told the driver.

Those were the first words I'd said in a long time. Those were the last words I'd say in a very long time. I felt numb. I couldn't even think as I was driven home.

"We've arrived." the driver said.

I stepped out of the car and silently walked in, immediately heading to our room. I walked to the bathroom and took out the bottle of sleeping pills in the medicine cabinet before curling up on Hikaru's side of the bed.

I knew that I couldn't be without him. That I needed him. This wasn't fair.

I opened the bottle.

I couldn't deal with this. I was running away and I couldn't even care. I shook two pills into my hand swallowing them before looking at the bottle again. I squeezed my eyes shut and slowly, methodically took them all. Hikaru wouldn't have wanted this but I just... I couldn't.

I lay back and closed my eyes, letting my permanent sleep take me. My final thought:

'It's a pity we won't be buried together.'


How was it? Review please! ^_^