Spoilers ahead for 'The Born-Again Identity' and season six
Sam was right, the plan wasn't ideal, but it was the only way I knew Cass was being watched over. And Meg (blonde Meg) had been going to school to be a nurse before she was possessed. If the demon that possessed her had her memories, she could easily transfer them to the poor sap she was possessing now.
I didn't want to leave Cass behind, but we were in deep shit already, we couldn't add another problem to our ever growing list. And with Meg there to keep an eye on things, we'd at least get a phone call if something came gunning for him.
As we left the mental hospital in our wake, I started thinking about the past forty-eight hours. How did we go from Sam giving up to Cass mysteriously being alive to leaving the angel in a nuthouse under a demon's care?
And how exactly was the crazy gone from Sam? Wasn't 'Lucifer' attached to his soul? So, did Cass scrub his soul clean of 'Lucifer's' influence? Did he trade part of Sam's soul for his? Was Sam going to get angel powers? Or had Sam just been crazy the entire time and Cass took the crazy? Who's to say we weren't just figments of Sam's imagination as he was continuing to get tortured in Hell?
I shook my head, hoping to clear it of all those questions. I glanced over at Sam, who was looking out the window with a pensive look on his face. He looked worn out, and I knew it was only a matter of time before he passed out. Cass may have taken his crazy, but he didn't exactly taken his other problems. Though, now that he was 'Lucifer' free, he might actually get more than an hour of sleep every few days.
I looked back at the road, thinking about Cass again, or Emmanuel. Maybe I should have left him with his wife, that Daphne woman, and found something else. But Cass wasn't safe with Daphne; the demons were gunning for him even when he was in the dark. It was only a matter of time before they ended up killing him.
And maybe he was brought back to fix his mistakes. Maybe God or whatever wanted him to be able to redeem himself. They probably weren't expecting Cass to start with Sam, but beggars can't be choosers.
"How can you say all our friends are dead?" Sam asked and I glanced over at him.
"You said all our friends are dead. Cass isn't dead, Dean."
"We didn't part friends, Dean."
"Can we really call Cass a friend? I mean we didn't exactly part friends with him," I said almost repeating Cass's statement from last night.
"Why do we deserve a second chance and Cass doesn't? We've made mistakes, too."
"Yes, but we thought we were doing what was right."
"And so did Cass."
I didn't respond, I just flipped the radio on and turned the volume up. I didn't want to talk about this. Not now, and not ever. What Castiel did to Sam was about saving his own ass, not helping the greater good.
"This isn't a problem I can make disappear. You know that."
And yes, he did help Sam, but just how pure were his intentions? Was he doing it to make up for his own poor judgment and show us he could be trusted again, or was he doing it to make himself feel better?
"It's better this way. I'll be fine."
I guess it was a little of both. And who's to say, if we had just left Cass alone and let him just be an angel that any of this would have happened? Our hands weren't exactly clean in this whole mess. We kept putting it in his head to stand up for what he believed in, and he did just that. Poorly, might I add, but he did stand up for the little guy.
Of course, the little guy left dead humans and angels in his wake. He had unleashed the leviathans. He was the reason Bobby died. Everything that had happened this year could be tied back to Cass's mistakes.
Actually, really thinking about it, everything that happened this year and last year could actually be tied back to me and Sam starting the apocalypse. We turned Cass against his kind and taught him to be a bigger man. So, who's to say this isn't our fault?
That would be stupid to say, of course. We only taught Cass to make his own choices, we didn't tell him to trust Crowley. We didn't tell him to open purgatory. We didn't tell him to become God. We didn't tell him kill all those people and angels. This wasn't our fault.
So why did I feel so responsible?
"I deserve to die." But did he, really?
I remembered a few years ago, standing on the side of the road, telling Cass to never change. Sometimes I wished I could go back to that time, back to when Cass was just Cass and not working with demons to become the new God to destroy his brother. Back when he was just my best friend.
"All our friends are dead."
Maybe they were, maybe they weren't. Who knew? Who's to say Bobby wasn't a spirit, keeping an eye on us?
And really, maybe all of this is just a dream cooked up by me in Hell. Or a hallucination brought on by Alastair. I could still be on the rack, three (three-hundred) years later still telling Alastair to stick it where the sun shines.
Who knew, right?
This was written for peanut2lb. She asked me to write a tag for 'The Born-Again Identity' and I decided to take a crack at it. Not sure how good it is, and I wasn't sure exactly if this is what peanut wanted, but I tried to tunnel into Dean's psyche again. So, I really hope you liked it, and if you guys have a request just let me know.
So, thanks for reading, I do not own Dean, Sam, or Cass, and I should probably go.
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