Okay. After two months, it's finally here; say hello to the final chapter! The Sorting Hat gets philosophical in this one - I'm warning you now. I really hope you've enjoyed this short series, and I hope to see you next time I work with the Sorting Hat! I can't help it; it loves me! Thank you for the great response, and finally, enjoy!
Go on. Get it over with.
"Now, now, young man. You're the fifth impatient person today, and I don't think I can take much more. Why don't I just land you in Hufflepuff, if you're so adamant to finish quickly?"
Hufflepuff? Are you... are you some kind of monster? You can't land me with them!
"I wouldn't do that to those charming students, you're far too Slytherin for that."
Finally, we're getting somewhere.
"But let's have a look at the other Houses - Ravenclaw. Witty, yes, though a tad too insulting for my taste, intelligent, too. But not quite studious, I have to say. And Hufflepuff - you won't work hard for something you don't believe in, you're not exactly loyal and, well. It's not Hufflepuff for you, my boy."
Yes, yes, so, Slytherin, right?
"If it was that easy, I would have retired by now. Over a thousand years I've been doing this, and no mind is ever easy! Now, let's see here..."
"Bravery, courage, yes. Chivalry - in dribs and drabs, I suppose so, yes. And reckless, yes, when you let go of your defences and walls. So many walls for one so young, Mr Snape. Yes, you'd belong in Gryffindor."
Either you'll put me into Slytherin, or I'll turn you into a common sock!
"It could save you, my boy. Repent you. True allies in Slytherin, yes, but not friends, never friends. You need friends, Mr Snape, lest you forget what it's like to be loved. Gryffindor would suit you. You would find a home there."
I don't need a home; I need a school.
"School? Boy, school just comes with the territory. Anybody can find a school."
I'm not just anybody. And, besides... I'm not brave.
"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day that says, 'I will try again tomorrow'. Sometimes bravery is the little voice you hear whisper 'maybe' when it seems like the entire world is shouting 'no!'"
At this rate, you might as well place me in Hufflepuff with all this sentimental codswallop.
"Well, if you insist..."
"Well, then. Slytherin or Gryffindor, Slytherin or Gryffindor... you're a tricky customer, eh, lad? I suppose... I suppose I'll give you a choice, my boy. Gryffindor or Slytherin?"
I... I don't know.
"Are you sure, then?"
What do you mean? I just can't choose.
"Then that is your choice. Good luck, Mister Snape."
For what? I-