AN: Hi there, this is my first fanfiction but i've written many original stories. This is basically the background behind Blaine's death. If you'd like, you're more than welcome to skip over this chapter purely because i know a lot of people dont like character death (completely understandable as even i dont like it). If you've got any questions/concerns/or comments, feel free to message me on tumblr (lost-in-maine) or PM me on here. I hope you enjoy!

It was a Tuesday when Kurt found out. He had been watching a rerun of the latest episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills when a sudden knock on the door had him on his feet. He combed his hair with his hands a few times, trying to tame any stragglers before he opened the door, not caring to check to see whom it could be. He had been upset that the person had chosen this time in the afternoon to visit, due to the fact that it had taken nearly an hour and a half to get Ezekiel - Zeke to go to sleep.

"Mr. Hummel-Anderson?" When Kurt opened the door, he was faced with a man in a tailored uniform. Kurt felt the air leave him in one swift rush. There would only be one occasion that a man in uniform would be standing on the step of Kurt's front porch.

"No, please no." Kurt's hand covered his mouth, his lungs working under the sudden pressure of an oncoming panic attack.

"Mr. Hummel-Anderson, my name is Mike Meddleson, a Casualty Assistance Officer, and I'm sorry to say this, but your husband has been killed in action. There was an explosion, and Mr. Hummel-Anderson, being the brave man that he was, made sure his fellow soldiers had been brought to safety before himself. He made the ultimate risk and saved so many lives with this action." The man reached out a comforting hand to place on the young man's shoulder before handing over an American flag and a few medals Blaine had earned. "We'll remain here and help plan the ceremony... I'm very sorry for your loss, Mr. Hummel-Anderson." The man retreated to the car after making sure Kurt wouldn't pass out and potentially hurt himself.

Kurt held the flag to his chest as he went back into their house and shut the door. He slid down the green doorframe, his body shaking softly. He let the flag and medals fall to his lap before pulling his knees to his chest, the items being trapped between the two.

Kurt's mind was racing. It had only been two days ago that he had last seen Blaine's face on his computer screen. The smile reaching both of their eyes knowing that they only had to wait a single week more before they would be in each other's arms once again. Blaine hadn't been home in nearly six months, and was about to be home after his last and final term overseas.

Blaine had decided in his second year of college that he wanted to go into the army. He had gone in studying medical- his father, grandfather and great grandfather had been doctors-, and since Cooper's recent graduation from med school, he had decided to become a doctor as well.

It wasn't that Blaine was bad at what he did, he loved math, enjoyed science and could tolerate blood; he just felt that he wasn't doing anything to prove to his father that he could change the world. It wasn't uncommon knowledge that Blaine's father had all but forgotten about him when he came out, and since then, he had been trying to prove to the man that he was worth it. It had been one rainy afternoon that he had stopped by a recruitment office to grab a packet of information that decided his fate.

Kurt had argued with him for weeks that he would end up hurt, or even killed if he went into the army, but Blaine was set, there was no changing it. Blaine had told his father, and for the first time in years his father had smiled at him in pride. Later that week, Blaine signed up for the military with a smile.

Kurt and Blaine had managed to get married, stay in love and have a child in between the times that Blaine was at home from wherever he was stationed. Kurt was proud of Blaine, and as time passed, saying goodbye seemed easier, because the less they thought about the distance, the quicker time passed.

And now Blaine was gone, and all Kurt could do was curse himself for not trying harder to convince Blaine to stay home. Try a career in music or teaching. They would have children, one from Blaine and one from Kurt. In the future, they'd take their kids to see shows on Broadway, vacation in Rome, and spend a week at Disney because Kurt knew that any kid of Blaine Anderson would be a Disney fanatic. It seems that things would never go that way.

When the pair decided that it was time for them to become parents, they had made the decision not to use a surrogate that they were close to. It had been the couple's fear from stage one that the mother might run away with their child, but after being assured (and signing legal documents) they began their search for their perfect surrogate. Blaine had insisted they find someone who resembled Kurt, and in the end they did. It had taken nearly three years for them to have Zeke.

While Kurt didn't mind raising their son while his husband was gone, he wasn't too sure he'd be able to do it without a partner at all.

Blaine had only met their son three times- at the time of his birth, during his two weeks between rotations and finally, for their son's first birthday. It's not as if Zeke would know any different; he was barely old enough to remember anything when he was older. Kurt would remember, every time he looked into his little boy's hazel-gold eyes and curly brown hair, he would see Blaine.

Their entire house was filled with Blaine: pictures from high school, pictures from college, pictures during their wedding and honeymoon and even pictures of times when Blaine would be home from war. Trinkets were scattered across the house as well, the warbler pin, a small trinket of Ariel and Eric from their Disney trip, the wedding topper from their cake, as well as a few jars of shells that the pair had collected during their honeymoon. The Hummel-Anderson's house screamed Blaine, which only caused Kurt to cry harder.

Kurt stood after an hour of sitting against the door in a dazed mess. He walked towards their fireplace mantle, his fingers gently running over the most current picture of his –now deceased – husband. He let out a broken sob and went to Zeke's room as a wail was let out. He cradled the small one-year old, whispering hushed words into his little boy's ears. Kurt ran his fingers through Zeke's soft curls, humming the first tune that came to his head.

After shushing their child back to sleep, Kurt snagged a picture that sat on the table next to Zeke's crib.

"Kurt! Blaine! You guys need a picture together as parents!" Kurt winced as Rachel's high-pitched voice sounded from the kitchen, his eyes shooting down to the sleeping newborn. The pair sighed from the chair that they sat cuddled in, the small baby wrapped in a light green blanket in Kurt's arms let out a soft sigh.

It had been a long weekend, with the sudden birth of Zeke and Blaine's arrival a day later; Kurt had been constantly moving to keep things under control. It was just only on that Sunday afternoon that he had finally gotten a chance to sit down and relax with his family.

"Rachel, we're perfectly comfortable here. If you'd like to take a picture, feel free to come into the living room." Kurt turned his head to the right and nuzzled his nose into Blaine's neck. Blaine ran the tip of his index finger across his newborn's face, the skin soft and untouched.

From around the corner came Quinn, her camera hanging off a strap on her shoulder. "Sorry guys, I know you want some time alone, but Rachel will have my head if we don't get at least one picture of the happy family." Blaine chuckled and pulled Kurt closer to him.

"It's fine Quinn. We just don't want him to wake up." The pair posed for a picture, the click of the shutter told them that they were done, and both returned their eyes to Zeke. Blaine rested his chin on Kurt's shoulder, his finger caught in the death grip of a baby. It was then that the shutter clicked again, causing the pair to look up in question.

"Perfect." Quinn smiled to herself and made her way back into the kitchen.

A week later Kurt got both pictures in the mail; he sent the picture of Kurt and Blaine smiling at the camera to Blaine and framed the other one.

Kurt clutched the picture to his chest as he curled himself into the rocking chair that sat in the corner of the light green room. He watched silently out the window as the rain began to pour, the constant tapping of the droplets against the window quickly becoming background noise. Kurt sat there for hours; the small picture of Kurt, Blaine and Zeke lay forgotten in his lap; the soft sounds of a sleeping baby lulling him to sleep.

It was a week later that Kurt had the funeral for Blaine. It was a nice event, as nice as a funeral could be, at least. Due to the injuries that Blaine had faced during the accident, the casket was closed to family and friends. Blaine's face was seen throughout the entire ceremony; pictures of him throughout his entire life rested around the room, his favorite flowers bordering each of them.

Blaine's mother, father and brother had shown up to the ceremony. Kurt smiled softly as he watched the tears gather in his father's eyes. Blaine had managed to get his one wish; to make his father proud. Cooper had one arm wrapped around his mother and the other wrapped around his current girlfriend. He sent a soft smile to Kurt as another family stepped up to give the Anderson's their condolences.

Kurt held Zeke close as an officer approached him.

"Mr. Hummel-Anderson? We have managed to retrieve Mr. Hummel-Anderson's ring." The officer dropped the gold band, engraved with teenage dream and wrapped with small diamonds onto Kurt's open palm. Kurt closed his fist around the ring, his heart clenching. He silently slipped the ring into his breast pocket. His fingers found his own and began to twist it slowly- a nervous habit that had appeared whenever news on the current war came up on the television.

The wake passed slowly for Kurt. It seemed as if everyone had decided to attend Blaine's service today- old Warblers, old New Directioners, and even a few of Blaine's friends from the service. Kurt took all of the condolences with a small smile and the shake of his hand. He had promised himself that he wouldn't cry in front of anyone.

Cooper had approached him alone sometime in the mid-afternoon; his hands tucked into his suit pocket.

"Hey Kurt," Cooper took the younger man into his arms, squeezing Kurt tightly. Cooper let go of Kurt to turn back to the funeral party, his eyes scanning the mourning crowd. "You know, after I found out about Blaine, I was unsure about what to say to you." Kurt's eyebrows shot up as he turned to face Cooper. Cooper hadn't changed much in the past few years. It was true that smile lines were starting to appear along with a few grey pieces of hair. It took Kurt only a moment to realize that Cooper had been crying before he had arrived at the wake, his eyes puffy and red. "It sounds odd, seeing as I've known you for so long and Blaine was just as important to me as he was to you, but I wasn't in love with him. God, I remember when we were younger, and I had to watch Blaine one night while our parents were out."

Kurt wrapped his arms securely around his waist. "I had just put Blaine to bed when he asked me to tell him a story and as usual, I told him a story about a prince and a princess and their love for each other. It wasn't until about half way through that Blaine stopped me. He asked, 'Coop, do you think that the prince can find another prince to love?' I had never mentioned it to Blaine when he grew up, but that was the moment that I realized he was different than other boys. I think, after he met you on that staircase is when he found his Prince. Blaine found his prince, married him and had a beautiful son with him. Don't ever think that Blaine didn't love you, he was a wonderful husband and if he were here, he'd tell you that you'll never be alone and to have courage for the future to come."

Kurt swallowed thickly, quickly wiping away a tear that had fallen. "Thank you, Cooper. I want you to know that you can call me anytime, and you better visit in the future. I want Zeke to have at least some connection to his father."

Cooper chuckled, "That little boy will know so much about Blaine by the time he comes of age that he'll feel like he knew his father himself." The older Anderson pulled Kurt into his arms once more; "I'll see you around, Kurt."

Kurt hadn't paid much attention to the other people who had given their condolences throughout the day. It wasn't as if Kurt didn't care, he just didn't want more pain.

It wasn't until Mrs. Anderson approached him that he realized Blaine was gone and would be for all of eternity.

"Kurt, son," Kurt had never heard that before, "George Eliot once said, 'our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them.'" Kurt quietly wondered how she could remember such a quote,"Blaine isn't gone, he never will be. He can be found here,' She placed a small, withered hand upon his chest, 'and in the air around you. If I knew one thing about Blaine that he was surer of than life itself, was that he loved you with every fiber of his being. You will never forget Blaine, thus you'll always know that he'll be there in times of trouble." Kurt tenderly wrapped his fingers around Mrs. Anderson's hand and squeezed it gently.

"Now, you go and raise that little boy with your head held high. You are strong Kurt, you were strong with Blaine here and you'll continue to be strong with him in your heart." She leaned forward and placed a delicate kiss on Kurt's cheek. "We love you, sweetheart, and we always will." She stepped back slowly and moved towards her husband at a calm pace.

He buried his husband later in the afternoon, and stayed an extra few hours to say his own last goodbyes. Kurt was certain that when the wind blew at that moment, he could feel his husband wrapped around him.

It was only two days later, with a goodbye to his father, Carol, Finn, and the Anderson's that he hopped on a plane to New York. Kurt quickly promised each of them that they would be allowed to see their grandson and nephew whenever they pleased, as he gladly gave him his new phone number with a promise to tell them his new address when he got one.

Kurt had packed their home quickly. Avoiding things like their couch and most of the furniture. Kurt kept one lounge chair, the one that he and Blaine sat in every time Blaine came home. The one they found out they would be having a child in, the one Blaine had held his baby in for the very first time, and the one Blaine told Kurt everything would be fine in just six months prior and that nothing would separate them ever again. The leather chair that held all of Kurt's memories of Blaine; he just couldn't let himself get rid of that chair.

He told no one else, and slipped silently out of the state of Ohio without a second thought.

It was time for a fresh start, for him and his son.

Kurt lived in a duplex with one other couple, a pair that Kurt had met when he and Blaine had been at Dalton together. Everyone had seen it coming, and the fact that Kurt had merely bumped into Nick and Jeff on his first day in New York made it seem like fate to the three of them. They let him know about the duplex they lived in just across the river and how the other side had been vacant since the summer. Kurt followed them home and met with the landlord. The very next day, Kurt found himself moving all of his belongings into his new home; happy to know that at least there was one couple he could rely on in the big city.

Kurt quickly settled into a routine. He was getting paid by the government because of Blaine, and although it was nice not having to work, Kurt wasn't that type of person to just take from the government. So, after finding a decent daycare for Zeke, he managed to snag himself a job with a fashion designer in the city. Although just an assistant, at least he was helping with something he loved.

Months and years passed quickly with visits from his parents and the Andersons, and before Kurt could blink, the pain began to lessen just a little bit. He still missed Blaine, he couldn't sleep some nights without sobbing into his pillow, but he was living, or at least he thought he was. It wasn't until he ran into an old friend that he realized that though he was living, he wasn't necessarily alive.