I just got this finished. I'm not as pleased with it as I was with the Cold and the Dark. But I've decided that I will definitely be writing a Morgan/Reid series. It doesn't really have a plot and will be mostly (if not only) from Morgan's point of view and handle some things that has happened on the show or has not been shown but what could've happened. I hope this (and those yet to come) will be worth to read.
(The previous stories: The Cold and The Dark and The Hugs and The Cries. You don't need to read them first. Actually, you can read these in any order you want.)
That's the biggest difference between us. If you see someone – be it an innocent child or a blood thirsty serial killer – in distress, you run for help. You don't care about the consequences. You don't care if you get hurt. Or die even. I do. I run for help if the person is dear to me or if I'm positive that I can help the situation without risking my life. At least that's what I think. You've tried to prove me wrong – and succeeded in several occasions – but I just see more good in you than I see in myself.
No matter how much I love that about you, I can't help thinking that sometimes you should stop for a second and consider your actions. Maybe that's the reason why I find it impossible to forget that one particular day that became one of the worst days of my life.
When I turning around found you gone, scrambled after you to the house and noticed you shutting the glass door I was bewildered. Yet the only thing I could see in your eyes was fear as you frantically yelled at me to get back. You wanted to protect me. Save me. You knew something I didn't. Something bad. And then when I realized the blasting air and the white powder I was once again certain that you'd be dead by the time of midnight. That moment I would have given anything to get you out of there. I didn't want to be afraid of losing you. I'd been there. Way too many times.
I was too stunned to act so it was really you who game me all the instructions of what to do. You made me call Hotch. Tell him what had happened and that you were in trouble. You made me go out to wait and after I hung up with Hotch and dialed your number. You spend more than fifteen minutes assuring me that everything was going to be alright. That I was going to be alright. It was all wrong. But hearing your calming voice was just what I needed.
Later I couldn't be proud of you even if I wanted to. You insisted on Hotch that you wouldn't go to a hospital but rather stayed were you were and try working. You were determined to find the cure even if you had to suffer through the pain and the sickness while doing so. I knew you wouldn't take the medication that was offered. You were still afraid of getting addicted. All of that was noble and brave in a way but all I thought was that you were being a fool – once again.
Hearing you cough and choke on the phone the second time made me shake all over and I wanted to rush to the laboratory you were in and force you out. You didn't need this pain. It wasn't for you to suffer. It should've been someone else. It should've been me. But it was you. You, with your impulsive decisions. And you, with your big heart that someday would become the death of you.
When they finally took you out announcing that the cure had been found and that you would be the hero of the day that no one would know about made my heart skip a beat. I was glad. Overwhelmed. You would be alright. You would be safe. And I would stay by your side. I would be there every step on the way to recovery. That sure was going to be a hell of a long way, but I knew I wouldn't regret it.
I still have no idea how did you manage to talk me away from you to help Hotch. He didn't need me I knew that but I let you to make my mind otherwise. Then, I found myself from the office with the others while you were in the ambulance coughing your lungs off and spitting blood. I didn't know that until Garcia told me and then I felt like I had betrayed you. I was ready to take one of the SUV's and drive to the hospital as fast as I could, but Hotch was quicker than me telling that he needed everyone's head on the game and that you were with people that could help you the best. I didn't try to argue. I knew you would've wanted me to go. You would've wanted me to catch this guy.
When I later arrived to the hospital asking you doctor Kimura practically rushed over me and took me with her. She didn't take me to you but sat me down to a nurses' room and explained your condition. You were probably going to be alright, but how long it would take she didn't know. You had yet to wake up after you had passed out on the ambulance. She held her hand on my shoulder as my body trembled and tears leaked from the corners of my eyes. I had been so afraid. I still was and hearing that it wouldn't go away made me feel slightly nauseous. I bowed my head trying to control my emotions, which was proving to be a hell of a hard job. She stood quietly in front of me waiting for me to stand up and demand to see you as I did quickly enough after that.
She took me to your room where I found you lying under white thin sheets. I gasped softly. You looked a lot smaller than what I was used to you looking. You were pale and barely breathing. They had you on oxygen. Wise decision, if you ask me. But then again, I wasn't the one confided in the hospital bed.
I have no idea how many hours I spent reading magazines and eating whatever the sweet nurses brought for me. At times I glanced at you hoping to see you awake, but my hopes failed me every time. You remained at deep sleep and I could only wish it to be comfortable. I talked to Hotch twice, JJ once and Garcia three times. Garcia had called Prentiss and given her updates and Hotch had informed Rossi about your state. Only one visitor at a time was allowed and I had been determined not to leave your side so they had given up and let me stay.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity I heard your voice. It was hoarse and scratchy but it was there. And it was by far the best voice I had ever heard. And at that moment the cold that had been lurking inside of me left. It disappeared as fast as it had come. I was sure it would come back sooner or later but just seeing you awake gave me hope that it would stay away quite a long time.