Stefan was trying so hard to pry himself away from the situation he had regretted putting himself in. Meredith on the floor trembling from drastic blood loss, he somehow managed to find Elena's eyes and controlled himself, taking deep breaths as the blood left his eyes. Meredith was starting to come around but it was too much for him as his stumbled away searching for air that didn't make his skin burn from the urge to drink.
Elena could see how much effort it took for Stefan to control himself, she felt his pain and suddenly happiness, earlier that evening he had given her some hope for his humanity to return. Stating he wasn't in control, but surely this act of bravery, saving Meredith from dying with his blood meant he was back in control. She felt butterflies in her stomach as the gush of hope return to her body and tried to bring herself back to where she was, holding Meredith in her arms and pulling her phone out to ring Damon.
Later that night after cleaning up the blood from the bathroom floor, a memory too familiar and disturbing to her, Elena checked on Meredith who was sleeping soundly from a miraculous recovery in one of the guest rooms. Sighing in relief she entered the bathroom to wash her teeth, she lost herself in the mirror as she looked at her reflection. She started thinking about Stefan, hoping he hadn't relapsed after he left and what tonight meant, Elena suddenly felt sad. How had it had all come to this? That Stefan was suffering, that they were apart and she couldn't find a way to communicate with him.
She washed her face angrily and threw the towel on the ground while walking into her room. She switched on the light and jumped at the sight of him. Stefan had never left, why? She was suddenly nervous. "Stefan?" she whispered. He was standing with his head hanging down, looking at the floor, not moving except for the heaving painful breathing that seemed to shake at his core with every inhale. She looked down and saw that there was still blood on his hands, "oh god Stefan", and she rushed over to him to wipe the bloods off them quickly.
She knew that he had just frozen there after leaving Meredith almost an hour ago, completely stuck between ripper Stefan and humanity Stefan. She knew. He was still holding on. He was trying to come back, trying to control himself, for her. She looked up in his eyes when she finished cleaning the blood from his hands; they were still red and were not focusing on her. "Stefan...your ok Stefan, you're going to be ok", she slowly slipped her arms carefully around his neck, breathing slowing on his chest. He was still breathing frantically, "shh" Elena kept repeating, now slowly rubbing his shoulders. He still hadn't returned her hug, he was still standing, arms at his sides. Elena knew though, that this might have been the hardest part for him, being alone with all of this pent up blood frustration and he needed someone to be there to stop him, like Damon had explained to her that day.
She stayed there holding him for the next few minutes, rubbing his neck, "it's okay Stefan...its over", then after along moment, his arms slowly lifted around her back, still trying to calm himself, she was surprised, but didn't want to move. This was the closest she had been to Stefan in months and she didn't want to disturb this embrace.
She was calm, she felt safe in his arms, like she had forgotten what it had been like to be in them. His breathing slowed, and he held her tight, they stayed like that, glued together for at least an hour, but to Elena, it wasn't long enough. She could feel the intensity of his grasp around her back, she closed her eyes and settled herself on his chest, resting her eyes like she could finally relax after all of this time being apart from him. Like the past couple of months never happened and they were just together and alive.
Finally after a long time, his grip on her loosened, but his hands still lingered around the small of her back, as if they were going to drop. Elena felt uneasy, as though he was going to leave at any second in vamp speed and she would be left again like she had been so many times, wondering what this all had meant for them. She held her arms around his neck, after realising this and held them there as to make sure she went with him if he were to bolt off.
She carefully pulled away from his chest, and raised her head to him to meet his eyes. He was breathing slowing, his mouth slightly open, looking deep inside her chocolate eyes, but he looked distraught, scared, and it hurt her to see him this way. Broken between two places, not knowing which direction to take, tears filling his eyes and his gaze lingering on hers. She let out a soft breath before moving her hand to his jaw, she couldn't resist, and she had to know.
She brought her lips to his and brushed on them. But he only stood there; as she pulled back looking for a sign in his face to say that he wanted the same as well. His eyes were closed now, as though he didn't want her to see any emotion in him. She bit her lip in frustration before pulling his face to her lips again for another second, this time Stefan pulled away moving his face down away from hers, but letting out a tiny gasp that she barely heard. Once again, this time with both hands she kissed him and held him there feeling like this would be the last time. But then his hands tightened again and his lips pressed ever so slightly heavier on to hers. When they broke away this time Stefan's gaze was intense, like he had found something in that kiss that reminded him of something good.
She kissed him again and his hand moved through her hair as their lips locked in a passionate kiss. Elena moved her hand through his hair, their lips moving in unison now, slow and lazily. Stefan broke for a second to gasp for a breath, she was now tugging his shirt to bring his body closer as his lips met hers again, their kiss more intensified, his tongue swirling with hers, making her knees weak. They started to stumble as their bodies rubbed together automatically. Months of being apart all bundled up into this feverish moment and it was almost too much to take at once. Elena's hands moving all over Stefan's chest and Stefan stroking her collar bone and fisting her hair. She wanted more. It was as though Stefan was remembering everything about his love for her, she had broken that barrior he had put up and it all came gushing out at once.
He started kissing her cheeks and moved to her neck as she let out a soft moan, he lifted his head to hers and pressed his forehead against hers. His eyes closed, cupping her face as he caught his breath, "I'm so sorry Elena" he whispered.
"i know" she replied reaching for his hands and squeezing them against her face.
"Lena,...i love you...im sorry".
"I know" she replies softly, now both looking at each other. Tears welling up in her eyes, she let out a slow unsteady breath,
"just...please don't leave me again Stefan...please". He took a a moment to compose himself before releasing his words.
"Elena...not unless i die trying". He kissed her again, lifting her to him; her legs wound themselves around him.
They drop to her bed, bringing back a flood of memories form their past, he smiles in her neck as she moans from his touch. She removes his jacket and his shirt impatiently, he stops her, wanting to savour every moment of this. Holding her hands on top of her head as he stared at her, gazing into her eyes, like he had just let himself see her again, like the first time they made love. She was nervous, he was still looking at her while he moved his hand down her breast so softly, the intensity of his touch was making her so wet, she closed her eyes and he moved to her naval. Rediscovering her body slowly. He lifted her tank top over her head, slowly moving himself between her legs, and rubbed against her.
She could feel him through his jeans and he slowly removed her bra, kissing her slowly and sloppy focusing on the area between her breasts, still moving heavily on her threatening to make her fall apart even with their jeans still on. He lifted himself and started to remove her jeans, so slowly she couldn't bare it, he knelt on the floor to kiss her thighs, slowly moving down to her underwear and kissing in the middle. Biting the edges of it as he pulled them down, "Stefan" Elena gasped as he went down on her.
She had never forgotten how well he knew her body, it had been so long since his touch and she wasn't able to control her body under his. His tongue working her clit and pressing his face deep into her middle. His arms winding tight around her thighs ensured that the movement of her body would not disturb his technique; she came, clenching her body and moaning his name in ecstasy. He kissed his way up her body as she pulled his face to his, pressing his forehead against hers they both looked as he entered her, both moaning from the pleasure.
She was so tight, he remembered, and he felt so close already as she licked his neck, and bit his ear. "Elena.." he managed as she began to move her hips from under him. "i never forgot this" he said kissing her, "make me remember" she said in between kisses. She needed for him to show her how he used to love her, like she was the only one, like nothing could ever bring them apart, she had almost forgotten it and she hated it.
He started to move faster, her tightness making him moan with excitement. "oh my god Stefan" Elena cried signalling her second orgasm, "Stefan, i never forgot" she managed before screaming his name in ecstasy. Her walls clenching around him was all he could bare and he let himself go, digging himself even further into her. They moaned in each other's ears, coming together and panting heavily.
He stayed there after, still inside her as she stroked his back. He ran his fingers through her hair and turned his face into the crook of her neck so he could smell her and watch as his exhale made goose bumps appear on her body. Eventually they rolled over, still gazing, and stroking and remembering their bodies. Elena was tired but she didn't want to leave this moment. She didn't know how tomorrow would be, how they would continue after everything that has happened. She just knew she felt safe now, knowing they were together again. "I missed you" she says while stroking his cheek.
"I missed you every day Lena", tears filled up in her eyes and he held her closer, she knew now that all she needed was him. It scared her; she didn't want to admit that she needed someone so much, like it revealed a weakness in her.
She held her head next to his chest and began exploring it again, his body was different now, he was even more toned if that were possible and his skin soft and tanned. She kissed him slowly working her way to his neck and biting his chin. Stefan let out a moan as she worked her fingers down his body, she wanted more of him. "Someone's coming" Stefan whispered, looking concerned.
"Meredith must be up" as she raises her head to kiss him, smiling against his face.
"You're so beautiful" as he grabs her hips and kisses her chest.
"I better go see how she's doing", he nods and releases her gently. Watching her as she slips on her robe, knowing this, she does it slower and flicks her vision towards him for a split second before opening the door gently.
Elena walks down the stairs, hoping Meredith had not woken from the activities happening in Elena's room, she smiled at the thought of this. It was like old times, when Stefan would sneak to her room after saying their theatrical good bye's on the porch so Jennah would hear. And later would try and hush their love making without any success. Some of the attraction was to see who could make who fall first and it made it so much more of a challenge, especially for Stefan who loved when Elena lost herself when she was reaching her climax.
"hey are you ok?" as she saw Meredith in the kitchen sitting at the counter,
"hey…yeah…eh…im fine" holding her head in her hands,
"head ache" Elena asked.
"Head is killing me", Elena began to search for one of the extra strong aspirins in the medicine cabinet. She handed Meredith two and a glass of water,
"one of the side effects of vampire blood",
"I always give it to my patients, but I've never had to take it myself", Meredith says smiling, Elena rubbed her shoulder
"are you going to be ok?" she nodded smiling at Elena
"thanks so much, I just hope we can help Rick", Elena sighed,
"me too". They both looked at each other and remembered what had happened earlier that night in full,
"can I get you anything Meredith, tea, sandwich?",
"no, no Elena, I think I might just watch tv or something….get my mind off it, go back to bed" Elena nodded. Secretly hoping she would say that, so she could go back to Stefan.
"are you sure?" Elena asked to make sure, Meredith smiled and hugged Elena,
"go back to your man" she said while smiling, "I'll be fine". Elena smiled as she pulled away and slightly mortified at the thought of what Meredith might have heard.
She skipped up the stairs and returned to Stefan who was lying on his front resting on her pillow. She moved over to him stoking his back, and rubbing the back of his neck. "Hey" as he's moving to his side and rubbing her leg. "Hi" she whispers, removing her robe and climbing under the covers. He pulled her next to him, looking at her face and smiling back at her in happiness. Everything seemed so easy, it was like a magnet was pulling them together, they knew how to move around each other and show effection, and it was just easy. Stefan knew that trying to keep his feeling from her was not possible, he wasn't able to be apart from her, and if she still wanted him back, he would spend the entirety of his supernatural life making it up to her and loving her in every way possible.
"Meredith ok?", "she will be….thanks to you". Stefan took Elena's hand and kissed it, "no,.. thanks to you Lena". She moved closer to him, suddenly her heart racing, "what's wrong?" he asks, she knew he would hear it, he knows her too well. "How are we going to do this…?" she asks, her voice breaking slightly, he paused for a moment,
"We'll work on it" kissing her forehead,
"Every day", kissing her cheek,
"Until", moving to her neck,
"Were ok", leaving butterfly kisses on her collar bone. "mmmm" she moans, he turns to look at her in the eyes, "were a working progress" .