Stream of Consciousness

I remember rising to my own loneliness. The fear of solitude; the need for more.

I remember reaching out to you only to be faced with a turned back.

I remember dreaming of resurrection mingled in a marriage of minds to redemption.
A life filled with hopes yet to be obtained and dreams yearning to be fulfilled.

I remember loving you and you loving me….

So what went wrong, for us to be standing here at a crossroads a list of what ifs and names never discussed floating in shambled pieces on the wind of change; flying away with shattered dreams crystalizing into a mosaic of hurt and pain inflicted on each other.

I remember it tall.
That once I thought: "here is home" when I saw you.
Now all I see are rented stones of blue when I look into your eyes before they're averted and it's your back staring back at me, at a crossroads where names on stones are a reminder in a flood lit night that while heaven might have waited our love didn't, and our time passed us by so swiftly that we were still moving in the dance we created as we played out our parts as a spot light faded to a smoke filled haze and we became blasé about what we shared.

I remember better.
I remember loving you and you loving me.
I remember it all and I will one day remember having nothing at all…
nothing but renter topaz and a back turned to me, a dimming diamond on my finger…
a dying hope in my heart; the Phoenix burning in the fires of anger and hurt, knowing there will be no resurrection this time.