Life is Messy

A/n: So this was my entry in the SWW Pic contest. I didn't win;( But, I love the fic anyway. But, ya'll tell me if you want more...cuz I have some ideas. So, it's up to ya'll to tell me what you want...I'm cool, either way.

Much love to my Twifey, Lvtwilight09, for her outstanding beta services on this one...she truly pulled me from the ledge a time or two and kept me in check. We both got kinda attached to these two...I love you Steph, MWAH!

I hope you love these two as much as I do...and I'll try and get the pic prompt for this up on my profile and blog, as well as the pics of E/J that I had in mind.

ENJOY!

EPOV

I remember the first time I laid eyes on Jasper Whitlock. He was a sixteen year old, lanky boy with piercing blue eyes and dirty blond, curly chin-length hair. I was immediately captivated by him.

It took me thirty-two days to speak to him, forty-four days to kiss him and fifty-six days to see him in all his naked glory.

I've been in love with him from the first moment I laid eyes on him.

Here we are five years later, living in this tiny, two room apartment and going to university. There are days we hardly see each other but the nights when we both crawl into bed, there is no mistaking the love and passion still aflame within each of us.

But ... life is messy.

Jasper liked to party, go to the clubs, toke up when the mood struck. He's flamboyant, the socializer and boisterous, where I am completely the opposite. I liked to stay home, enjoy quiet evenings with a few close friends and have a more relaxed atmosphere.

These differences have caused more problems between us than I care to count, but until now we'd been able to work through them.

Jasper didn't have a good relationship with his family. His dad saw his sexuality as a damnable offense. He still spoke to his mother, occasionally. But as an only child, he was used to being a bit of a loner, so he acted as though it didn't bother him.

However, my mother and father were completely active and supportive of our relationship. They thought of Jasper as another son right along with my brother, Emmett and sister, Alice. As a matter of fact, my siblings and I often referred to him as the 'golden child' as my mother tended to dote on him more than the rest of us when we were all together.

My parents, Carlisle and Esme, paid for our college tuition as well as our living expenses, which had always made Jasper a bit uncomfortable. But he graciously accepted their help after the first semester when he realized he couldn't hold down a full-time job, a part-time job and take a full course load.

That had been another source of contention in our relationship.

But, once again, we had worked through it.

So as I lay here on the couch completely exhausted, I look up and see that precious face sleeping half above me, half on me as he attempted to sleep on the back of the couch.

I'm so conflicted.

We'd had a horrible fight last night and had been up 'til the wee morning hours arguing. It took my breath away to imagine my life without him, but I knew I couldn't continue on the path we were currently on.

Jasper was angry I had been spending so much time at the library studying for hours on end. Often I lost track of time and would wind up being thrown out of the library at the midnight closing hour.

He thought I was cheating on him because I often spent those hours with Liam, my lab partner. Yes, I knew Liam was attracted to me, he'd told me more than once. But I had also reminded him each time I was in a committed, monogamous relationship with Jasper.

It never dissuaded him.

We had mid-terms coming up, and Jasper's partying had increased ten-fold. So while I studied my ass off to get into medical school, he was drinking it up with all our friends at the local gay bar, Eclipse. I was worried about his excessive drinking, as his father was an alcoholic, but he refused to see my concerns as warranted.

So, we were at an impasse.

It killed me to feel this sea of distance between us. I mean Hell, we'd fought all night long, and I left him in our bed to sleep on the couch. Now, I wake up and find him sleeping above me, not inches away from me.

Both of us needed the other like we needed air to breathe. So we had to work this out, right?

Spring Break was a month away, maybe we could go somewhere, just the two of us and try and get back to who we are.

Get reconnected.

I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man. He'd been the only one that I'd ever wanted, that I'd ever touched, that I'd ever kissed. That had to mean something, right?

I watched him sleep, his hair falling all over his face; it was overgrown and past his shoulders now. But I could see his brow was furrowed and his face was tight; he wasn't sleeping peacefully.

I pulled my eyes from the sight of him and surveyed the room. It looked like a tornado had blown through here … and it kind of had. In the heat of our fight, we'd both threatened to leave, throwing things, chucking items around the room in haste, both of us trying to prove our point to the other.

I needed to go piss, but I didn't want to move and disturb him. Even in my anger, I never wanted to hurt him or cause him pain.

He was my whole world.

How could he not see that?

"Edward, I'm not blind nor am I an idiot." Jasper yelled as he threw clothes from the hamper all over the room.

"Fuck Jasper, what do I have to do to prove to you that I only want you. That I could never even look at another man the way I look at you!" I screamed in rebuttal as I picked up the tossed clothes and sent them flying back in his direction.

"You haven't touched me in a week, Edward. A fucking week! That's never, ever happened to us. Not since the first time we were together way back in high school. Hell, even when we both lived with our parents, we found a way to make love, fuck, or make out some way." Jasper stomped around the room, hands flailing in the air, but I could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

"Jasper, I haven't touched you in a week because you've either been out at the club, passed out drunk or not ready for bed by the time I've gotten home each night." I said as he stopped his movements and turned to face me. His body was tense, and his hands were clenched in fists.

His eyes were on fire as we locked our eyes into a heated stare-off.

"Do you still love me?" He whispered after a few too many quiet moments passed.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, "Babe, the fact you would even ask me that has me more worried than anything else we're fighting about." I said heavily and plopped down on the couch with my head in my hands.

"It's a valid question, Edward. You don't like my habits. You bitch about everything I say or do, where I go, who I'm with ... it's like ... almost like we've just grown apart." He said, and I heard the tears in his voice.

I looked up with my breath caught in my throat. I stared at him and saw how defensive his posture was, how his shoulders were hunched, the tension rolled off of him.

"Jasper, I love you more than life itself. I always have, and I always will." I said with a long gush of air. I felt my own tears build within my eyes.

I stood and took a few tentative steps towards him, and he mimicked my movements so that we were within inches of one another.

The desire to touch him was overwhelming. But if I gave in and our passion exploded, we would still have resolved nothing.

"Do you love me, Jasper?" I whispered as his eyes watched my lips as he licked his own.

"More than the air I breathe, baby." He spoke so softly I almost didn't hear him.

"What do we do to fix this?" I said as he brought a hand up to within a whisper of my jaw. I could feel his hand trembling with its close proximity.

"I don't know." He said as he closed his eyes and a tear ran down his cheek.

"Neither do I, but we have to figure this out." I said as I took a step back, hesitantly.

His eyes opened and noticed my movement. Rage flew across his eyes and he began to breathe heavily as I noticed his fists clench again.

He picked up a shoe and tossed it at the wall causing a mirror to fall and shatter.

He picked up our various portraits sitting around the room and broke them or chucked them across the empty space.

He'd managed to get our stereo equipment disassembled, and it was a casualty of the tirade as well.

I sat with my head in my hands as his anger took over.

"You can't even fucking touch me. Why shouldn't I believe you are touching someone else?" He screamed at me as tears streamed down his cheeks once his rage had begun to settle down.

"Jasper, if I touch you now, you know what will happen. We'll be both be naked and buried balls deep within five minutes. That won't solve anything because in the morning we'll be right back here, in this moment, in this same argument." I said as I watched him slide down the wall to the floor in front of our bay window. His hands over his face, fingers splayed as they came up through his hair and covered his beautiful face from my view.

I wanted to go to him.

I wanted to hold him.

I wanted to kiss away the doubts and fears.

But he had to grow up.

He had to make changes.

I didn't want to change who he was, I loved that side to him. It made him ... him. But I needed to know he was offering me safety, security and the promise of our future. The path he was currently on didn't lead me to feel any of those things from him.

"I miss you." He cried into the warm, thick, tension-filled air that surrounded us.

"Oh baby, I miss you too." I said as I moved to the floor to sit in front of him between his legs. His feet were on the floor and his knees were up with his elbows resting on them as I settled on my ass and sat Indian style with my knees under his.

I finally reached up and grabbed his hands so I could see his face. His fingers wrapped around each of my wrists and held us connected.

Two hours later, we were still arguing. I could see the sun start to peak over the horizon, so I suggested we sleep on it and resume a civilized conversation in the morning.

We each got dressed for bed and when I didn't join him, he became furious once again.

I just needed to sit in the quiet, apart from his body; the pull he had on me was too great to continue to fight the urges I had.

So here I lay, his body almost on top of mine, our legs tangled together, his hand wrapped around my bicep. I felt like I was missing something, something desperate he was dealing with.

Jasper was always touchy-feely, but the way he was touching me now had a different feel to it; like he was almost afraid I was going to disappear, leave him to fend for himself. Which neither were something I could or would ever do.

"What's going on with you, baby? Why are you so scared?" I whispered as I moved his hair out of his eyes again and studied his gloriously beautiful face.

I felt him sigh and heard the small whimper escape his lips as I tried to smooth out the wrinkled brow he had.

"Sweet boy of mine … how could you ever think I could betray you?" I whispered, once again to his sleeping form.

I pulled my hand back and stroked my morning wood only to feel the urge to take a piss rise up again. I didn't want to move, but I had to.

I slowly worked my way out from underneath Jasper's body and watched as he snuggled into my warm spot and buried his face in my pillow.

I took care of my business and washed my hands before I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair stood up on end all over my head, my jaw had stubble I had neglected the past few days and there were dark circles under my eyes.

I was worn out; school was mentally exhausting and home was emotionally taxing. Something had to change.

I opened the bathroom door to Jasper staring straight at me with a look of fear, apology and anguish on his face.

"Hi." He finally spoke as I moved into the kitchenette to make some coffee.

"Hi, baby." I said once I finished my task and walked over to sit next to him.

I slipped my arm around his waist, and he rested his head on my shoulder, "How did things get so fucked up?" I said as I felt him tense up under my arm.

"Edward … we should talk." He said with hesitation in his voice.

"Um … okay." I said and pulled back from him to sit back on the sofa in the corner. He ran a hand through his messy hair and turned and sat on the other corner of the couch facing me.

"My dad … he's really sick. My mom called me like a week or so ago to tell me. She wants me to go see him. She wants me to lie to him about us. She wants him to make amends with me so when he dies, he'll be at peace." Jasper's shaky voice spoke, and his eyes studied his fingers that fidgeted in his lap.

Anger built inside of me. How could she ask her only son to deny who he is … for the man that basically cursed him, threw him out on the streets at seventeen years old and left him to fend for himself?

Then it all clicked. It all made sense to me why he had been heavily drinking, partying more, picking fights with me … he was scared.

"Why haven't you told me?" I said, a little more clipped than I meant to sound.

He shook his head before he slowly raised his head with his wet eyes finally meeting mine. "I didn't know what to do. What's the right thing to do?" He said as a sob escaped his mouth.

See? Life is messy.

"Jasper, what do you want to do? Don't worry about your mom. Don't worry about me. Figure out what you think is the right thing to do and choose that." I said as I slid across the space towards him.

My boy was in pain, and I needed to comfort him. He'd spent so many years taking care of me, tending to me it was time I took some of that responsibility.

He lunged for me and wrapped his arms around me with such force it knocked the breath out of me as I wrapped myself around him, too.

He cried into my shoulder as I held him and stroked his hair, "It'll be okay, Jasper. You aren't alone. No matter what you decide, you won't ever be alone. I'll always be here, baby." I whispered into his hair as I felt his fists clench my shirt and his nose bury in the crook of my neck.

His warm breath across my skin sent a wave of heat through my body. I had missed him more than I allowed myself to show.

This week without a physical connection to him had been just as hard on me as it had been on him.

We come alive and blossom in each other's arms and when we went too long without that connection, this is what happens … we wither and decay.

"I believe you, Edward." He whispered into my skin as he spoke.

I sighed heavily at his admittance. "I'm glad, baby." I pulled his head up so I could look him in the eyes, "I've only ever loved you, Jasper. I've only ever desired you, Jasper. I could never, ever love another or touch another … you are my other half; albeit a messy half but my other half, nonetheless." I said, jokingly as I tried to lighten the moment.

He chuckled as his crystal blue eyes still sparkled with wetness, but I moved my thumbs to dry his cheeks and held his chin. "I love you with everything I have, Jasper."

He slowly leaned forward and touched his lips to mine. They were rough and dry but felt like heaven against mine. He was hesitant in his kiss but slowly we allowed our emotions to take over and the intensity deepened.

I opened my mouth to him as his tongue quickly wrapped around mine; his mouth tasted of stale cigarettes and soured beer, but I wasn't about to pull away. He needed this. I needed this.

This was us.

Messy.

Nasty morning breath.

Trashed apartment.

Exploding passion.

He pushed me onto my back, and I felt his hardened length against my belly as my own began to respond to his touch and the feel of his body over mine.

Jasper and I had gone back and forth over the years on who was the top and who was the bottom. Originally, Jasper would only bottom but about two years into our relationship, we began to explore his desire to switch. I loved the feel of him inside of me, so I was happy to let him love me as he saw fit.

But for the past year or so, I had mainly been the top, and I knew today was one of those days he needed to claim me, to feel like he could mark me as his. I was all too happy and eager to just feel him against me to care.

I knew we still had a lot to work out but as his mouth began to move across my throat and down to my collar bone, I didn't care. We'd work it out, we always did … and right now, he was bringing us back to where we belonged.

Connected.

Reunited.

Joined.

Jasper's hands pulled my shirt up and over my head quickly followed by his mouth on my nipple as he tugged on my nipple ring.

"Fuck, baby." I gasped at the rush of pain mixed with pleasure that shot through me.

He moaned and sucked on it harder, his teeth pulling the ring tight as my back arched into his mouth. His hands worked my pajama pants down off my hips and past my knees as his mouth moved down my body. Once he rid me of my clothing, he settled between my knees and slowly licked the head of my penis. It was already leaking in anticipation of his mouth on me.

"I love you, Edward." He said as I looked down to where he flexed his jaw; his eyes bore into mine as he sucked me into that warm, wet mouth.

"Jasper…" I moaned and fought to keep my eyes on his when they wanted to roll into the back of my head.

"Feels so good, baby," I groaned as my hips came up to meet his motions. Each pass up and down the shaft he pulled me a little deeper into his mouth, his right hand wrapped around my hip and under my back while his left hand began to massage my balls.

He hummed around my hard dick, and it vibrated through my whole body … I was on fire for him, and he knew it.

Jasper's tongue swirled and licked and sucked as he began to increase his movements. My hands came down to hold his hair up so I could watch as I fucked his mouth. My hips rose off the bed and met his thrust for thrust.

He inserted a finger into his mouth along with my dick, and I knew it was only seconds away from pushing against my puckered hole. It would send me over the edge, and I was already so close to falling.

Sure enough, he pushed and spread me open wide as his finger began to fill my hole while his cheeks hollowed out as he sucked me hard. When I felt him insert another finger and my head hit the back of his throat, I couldn't hold back anymore. My back arched off the bed as my hands shoved his head down and held it there as I shot ribbons of hot cum into his mouth.

He moaned and sucked, swallowing all I gave him.

I felt like I was flying as my orgasm pushed me into that realm of ecstasy only Jasper could take me to.

"I need you, baby." He whispered as he sat up and moved up my body while I panted and struggled to regain my breath.

"I'm yours, Jasper. Take me … make me yours." I managed to say between gasps of air.

I felt him rise up and go across the room to the cabinet where we kept the lube. I turned my head and watched him strip out of his clothes as he stalked back to me. His body was amazing; long, lean and cut. My boy loved working out or running, and he knew it turned me on to see his naked body so fit.

"Turn over, baby." He commanded softly as I listened and obeyed.

Once he had me on my stomach, his hands roamed over my back before they settled on my ass; kneading, pushing and eventually spreading my cheeks as he poured a line of lube down the crack.

I felt his fingers push into me as he pulled me up off my stomach a bit. Usually he liked me flat so he could lie on top of me, but I could tell he needed it rough, primal … taking me hard, he needed to claim me.

I gave my body over to him as I felt him place the tip at my entrance, "Ready, baby?" He asked with a grunt as he began to push inside of me.

"Always, Jas … I'm always ready for you." I whimpered at the feel of him as he stretched me.

I held a breath as he pushed his body inch by glorious inch to fill me completely. Once I felt his hips against my butt cheeks, I knew it was only a matter of moments before his lust took over, and he would begin his attempt to reclaim me.

"You better be ready, E … I need you bad." He said as he pulled slowly out of me, only leaving the tip at my entrance. I looked back over my shoulder and smiled.

His gripped tightened on my hips as he pushed in hard. It took my breath away as I let my head fall to rest on the bed while he was relentless in his assault on my body. I was on fire for him and my own cock was rigid and aching for some friction, but this was about him and his need to make me his again.

"You like it when I fill you full, don't you baby?" he growled as he leaned forward and bit my shoulder.

I moaned and pushed my ass back to bring our bodies flush once again.

"Fuck, Edward." He said as he pulled back up to sit on his on knees where he returned to full speed strokes in and out of my body. The pain mixed with pleasure heightened my senses, but the desperation in his movements overwhelmed me more than anything else.

"I'm yours, Jasper … all yours." I managed to say when he pushed in hard and I felt him cum deep within me as I felt the tremble in his hands that gripped my hips.

He collapsed on top of me and struggled to come down as I managed to get out from underneath him and turn on my side to hold him.

We lay in each other's arms, spent, sated and still reeling from our highs, and I just wanted this moment to last. I didn't want a repeat of last night's fiasco, plus I didn't think our apartment could handle any more destruction. It was going to take all day just to clean up the mess we already had.

"Jasper?" I said as I felt him snuggle deeper against my chest with his arms wrapped around me. I tightened my arm around his shoulder and ran my hand through his hair. He loved it when I did that; it soothed him.

He moaned and mmhmm'd at me. I held in a chuckle as I knew he was in that quiet, calm space before he fell asleep.

"I want the two of us to go away for Spring Break, somewhere warm, sunny and private, if you are up for that." I said as he slowly brought his head up to look at me.

"Are you sure? Weren't you going to use that week to get ahead on some projects you have going on?" He questioned me with worry in his eyes.

I pulled him further up my body so I could kiss him softly. "Yes, I was. But I think you are more important. I think we are too important. We both need a break. Once you figure out what you want to do, then we can make plans from there." I said quietly as his eyes closed before his head lay back down.

"I don't want to talk to my father." He whispered, and I felt his tears hit my skin.

"You don't have to; if that's a choice you can live with, I will support you one hundred percent." I reassured him and tightened my arms around his body.

He shed a few more tears then leaned up and kissed me.

"I love you, Edward." His eyes searched mine for a second before his cleared and reflected my own love back at me.

"I love you too, Jasper." We kissed for a few more minutes before he moved to sit up.

"I guess we should take a shower and get to cleaning up this mess, huh?" He said with a chuckle.

"I'm sorry about how I acted last night." He wouldn't look at me, and I could feel the shame in his how tense his body had become.

I lifted his chin towards me, "Hey, none of that. We both got a little out of control. We're tired. We're stressed, and we have definitely been missing the hell out of each other; which is exactly why I feel like we need this trip. We need to cut loose, have some fun, be the young college guys in love that we are." I said with a smile.

"You're right, as usual, smarty pants." He said as he tickled my sides.

"I usually am." I said with a smirk and tried to get away from him as he tickled me.

We made it through our shower and decided to go grab a quick bite to eat at the diner down the block before we came back and conquered our clean up mission.

Half way through our meal Jasper's cell phone rang, "It's my mom." He said as the color blanched from his face.

I took the phone from his hands, "Hello, Charlotte." I said hastily.

"Edward, I need to speak to Jasper, please." She said stoically.

"He's not available right now, but I can give him your message." I said as I bit back the anger I had for this woman. I mean, she gave life to the man of my dreams so I could appreciate her for that, right? Sure, but the rest of her could rot in Hell as far as I was concerned.

"Edward, I'd really prefer to speak to my son." She said, and I could tell she had her teeth gritted.

"Well, too bad. He's not taking calls at the moment. So whatever you have to say, you can say to me, and I'll pass it on to him." I said with all the petulance of the stubborn middle child I truly am.

"Fine, Peter has taken a turn for the worse, so I need to know when he'll be by to see his father. It looks as though we only have a few days, according to the doctor this morning." I could hear the pain in her voice, but it didn't faze me in the least.

"I'll let him know, and he'll get back to you when he has made up his mind." I said before I hung up the phone.

Jasper's eyes brimmed with tears as he stared at me from across the table.

"How bad is it?" He finally whispered as I reached across the table and took both of his hands in mine.

"It's bad." I said, reluctantly. No matter how badly they had hurt him, verbally abused him or tossed him aside, they were his parents and deep down he wanted their love and acceptance.

A single tear rolled down his cheek as he closed his eyes. "Baby, do you want me to call her back so you can talk to her?" I asked before he shook his head and opened his eyes.

"She'll just get angry because I've decided not to go see my dad." He said with a hoarse voice, and I could tell he was close to sobs. I left some money on the table and grabbed his hand to pull him from the booth.

Once we got into the car, I pulled him into my arms where he broke down in a heavy sob. I held him and let him go through all the emotions he needed to.

He sat up a few minutes later, and I wiped away the remaining tears, "Are you ready to go home?" I asked quietly.

"Yes." He replied before he leaned across and kissed me, soft lips and gentle touch but it conveyed all it needed to.

We got to our apartment door fifteen minutes later and could hear someone inside, cursing loudly before I put the key in the lock and pushed the door open.

My little sister, Alice, stood in the middle of the room with her hands on her head and cursing loudly as she surveyed our mess.

As she heard the door close, she spun around with her eyes narrowed and a finger pointing back and forth between Jasper and I, "What the fuck have you two done to this place?"

We both kind of laughed and shrugged our shoulders at her before we each wrapped an arm around the other's waist. When it comes to Alice and her wickedness, we had to provide a united front.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing I happened to stop by today since neither of you are going to 'fess up to this debauchery." She said as her foot tapped, and she put her hands on her hips.

"It's nice to see you too, little sister." I said with a grin and walked over to hug her.

She tried to fight her smile before she gave in and hugged me back.

I stepped back as Jasper stepped up to hug her next. "What brings you to our humble abode today?" He asked as his hand sought out mine. He was still weak from his emotional outburst and needed my strength so as to not alert Alice to anything.

She stared at him for a minute before she looked over at me and frowned.

"Well, Dad found out about your dad, Jasper … and well, I had some news of my own. So I wanted to come by and check on you both." She said quietly and sat on the edge of the sofa while we moved around the room and sat on the loveseat across from her.

Jasper took a deep breath, and I squeezed his hand, "What do you know, Alice?" He said just above a whisper.

She looked at her hands then back up at us, "That he's dying."

Jasper nodded his head, "He is. Apparently, he's only got a few days left."

She nodded and wiped a tear from her cheek, "What are you going to do?"

"Nothing, I'm going to do nothing but go on with my life. He chose to push me out of his. He doesn't get absolution now. He should have come to me a long time ago if he wanted me in his dying days." Jasper said with confidence and defiance.

I leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"Well, I have something for the two of you." Alice said as she produced a large envelope from her oversized purse.

She reached across the table and handed it to me as I looked at her curiously before I opened it.

"You see, Jackson and I were supposed to go on this trip for Spring Break. But I got a call from New York and they want me out there that week, so I can't go. And, well, since I paid for the trip, Jackson wouldn't take it. However, I didn't want it to go to waste, so it's yours if you want it." She said with a huff as I pulled open the envelope to see two first-class airline tickets to Bora Bora and a week's paid lodging on the beach.

"Are you fucking serious, Alice?" Jasper gasped once he saw what it was.

"Yep, trust me, it's killing me. But if I want my line to be shown in September, I have no choice but to head to New York that week." She said with a both excitement and disappointment in her voice.

"We just talked about taking a trip this morning so this works out perfectly, Alice." I said as I looked at my little sister with a smile. "Thank you very much."

Alice stayed for a few hours and helped us clean up the apartment while chastising us again and again about living like slobs. She knew something sordid had gone down but knew better than to ask us about it.

I offered to cook dinner for her, but she had a date with Jackson and kissed us both good-bye with a threat of violence if we didn't come back from our trip with tanned skin and loads of souvenirs for her.

As Jasper and I lay in bed that night, I could tell the emotions of the past twenty-four hours were taking a toll on him.

"Baby, are you okay?" I asked as I tightened my grip around him.

"I will be once we are on a plane and that man is in the ground." He said as he turned his head to look up at me from his spot across my chest.

"You really don't want to see him? Don't want to say anything to him before he dies?" I questioned one more time.

"Edward, anything I have to say to him will only cause more stress and friction between us, so what's the point?" He said before he laid his head back down.

I sighed and kissed the top of his head, "I just don't want you to have any regrets, baby. That's all."

"I won't. My only regret is I didn't stand up to him years ago when he was strong enough to take me on." He said with a yawn.

I knew he meant the words he said, but I knew the hurt behind them. I also knew the day his dad died would be an equally emotional day for him.

Our trip couldn't come fast enough.

See? Life is messy.

Three days later, Peter Whitlock died in his sleep, and he was buried on the day we boarded a plane to Bora Bora.

Jasper slept most of the trip and almost the first full day of our vacation.

We had a small hut on a secluded portion of the beach. I lounged around, read and sunbathed while he got the sleep his body so desperately needed.

He rolled out of bed around eight o'clock that night and surprised me out on the deck where I sat reading a book and having a glass of wine.

"Hi, baby. Why didn't you wake me up?" He asked as he sat on the end of my lounge chair.

"Hi love. I didn't wake you because you needed the sleep." I scooted forward and kissed him.

"Mmm, I guess I did. I feel so much better being here, alone, with you." He said with a sparkle in his eyes I hadn't seen in weeks.

"Let's go for a walk on the beach. I need to stretch my legs, and it's so beautiful out tonight." He said, and I nodded in agreement. This is what I had hoped for.

The moment was here as we walked along the shoreline where the warm water caressed our feet.

"Jasper, I wanted to ask you something." I said hesitantly as I wrapped my arms around the love of my life.

"Okay." He said and faced me as I dropped my arms and got on my knees.

He gasped as I pulled a black velvet box from my pocket, "Will you marry me?"

His eyes welled up with tears, and I fought to contain my own, "I have loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I knew then and I know now I will never love anyone the way I love you. So please, do me the honor of becoming my husband."

As the tears ran down his cheeks, he dropped to his knees and pulled something from his own pocket, "I was hoping I could ask you first." He said as we both opened the boxes in our hands to show we had chosen the exact same bands for each other.

"I'll always love you, Edward. I've always loved you. My life is messy and chaotic, but you are my balance; my soul's other half. I can't imagine not having you by my side for the rest of my living days." He said as my own tears wet my cheeks.

"Yes Jasper. I'll marry you." I said and pulled him to me.

"I'll marry you too, Edward." He said just before he crashed his lips to mine.

Our bodies meshed in a tangle of arms and legs as we fell back into the sand. Jasper's lips we desperate and never left my body, whether through a kiss to my lips or a nip to my neck. His hands followed suit as they quickly worked to get my swim trunks down my legs.

"Let's go into the water, baby." I suggested as I put a hand on his neck as the other wiped the hair from his eyes. He smiled and nodded as I worked him out of his own shorts.

We walked hand in hand and naked into the warm ocean water. Once we were about chest high, I pulled him into my arms and softly kissed his lips.

He wrapped himself around me, and I pulled his legs up around my hips. I felt his cock push up against my belly and couldn't fight the moan deep in my throat at the feel of him.

"I need you, Jasper." I whispered just before I pulled his earlobe in between my teeth.

He shivered and groaned, "Let's go back to the beach."

I carried him out of the water to our patio. I sat him down on his feet, and he led me to the bed.

"Take me, Edward. Show me I belong to you and only you." He beckoned as he crawled to the center of the mattress.

I quickly grabbed a packet of lube from the bag on the floor and crawled up beside him.

"You'll always belong to me, baby." I said as I parted his legs and settled between them. I kissed his chest and tugged on his piqued nipple as he mewled and arched his back into my touch.

I pushed up off the bed and opened the package with my teeth before I spread a line down my aching cock and then on a finger.

"Are you ready for me, sweet boy?" I asked as our eyes locked and I slowly worked a finger inside of him. He squirmed, and I grabbed his hip to hold him in place.

I pushed another finger into him and spread them wide to prepare him. I was burning with my desire to be inside of him, feel the connection we share and reassure him we belonged only to each other.

"Edward… more… please more." He begged as I hitched his legs up over my hips and lined my tip up with his puckered hole.

"Is this what you want?" I pushed the head in.

I fought to keep my eyes from rolling back in my head at the feel of his heat, and he whimpered as I stared right into his baby blues.

"Do you need more of this?" I growled as I pushed and kept pushing until I was almost completely inside of him.

"Fuck…. " He murmured, and his hands reached up to grab ahold of the headboard.

"You belong to me, Jasper." I said as I continued my thrusts and pushed completely inside of him to where our bodies were flush.

"Yes… " He whispered.

"All of you … MINE." I said as I began to pull out and push back in, hard but slow. Over and over I continued in this rhythm which allowed me to feel his body's grip on my shaft. It felt like Heaven.

"Yes…yes…yes…" he chanted over and over as I watched his hard cock bounce and jerk against his abdomen.

I looked up to see Jasper's head thrown back and eyes shut. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

My boy, my love, my fiancé … in the throes of ecstasy … and it was almost too much.

The emotions coursed through me as fast as my impending release.

"Touch yourself, Jasper… let me mark us, together."

He opened his eyes and looked up at me while one of his hands came down to wrap around his cock. A few short strokes and I yanked my cock from his body, "Now, Jas … cum now." I said as several hot, long streams of white flew across his chest just as his own release mixed with mine.

Marked.

Us.

Messy.

We were married on the beach the next afternoon and spent the rest of our trip on our honeymoon.

My parents were thrilled when we called them and promised to have a reception for us when we returned home.

Through all the hard times and the messy situations we'd endured, I knew the two of us together could get through them all. Now we just had to start living our lives; clean, and free of the clutter.

The End.

A/n: Le sigh...aren't they precious? Well? Tell me what you think...it's in your hands:)

Kyla