Passing Notes


Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling, etc. All fonts used can be found at the Font Garden. Basic plot (GG meetings) based on the movie Strike (re-released as All I Wanna Do, and in Australia, known as The Hairy Bird) and Bedazzled. The idea of "passing notes" for a subplot is based on my life in (my old) Spanish and math class, and from Cosmo Girl! Most Brit language is from the AMAZING Louise Rennison books, "On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a SEX GOD", and "Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas", and Disney's the Princess Dairies. Song is owned by E-Type, "Life". Drug knowledge of the Miltown is from Yahoo's! health and drug section.

Summary: Passing notes in class is fun; secrets are shared, gossip is spread, and friends get closer.  Now the boys are on a mission to find out just what the Gryffindor girls are writing… just what are the GG meetings? What's the purpose? Will the passing notes be responsible for something Hogwarts has never seen before?

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: HP & the Prisoner of Azkaban, HP & the Goblet of Fire


CHAPTER FIVE: That Bites the Hairy Bird!

            By the time Harry and Hermione had finished their snog session, the dance was nearly at an end, with only a few songs left that were to be played by the band.

            The two felt it was best if they did not dance; there were too many Professors standing about, and Snape was looking just as malevolent as ever, tearing apart couples who were "dancing too close that a piece of air couldn't get in between".

            In the end, Hermione settled on kissing Harry goodbye on cheek, before taking her position by the refreshment table.

            "Where have you been?" hissed Blaise, in her usual Slytherin voice. Hermione winked.

            "Well, if you really want to know…" she gloated, before whispering to the girl, "Ravenclaw Tower, Gryffindor Dorms, empty classroom and here."

            "Oh, okay… WHAT?? Empty classroom? Why? Did you need to hide? Everyone heard Cho scream, even over the music! What happened?" Blaise sputtered out, her brown eyes wide with wonderment.

            Hermione laughed, "Oh, don't worry. I'll tell you later, okay? It'll be great, when you hear everything… ah…" She wiped a fake tear from her eye to show Blaise just how much fun the whole adventure had been.

            "And, now, the second last song we're going ta play," announced the lead singer of the band, Flat Critters, that Dumbledore had hired. The music started up, and couples began dancing to the unch, unch, unch of the beats.

One more time

I leave behind those burning bridges

It's a crime

I am here

There must be somewhere I can breathe

Now take me there

            "Hey, look at the St. Aristippus boys," laughed Dean as he came over to where the two girls were standing and talking. The two girls followed his finger to see just how pathetic that school was. The boys were all in a circle, jumping in and out of it while singing, "Hokey Pokey". Hermione shook her head.

            "I think they drank too much of the Surprise Punch," she revealed.

            "Surprise Punch?" asked Dean, surprised. "Why didn't I have any of it? Look – all the girls are watching them!"

            "Yah, with disgust," said Blaise, rolling her eyes. "Besides, it was for the St. Aristippus boys, not you or anyone from Hogwarts… though, it might do Goyle and Crabbe some goodness for their favor."

            Hermione laughed, but when she looked up, her face paled. "Crap! McGonagall's coming this way! Hide the tankard!"

            She and Blaise began to scramble as they disposed all the remaining cups, which they loaded onto Dean to pass out for free, before hiding the Surprise Punch tank underneath the table, where they could toss it outside and use cleaning charms to get it clean.

It's time to see

I want to make you breathe

Life can be whatever, what you want it to be

You need the key

I'm gonna make you see

No more make believe, you just go

            "What's going on here?" McGonagall asked, just as Blaise stood from hiding the tank.

            "Oh, nothing, Professor," she said, plastering a smile on her face.

            "Where's Hermione?" she asked, her lips going thinner as she spoke.

            "Ah, right here, Professor," came Hermione's voice, as she stood, smiling. "I spilt some of the punch on the ground, so I used a cleaning charm to fix it up. I hope that is all right."

            "Yes, it is," snapped McGonagall. She motioned to the Hokey Pokey dancers behind her. "Did you have anything to do with this?"

            "Of course not!" both girls gasped out. "Why?"

            "Put your homer in, put your homer out, and wag it all about," wobbled the off-key dancers. Hermione, Blaise and Professor McGonagall winced visibly.

            "Just a hunch. I'll be watching the two of you," Professor McGonagall finished up, before turning sharply on her heel.

            Both Hermione and Blaise shared a look, before turning to watch the Professor head away.

            "Hey…" said Dean, as he returned, "Where's Parvati's date? He was the one with a camera around his neck, taking pictures of everyone."

            Both girls shrugged. "But there's Parvati, now," said Hermione, pointing.

            Dean turned to see Parvati tap one of the Hokey Pokey boys on the shoulder. It turned out to be Hermione's date, Darrel Cockner.

            "Have you seen my date?" politely asked Parvati, wringing her hands in worry. Darrel looked at her for a moment before turning back to the group.

            Shouting, he said, "Put your date in!"

            Parvati was pushed into the circle, and Dean stood straight. The three watched as she was bounced around, scared and confused. Finally, not taking it anymore, Dean strode forward, shoved Darrel away (thinking he heard Hermione cheer when he fell on the floor), and grabbed Parvati by the arm, pulling her out of the circle.

            "Thank you, oh, thank you, thank you!" chanted Parvati over and over, clinging breathlessly to Dean, who had a blush staining his dark cheeks.

What's that sound?

My destiny is bound for changes

Lost and found

You tell me

There's gonna be a showdown somewhere

It's unreal

            "It's not a problem," Dean replied, huffily, before he offered his arm to Parvati. "Shall we ditch this place? No one will miss us."

            "Sure," grinned Parvati, taking his arm, just ask Snape shouted, "THOMAS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF DETENTION??"

            Hermione and Blaise shared an "uh oh" look, just as Snape strode over, grabbed Dean's upper arm and spun him around. Parvati moved to stand near Blaise, shocked.

            "Uh… hi, Professor," mumbled Dean.

            "Yes, hello, Mr. Thomas. Mind telling me why you're not in your in-school suspension in the library?" asked Snape coolly.

            "Uh… I needed a drink?" he tried.

            "Tell it to the Headmaster. Maybe now he can expel you!" sneered Snape, dragging Dean to the doors. However, Seamus, who was dancing, was bumped out of his circle and into Snape.

            "Mr. Finnigan! Care the join us to the Headmaster's office?" Snape almost cackled with glee. Seamus paled considerably, but nodded sullenly. "Now, if you and Mr. Thomas are out, I am sure that the worst of you two are also free… so, spare me the trouble of finding Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley, why don't you?"

            "We would if we could," replied Seamus, in his Irish accent, "But, Professor, we don't know where Ron and Harry are."

            "Codswallop!" snapped Snape. "Now, where are they?"

            "Severus," came McGonagall's voice, "Allow me to deal with these two, and more… they are my House students, after all."

            "Minerva," came Snape's voice in a warning tone. The two teens watched as the two House head stare each other down, and slowly backed up towards the doors on their own.

            "Hold it right there, you two!" shouted Minerva, pointing a finger at them, without looking away from Snape. The two boys slumped, before standing where they were in defeat. "Now, let's head to my office, where I shall deal with you two accordingly."

            Parvati, Hermione, and Blaise watched in defeat and sadness as two of their friends were taken against their crazy and free will to be punished more severely than before.

            Sighing, Hermione stepped around the table.

            "Where are you going?" asked Blaise.

            "I'm going to find Harry, Ron, Draco and Ginny. I think we all have to head to Professor Dumbledore's office. We all have some explaining to do, and maybe… it's time to come clean."

            Blaise nodded and smiled. "Come clean? Oh… hey, Hermione?"



            "For what?" the bushy-haired girl asked, confused.

            Blaise smiled shyly at the table, before looking up. "Well, for being kind enough to give a Slytherin a chance to prove we're not all that bad. And… also for being a friend. These past few months have been great ever since you came into my life. Thanks."

            Hermione smiled kindly at the girl before turning and walking onto the dance floor, talking to Draco and Ginny. They both nodded and followed her into the shadows, as she found Ron, Lavender and Harry. They then all emerged from the darkness, heading to the door.

            "You know," began Parvati, making Blaise jump, "They make an interesting group. We all do."

            "I know what you mean," laughed Blaise. "Wizards above, do I know what you mean!"

It's time to see

I'm gonna make you see

No more make believe, you just go

I've got life

You're always on my mind

You gotta believe in something, all right

Forever by your side

I've got life


            McGonagall's office was packed. She had been yelling at Dean and Seamus when there had been a knock on her door, and Hermione strode in with the rest of the accused behind her. Cho Chang (fully dressed), and Chad Brussels, was also in the office, only a few seconds later.

            "QUIET!!" she shouted, over the din, waving her wand so threatening sparkles flew out. The students immediately sat on the floor, or a seat, or a lap, shutting up effectively.

            When this was accomplished, Minerva McGonagall rubbed her temples and wearily asked Hermione, "Now, what are you doing here?"

            "Professor," said Hermione standing, "This is all my fault. Everything that happened today, the in-school suspension, the St. Aristippus boys… everything has been because of me."

            McGonagall's eyes opened in shock as she looked at her favored student, and lifted her head from the desk. "How so, Ms. Granger?"

            Hermione glanced away for a second, licking her lips before starting to explain, "Well, it began that morning when I left early, and Harry followed me, asking for help for an assignment…"

            "That's not unusual," interrupted a snickering Dean.

            "Thomas!" barked McGonagall.

            "Sorry," he apologized, but he didn't look like it.

            Hermione sighed before continuing. "Harry did… something that made me mad in Professor Lupin's class, and because of it, I explained to my friends what happened, skipping the rest of my classes…"

            (("Indeed I did," grinned weakly Hermione. She stole a glance at Lavender and Parvati, whose jaws were almost touching the ground in shock, to Ron, who was laughing with silent laughter with tears running down his face, and to Harry who was staring back at her, a knowing smirk on his face.


            God, no – Hermione's brain went on a total shutdown. Harry was smirking at her, like he knew that his words could have affected her that way. What was she? A bloody Victorian flower that fainted in warm weather? Um, excuse me, she was not.))

            "Ah, that day." Said McGonagall, opening a drawer in her desk. "Afterwards, all of these were found the next day."

            Hermione paled as Professor McGonagall lifted her hand from the drawer, a stack of parchment paper with different colours in her hand. She raised one eyebrow at Hermione before reading a few of them.

            ((Morning Mio, Gin, Vita – Sleep well, I hope. I was the last to receive the note last night; so, I think it's best if I start this off ASAP! Mandatory GG meeting in our dorm at seven tonight – bring homework as not too look conspicuous. Those guys are getting nosier every day, the hounds that they are. Anyway, that's all I have to say. Anything interesting? Add it on! TTYL – love Lav))

            Ginny and Hermione made small squeaking noises at the mention of their nicknames. Alas, McGonagall didn't stop.

"And these are from Professor Snape's classroom, which he had found," she said, before continuing.

((B – I do this with my friends a lot. It's much more private. So, do you fancy Draco? – H…))

Hermione gave a louder squeak, and found herself sinking to the floor, her eyes stuck on something only she could see. Draco blushed a bit in the back of the group, but didn't say anything.

"Y-You have all of them?" sputtered Ginny, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I thought we had gotten rid of them all!"

McGonagall's cool eyes looked up over the paper to the girl.

            "Oh, yes… the House Elves are more than happy to collect any discarded paper around the dorm rooms, but when they found these notes… they gave them to me," she said, her voice clipped.

            "Ah, bugger!" moaned Hermione, her head in her hands. I guess it's time for you to live up to what you did.

            "Now, there is the unfortunate occurrence of Mr. Brussels here arriving and finding his way into Ms. Chang's dorm room. Anyone care to explain?" asked a persistent McGonagall.

            No one spoke.

            "Mr. Brussels? Which of these students helped you?" she tried. Chad, who was sober now, said nothing. "Oh, are you under any sort of wand pack?"

            "Nope," he said, flashing the Professor a smart grin. "I just don't want to say because I made a promise and I want to be expelled."

            McGonagall groaned and sank her own head onto her desk. This was not her day. Instead, she mumbled, "Why do you want to be expelled?"

            "I don't want to march off the same cliff all the other St. Aristippus students are. I want to live my life the way I want. St. Aristippus is a prep school, right? So we're all getting the same treatment and same dreams. I want my own," Chad finished importantly. Ginny clapped at the end of his speech, but stopped shortly thereafter when no one joined her.

            There was silence in the room.


            "It's okay Chad. I know we made the promise, but I'm probably going to get expelled anyway, so I'll just go ahead and say what I did," came Hermione's small voice.

            Cho suddenly screamed, "AHA!!" and pointed a finger at her. "I knew she did it!"

            Hermione shot Cho a nasty look, before taking a deep breath and saying, "I gave Chad two Miltowns."

            The teens of the room snorted, trying to mask their laughs. McGonagall, this time, let her head drop on the desk with a smack!

            Chad grinned sheepishly. "Well, I wanted them…"

            This is not happening, not at all, thought Minerva McGonagall. Why did I ever quit drinking? Merlin, I need a good shot of vodka or rum with coke right about now…

            "Continue, Ms. Granger," said McGonagall in a tired voice, waving her hand with her wand in it. Lazily, the wand emitted a strange sighing sound.

            "Right, Professor. Anyway, Chad told me that he wanted to get expelled, so I had an idea that would, and it worked, right? He's going to get expelled?"

            "Yes, Ms. Granger, he'll be expelled from St. Aristippus, no matter what, even if his Grandfather is on the board."

            "Okay, good. After that, umm… well, I helped him a bit, but he did most on his own."

            "Point taken."

            "Thank you, Professor," smiled Hermione, continuing. "As for WAM…"

            "WAM, Ms. Granger?"

            "Oh, yes," laughed shakily Hermione. "WAM – Witches Against Males. It was our secret group that was consisting of witches… well, against males. It worked out fine, and we did a couple of pranks, and most of the female population was in our group, but it was disbanded before the dance, Professor."

            "Oh, well, thank Merlin for that," mumbled McGonagall. "Continue."

            "Thank you, Professor," continued, as told, Hermione. "Umm… after that, we began planning a prank for tonight, but we called it off when the group was disbanded. That's about it."

            "So, let me get this straight, Ms. Granger," sighed McGonagall. "Mr. Potter did something to make you mad"—

            "More like livid," snickered Ginny, thinking of the poor pillow that Hermione had nearly squeezed into oblivion when she had told everyone that Harry smirked at her.

            "—Livid, then, and you got back at him by creating WAM, which most female witches in the school were members of. You played pranks that were superior to the Weasley twins', and you had one planned for tonight, but you didn't. Instead, you helped Chad Brussels get himself expelled from his school."

            "Yes, Professor," said Hermione with more confidence than she ever had.

            "And how does Mr. Potter, Thomas, Finnigan and Weasley's in-school suspension disappearance come in to play?" she asked, writing all this down on a piece of parchment.

            "Oh," laughed weakly Harry, "We did that on our own."

            "Explain, Mr. Potter."

            "Yes, Professor. Well, you know how we got into the suspension… but afterwards? We felt as if we were needed at the dance, so we used a hologram charm to make replicas of ourselves in the library. Then, while we were walking down the hall, we met up with Draco Malfoy and his two… friends. He told us Ginny might be in trouble, so we went with him to the Quidditch Pitch, where, indeed, Ginny was in trouble."

            "Ms. Weasley, explain."

            "Um… Charles Madison had taken me down to the Quidditch Pitch to, ah… snog," Ginny flushed. "But instead, he had other… sinister things in mind, which, ah… included taking a picture of my… um…"

            "Oh God," interrupted McGonagall, rolling her eyes. "I understand, Ms. Weasley, you don't have to continue."

            "Thank you, but I do. After the picture was taken, Draco, Harry, Ron, Crabbe and Goyle arrived and… beat the five other St. Aristippus boys to a pulp."

            Chad whistled. "Good job, mates, good job! I never liked Charles Madison at all…"

            Vodka… now… please…! Thought McGonagall, as she wrote Chad's dislike for the teen down. "Names of the students attacked, please?"

            "Charles Madison, Nick Adams, Sean Backfield, Peter Walker, and Jason Fisher," the teen chorused.

            "Were their memories Obliverated?" asked McGonagall.

            Draco snapped his fingers. "I knew we forgot something!"

            "Now, out of pure curiosity, why did that slip your mind, Mr. Malfoy?"

            "Well… I was upset, Professor. No one should be treated that way, and that was all I could think about, so all other… I guess, sane thought disappeared. My emotions were too strung out," said Draco, shrugging a bit.

            "Draco Malfoy has feelings?" Cho whispered to herself, though aloud. Everyone in the room shot her a nasty look.

"Is that all that happened this evening, because there still is the Hokey Pokey incident at the dance we need to sort out."

            At this, Chad and Cho choked. "Hokey Pokey?" they gasped out.

            Hermione gave a wry smile. "Me again. Blaise and I made a special punch for the St. Aristippus boys. We hadn't planned on using it, but when we saw that things weren't going nicely… well, we brought the tank out and gave it only to them, not any of the Hogwarts boys."

            "What was in the punch, Ms. Granger?" asked McGonagall.

            "Ah… well, fruit punch," Hermione turned a bit red. She then rushed it out, "You see, because I'm a bit… more studious that others I happen to have a lot of spare time in my summer, and this summer I was bored and my parents had been at a conference for dentists, and I had a small party with my muggle friends and they told me how to, ah…"

            "Ah… what?" broke in Ron, entranced with the story involving Muggles.

            "To… ah, masterfully spike the punch with alcohol so that it's undetected by the initial sniff or taste, though it works fast to intoxicate your system," Hermione rushed out quickly.

            This time, there was no stopping Professor McGonagall as she banged her head against her desk. "My prize student!" she wailed. "Spiking the punch!"

            "Only the St. Aristippus people, though," corrected Seamus, standing up slightly to defend Hermione, "not anyone at Hogwarts."

            "And that makes it better, how, Sherlock?" mumbled Harry. Seamus blushed but sat back down on the floor.

            "Is this all that happened?" asked Professor McGonagall.

            The group nodded, though Cho tried once again to get Hermione in more trouble than she was, but it didn't work.

            "She planned it all! Everything! Attacked me into leaving my date to seduce him! It was she!" Cho spat.

            "Shut up, Cho," called weakly seven voices. When she didn't, Chad placed a hand on her forehead and pushed her down on the floor forcefully.

            With her lips trembling despairingly, McGonagall said, "You will all retire to your common rooms, and Chad, you will come with me to your Quidditch Coach. Then, after arriving in your dorms, you will stay there until tomorrow after when I will come to collect you all one by one to assign you your punishment(s)."

            "Aw…" moaned Ginny and Hermione together, "That bites the hairy bird!"

            Everyone looked at the two oddly, but didn't press the subject. Instead, they sighed dejectedly, but did as they were told. No sense in doing anything now, it would just add to their punishment list already.

            As the Gryffindors went their way, Draco went his, and Cho indignantly went towards the Ravenclaw tower, there was a sullen mood in the air. No one wanted tomorrow to come, because it would certainly bestow upon them the worst day of their life.


            The next afternoon, Saturday, Hermione was slumped in a chair in the common room, playing with a string as she played Cat's Cradle. It was nearly two, and McGonagall hadn't come into their common room yet. Most Gryffindors were in the room, waiting for McGonagall to come and take the students out one by one. When they would arrive, there would either be a party for not being expelled, or many sad consolations as someone left Hogwarts.

            "I wonder what's going to happen," thought aloud Ginny.

            "Well, you're not going to get expelled," sighed Hermione. She made the strings as tight as she could, before Lavender leaned forward and pinched two and flipped them to the outside, making the strings tighter and smaller.

            "Think of it this way, Hermione," said Parvati; "You'll be leaving Hogwarts in a bang."

            "I suppose. I wonder where I could go. Do you think Beauxbatons will take me in?" asked Hermione.

            "No," came a new voice, "Since you are not getting expelled."

            Hermione craned her neck back to see Harry swoop down and plant a kiss on her lips. "Hey Harry."

            The common room was silent.

            "When did this happen?" gasped Ginny.

            "Ah… yesterday," said Harry vaguely.

            "I think we all know that, Harry," came Colin's voice. The room laughed, but it died down as the portrait swung open, revealing Minerva McGonagall, Head of the Gryffindor House.

            "Hermione Granger," she called. Hermione dropped the string of Cat's Cradle and kissed Harry once more on the cheek, before walking purposefully and confidently towards the Professor.

            "Here, Professor," she said in a smooth voice. McGonagall nodded coolly, before motioning her to leave before her.

            As they stepped out of the Common Room, everyone wondered just what was going to happen.


            An hour and a half later, the portrait opened to reveal Hermione. She said nothing as she walked past everyone to stand at the foot of the staircase.

            "Can I have your attention please?" she shouted. The room went quiet. When she was sure she had everyone's attention, she unfolded a piece of paper and began to read off it.

            "Brown, Lavender; Detention for a week with Filch, for being a main part of the WAM committee. Granger, Hermione; in-school suspension for a week from Hogwarts, due to excellent marks and after-school achievements, there will be no expulsion. Patil, Parvati; Will have one detention, with Professor Sprout, for being at one time a member of WAM. And Weasley, Ginny; She will receive one detention with Professor Trelawney, for being at one time a member of WAM," Hermione concluded. "For the boys."

            There was more silence, as the room grew somber.

            "Finnigan, Seamus; He will receive an addition to his in-school suspension, to now include the first two months of your seventh year at Hogwarts. This includes, Potter, Harry; Thomas, Dean; and Weasley, Ron." Hermione closed her eyes and smile graced her lips. As the cheering shook the ceiling, Hermione whistled for everyone's attention.

            "There is more," she revealed. "Don't you want to know what happened to Draco, Blaise, Chad and Cho?"

            "Tell us, tell us!" someone screamed.

            "Well," gossiped Hermione happily to the quiet room, "Draco Malfoy will have detention for the rest of the month, for beating up Charles Madison. Blaise will have detention for a week with McGonagall, and Chad is getting expelled from St. Aristippus, but has been accepted here. As for Cho Chang… well… she just gets detention for one night for pretty much all the rude things she said about me in her interview, after being told to stop more than once. As for Charles Madison, Nick Adams, Sean Backfield, Peter Walker, and Jason Fisher… they're all being expelled from St. Aristippus for what they did to Ginny, and have not been accepted to Hogwarts."

            More cheers went up, as everything got what it deserved, and no one was expelled. Hermione watched everyone with bleary eyes, and even more so Ron who was asking Lavender to reveal where they got all their prank ideas. Hermione was swept into the cheers and hurrahs, when she felt someone slip an arm around her waist.

            "So, are you happy that you're not expelled?" whispered a voice in her ear. A shiver went down Hermione's spine as she leaned against the person.

            "Of course I am. You know I'd rather die than be expelled," Hermione laughed.

            "Well," continued the voice, "I remember that you used that time turner illegally at one time, to help free Sirius."

            "I was told to… so I wouldn't get in trouble," defended Hermione, turning in the person's arms to wrap her own around his neck.

            "But you would've gotten in trouble with the Ministry. Oh, and there was the time before the First Task in the Tournament, when we snuck to an empty classroom to practice spells at night," continued the person. Hermione kissed him on the lips, before mumbling something to him.

            "Too bad that's all we did."

            Harry Potter then turned scarlet, glancing to the side in embarrassment. Hermione laughed and together the two joined the festivities, having a good time, until McGonagall came in to the Common Room, wearing a robe over her nightgown and screaming how it was three in the morning and there would be no hesitation in expulsion now if people didn't go to bed immediately.

            As the party was put to an end, it certainly didn't put an end to the elation in the Gryffindor's hearts, knowing that their own didn't get expelled… though they all found out the next day they had lost four hundred points and were currently at 15 House points.


            At breakfast, the next morning, the Gryffindor table was the loudest. They had every right to be happy, and it showed. No one was in serious trouble, even when the mail came, with red howlers filling most of the sky up.

            Everyone laughed as the screaming voices of parents were drowned out by each other. There was a puff of smoke lingering in the air as all Howlers burst into flames, and as Cho Chang stopped with her friends behind Hermione's seat at the Gryffindor table.

            "Well," she began, "I can see they made a mistake in keeping you in this school."

            "What, Cho?" asked Hermione, surprised. "Are you threatened that I can beat your high marks in school, or is it something else?"

            "Something else, Hermione," snapped Cho, like Hermione has asked if the world was flat. "You got away with drugging my date at the dance, so don't feel bad when something happens to your date at the Yule Dance next year."

            "Ah, in case you haven't noticed, I'm a sixth year. That means you'll be gone next year, Cho," smiled Hermione. "Sorry."

            "Well, I'm not sorry to leave this place and you," she all but sneered. Hermione's eyebrows disappeared into her hairline.

            "Oh, really?"


            Hermione slowly stood, and the voices dropped to a hush in the Great Hall.

            "Here we go," muttered Harry to Ron, who nodded in agreement. Hermione flicked her hair over her shoulder and opened her mouth, her hand grasping her porridge spoon tightly.

            "Well…" she began, before a smile graced her lips. "Up your ziggy with a wawa brush!" Before letting the porridge smack Cho in the chest.

            The ex-WAM girls all began to laugh, understanding the meaning, while the rest of the school laughed at Cho's embarrassment. Cho blushed a tomato red.

            "You're horrible, Hermione! You're such a freak!" she shouted, turning to the teachers at the high table, all who were discussing something. "Professor Dumbledore! Did you see that?"

            Dumbledore raised his head, looking from Hermione to Cho, to Cho's chest and said, "Oh, no, sorry Ms. Chang, I was in the middle of an important meeting. Send it to the House Elves for dry-cleaning."

            Cho emitted a shrill squeak of anger, before turning back to Hermione.

            "Yeah, well, I guess I'll always be a freak then… but you – you will always be a jerk," said Hermione seriously. "Grow up, Cho. The world doesn't revolve around you."

            Cho gave Hermione a look that said, "It doesn't?", but just gave a shriek and stalked out of the Great Hall, her friends fussing about her.

            People began talking again as Hermione sat down, her friends congratulating her on that spectacular performance and handling the argument with class.

            Harry shook his head at Hermione, though smiling. "You are one strange girl."

            "Oh, that's right, Cho said I'm a freak," grinned Hermione.

            "Then you're a fabbity fab fab freak, Mio, 'cause we wouldn't want you any other way!" spoke up Ginny.  

            "Here, here!" came another voice, as others chimed in.

            "To Hermione," said Lavender, standing, and holding her goblet out at her friend. "For livening up all our lives, and for being the freak we all love."

            "To Hermione!" the Gryffindors chorused, as Harry slipped an arm around Hermione's shoulders. A smile graced Hermione's lips, and at that moment, she was sure nothing could get any better than how she felt at that minute… that second…

            Gee, thought Hermione, who'd ever have guessed that everything had started because of some silly note passing?


            So what happens next?

            St. Aristippus Magical School for Boys expelled Charles Madison, Nick Adams, Sean Backfield, Peter Walker, and Jason Fisher. All five wizards later tried to sneak into Gringotts, and are currently spending the rest of their lives in Azkaban, without bail.

            Chad Brussels was expelled also, from Aristippus, but was accepted into Hogwarts. He ended up going into the Ministry, which had been his dream. Though, he didn't escape the 2.5 kids, 4.0 GPA, colonial house, perfect wife, and perfect job cliché. No, instead he married Blaise Zabini, who hassled the Ministry at every chance she got to make equal jobs for witches in the Ministry. Three years later, the bill was passed and witches could join the Ministry in any field they wished, whereas before they had been stuck as receptionists, journalists, doctors and secretaries in the Ministry Heads.

            Lavender Brown ended up going to Paris to further her magical educations. Five years later, after becoming a famous daytime wizard soap star, she met Ron Weasley at a Hogwarts Reunion. The two hit it off after meeting each other, and are still currently dating.

            Ginny Weasley finished her seventh year at Hogwarts at the top of her class, and became valedictorian. She was the first Weasley to do this, and Molly Weasley had bawled her eyes out at the graduation ceremony. While searching for a job in Diagon Alley, Ginny went into Flourish and Blotts, meeting accidentally Draco Malfoy for the first time in two years. The two decided to have something to drink at The Leaky Cauldron, where they soon found soul mates in each other. Ginny would never stop thanking Draco for beating Charles up, and soon after, the two got engaged, married and are now expecting their first child.

            Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan opened up a famous nightclub called The Pyramid, where all famous witches and wizards go. It is a hot spot, and is also the place where the Wizard Awards are held. The two also created the WA, which is like the Muggle Oscars.

            Parvati Patil married Dean Thomas soon after graduation, and they are currently happy parents of two adorable children.

            Cho Chang is spending time in Azkaban, because she helped in the 2005 Gringotts Bank Robbery, which included the aforementioned expelled St. Aristippus men. She is spending life in Azkaban, without bail.

            As for Hermione Granger and Harry Potter, well, they went steady at the end of their sixth year, continued on through their seventh, and became engaged later after graduation. There whereabouts is currently unknown, as they are taking a year off from their jobs to have an extended honeymoon.

            As for WAMWitches Against Males was put down as the largest, shortest witches' right group that consisted purely of teenagers. Today, there is a new leader of the WAMs, though they don't do anything as drastic as Hermione Granger-Potter had when she was in school. Oh no – now they just free really dangerous animals from wizard zoos with the help of a half-giant, Rubeus Hagrid.

            Professor Minerva McGonagall took up drinking shortly after the WAMs graduated, and ever since that fateful incident, has never taken a liking to a student ever since.

            Professor Severus Snape ended up for the rest of his teaching days at Hogwarts chaperoning the students to Hogsmeade and being in charge of all dances. Sad to say, within four years he gave in his resignation and is currently living somewhere in California, USA, where he can get a tan and work on his oily hair, teaching Muggles how to surf.

            The Flat Critters, the band that played at Hogwarts that night, has sold out every concert they toured, and their newest magical CD, "The Hairy Bird", has sold over twenty million copies, most who are part of WAM and the graduates of Hermione's year – for nostalgic purposes, of course…

            As for Hogwarts, the school has never seen anything quite like WAM ever since. But that doesn't mean that they won't in the future…




A/N: [July.20.02] Well… "Passing Notes"… is well… finished. Can you believe it? I had so much fun writing this story… I actually think once I post this chapter I'm going to go downstairs and watch the movie…

Fan tidbit: Tinka's date, who gets more than a little excited, is actually Hayden Christensen – the movie was filled here in Toronto, and that seems to be Hayden's first role.

Loz: Actually, "All I Wanna Do/Strike" is "The Hairy Bird" in Australia. Every place seems to have a different title for the movie…

Holly: Many apologies, but I just thought up the name "Nick Adams". I'm sure there are tons of them out there, anyway…

xo starry nights: Yep, Kirsten Dunst, Gaby Hoffmann, Lynn Redgrave, Heather Matarazzo, Rachael Leigh Cook, Monica Keena, Mathew Lawrence, and a few other rising stars.

Sparkle Tangerine: I hope Chad's explanation to McGonagall clears it up… if not, check back on chapter four when he and Hermione are at the Quidditch Pitch, right after she gives him a Miltown. Miltown: Treats tension, anxiety, and nervousness. Belongs to a class of drugs called tranquilizers. Basically, Hermione mellowed Chad out a little more than she needed to… Here are some side effects caused by Miltowns: slurred speech, severe drowsiness and weakness, trouble breathing, unexplained fever or sore throat, unusual bruising or bleeding, drowsiness, dizziness, clumsiness, vision changes.

Stoneheart: Yah, Harry and Draco should have blasted those evil doers memory, but… I know from experience that when you get pretty upset or emotional, you don't think rationally, and that's what I wanted to try to achieve here. Hope that satisfies your craving for explanations!

To everyone else who has read, reviewed, whatever: Thank you all so much for taking time to read "Passing Notes"! I hope you laughed along with the characters, felt bad when they did, and understood (maybe even a smidgeon) of what they were going through, because hey – we were all teenagers at one time (or maybe are, or going to be!).

~~ Kneazle