She is so beautiful… perfect baby… she has her eyes.
You imprinted. You imprinted on it
On her Leah. She is perfect, she is everything… She is Renesme.
"Leah… wake up…!" her voice is sharp, a vanilla whip in my ear. "It's Renesme…!"
"Gerrof!" I swat her hand away from me, grabbing around myself for anything to smother out her perfect voice and snuff out her pleasant scent.
She huffs before leaving me to lie on the floor, her shoes tapping softly on the floor. I can imagine her looking around at everything, scoffing and sneering at my crappy little apartment with its one mangy brown sofa-it used to be cream-and an ancient TV set. There was also the matter of forty empty bottles of Vodka carpeting the floor…
"Ngh…" I groan. I heft myself up, rubbing my eyes painfully until little balls of light pop up in my vision and when they desist I realize that my guest has cleaned up my mess.
"You are naked" she states, watching me from were she is seated on the kitchen table-brown eyes impolitely raking my form. "And you aren't shaved…"
"Uh…" I am embarrassed but more hung over, my hand sober enough to cover my daisy when all my mind can think is how she was unpetrubed by my nakedness but appalled that I wasn't polite enough to shave for her highness. "How did you even know where to find me?"
"You got sloppy" she states. "Jake decided he was done trying to find you and Seth is busy with Bethany. I decided not to bother anyone and you know how I love doing things on my own of late"
"Right…" I look around my little sleeping area-it had been scattered with ribbons from my destroyed clothing but they must have been swept up by her. The apartment was the perfect containment for the She-Wolf once she busted out, drunk as she would be; as miserable as she always was.
"Hmm" Renesme gave me a speculative look"The floor manager thought you were being murdered and you have an eviction notice for numerous things" she raised a piece of paper, fanning herself with it.
"You read my mail?"
"I read your mail" she smiles a little. "You might want to get dressed…after a shower"
"You might want to stop acting like my mother" I grumbled but I reserve the " when you are a ten year old married brat..." for myself.
"It would mean a great deal to Jacob if you came" she sips the coffee -her face puckering after she swallows.
I wonder if she does that when Jacob asks her to swallow… pinching those beautiful marble features as she did, but then again Jacob would neve ask her to swallow or ask her to do so much as sit on top of him now would he?
"I don't…" she sighs-she seems almost human when she doe this, a sort of sadness gracing her features. The sunglasses are removed and placed on top of the little coffee table. "It was obviously before I was born, whatever happened between you and Jacob and I had no right to behave as I did"
"Nothing happened with Jacob" I try for detached, cold or indifferent but my voice quakes. I raise the coffee up and smell it, look away from her before braving a sip. I love it, its hot-hotter than I am, as it snakes down to my empty stomach.
"But you left"
"No, you have it all wrong" I laugh sarcastically. "You left and I stayed. I stayed and helped him get through your leaving and then you decided to come back? I had to keep the balance didn't I?"
"So it was your turn to leave?" her visage slips and the emotions of a ten year old lock hard in place in her brown eyes; only, it isn't really the emotions of a ten year old child now is it? She is cold, cruel and conceited; these are the only things human about her that I have ever seen... well, and the cleanliness. Vampires loved being clean... like serial killers ought to be.
"Renesme…" I say in mock patience-thinking if we hurry this up she can go back to her mansion with her family, we can leave this stupid girly coffee shop and I can begin my search for a new place to stay.
"Dear sweet Nessie…" I murmur smiling at her.
"Don't patronize me Clearwater" she snaps.
"Your idea of why I left is not what you think. The reason that you were told by Isabella is nothing but a lie or if you want, a cheap truth. I was not in love with Jacob but I cared for him… maybe a little over what was necessary before you were born but it wasn't like with Sam. Some of us 'close to human' beings don't play that whole love at first sight…"
"I don't" I take the cup and let the heat through, down my throat and past the ache in my chest.
"You always making me wonder about it" she breathed, angry and unsatisfied.
I wondered if she would have liked for me to tell her how broken I was because of Jacob Black? Jacob Black could never break me; he was just a disappointment and an experiment for my heart so I could know if I was done with Sam. Unfortunately, I realized I may have been done with Sam but I was not jailed by loneliness and Jacob had seemed for a moment the only cure I had to that.
"You aren't supposed to question the imprint, Idiot" I laugh at her. She pouts, her eyes flash with that anger but I am not afraid of her or her tantrums.
"I wonder of so many things, Leah" she says seriously and I hate that her face flickers with vulnerability. I just want to get drunk, does she know how hard it is for a Wolf to get drunk? it takes concentration and determination and even after achieving the goal, you have to remember that you can't leave the sanctuary of your den, you can't howl or move about too much; you just lie there like a broken down machine with no spares.
"I wonder about you a lot these days" she says, her eyes-eyes I had thought stupid when Jacob had over analyzed them on Bella's face-deep and full of a curious sort of compassion; it looked like she was learning to care outside of her own body.
"I wonder why you can't be this way, the way you are with me now, when everyone else is here…" her eyes are wide and almost... innocent.
"You come up with any answers, Kid?" I ask, hating when my voice pitches.
"I think you wanted to hate me" she says, smiling a little. "But you don't"
"I don't necessarily like you, Spawn"
"I don't necessarily like you too" she says and its the truth but we are both smiling at it.
She takes another sip of her coffee, her wedding ring gleaming on her finger when she raises the cup through the light, to her lips and my heart squeezes painfully; she is wearing it, things are all okay between her and Jacob. I am happy but I am sad, relieved and disappointed.
"Leah…" she says and she does the oddest thing-she reaches for my hand, placing her cooler one on top carefully-wearily-and bombards me with her stupid gift.
She wonders why I left… she wonders why Jacob is immensely sad, feels guilty over it and simultaneously angry with him self. She knows if she asked him about it… he would tell her, but she doesn't want the imprint-coated version.
When she starts realising that Jacob's words, encouragement and careful joking around are all imprint-coated, she wonders some more. She is jealous of how I would fight with Jacob, she is even jealous of the time we got into it physically-too worked up to phase and I ended up with a dislocated jaw and a remorseful Jacob Black hovering over me with raw emotion-an emotion she is certain had been fighting off the imprint tooth and nail when it saw angry tears welling up in my eyes.
She loves him, she wants him… but she wonders. What if the imprint… what if it wasn't there…?
"You are not supposed to wonder!" I hiss, snatching my hand away violently and startling her and two girls seated next to our table.
"Why…?" she whispers.
"You will break him…!" I hiss, leaning on the table and holding her eyes with the desperation in my own eyes. "You will destroy him… he never wanted to phase, you know….!"
"He does it for me?"
"Because you are special!" I say scathingly, my heart pinching, twisting and beating in a painful fast rhythm-Sam never wondered. He never questioned, no one has ever questioned! She shouldn't make me think that I didn't try hard enough with Sam or with him… I am over it!
"I thought about it, in private of course…" she says, her face suddenly looking slightly aged. "I thought that maybe… just maybe… Jacob and I were meant to be as friends. It was more pronounced a thought when I found out mother was… well, had been in love with him, I stored that information for further…"
"You are a married, happily in love young woman" I snarl. "You don't have the luxury of masochism. Go back to your husband and…"
"I am pregnant" she whispers.
"Pregnant?" she repeats, her hand ghosting over her flat stomach under the cashmere cardigan she is wearing. "With Child… I had sex…"
"Right" I lean back in my chair and heave. "You had sex"
"It was awful" she smiles shyly.
"Was this when you returned to your anti-imprint thoughts?" I ask. "When Jacob couldn't deliver…"
"We did it a few more times" she says guiltily, like she is on trial before me. "Always awful. He doesn't like touching me like that, or seeing me naked."
"When you started sprouting boobs, it was all he could think about" I say absently
"Well, now everything is settled" she says . "I feel like we have both been imprisoned by this, Leah"
"By the imprint?"
"He would never say it or think it but seeing me birthed, come on!" she laughs a little crazily. "He saw his wife being birthed…!"
"Keep your voice down, Renesme!" I say sharply and she just rolls her eyes.
"He saw me being birthed" she repeats. "I didn't see him being birthed…"
"Oh, so you want him but he doesn't … I am so confused right now" I groan.
"He loved my mother…" she whispers. "She loved him… he was going to fall for you…"
"And then some idiot named Fate came and fucked it all up?"
"So, you came half way across the world to vent" I ask, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from the pocket of my leather jacket.
"Those things will kill you" a man murmurs in a thick Russian accent, shuffling to our table and taking out a lighter anyway. "Eventually"
"Even then…" I chuckle, balancing the cigarette between my lips and peering up at him. "After 'eventually' I'll still be alive"
"Pretty ladies with a good sense of humour" he laughs, looking over to Renesme who blushes-for the average looking human-and hides behind her menu. He grins at that, lighting my cigarette and pulling a chair to our table.
"Do you mind?" he asks.
"Nessie, do we mind" I laugh, as she shakes her head-they proof of this being that the raised menu covering her face moved with her. "My friend is shy"
"Shy…?" he laughs. "You are too beautiful to be shy"
The shyness was more a result of having limited interaction with any males who weren't Jacob or the pack, or vampire; little miss perfect was more Jasper in the human interaction department.
"But I am sorry" I sigh in fake regret. "We were in the middle of something important"
"Oh" he says disappointed, leaving the chair next to our table. "I will see you around though… when you are less… in the middle…"
He grins, completely missing the little implication his bad English left and salutes us before retreating.
Renesme drops the menu, face still red and glares at me.
"There is only one married woman here so don't give me you Edward death glare!"
"I do not have an Edward…"
"You look like him" I laugh. "Maybe that's why Jake was finding it hard to… deliver"
"You would have thought the imprint would fix that up" she grumbles. "Smoking is bad for babies"
"You've seen a smoking baby?" I ask her grinning.
"No!" she huffs. "In the womb…!"
"Smoking is bad for human babies not whatever is locked in your womb"
"I don't know what it is" she says softly. "I barely feel it"
"I would think the Good Doctor would be all over that…" I eye her suspiciously. "Or is it that you don't want them all over it?"
"When you left... a lot came to light with my family" she looked away from me "Things I cannot discuss with you for Jacob doesn't... he can't know about them. Things are only seeming better now and as you said... he could break"
I was silent, angry; suspicion and betrayal; those emotions locked in my heart; what had she done.
"You fucked Nahuel... didn't you?"
"We don't want to break Jacob Black, do we Leah?" she breathed, her cold mask was back on and her dainty fingers held the cup to her lips but before she sipped that cup; those teeth flashed ever so threateningly. "Because I certainly don't want to break the father of my child"
AUTHORS NOTE: Okay, if you had read this before you will note the tone has changed slightly but most of the story and plotline will be the same. xx review!