IDEA :: Bella Heads to La Push Beach For the Day .. Only To Meet A Dark Haired, Russet Skin-Colored, GOD... Does Romance Bloom? Or Do The Monsters Of Her Past Prevent Her From Seeing The Truth? That In the End, It's not About What You Love .. It's who you Love. Can She Forgive & Move On, or Will the Memories of Edward Tear Her Apart For the Last Time?
AN: Bella Didn't Go Cliff Diving and Volterra Never Happened; Edward Is Still Gone…Not An EXB Fic!
Just Let Go, I'll catch you
She drove the 15 miles out to the reservation like she had been doing every day since he left. Her old truck sputtered and caught as the drive took even more years out of its life. She sighed helplessly.
"Come on," she coaxed softly. "Just a few more miles. That's all I'm asking…" She knew it was a lie. She said that every time her truck decided to be a bitch. And then, she saw it: La Push Beach. She remembered bitterly when she and her now ex best friend had walked alongside the shore and he told her about the old Quileute legends. They were werewolves. He hadn't believed it, but she just knew it was true. As if she didn't need any of that already. She attracted the supernatural like it was an everyday thing. But then again, it probably was.
Sighing once more, she turned the ancient truck off, taking the key out of the ignition and began to walk towards the water. She didn't know why but being here calmed her hurting heart. It was like she was supposed to be here.
"Right, Bella," she commented aloud, hopping up onto a fallen branch. The decrepit log shook beneath her and she let out a startled gasp, her arms flailing out to try and keep her balance. "Whew, that was cl-…Argh!" She let out a surprised scream as the bark she had stepped on broke.
As she began to fall she felt, for a brief moment, happiness. She wouldn't have to live with these memories. Something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye and she turned towards it, sending her body in a different direction. She glanced down at the patch of jagged rocks below her and closed her eyes, waiting for the fatal blow. What she felt, however, was something warm and big that smelt masculine.
"Are you all right?" A deep voice asks and she opens her eyes, visibly balking at how close the hazel eyes are to her face. A momentary flush begins to creep into her cheeks but she shook her head to get rid of the feeling.
"Th-Thanks," she mumbles, pushing against his hot shoulders into a standing position. He keeps his hands on her hips as he stands up straight. He lets go of her and she shivers at the loss of heat, trying not to notice his sculpted, bronze chest. She swallowed nervously.
"You're Jake's friend, Bella?" He asks and she starts to nod but shakes her head.
"I used to be his friend. But, he decided to blow me off. Just like everyone else…" A wave of sadness shot through her and she grimaces, clenching her jaw as she gazes out at the ocean.
"Hey," he says softly, and his voice makes her look back at him. "If it's any consolation, I'd never blow you off…Well, see ya," he says and she stands there mutely, watching him walk away. She was sure her facial expression would be amusing but she could only gawk at his retreating figure. Because he was shirtless…In this weather…With an amazing body. She couldn't believe it.
Swallowing once more, after he'd disappeared down the road, she wondered if it would be worth it to continue her walk, or to just go home. An overwhelming sense of fatigue settled within her and she didn't know if it was from her fall from earlier or because reality was starting to set in. He left her, she knew that. So, why couldn't she move on like he did?
"Because there is nothing else," she whispers to no one, standing beside the water, watching as the waves crashed around her and water leaked onto and in her shoes. Each time the water moved back out, she took a step deeper in. There always was something hypnotic about water…
Before she realized it, she was already waist deep into the freezing water and her teeth were chattering and her heart was racing. But every so often she would take another step, far past caring.
"What the hell are you doing, trying to get yourself killed?" She gasped and turned around towards the voice, her jacket getting more wet. She met the hostile eyes of none other than her ex best friend…Jacob Raymond Black. Immediately, her eyes narrowed into a glare and she clenched her jaw tightly.
"Well," she began angrily, "I can't see why you'd mind." She gave him a harsh appraisal which quickly turned to shock. His once shimmering onyx, shoulder length, hair was now in a cropped crew cut of sorts. His muscled body was more pronounced and he had also grown at least a foot. But that wasn't what caught her attention. The black tribal tattoo that glimmered on his right shoulder stared at her, mocking her. She cocked her head to the side.
"Get the hell out of the water, Bella!" He yells and she shakes her head.
"Why should I?" She yells back, her heart breaking again. The one person she thought would always be there for her…And he'd been lying to her. "You're the one who left me, remember? You're the one who ignored me for three weeks! You're the one who joined Sam's cult!" She couldn't let on that she knew about them being wolves…She guessed it was supposed to be a secret.
"You know what? Sam's trying to help me! Now, get your ass out of the water!" His body started to faintly vibrate and she just stared at him.
"You can't boss me around, Jake," she mumbled, knowing he could hear her. "Why are you doing this to me?" She had to know.
"Bella," he began angrily, "get out of the water." The look he gave her could have frozen the sea. A shiver coursed through her and she shook her head, tears blurring her vision. As if on cue, rain started to fall around them, mixing with her tears. "Now!" He screeched. She visibly jumped and she could see that his shaking was worse. And yet, she made no move to get out. "Dammit, Bella!" He yelled and stalked into the waves, splashing water as he went. As he got closer, she tried to back up, momentarily forgetting she was in water. He grabbed her around the waist and began pulling her to shore. She started struggling immediately, to no avail.
"Jake, let me go…Jake...Jacob!" She tried to claw at his hands but he only held on tighter. She began to kick and scream at him, digging her nails into every piece of flesh that she could. He gripped her hands and thrust her around so that she was in a standing position in front of him. He shook her violently, his monstrous, and hot, hands tightening around her wrists. "Let go of me!" She screeched at him, trying to pull her hands out of his grip. But he wouldn't budge.
"No!" He yelled back, shaking her into silence. "Shut up and listen to me! Do you know how stupid you are? Trying to get yourself killed when Charlie needs you, over a stupid guy? What's wrong with you? You're not the Bella I remember!" With each word, his shaking grew worse and she now tried to get away from him in fear, her anger mingled in.
"Why can't you let me live my own life?" She screamed at him, furiously trying to pry her hands free. "It's not my fault that you decided to become such an asshole and ditch me for Sam! How was I supposed to know that one minute I have two amazing guys in my life and the next that they'd just fucking leave me? Huh?" By now, her body was soaked and she stood there with Jake's hands wrapped around her wrists. "Let. Me. Go," she continued, wrenching her hands free finally. Shaking her head, and rubbing her wrists, she turned to walk away.
"I always wondered why you would pick him over anyone else," he commented bitterly. "Why Bella Swan is too good for all the other guys. You're such a tease," he spat at her, making her freeze. "You make us all feel like we have a chance, but then you go right around and pick him. But then you still make us feel like we have a chance, what with your careless touches and smiles and when you blush. You know what?" He inquired, now standing in front of her, "I'm glad he left, and you wanna know why? Because now you know what it feels like to have the person you want turn you down. You're no better than the re-…" His voice was cut short by the force of her slap.
"Fuck you, Jacob," she whispered sadly. His whole body began to quiver and shake and with a vicious fury, he grabbed her again, squeezing her arms hard enough to cause a cry of pain to escape from her lips. "Ahhh," she whimpered. "You're hurting me, let go!"
"Jacob!" A stern male voice called out and they both turned to look at him. Sam Uley. "That's enough!" She watched the muscles in Jake's jaw twitch and he squeezed her arms again, making her wince. "I said," he continued, stepping closer, "that's enough."
Turning back to her, Jacob pushed her back, releasing his hold on her. She stumbled and fell, landing on her butt onto the sand. She gaped up at Jake and let out a low sob. He gave her a seething look before retreating into the trees. Sam watched him leave before coming over to her. She tried to back away from him but gave up when she saw it was useless.
"Are you hurt?" He asked softly, motioning towards her wrists. He offered a hand when she didn't respond and she took it gingerly, allowing him to help her up.
"Thanks, I guess," she mumbled, seeing the tattoo of a wolf on his right shoulder as well. He noticed her looking at it and furrowed his brow.
"You know, don't you?" He asked and she grimaced and nodded.
"But don't tell him," she pleaded. "He doesn't need to know. I'm good at keeping secrets…" She knew that she didn't need to tell him whose secrets. He nodded at her.
"I should go check on him," he supplied and made sure she was fine before turning to jog into the woods. It didn't occur until she was half way home that he was naked. And that Jake was only in a pair of cutoffs without any shoes. A scoff escaped and she looked down at the bruises forming around her wrists. She waited until she got home to let a few solitary tears fall. Charlie wouldn't be home, seeing as it was his monthly fishing trip with Billy.
She walked up the old brick stairs to the old porch and unlocked the old wooden door, climbing inside and shutting it behind her. She made her way upstairs and into her bathroom where she stripped carefully and jumped into the warm spray from the shower. She washed her hair with her new shampoo that spelled like peaches instead of strawberries, and shaved with her new razor. She accidentally slipped and cut open her leg with the razor.
Swallowing, she watched the blood bead around the cut and drip down her leg. Along with a faint nausea came a startling reaction: complete numbness. With fascination, she did it again, but on purpose. When she felt the same numbness, she sighed in pleasure, letting her eyes close and her head fall back to rest against the shower wall. The water continued to cascade around her body and she stood there until the warm water started to grow cool.
When she was lying down in her bed to try and sleep, she thought about the strange boy she had seen earlier. She didn't understand why she had reacted the way she had, or why she was even thinking about him. Something about him made her heart squeeze painfully. She rolled onto her back, looking at her ceiling. He'd been gone for 8 months and 13 days today. She'd managed to graduate early and without his family's pretty bank account, she had no money for college and no hopes for a prospective future.
She didn't understand why they all had to leave. Even Alice who was supposed to be her best friend just left, without saying goodbye. Maybe Laurent was right…How much could she have meant to them if they just left her here? A sob escaped her parted lips as she thought about the life she would never have, about the family she would never belong to, and about the future that was closed off to her now.
There'd be no forever, no undying love…Nothing. She didn't even have a single photo of him. She didn't actually know if she wanted one. Truthfully, she had often wondered if it would be worse having a physical reminder of the love she had lost because of her stupidity. A grimace crossed her features as she admitted the truth. She made them leave. It was her fault that he couldn't control himself better, that Jasper had tried to attack her, that James had hunted her, and that he left her. And she resented herself for it. Was she ever going to be good enough? She snorted as she recalled what Jake had said to her earlier…
"I always wondered why you would pick him over anyone else. Why Bella Swan is too good for all the other guys. You're such a tease! You make us all feel like we have a chance, but then you go right around and pick him. But then you still make us feel like we have a chance, what with your careless touches and smiles and when you blush. You know what? I'm glad he left, and you wanna know why? Because now you know what it feels like to have the person you want turn you down…"
Could it really be so? Could she really be a…A tease? No…It wasn't possible…Right?
Sighing, she turned to look at the clock, seeing that it was only 11:45. With a groan, she sat up and looked around her room before clicking on the bedside lamp and digging around for her socks and shoes. She donned her jacket and turned off the light, grabbing her keys as well and a blanket. She found an old electric lantern in the hall closet and checked the batteries in it before, satisfied, she gathered her things into a small bag and exited the house.
"I'm crazy for doing this," she mumbled as she started the old pickup and backed out of the driveway, heading towards La Push. She drove until she got to the beach, the rain having stopped a couple hours ago. She sat in her truck for about 15 minutes before she mustered up the courage to exit the cab and begin her late night walk down the shoreline. She found the perfect spot beside a fallen tree that had numerous initials carved in its surface. A ghost of a smile whispered across her lips as she gently stroked the forgotten names. Some had X's through them and others had hearts around them. And yet each initial had meaning to it. Each one told a story.
She laid out the blanket and placed the lantern beside her. As she lay down to watch the stars she saw a set of initials that made her heart stop: LC & SU 4ever3. Her breath caught as she realized whose initials they were.
"Leah…Clearwater and…Sam…Uley? No way," she whispered. But the faint X across their names just proved it. She knew the story of Sam and Leah, of how he just disappeared for a couple of weeks and when he returned, he dumped Leah for her cousin, Emily. She knew enough about the Quileutes and their wolf heritage to know that there was a thing called imprinting, where suddenly there is a single person holding you to the earth. She wondered if Emily was Sam's imprint…
Sighing, she rolled onto her back and gazed into the stars, seeing a few familiar constellations.
"I bet you could name them all," she whispered sadly, and closed her eyes on a wave of sadness. She covered her face with her hands before sitting up and hugging her knees to her chest, resting her head on her knees and sobbing. The pain just seemed to grow and grow and she didn't know how to stop it. Neither of her best friends cared about her, the love of her life had left her, and she had no future in sight. She sat in the same position until dawn, when she looked to her right and saw the beginnings of a sunrise. And with it she saw the cliff face where she had seen Sam and the other wolves cliff diving with Jake.
An idea, a completely crazy idea, hit her and she stood up, wiping the tears off of her face. Sniffling harshly, she removed her jacket and boots, standing in nothing but her tank top, sweats, and socks. She placed her car keys inside her coat pocket and grabbed a stick, writing a message into the wet sand.
I LOVED YOU…WAS I NOT GOOD ENOUGH? YOU WANTED ME TO BE HUMAN…I'LL SHOW YOU…
She drew an arrow pointing towards the cliff and stabbed the stick into the ground, the messy wood giving her splinters. Not that it mattered. With a last look at her message, she faced the cliffs, watching the vicious waves slapping against them, sending spray into the air and began to walk towards them, determined to prove to him how human she could be. After all, what did she have left to lose?
She stood staring out at the Pacific, the wind blowing her hair out behind her like in some movie. But, unfortunately, this wasn't a movie, this was reality. And unlike all the heroines in movies, she knew she wouldn't have a happy ending. She moved towards the edge, the tips of her toes hanging off.
"You promised that it'd be like you never existed…You told me that I'd soon forget you…But did you really mean that soon you'd forget me?" Her voice grew thick with tears. "Because E-Edward," the name ripped a new tear in her heart, "I can't forget you. You're all I am. You wanted me to be human!" She yelled into the sky. "You wanted me to experience life! To LIVE!" She spat the word with disgust. "Well, I'll show you just how human I can be! Will that make you love me? Huh, will it?" Her screams grew hoarse and the tears soon made it impossible to even breathe properly. "W-Watch me b-be human for y-you…" Sobs overtook her body and as she took that final step, a voice made her body freeze.
"Don't do it," begged a masculine voice. She turned her head and gasped when she saw the last person she ever expected…
Blah, cliffy…Lemme know if I should make this a two-shot or an actual story ^_^ .. Thanx Bunches (( :