So, I Started Listening To A Song From The Breaking Dawn Part 1 Soundtrack And it Got Meh Thinking…So, I Am going To Try And Write To Try And Make Up For Meh Absence…
Disclaimer: I Do NOT Own Anything Except This idea. Everything is Still Stephenie Meyer's…
Just let Go, I'll Catch You
There comes a time in every person's life when they begin to wonder if the choices they've made were the right ones, if they are meant to follow a certain path. He lied in his bed, listening to her even breathing as she slept, tucked into his arms. He glanced down at her bandaged arm and stomach, clenching his teeth tightly as memories of what had happened hours ago swarmed his head.
He hated Black. He couldn't stand the fucking sight of him. But he knew that he had once held a special place in the lee—Bella's heart. A grimace crossed his face as he thought of his imprint that was still sleeping peacefully. He looked at her, his eyes sweeping over her pale face, her high cheekbones that were currently flushed with sleep. Her hair was strewn about his pillow and bed and he could care less. She was even more beautiful when she slept, which he noticed was not very much anymore.
There was something fragile about her, something he knew he could never touch. She snuggled her face deeper into his chest and smiled, breathing in deeply. His heart began to race quietly as her fingers lightly roamed across him. He touched her cheek hesitantly and she opened her eyes, not seeing him yet, only her bandages. Gasping she tried to sit up, but he pulled her back down gently; she met his troubled eyes.
"Hey," she croaked softly, her voice heavy with sleep. A swell of anger consumed him then.
"Hey," he replied back, stroking her cheek. She met his eyes and flinched slightly.
"What's wrong?" she whispered and he clenched his jaw.
"I thought I'd lost you," he bit out and she flinched. He tightened his arm as he reached his hand down to cup her face.
"You could never lose me," she said softly and his heart fluttered for a second before reality crushed it. She must have seen the look in his eyes for she bit her lip and looked down at his chest, her eyes cloudy.
"You love him," he stated after a minute of silence. She did not look up at him but lay there quietly. He watched her face quietly, his anger and hurt boiling in his blood. What did you expect? Her to forget about him? You're nothing to her…Realize it. She will never love you. He got up and laid her on the bed, walking over to clean up a bit. She was watching him, but he did not turn around.
"P-Paul," she began sorrowful.
"No, Bella. Trying to explain your feelings for that…Leech," he stopped to take a calming breath. "I honestly don't want to hear it. I can see that you want me, yes, but you can never care for me or love me, as I do you. And that's fine," he hastened to add and he picked up a shirt off the floor, cradling it in his hands. "But I don't want to hear anything about how you love him, and are waiting for them to come back. I know you are, Bella," he added when she tried to speak. She flushed and looked down. Seeing that flush only made his pain worse.
"You don't understand," she said and he snorted.
"Understand? What is there to understand, Bella? You love him, you want him, and you are waiting for him. I know that, I see that, I get that. But goddammit, don't you ever think of anyone besides yourself? You couldn't even tell that Black was dying to be with you, or get in your pants at least," he amended bitterly. Her jaw dropped and she flushed. Good, he thought. She bit her lip and looked down, drawing circles into his bedspread. It would smell like her permanently. His heart lurched at the thought.
"You know as well as I do that you will always love the leech, but yet you insist on stringing me and Black along." He paused to look down at his feet, hardening his heart like always. When he looked up, his face betrayed no emotions. "Don't come to La Push again. At least until you can figure out what you want. I've waited for you for over eight months, Bella. I don't know how much longer I can wait. I'll give you until the end of the week. And if you still can't decide, we're going to see Old Quil and that's that." He heard her heart start pounding within her chest and although it killed him, he forced himself not to react.
He stood staring at the wall, dozens or emotions pouring through him like a summer storm. He didn't want to feel like this anymore. He hated the helplessness he felt when with her. He hated how he wasn't good enough for her. What was it Black had said? He wasn't the "right kind of monster" for her…Yea, that pretty much summed it up.
She was slowly becoming everything to him, but she still felt only for the leech. After how long he had hid his feelings for her, how much he had told her, and how much he loved he…It all seemed like a waste now. He glanced at her, watched her brows furrowed as if she was deep in thought. He saw her shake her head and sigh, closing her eyes against some stray thought. How beautiful she was to him…Forget her. You know she is just using you; they all do. Remember what happened with your mom? She used you for years, kept you locked away. All women do is use people. That's all she's going to do.
With a fragile shell encasing his heart, he walked over to her, offering a hand to help her up. He wouldn't look her in the eyes as he walked her out to her truck and helped her in. His heart ached to sweep her up into his arms and hold on tight, never letting her leave. But his mind, the more rational part of him, told him this was for the best. He walked up onto his porch, waiting for her to start the truck. When she focused on turning the key, he went inside, closing the door with a soft click.
He heard her small laugh and felt her sadness at him not being on the porch. He leaned against the wall and listened to her heart, feeling every little stab of pain she felt, hating himself, the situation, and life. For the thousandth time, he wondered why she was supposed to be his mate for the rest of his life. She followed vampires for Christ' sake! Everything that had happened today swarmed through his head, all the way to when he saw her this morning…
He was watching her like always, hidden from prying eyes by the thick forest. She was pale and had heavier bags under her eyes than usual. His heart leapt when he saw her, however. She stopped and looked around, as if looking for someone. His heart gave a lurch. Could she see him? She shook her head and walked to her truck. He came out of the trees and came up behind her. She let out a scream and dropped her keys before calming when she saw it was him.
"Sorry," he said softly, bending down to pick up her keys. "Going somewhere?" He asked, smiling inwardly. She blushed and nodded.
"I-I was head to…La Push," she amended quietly, biting her lip. He smiled at her and he heard her heart accelerate and felt her hands shake slightly. A small amount of fear coursed through her at the emotion. He wondered if she had ever felt desire before in her life. Her eyes darted down to his lips and he stepped closer to her, feeling the same hunger and need.
She glanced up at him and gasped at the hunger his eyes betrayed. He watched her lips part and her gasp for breath, his eyes narrowing slightly.
"You want me," he said gently, seeing her gasp as she placed her hands on his chest. She was always so cold, but her hands were soft and dainty. A low growl of pleasure started to form in his chest from her hands. She must have felt it because she lowered them and pulled away. "I would never hurt you," he spoke softly and she could only nod. "Hey," he grabbed her chin and tilted her head up to look at him, making her gasp. "I promise. I have never meant to hurt you…Ever. That's one of the last things I ever want." She bit her lip and he couldn't take it anymore. He bent down and pressed a soft kiss at the corner of her mouth, earning another gasp. He started to pull back when she shocked him by wrapping an arm around his neck, effectively pulling him down.
"Kiss me?" She asked pleadingly. His hands contracted where they rested on her hips and her heart jumped.
"Bella…" Her name died on his lips as he bent down to capture her lips in a smoldering kiss. He relented when he felt her stiffen and gave her slow and gentle kisses, the world around him disappearing. She soon melted against him. "Atta girl," he said appreciatively. She kissed him with intent but he pulled back making her groan. "No more of that. I don't want to give your neighbors a show." At that comment she pulled completely away from him. The immediate coldness on his flesh hurt him. She got in the driver's side and he got into the passenger's side, leaning his arm over the seat. He watched her struggle to put the key in, a small smile crossing his face.
"What?" She snapped angrily and he bit back a laugh. He kept his eyes on her the entire drive and she kept biting her lip in concentration. He wondered if he affected her as much as she affected him. He decided to test that theory. Hesitantly, he placed his hand on her thigh, effectively making her jerk the wheel. "Keep doing that and your ass is going to be walking," she threatened. He laughed joyously.
"You're not the same girl you once were, Miss Swan," he said lowly. She glanced at him and something in his expression excited her, made her nervous. She pulled the truck over and proceeded to get out of the truck. He got out and met her beside it, kissing her as if he'd die to have her. Instantly, he felt himself getting aroused to her. Their kiss was hot passionate, all lips and teeth. He pulled her tight against him so she could feel his arousal for her. She returned by moaning and pressing against him. Before things went too far, he pulled away so fast she had no time to react.
He had his back to her, his breathing heavy. He stayed like that for a few minutes before he was under control again.
"Sorry for that. You get under my skin, baby," he said, seeing her smile at the endearment. They got back in the truck, with him at the wheel this time. He tucked her under his arm, his inner wolf singing within him. He felt alive and free for the first time since the ordeal began. He heard her sigh happily and smile as she listened to his heartbeat.
He wondered bitterly, though, if this was what she really wanted. He knew from her nightmares that she dreamt of the leech and his family. He hated them for what they did not only to her, but himself and all of his friends. No one deserved their fate, but it was up to them to protect the humans from the leeches, at any cost. But could he destroy her if she ever decided to become one? His heart nearly ripped inside him at the thought. No, he knew he could never hurt her, in any way. No matter what she decided. He felt her eyes on him and looked down at her, feeling love so strong it stopped his breath short. She watched him for a moment more before looking out at the landscape, breathing in the pristine salt air. She felt at peace, he gathered from her emotions.
"Are you okay?" He asked her, startling her. She jumped.
"Y-yes," she answered after a moment. Her voice sounded uncertain to even his own ears and she furrowed her brow. He glanced up to see that they were nearing Old Quil's. His arm tightened around hers and he slowed the truck down as they passed in front of the small house.
"Tell me and we'll get this fixed," he spoke so quietly he wasn't sure she had heard him. Her heart lurched again. She sat up and looked at him. Her scrutiny was disturbing him. He knew his face was betraying some of the things he was feeling, but he hoped not all. He clenched his jaw as a slight tremble took over his features.
"You're always pushing me away," she commented. His head whipped around to look at her, his eyes blazing.
"Because you've left me no choice!" He growled viciously. He glared at her hatefully and got out of the truck, slamming his door closed as he ran his hands through his hair trying to calm himself down. He heard her get out of the truck as well and almost screamed. Did she have a death wish that badly? He turned towards her and shook his head. "Don't," he warned, his whole body vibrating. She shook her head and kept coming.
"Y-You have to stop this," she reasoned, her voice oddly calm despite the quickening of her heart. He smelled the air and smelt almost every emotion possible except the most reasonable: fear. She wasn't afraid of him, he realized.
"Stay away from me!" He yelled at her. "I don't want to hurt you!" The vibrations were getting steadily worse and he could sense the entire pack lingering on the edges, waiting for him to snap. Rain that he didn't realize was falling slowly cooled his heated flesh, sizzling as it hit him. It picked up harder and within moments they were both soaked. Just as she was within touching distance, a voice interrupted her procession.
"Bella, back off." Black. He growled at him, too low for Bella to hear. Black was glaring at them, and he watched Bella turn towards Black with a glare of her own. She tilted her chin up at him and spoke with authority.
"Jacob," she began and he could tell she was nervous, "this does not concern you. Go home." He watched Black's nostrils flare and his eyes narrow.
"I'm not going to tell you again," he warned but she stood firm. He was proud of her, despite his pain and his anger. His wolf was dying to break free, to release some of his pent up anger. But he couldn't change in front of her.
"Tell me what? How much you love me? How good we would be together? How much of a tease I am? Huh?!" Her voice grew in anger and Jacob took a step towards her, as did he. He kept his eyes on Jacob the entire time.
"Lahote, get the Hell away from her," Black tried to order, only pissing him off further. Before he realized what was happening, she had marched up to Black and slapped him across the face. His heart stopped in his chest as he saw Black changing a split second before she did. She reached up to protect her face and her screams shattered his resolve. He saw the blood and changed himself, launching at Black. He stayed in front of Bella the entire time as Sam and the rest of the pack shifted. He was out for blood and Black's was the first on the menu.
ENOUGH! Sam called to all of them, and they all stopped to watch him. You're behaving like a pack of rabid DOGS! Jacob, stand down, now. Paul, take care of Bella. They all shifted back by then and he was still reeling. He hated Black, despised him even.
"Don't fucking touch me, Black," he heard Bella growl and turned to see Jacob with his arm on her. He growled. Bella ripped her arm away from Black and he stepped away. She looked up into his eyes and gasped, as she saw the blood on him. There was blood mixing with the sand and he worried for her. But she ran over to him, her heart hammering with worry. "P-Paul, are you o-okay? Oh my Gosh, please be okay! Paul?" She took his face in her hands and was breathing heavily as she made him look at her. He gave her a small smile and nodded, feeling loved for the first time in so long. She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him tightly, and he breathed her scent in, calming him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and breathed her in. He had never felt more at peace.
When he pulled back, however, she swayed in his arms. He looked down to see that he was covered in her blood that was still seeping out of her.
"Paul," Old Quil called to him. He looked over at the old man. "Bring her to me," he ordered and he nodded, picking her up gently to carry her into the house. He looked down at her face, his worry prevalent. She started to say something to him.
"P-Paul…I…I'm sorry…" she whispered before unconsciousness took over. He laid her onto the couch and shook with fear as Old Quil assessed her wounds.
"These are going to leave nasty scars," he said gently, confirming his worst fear. He closed his eyes painfully.
"It will be alright, Paul." He looked up at Emily who had come over during the commotion. She had suffered her own wounds at the hands of the wolves and her scars were harder to hide. "She will be alright." He nodded, his vision going cloudy. She gave him a hug and he let the tears escape him. He would only allow himself these tears, nothing more. He had to be strong for Bella.
Sniffling, he pulled back and Emily wiped away his tears. She was the closest thing to a mom he had ever had and he loved her. He gave her a small smile and turned his attention to Old Quil as he cleaned the wounds and stitched Bella up.
They made it back to his house where he laid her on the bed and watched her sleep…
Back in reality, he listened as she got the truck started. It was fighting to stay alive and when he heard the famous pop of the engine, he allowed himself a small smile. He hoped she would come in, but she didn't.
"Son of a bitch!" He heard her yell and he let out a small laugh, leaning his head back. He heard something hit the window and felt her small stab of pain. She let out a sob and he still stood where he was. He listened to her breathing for a few minutes until she got out of the truck and slammed the door closed. His heart leapt at the idea that she might come inside, but he heard the crunch of her shoes as she walked up the road. He slid down the wall, his feet coming out from underneath him as he shook with sadness.
She was his everything and she was too stubborn and hung up on the damned leech to care about anyone or anything else. Sure, he'd had his own fair share of exes and heartaches, but nothing could ever compare to the pain he now felt. His heart was burning inside his chest and he squeezed his eyes shut in an effort to make it stop.
Ever since they left, she had been a hollow shell, a mirage of the girl she used to be. Of course nowadays she was full of fire and had a sharp mouth on her, but she was the same broken shell that she was 8 months ago. He didn't know how to help her. He even started to doubt that he could help her. Shaking his head, he wondered when he ever even thought he could. He was nothing…Worthless. No one would ever be able to accept or love him…Except maybe the pack, but that was a different kind of acceptance. He was pretty much an Omega half the time, and the other, accused of trying to butter up and be Sam's Beta.
A bitter laugh escapes him as he stares at the wall opposite him. Nothing he ever did sufficed to anyone. He tried to be nice and it got shoved in his face. He hated the world and everything in it, but as long as she was still his imprint, he had something worth living for.
Then, as if a switch exploded in his head, he felt it: her epiphany. He heard her quickened breath and her fast but uneven footfalls as she ran back to his house.
He got up, faster than he even thought possible, and threw open the door right as she landed on the porch. She launched herself into his arms and he caught her as tight as he could without hurting her. She wrapped her arms and legs around him tightly, sobbing into his neck. He fell to the ground, holding her against him as his own tears poured from his eyes. She came back…She came back…She came back…
Just then, she pulled back and kissed him with so much passion, he thought he'd die. He kissed her back equally, not knowing whose tongue was whose, where her lips began and his ended. She pulled back after a few moments and her chest was heaving with passion.
"P-Paul," she began, out of breath. He swallowed hard. "I want to stay with you…" She finished and a huge smile broke out across his face. His heart was pounding in his head and his inner wolf was singing with triumph. He kissed her once more, earning a small moan from the back of her throat. He felt the pack around them watching, but he didn't care, only moving to take Bella inside when the rain stopped falling and the pack's catcalls had quieted.
He brought her in the house and kissed her throughout the night, not taking it any farther. And when she fell asleep in his arms, he just knew that everything had to be okay. He knew it would be a long siege, but in the end…The only thing that mattered was that she was his, whether she realized it or not, and that she was choosing to stay with him.
With that comfort in his mind, he started to fall asleep with his arms around his imprint, until a pulling in the back of his mind, and a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, alerted him that all was not as at peace as he had hoped. Danger was still out there.
"Do not fret, my love," he whispered, looking out at the night sky. "Just let go and I swear I'll catch you. I'll protect you with everything in me, with every breath in my body. I love you, Bella…" he whispered again and she mumbled something in her sleep back to him. Smiling softly, he closed his eyes, sleep overtaking him. And for once, both slept through the night, safe in each other's arms.
Well, There You Go ! Another Chapter Finished And To be Uploaded *insert big heart* I Have Taken A Great Many Weeks And Months to Start, Plot, Write, And Finish This Chapter . I have a Lot In Store For These Two ! Their Journey Does not End Here! Although, I promise I Will Try to be Better About Updating My Stories! This is My Main Main Priority At the Moment, With My "Do it Yourself Vampire Academy My Version," In A Close Second. After That, I Am Currently Rewriting And Revising All of My Other Stories, So be ON The Lookout For Updates on Those. I Love You All!