Hey everyone! Welcome to the beginning of The Trouble With Clones. I spent about three hours writing/editing this, so I really hope you enjoy it. Reviews and characters for cameo appearances needed. More is to come soon. Typos Corrected.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Trouble With Clones DLC pack, the direct script or the game.
Chapter Six: Weird Science
Things were running smoothly in the Saints HQ: Kinzie was able to make the purple earpiece every Saint now has, Shaundi has calmed down dramatically and all was chatting away. But the Boss and Amber were at the Safeword stronghold; they had a late night and crashed there. She walked up to Nathan wearing different clothing; unbuttoned Crooks & Castles Varsity Jacket, revealing a black lace bra underneath, black Lazy Day Capris and Heyday Super Shift sneakers. He changed attire too; Crooks & Castles Varsity Jacket, black Gym Pants and Heyday Super Shift sneakers too. They both agreed today would be the day they matched. And boy, did it felt good.
She swirled the ice cold refreshment gently with her wrist, before resting the rim on her peachy lips and tilted it, making the liquid slip down her parched throat. "What to do now," she heard her boyfriend say. Putting the can down on the coffee table in front of them, she responded "We can plan on how to take down SWAG. We need to find their location... locations and put an end to this. They're gone and the city's ours again."
A soft hand rose to her cheek and she turned to him. "This is why I love you. It's like you read my mind." Amber smiled and leaned in, kissing him delicately on his lips and tilting her head to the side. They broke free and she ran her hand through his dark hair. "Love you too." Nathan's phone interrupted their moment and he groaned, touching a button on his new earpiece. "Hello?"
"You don't know me, but I'm your biggest fan! And I... Well, I need your help. Do you know Smiling Jack's Diner? Meet me there and I'll explain everything." The man's voice was very wet and sounded like he hasn't hit puberty yet. The caller hung up and the Boss' phone cut the line automatically and he stood up. "What's up, Nate?" she said.
"Some boy called, saying he needs help."
She stood up too, walked to the human-sized picture of the Boss aiming a gun at logically at her-technically at the camera- and pressed a button. The canvas slid up and revealed the array of weapons in sight. He tilted his head in astonishment as she grabbed a pair of D4TH Blossoms for herself, a pair of Cyber Blasters and a pair of K-8 Krukovs. She holstered the Blossoms and gave the digitalised guns to the man next to her, holding the assaults in her hands in which he took one off her.
"Always gotta be prepared," she said, holding it by her side. "I hear that!" he replied, walking with her to the elevators. "Car or aircraft?"
"Car this time. And if we take our hover bike again, I'm gonna drive." He laughed as they walked as they recalled the past. Going back to yesterday, SWAG felt the obsessive need to go after the Boss and his killer girl. So, rounds are going off, frames and impacting the ground with bullet holes; all's good. Well, up until he called one of his homies to get the bike. He jumped on, Amber came on after, still firing like a master marksman... woman.
They took off and slowly flew away from the conflict, knowing that was a smart idea. There were too many of them and their ammo was running low. "Nice one, babe." She said pressing her body onto his and resting her head on his back, the cool breeze whipping her hair back. "Shit!" he cried out as he steered the bike to a sharp right. Another hover bike zoomed past them and two more came into view. "How the fuck..." she trailed off as she got her SMG out.
Thinking fast, he switched the hover bike to flight mode and they dashed through the air, passing the twin vehicles and going to higher altitudes. Small cylindrical metal whizzed past their ears and Amber turned her body around to face four enemy gang members riding on red and black jet bikes. She held down the trigger and aimed not at the people on the bikes but the bikes. Her gun was fully upgraded and should be able to destroy vehicles with these bullets. After one exploding she aimed at the next one, and that's where things took a turn for the worst. I think.
A blur of red and black messed up her aim and a figure dropped down of her. Instead of battling her on the bike, Amber was pushed off with the girl. It was a long drop and she didn't wanna die; but then hiding her feelings is what she does. She wrestled the girl in freefall, until she had enough and ended her life. Making a star with her body to decrease the speed of her descent, her stomach made hard contact with metal. It knocked the wind out of her and yanked the guy on the bike off before climbing on properly and taking full control.
She'd ridden a motorbike before but this one was much easier to handle. There was one two buttons: flight/hover mode and engine on/off. The steering was fluid and she glided like a boss through the night sky. Nathan was too busy flying past trees and cars, trying to escape the enemy gang who was piercing the air. Being smart he called his girlfriend and she answered with a struggled grunt. "Get the fuck off! Whew... sorry. Where are you?
"Near Safehouse. Maybe next time you drive."
"Yeah, and keep it that way. Just stay alive until I get there." She hung up and he jumped off the bike, pulling the string of his now appeared parachute. He only noticed that ammo can't pierce it when the bikes surrounded him and starting shooting wildly. Smiling like a psycho, he got out his fully upgraded rocker launcher he'd been hiding, and looked down at the sight. "Say hello to my little friend," he said before blasting a bike into oblivion. Seeing panic rise on the red and black clad group, they turned their bikes around and fled. "Nuh-uh-uh. You ain't going nowhere." And Nathan blasted three more, the seeking missiles hitting the dead on. Carnage polluted the air along with bloody gore and it hit the main road.
Amber flew next to Safeword and ran to the entrance, just in time to see Nathan land roughly and metal and limbs hit the concrete. Helping him up, he grabbed her waist with one hand and said "That was fucking scary as well."
"I know. But apart from becoming close to death, it was fun though. I'm not sure how SWAG got jet bikes like us seeing as we took every single one."
"Sorry about that. Was too busy running away from bad guys." They turned together and entered the BDSM building, heading straight for the penthouse elevator. Before the doors closed, he planted a kiss on her rosy cheek and felt her lips twist to a smile; and through her teeth she said "I'm gonna fucking kill you when we get up there."
Upon entering Smiling Jack's Diner, they instantly spotted the caller... who was frantically waving his arm up. "Guess that's him," Amber whispered as they neared the desired table. He wore a dark blue blazer jacket with a white top inside, brown trousers and black shoes. But his face told it all. He wore glasses similar to Kinzie's and had retainers in. So that's why she was talking like that."The Boss thought as unwillingly he shook hands with the crazed hand. "I'm your biggest fan! Who's this?"
"The name's Amber. It's nice to meet you," she said, shaking hands with the nerd. "Can I take your photo?" She's never felt how like a celebrity and now she's soaking it in nicely. Nathan appreciates that she hasn't been in the spotlight but now really wasn't the time. Striking her best pose; putting her middle finger up and holding a wink, the fan jumped up and down and realised why he called them here.
"I'm Jimmy Torbitson and we're in some deep shit."
"Then why don't you tell us!" the leader of the Saints was becoming annoyed and one more straw and he could've marched right out of there, never to see this Jimmy guy again. Even though that would be virtually impossible.
Jimmy gestured his hands to the reserved table and the couple sat next to each other, jimmy opposite. "It started like this..."
It was a dark and stormy night... The heavens wept as I defiled Mother Nature."They failed you, Johnny," he said as he wiped Gat's saliva from the Saints' drink with a Q-tip. "... But I never will. I'm your number one fan."For months I had been collecting shit. His shit. Sunglasses, old chewed gum, a greasy comb. I thought I had enough things that he touched. He stored all of his collection into a clone machine. I was wrong.Out burst this huge brute, with Jimmy only noticing his face and hair. The glasses, the dyed ends, the signature face from The Gangstas in Space comic.
"Hold up!" Amber interrupted. "You cloned Gat?" The boy nodded in approval. "Yeah."
"Alright, so where is-" The Boss was abruptly cut off and he shot his violet eyes fiercely at the fan. "I'm getting to that part!"
"Where's Shogo?"Jimmy threw the finished can of Saints Row behind him and screamed "This is so fucking awesome!"With Gat noting giving three fucks, he shoved the boy out the way, knocked down the wall of his bedroom and ran off.
"Wait-where are you guys going?" Nathan looked at him and said "WE are going to find out friend!" Thinking that he was part of the 'WE', he stood up and said "Yeah, let's do this!" Amber violently shoved him back down on the seat and said "Sit the fuck down, Jimmy. Leave it to the professionals."
She walked off and Jimmy stood up again and shouted out "Can you at least give me an autograph?"
And so our adventure begins...
Nathan and Amber hopped into the purple Infuego parked outside, and they groaned at Steelport's sudden change in weather; it was raining. "So, do you have any idea where to start?"
Nathan stomped on the accelerator and the car skidded down the street. "If it's really Johnny, he'll want a gun. We're heading to Friendly Fire."
"Everything this town has to offer and that would be his first thought?"
"It was mine when Igot here." She sighed briefly before starring out the window. It may be raining but it was still hot. "Yeah, but you knew the Saints had to take on the Syndicate. A clone of Johnny ain't gonna know that."
The car broke a right before heading down the road. "You heard Jimmy, he still thinks he's out to avenge Aisha."
"Shit! Good point..." she trailed off then they reached the store but no sign of the clone. "Would'a thought maybe Gat would be at Planet Saints. Guess not."
Indeed their friend had not been to the purveyor of weapons close by, but the perhaps the next merchant would prove more... enlightening.
They reached another Friendly nearby and something caught her eye. "SWAG? Think they're after Johnny too?" Climbing out, she cocked her guns and headed towards the disturbance. "I don't know, but we better check it out."
Seeing out heroes approaching the footsoldiers of the notorious SWAG gang rained down a hail of bullets. Realising the presence of these henchmen mush hold a clue to the whereabouts of their friend, keeping one alive was their only avenue for answers.
"Better keep one alive if we're gonna find what's up." She said, shooting down a row of SWAG members, running up to one and grinding on them and grazing their face on the floor. "Good call, Fizzy," Nathan said and ran inside, finding a lieutenant aiming at him through fear. He ran up to her, pushed her on the ground and held her hostage. "Tell me what SWAG was doing here and I might let you live."
Through panicked struggles, she said "As long as you don't give me to that brute! He attacked some of our boys nearby, so were tracking him down. "Now can I go?" Metal passed through her temple and the girl dropped with blood spilling everywhere, and he looked at Amber, with her gun still at level. "We better find Gat before these guys do."
He shrugged off what happened and both literally fly-kicked into the car, as if they're running out of time.
The Saints realised that they had no idea where to continue the search. But then...
Nathan's phone started ringing again and this time Amber pressed the button. "Guys!" It was Jimmy again, and now his voice was higher and panic coated it nicely. "I've been listening to the police radio and there's something happening at Technically Legal. They say it involves some big monster. I'll bet..."
"Just leave it to us, will ya kid...? Seems like he may have gone to a strip club." She smiled and nodded. "Now that sounds more like Johnny."
Listening to the sage-like advice of their intelligent and trusted friend, they raced down over to the local strip joint ready to deal with a full police investigation. But when they arrived...
They reached the club and from what they saw, it looked like Johnny was already here; ripping a massive hole in the double doors. "Where's all the police?" Amber asked as they cautiously walked in. "I dunno, maybe he was wrong about the police."
There was bits of furniture littered everywhere and as they actually entered, strippers were covering their heads as well as customers, who seemed to be hiding behind the bars and lying in the foetal position. "Would you look at this mess?" She muttered as they came across an angry ebony guy. "I already called the police. Look at what you Saints did to my club!" She rested a hand on her hip and held up a hand. "Hold up, we didn't have nothing to do with it." With Nathan taking him hostage again he shouted "You better start talking. What happened here?"
The guy immediately went scared and said "Jesus! That big guy came in screaming his name and something about stripper poles, then he started trashing the place! People panicked and he ran off." Getting the info out of him, the boss just threw him to a wall. "Hopefully it was something like '"Gat's back bitches, and I'm gonna shove stripper poles up your ass!' Well something on the lines of that."
He laughed a little at his girl's comment and stroked the trigger as the air suddenly shifted.
At that moment, little did they know the building was being surrounded.
Somebody shouted with a loudspeaker "Come on out there, Saints! We have you surrounded!"
"Babe, we're in deep shithere." She pulled back the trigger and unleashed hell on the National Guards, who ran in with rifles and riot shields. Nathan held his fingers on the trigger and never stopped; Kinzie altered it so it never ran out of ammo and he would never have to cool it down. It just needed a battery and you're ready to go. "Ughh, I don't have time for this, Jimmy!" he shouted, when he heard breathing in his left ear.
"I know, I've heard on the police scanner they have you trapped inside. I have a track on Gat. Just wait here!"
"Jimmy..." The line cut off and slyly he pressed a button before punching a guard in the crotch, hearing him grunt under him helmet. "Shit... Guess we're holding out here until that kid shows up." She nodded and threw an electric grenade at a group, in which one thought was a ball and got shocked to death for balancing it on his head. So stupid.
And so it was the Saints began their stand at Technically Legal. Determined to stay alive long enough to be saved from the police by their daring ally, they opened fire on the hordes of enemies bearing down on them. The danger was extreme but they found the courage to endure. Never once did they lose faith in their friend.
"That kid ain't coming, boo... Oh shit, they had the decency to call in the SWAT teams. Woopdy fricking doo!"" Nathan heard a noise from behind and swivelled to it, seeing the back boors burst open and let in more guards. "Oh shit, they're coming from the back."
"Come in on the target!" he heard the Commander say before knocking him down with his riot shield. "Their bussing out the riot shields," she said before running to one of them, punching them in the crotch making them bend over, elbowed them in the neck and curb stomped their head, breaking their nose. And maybe their face but whatever.
Her guns ate through the magazines and she switched to her Krukov, where she quite easily took down five more black-ridden guys. Nathan pulled the pin on the grenade and held it for a second before dashing it at the ambush and seeing bodies fly into the air.
With the relentless onslaught of law enforcement, hope was beginning to fade. But then, at the darkest hour, a light shone through the gun smoke and hope was restored. The hero of the day arrived, unafraid and ready for action.
"He's here," Amber cheered, running with Nathan through the back. Spotting the car he ran to it, and opened the door and found that it was locked. Driving off, Jimmy said "Hurry up and get out of here, these guys are everywhere!"
"Oh, thanks for opening the door!" They ran to the dull green car, jumping in and poking their arms out the windows. "You couldn't have jacked something better than this?"
Hearing the cockiness in her voice, he spoke up. "Hey! This is my mum's car, I'll have you know. It's very reliable." She rolled her silver eyes and muttered "That explains so much..." Clearing his throat, he said "I can track Gat on my device here. Just keep us safe, alright."
Having arrived just in time to save the Saints from certain death, the three set out on a chase through the metropolis of Steelport in search of their cloned friend. Amazed by the device built for such purpose, they asked for an explanation on how it worked.
"So you see, the DNA from the Gat clone programmes into this bio scanner, I can look for traces of..."
"Your mum?" Amber said, hearing the humour in her voice. "Jimmy, we're a little busy and I don't care how it works, just that it does."
"He's faster than I had anticipated." Amber got stressed and found an RPG sitting next to her. Kissing it for thanks, she stuck her body out the window and sorted out the police racing after the car. After taking four down, three beige jeeps overtook the destroyed metal and were hot on their tail. "Dammit," she cried out, shooting a Bulldog into bits. "This would be so much easier without the Steelport PD on our asses."
They drove down the highway, where they meet a high volume of the law. "Oh no! They're blocked the road ahead! Quick, clear it out before Johnny gets out of range." Nathan took care of them and said "These guys seem to be more worried about us than Jonny on the loose."
"Another one!" Jimmy shouted, drifting the car to a halt. "You'll have to.."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm clearing it out already." The Boss said, firing a rocket at a black helicopter.
Despite all the obstacles the police put in our way, we continued our pursuit. Gaining on our target, it was Gat himself who found a way to keep us from reaching him."
She poked her body out the window, just to bring it back into the car when a flaming cockpit slipped past the car. "Holy shit, Gat's taking down helicopters!"
They reached some building and couldn't go any further. "We can't get by this. We're gonna lose him."
Nathan slumped back in his seat and Amber crossed her arms over her chest. "Well that was a complete waste of my time."
"Trust me, I'm literally holding in my anger right now." Behind him, he heard heavy breathing. "Don't worry, I have a backup plan. Trust me."
And so, the search for their lost friend begins as Jimmy makes a Johnny Gat clone that goes on the loose! What happens next?