Tales From The Void Contest
Rating: M for language and lemons
Word Count: 8790
Pairing: Bella and Edward
Summary: At age 13, Bella cast a spell to keep from ever falling in love. Now 5 years later, everything has changed and nothing is what it seems. It's a race against time to either fall in love or risk losing it forever.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight; I just get to stir them up in my cauldron.
Bind Me To You
BPOV- 13 years old
I watched with an odd sort of detachment as the front-end loader shoveled dirt onto his casket. It was nothing like the movies showed, where one or two guys rhythmically shoveled dirt into the hole. No, in real life, a man in a small bobcat scooped huge amounts of dirt and dumped it.
My Grams had already left the cemetery and was headed to the reception, leaving me and bobcat dude the only living souls around. For the first time since he died, I let the tears of guilt and pain streak down my cheeks. He shouldn't have died, it was my fault.
When the casket was no longer visible, I made my way slowly out of the cemetery. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Jacob was supposed to be impressed with me, be in awe of me. Instead he was scared and angry.
I tried to block out the images, but my mind was all too willing to replay my greatest failure.
The moon was high in the sky. Its brilliant light was more than enough light for me to see what I was doing. I arranged my tools in their proper spots upon my stone altar. My herbs and athame sat next to me. A quick glance to my watch indicated that Jacob would be here soon. My heart beat in wild anticipation.
Suddenly I heard the crunch of gravel and the spinners on his bike, he was finally here! I took several calming and centering breaths. As he drew near, I looked at him and smiled.
There was no doubt in my mind that I loved him.
"Hey, Bella," he greeted me warmly, his warm arms wrapping themselves around me. "Why did you want me to meet you out here?" he asked as he pulled away from me.
"I wanted to show you something," I replied. Although Jacob knew that I was a witch, he had never seen me in action. Since I was positive that he loved me as much as I loved him, I wanted to share this side of me with him.
When we got to the stone altar, his eyes grew wide. "Are you going to show me what you can do?"
I only nodded.
"Whoa," was all that he said.
I sat him opposite of me and went to work. I grounded myself, opening all my senses to the elements, clearing my mind and my body of all negativity. I cleansed my body, the sacred circle, and finally the alter. I cast the circle, the energy when it was done hummed through me.
I vaguely remembered hearing Jake gasp, letting me know he saw the bright blue light encompassing my circle. One by one I called forth the elements, asking them to join my circle. One by one they joined, filling me with their energies. When the spirit joined to make it complete, my body felt alive and full of warm energy.
My eyes opened and landed on Jacob. He was busy looking around at the swirling colors that represented the elements that had gathered in my circle.
"Cool, huh?" I finally spoke to him.
All he could do was nod mutely.
I bit my lip nervously. "Do you want to see what I can do?"
Again, another mute shake of his head. One by one I levitated some mundane items I had brought; a feather, a rock, my shoes. I carefully watched Jacob's expression. So far, so good I thought and continued on.
"If you have something in your pocket I can levitate that as well."
He quickly pulled out a pocket knife and a bouncy ball.
"Place them in your palm and watch."
He did as I told him and I carefully raised them from his hands.
"Holy shit!" he exclaimed. "You're really doing that, aren't you?"
I laughed, "Yep."
All at once, I let everything drop safely to the ground. Power was coursing through me and I was excited to show him more. I needed to show him more. I was convinced that once he saw how powerful I was, he would love me as I loved him.
"I can do more. That was so simple." I tried to act unimpressed with my levitation. "Do you want to see?"
"Yes. What else can you do?" I could see the excitement that shone in his eyes.
He was impressed with me! I had been working with my Grams on fire scrying. My control was a little shaky, but the previous day, I had been able to hold it for fifteen minutes before I losing it. I didn't need to hold it that long, just long enough to prove to Jake I was the real deal.
"Well, I've been working with Grams on a cool way to let you see your future with fire. Want to give it a go?"
His eyes went wide and I thought he looked nervous, but I brushed it aside.
"Sure, if ya want," he finally said.
I quickly got things together before he changed his mind. When I was all set I faced Jake and handed him a piece of paper and pencil.
"Write down what you want to see. Make it simple and specific."
I watched him ponder his question as I readied my mind to focus on my task. When he had the paper folded, I took it from him and concentrated on the small flame in front of me. It I heard Jake gasp as it leapt from the candle to my hand.
I focused on controlling the flame as I guided it to the small area I had dug out and lined with rocks. Easily, the flame sat amongst the rocks and danced with the wind. I closed my eyes and opened my mind, letting the power of the flame inside fill me. Then I chanted the words Grams taught me:
Power of the flame hear my cry
Power of the flame I now scry
One answer to a question to know
One answer to a question we ask to show
I threw in the paper with his question and was hit with a sudden burst of powerful energy. Problem was it wasn't my energy. Whatever Jake's question was, the power needed to show the answer was massive. I struggled to control it.
Outside my sphere of focus I heard Jake gasp in surprise and that caused me to look at him. The second my focus was removed from the energy all hell broke loose.
I shook myself from the memories. I didn't need the visuals to be repeated in my mind. I lost control of the fire energy; it landed on Jake as he was the focus of the scrying. This freaked the shit out of him and he ran. He got on his bike fast and I ran after him screaming that I was sorry and that I loved him. When he turned to look at me he didn't see the logging truck that was coming.
I closed my eyes against the tears. I shouldn't feel sad, I didn't deserve it. If it wasn't for me, Jake would still be alive. I confessed everything I did to Grams, the guilt and shame oozing out of me. She held me as I cried when all I wanted was her anger. Even Jake's dad didn't blame me. Why he didn't, I'll never know. I wanted to be blamed, that was what I deserved.
I looked around me and realized I had wondered to the graves of my parents. They had died when I was six. They were another example of love and magic gone horribly wrong. In an attempt to make my father stay with her, my mother cast a love spell. The herbs she used were too intense and made my father go mad. One night he confronted her when he thought she had been cheating on him. He killed her and then himself.
I walked away from them with a leaden feeling in my stomach. I should have known that what I was doing with Jake would end in disaster. My parents should have taught me that. The whole way home I thought of nothing but how magic and love have done nothing good for me in my life. By the time I trudged up the stairs to my room that night I resolved that I would make sure nothing like this ever happened.
Three nights later, I snuck out of the house and went to our outside stone altar. Grams used it for her monthly coven meetings and other ritual work. It was the perfect place. The moon was in its waning phase, everything pointed to it being the perfect time.
I laid my herbs and tools on the altar and went forth cleansing and purifying the space and circle. The circle was cast, the elements invited and the power was flowing. This was right; this was what I had to do so that I would never hurt someone again.
I centered my energies, cleared my mind of everything but the purpose before me. I took the strands of thread, blessed them and slowly and methodically began to braid them together. As I worked to weave the white, purple and brown strands together, my lips moved in silent chanting. All my energies were focused on my task, binding my magic. When the length of the string was braided I made three knots, representing the Law of Three to hold the spell, to give it strength and integrity.
I took each bracelet and tied one to each ankle and then used slip knots to attach one to each wrist. The knots were centered on the pulse points on my wrists while the knots on my ankles faced inward. The low thrum of magic surrounded me and I could tell it was working.
I turned back to the altar and began the next part of my spell work. This time I braided red, white and pink thread together, this time chanting the spell that would bind me from ever finding love. I didn't need the heartache or the loss. It just wasn't worth it.
When the long length was braided, I once again made three knots, the center one holding a small silver charm. I placed it around my neck, making sure the knots and charm was as close to my heart as possible. Again, another hum of magic surrounded me and I closed my eyes to let the feeling course through my body. When I felt centered again, I closed the spell with the final touch. One last part to seal the magical workings and make it real. I closed my eyes and raised my arms high in the air, casting my words and my magic out into the night sky. When it was all over, I thanked the elements, the spirit, opened my circle and collected my tools.
Back at home, I placed my athame, my cords and my chalice into a box. I would no longer need these items, for this moment forward, I was just Isabella. Isabella the witch ceased to be, just like I wanted.
Bella- 13 days before her 18th birthday
"Did you hear about the new family that just moved into town?" asked Alice as she painted my toes.
"No," I replied simply, knowing that she was dying to spill the juicy gossip. Instead I concentrated on painting my nails bright neon yellow. It sort of looked green in the right light.
"Well," she went on to say, "the dad is the new doctor over at the hospital, not sure what the mom does. But," she tailed off, looking up at me with bright shining eyes, "there are two boys, both seniors and both smoking hot!"
I rolled my eyes at my best friend; she was forever falling in and out of love. I absently fingered the frayed threads around my neck. It was barely hanging on, but it only had to last thirteen more days. Then once midnight on my eighteenth passed, the spell would be complete and I wouldn't need to wear the bracelets that also still adorned my wrists and ankles.
"The other boy's name is Jasper and he has such sexy blond hair and the deepest blue eyes. I think I am in love." I suppressed a chuckle at her declaration.
"When did you meet Jasper?" I asked knowing she wanted to tell me the story.
"He and Edward came into Daddy's story yesterday looking for stuff for the house. I was bringing him his lunch when I ran into them."
She gave me a withering glare. "Were you not listening to me? Edward is Jasper's brother, well adopted brother."
"Edward is adopted?" I asked feeling lost and confused.
"No!" she sighed. "Jasper is adopted. Edward's mom was Jasper's mom's sister. She died or something when Jasper was real little, his dad had died before he was born. The Cullen's adopted him." She looked at me, proud to have discovered such a treasure trove of information about her newest love interest.
"Oh," I replied, not understanding in the least, but not really caring.
"Your nails are dry, let's go."
I dutifully followed her out to her car and we headed off to First Beach. It was the last summer party before school started in a few days. I was looking forward to seeing everyone. Grams and I had just gotten back from a two week trip to see family over on the East Coast. It was nice to be back with family, even if it was for a short time.
A few hours later, the party is in full swing and I was sitting talking with Alice, Ben and Angela when the crowd parted for a group of people. At first, all I saw was Emmett. He dwarfed over everyone and he kinda made an entrance. Next to him was his girlfriend, Rose. Behind them I saw a boy with blond hair and from the way Alice was practically jumping out of her skin, I would say that was Jasper. I couldn't see the boy behind Jasper, but my body hummed in a strange reaction.
When they got closer to the bonfire, Jasper shifted slightly and the other boy came into full view. My heart skidded to a stop and all breath whooshed out of me. I felt the color drain from my face.
It's not possible!
But there he stood, in all of his real life glory. I shook my head, frantically, trying to deny that he was real.
"W-who is that?" I asked shakily to Alice. If she noticed my shaking finger, she never mentioned it. Instead she glanced over to where I was pointing.
"Edward, Jasper's brother. I told you about him earlier. Want me to introduce you him?"
"NO!" I all but shouted at her. I was shaking my head so fast, Alice was a blur. "No, no, there is no need."
I stood up, and ran in the other direction. I heard Alice shouting at me, but I needed to get out, to get away from…from…from Edward.
His name rolled around in my head and it sent a warm shiver down my spine. When I make it to where all the cars are parked, I saw Eric leaning against his car. I ran up to him and begged him to take me home. I was sure my wild, crazy eyes were freaking him out, but I couldn't care less.
Finally I got him to agree and in seconds I was in his car and putting miles between me and Edward. As he drove, I couldn't help but go back to that night five years ago when I cast my spell.
I shall not love another, unless he has eyes of summer grass, hair that shines like a penny, but as wild as the wind and an imperfect smile. My magic and my love, I bind to him. By true love's confession before the stroke of midnight of my eighteenth year or love and magic forever lost.
I picked those traits, never suspecting that they could be real in someone. It was too specific, too detailed to exist exactly as I cast. Fear and dread flowed throughout my body. I needed to get to Grams; she would help me make sense of it all. I was too close to my goal to have it all fall apart now.
As Eric screeched to a halt in front of my house, I was already out of the car and flying up the steps to my front door. I didn't even tell him thanks; my only purpose was to get to Grams. I rushed through the house to find her in bed reading.
"Grams! You have to help…he's real…I saw him…the spell…scared…" I was panting so fast that my words were coming out all jumbled and garbled.
Calmly, she placed her book on her bedside table and patted the spot next to her. "Calm down, child. Tell me what has you in a tizzy."
The soft melody of her voice worked its magic through me, the panic and fear slowed to a halt and I could breathe slowly and think clearly. Her warm gentle hand grasped mine as I told her my tale. She never knew what magic I cast, just that I had. She trusted me to use my powers wisely and justly. It felt cathartic to finally tell her. It wasn't that I was fearful of her response. No, I was more worried that I would disappoint her.
I was the last witch of my family. If I was able to forever bind my magic, there was a good chance that the magic would die with Grams. She let me pull away from her teachings; I stopped going to full moon rituals or participating in sabbats. She was great in giving me my time and space. I was sure she thought, in time I would come back to the magic. But once I confessed the lengths I went to in order to rid my life of magic, she would be disappointed.
So as I regaled her with my tale, I looked at the worn, threadbare blanket on the bed. I plucked at the loose strands as my voice shook and waffled. When I was done, the silence was heavy and thick, I felt suffocated. I wanted to look at her, but shame kept my eyes down.
"Get me your book, child." She didn't have to tell me what book she wanted.
With a heavy heart and wooden feet, I shuffled to my room and dug out the box in the back of my closet. I lifted the lid and retrieved my personal Book of Shadows. It was the diary of all my magical workings. Every spell, every divination, every ritual I performed myself was written in painstaking detail. With a shaking hand I handed it to her.
Once again I sat next to her, eyes glued to the blanket as I heard her rustling the pages. When she found the page I had detailed my spell on, I counted the heartbeats as she read in silence. When I felt as if I would die before she spoke, the heavy silence was broken by her laughter.
I looked up at her to see her face beaming, her eyes crinkled at the corners and she was laughing. I felt myself grow angry.
"It's not funny, Grams. He's not supposed to be real; no one could have all those traits." I crossed my arms in frustration, pissed that she couldn't see how very un-fucking funny this was.
Grams shook her head, "My child, you have no clue what you really did don't you?"
I looked at her in confusion, "What do you mean? Of course I did. I cast a spell that once I turn eighteen my magic and ability to fall in love will be gone forever. Unless he doesn't come along and we fall in love."
"That's not what you did, Bella. If you wanted to do that, you should have done a banishing spell. No, what you did was bind your magic and love to this boy." She looked at me expectantly as if I should have known better.
"What does this mean?" I whispered to her. The knowledge of what this all really meant was growing ever present and I started to feel true fear.
I was sure my panic was written all over my body, the idea that everything I thought to be true was wrong, unsettled me. All that I once held true was crumbling beneath my feet and I scrambled for some foothold.
Her warm hands squeezed mine, "It means that you drew him to you. Your magic is tied to him, as well as your love. He is your destiny. If the spell can't be broken by midnight on your birthday, you two will be lost to each other forever."
I was in shock. I had no thoughts, no feelings, I was numb. But then one niggling little thought occurred to me.
"How do we break the spell?" Part of me didn't want to know, but the other side of me had a morbid need to know.
"It's simple, child. You wrote it perfectly, you must say 'I love you' to each other."
Deep down I knew she was right. But there was one more piece left to place in the puzzle.
"What did you mean, 'lost to each other forever'?" I watched her cornflower blue eyes peered deep into my soul. I knew she was sizing me up to see if I could handle truth. I held her unwavering gaze.
"It means neither of you will ever love another. Your whole life will be spent pining after a love you cannot have and you will truly lose your magic. For now it is laying dormant inside you, waiting for him to set it free. I would go so far as to venture that he is a witch as well, that he can sense you like you sensed him tonight."
It was her!
I had dreamt of the same brown hair and brown eyes since I was thirteen. I had been drawn to that face for the last five years. I had been searching for her ever since. The hum of power that flooded my body when I saw her almost overwhelmed me.
She was the key to getting the rest of my magic back. Every divination, every scrying I did pointed to her as the key to getting my magic back. I knew it, I could feel it. The answers I needed she could provide. I knew I was on the right track when I picked this place to move to. Every molecule screamed at me to come here.
As we drove closer and closer, I could feel that I was headed in the right direction. But when I saw her, it was like being slammed into concrete. She was real, she was alive and there was a small part of me that whispered she was mine.
I ignored everyone ever since the party. I was still trying to come to grips with all that Grams had told me. I wanted to scream at my stupidity. But once I looked at the spell again, I could see where my thirteen year old self went wrong.
How could I be so stupid?
But, now it was the first day of school and I couldn't ignore anyone anymore. I would have to face Edward head on. I could only hope that I didn't have any classes with him. I still had no clue what I was going to do. Nothing was how I thought it would be and that had me re-examining all that I thought was true.
I made it through homeroom and my first two classes without spotting Edward. But that didn't stop my body from humming with energy. It was as if my body knew he was near. Grams told me that it was the spells way of recognizing the magic I cast.
I was sitting in calculus, waiting for class to start when my heart started to pound and I could feel the blood rushing through my veins. My whole body was like a live wire and I was primed and ready to go. But when Edward walked into the room, my entire body tuned into his. It was as if he was my north, my sun, my moon. My body knew who he was, but my mind was screaming, trying to find the brakes before I crashed and burned.
I wanted to turn away from him, but I couldn't it was like I was physically unable to stop looking at him. My eyes drank in the sight of his lean and toned body, the slight swagger in his walk. I was finally able to see the slightly crooked smile he gave me as he walked over to the empty desk next to me. I wanted to throw my books down and say that it was reserved, but I was paralyzed by his absolute beauty.
"Hey, I'm Edward Cullen." He said to me and all I could do was stare. "Um, you're Bella, right?" His brows did this sexy scrunched up thing and I swear I felt my ovaries swoon.
"Um, yea… that's me…umm..yea…Bella."
OMG! Could I sound any more like a complete moron?
He smiled at me, his green eyes sparkling and I was lost. Thank the gods that the teacher started to talk, pulling me from the hypnotic gaze he had me trapped in. When the bell rang less than an hour later, I bolted from the room, desperate to get away from Edward.
Of course, my lame ass attempt to get away lasted all of about three minutes as Edward once again strolled into my biology class. I moaned and groaned as he sauntered up the lab table I was sitting at.
"Looks like we meet again, Bella." The way my name rolled off his tongue made me shiver and I barely repressed the urge to close my eyes in delight.
"Yes, we do, Edward." My teeth were clenched tight. I turned and faced the front and pretended to pay attention. I tried to focus on what Mr. Banner was saying and not the delicious heat from Edward's body that I felt washing over me.
I was so screwed.
I knew she was evading me. I could tell by the tension in her body whenever I was near. Problem was that I had no clue why. She had to feel the pull, the connection. Hell, if I was right, the source of whatever was happening between us had to originate from her. I could feel the power coursing through her.
While she pretended not to notice me, I watched her. She was even more beautiful than my dreams. Her hair was richer, fuller. Her eyes were warm pools that reflected her soul. She was lithe and had curves that my hands itched to feel.
Now, I just needed a way to talk to her about what is happening. I just needed an opening. That opening came as I was following her after biology. We had lunch together, but she had yet to discover that. It was then that I noticed the bracelets on her ankles and on her wrists. They looked like something one would create for a spell. At lunch I covertly took a picture of one of them on her wrist and sent it to my mom with a quick text.
M- Are these what I think they are? They are on her ankles and wrists. E
When Bella flicked her hair back, I stifled a gasp as I saw the necklace she was wearing. It was in the same style as the other ones, but this held a heart shaped charm in the knot work. I was almost positive they were from a spell. But it just didn't make any sense. I took another covert picture of the necklace and sent it to my mom as well. If anyone could help me figure this out, it would be her. I learned everything I knew from her.
There was only one class left after lunch and I had it with Bella as well. I could tell it was driving her insane to have me in so many classes. But at the same time, I could see the pull affecting her as well. Her eyes constantly flicked to mine. Her body would lean towards me and when she would realize what she was doing her face would curl into the most adorable scowl. She would then wrench her body back and stay real still and stiff until she started to lean toward me once again.
About ten minutes before the final bell rang, my phone vibrated with an incoming message. I snuck a look under my desk to see it was from my mom. Hastily I opened it up and my eyes went wide with surprise.
E- They are spell work for love and magic. They look like binding knots, but it makes no sense if they are on her and she is resisting. Talk to her. I sense there is not much time. I feel something big is at stake. M
I got an answer to one of my questions, but it brought up several dozen others. Something wasn't adding up and the only one who could clear it up was Bella. I knew that once the bell rang, she would try and fly right outside and far away from me. Too bad I wasn't going to let her.
I gathered my books a few minutes before the bell rang and I prepared myself to follow Bella closely, she was going to talk whether she wanted to or not. Just as the bell rang, Bella jumped out of her seat and I was right behind her. She didn't even stop at her locker; she just headed straight for the parking lot.
"Bella," I called out to her. Her shoulders hunched as if she was trying to deflect my words away from her.
"Bella, stop!" I yelled. People were looking at me but I paid them no attention. I could see that her path was blocked by a crowd of freshman. I pushed passed the person in front of me and launched myself at Bella.
My hand grasped her arm and I pulled her back against my chest. My lips lowered to her ear. I couldn't help but notice the way her body melted into mine and a shiver raced down her spine.
"I know you did a love and magic spell. Now I want to know why and how it involves me."
Without waiting for her to respond, I pulled us both into the nearest empty classroom. I pushed her ahead of me and I closed and locked the door. She whipped around to look at me when she heard the click of the lock.
"I want my answers now."
My mind flew in a million different directions. Each and every thought I had was scattered. My mind was in utter chaos. He leaned so casually against the locked door. I opened my mouth to deny any knowledge of what he was talking about.
"Don't even think of denying it. I know what you are, Bella. I know you're a witch. I know that you cast some sort of love and magic spell. What I don't know is how I fit into it."
"How do you know all this?" I finally asked.
"Because I am a witch as well and for the last five years I have been dreaming of you, searching for you. Also for the last five years I have been trying to get back part of my powers. Somehow, I think you hold all the answers. So spill it."
I looked at him, unsure if I could believe what he was saying. Hoping, praying to the gods that what he was saying was all a huge mistake. "How do I know you're a witch?" I spat out in a bratty tone.
His low seductive chuckle washed over me and I couldn't help but close my eyes. "You want proof? I can give you proof." With that he flicked his wrists and the books lining the shelf near me came flying at me. I threw up my hands to protect myself, but they stopped inches from my face.
I looked at him and I could tell he was serious. It was time to face the music. So I unloaded the whole sordid tale. From my responsibility for Jake's death, to my desire to get rid of my magic and never fall in love and finally to the spell I cast. I told him what I felt that night at First Beach and what my Grams revealed about what spell I really did cast.
"It's wasn't supposed to turn out this way. I fucked up. HUGE. But if what my Grams says is true, there is lots more at stake." I let out a resigned sigh. "I'm sorry, Edward. I never meant to drag you into this, or cause you any harm. I am so very sorry."
I couldn't look him in the eyes; my shame was weighing me down. Even when I heard him chuckle, I couldn't meet his eyes.
"Don't be sorry, I'm not."
I wish I could say that after our little talk that day, things got better. But that wouldn't be true. No, Bella was playing extremely hard to get. I mean…hello…did she not understand we had less than thirteen days to figure this all out!
I knew the idea that we had to fall in love to break the spell sounded crazy and very farfetched, but that was what we had to work with. At the very least, we should spend time together, get to know each other. What did we have to lose? Well, with us, a lot, but still, she wasn't even giving us a shot.
She refused to talk to me in class, even if I passed her notes. She would just shove them right back to me. The only good thing I had going for me was the connection. As much as she fought against it, it fought back. Every time I walked near her she would look and she just stared at me with this sexy ass look on her face. But then, she would realize what was happening and she would force herself to turn away.
So about the third day of her ignoring me, I had enough. I was tired of waiting around for her to come to me. Nope, I was done being Mr. Nice guy. Hardball Cullen was coming out to play and he took no prisoners. Nothing was going to get resolved this way.
So minutes before lunch was over, I left and hid in the shadows in the hallway that Bella would have to walk to get to our last class. I saw her and when she passed by I clamped a hand around her mouth and another around her waist. I took us both into the alcove under the stairs.
I pushed her up against the wall, my body pressed up against hers. I could feel every curve, every dip, and every breath she took. I just wanted to talk to her, but seeing her there, with wide eyes, heaving breasts, I lost control. I removed my hand only to cover her lips with mine.
I wish I could've been soft and gentle, but I was beyond worked up by her. Instead, the kiss was hard and demanding. I nibbled on that plump lower lip and when she gasped in surprise, I forced my tongue into her mouth.
Oh, fuck me, she tasted like heaven. I was relentless with the kiss, teasing, taunting and demanding. She tried to resist, but she didn't last long. Soon, her hands were fisted in my shirt, pulling me closer. Her leg hitched over mine and started this sexy grind.
I groaned at the feel of her heat pressed against my groin. Bella took that opportunity to trail nips and bites down my neck and throat while fisting her hands in my hair and pulling me to her neck. I was all too willing, so I kissed and sucked every inch of skin I could.
We were in frenzy, hands clawing, grasping pulling. Mouths and lips devouring, tasting, licking, sucking. I was hard and she was grinding on me like there was no tomorrow. But then Bella went and threw a figurative bucket of ice water on everything when she slammed her foot down on mine. When I let go of her, she pushed me back and ran away.
I slid down the wall, so close, but yet, still so far away.
I knew I wasn't handling everything very well. Ok, ok, fine, I wasn't handling it at all. But I just didn't know how to cope. It was all to fucking much. How was I supposed to fall in love with a complete stranger? Then he had to go and lay that kiss on me. The kiss that I felt down to my toes. The one that could still make my panties wet.
Ignoring him wasn't working. The fucking connection wouldn't let me. I was always painfully aware of where he was. But then, Edward was always trying to reach out to me. He would slide notes over to me with cute questions trying to get to know me. I would always read it before I slid it back to him unanswered. Then he started to leave me tidbits about himself; his favorite band, book, movie, color, food.
I wanted to hate him, I really did. But the connection between us wouldn't let me. Ok, so maybe I was a bit curious and it had nothing to do with the connection. But that only added to my already growing curiosity about Edward.
He was drop dead gorgeous, every girl wanted him. He was incredibly smart, polite and sweet. His magical skills were highly advanced, even with him having limited power at the moment. In fact, there was little I could find wrong with him. Maybe under different circumstances I would want to pursue something with him.
I just hated the idea of being forced into something with him. I knew that was pretty damn hypocritical of me, seeing how it was my entire fault we were in this predicament. But it was how I felt. I couldn't help it.
Of course Grams kept telling me different. She'd said that I was fighting the connection instead of letting it work. She reminded me that I cast the spell asking for this specific person and that magic found a way for the two of us to find each other. In her mind he was my soul mate. I thought she was crazy.
I had spent the last five years doing everything in my power to NOT fall in love. It was hard to switch gears on a dime and be all lovey dovey about it. I mean, love doesn't have a great track record in our family. When I pointed that out to Grams, she reminded me that what happened with my parents was a gross misuse of magic. Jake was a horribly tragic accident that had nothing to do with love. I tried to argue against her logic, but it was useless.
One day, Grams asked that I just let myself follow the connection. "Just try one day, child. One day is all I am asking you. Surely it's not too much to ask. You may be pleasantly surprised."
She gave me one of her all knowing looks and I found myself agreeing. I hated that she had the power to make me do shit I didn't want to. So it was four days before my birthday and when I woke, I let the connection guide me. It first made me wait for Edward, as he pulled into the parking lot right behind me.
I approached him shyly and when he smiled, I melted. We walked side by side into school. Every step I moved closer and closer to him, until our arms were continuously bumping into each other. If I was honest, I loved the feel of being next to him. I gave his hand a squeeze before first period and ran off to class. Just as the class started I received a text from Edward.
B- Can I ask what that was all about? Not that I am complaining. I liked it. E
The connection told me not to lie, so I listened.
E- Grams asked me not to fight the connection, for at least one day. So I am giving it a go. B
B-I think your Grams is a smart lady. E
I bit back a laugh and concentrated as much as I could on class. When third period rolled around, I was giddy and couldn't help but smile. With each passing second I could feel him getting closer. It washed over me like a warm comfy blanket. So it was no surprise to me that when he sat down next to me, that I reached over and hugged him.
I buried my face into the warm crook of his neck and inhaled his clean scent. It felt right and deep down that fucking scared me, but the connection buried that feeling and I went with the flow. The rest of the day I talked to Edward, held his hand and we gave lots of hugs. With each touch of his skin I felt the connection growing stronger and more intense.
By the end of the day, I felt happier and lighter, but still no closer to knowing if I was in love with Edward.
To say that I was shocked that she decided not to fight the connection, even if it was for a day, was an understatement. But I didn't complain. I used it to my advantage. I made sure we talked, touched, hugged, anything I could think of to build the connection up between us. I knew that if it got stronger there would be no way she could deny it.
I could feel that I was starting to fall in love with Bella. But I knew that she wasn't ready to hear that just yet. I was holding onto a faint glimmer of hope that everything would turn out ok. But I was also being realistic, it wouldn't surprise me if tomorrow, she went back to trying to fight the connection.
So the next few days I continued as if she was no longer fighting the connection. I waited for her in the parking lot. I held her hand; I would talk to her about everything and anything that came to mind. I offered to do homework with her and even asked if I could pick her up for school. She politely refused me.
But that didn't stop me from offering. But the gods took pity on me one day and made the teachers put us as partners for a project. It was also her birthday, we were down to the last few hours and I was not opposed to using this project as an excuse to getting Bella alone.
"Come on Bella, it's your birthday, we should spend all the time we can together. Plus, we have school work we need to do, as partners. We can kill two birds with one stone." I waggled my eyes suggestively. She busted out laughing and I knew that she would agree.
"I guess you're right." I heard the resignation in her voice. I knew she worried about being the reason why I may never get all my powers back. But I could care less about that. All I wanted was Bella. The idea of spending the rest of my life pining after her scared me and made me physically ill.
So there we were, in my room working on our Biology project. Well, Bella was working; I was too busy staring at her. The connection in me was thrumming hard and it was hard to ignore. Everything in me was screaming to make her mine. So when she called me over to look at something, I flew over to my bed to sit next to her.
The sweet scent of her strawberry shampoo swirled around me and I lost it. I pushed her back onto my bed and covered her body with mine. I was already rock hard and I began to move against her while my lips attacked her. She hesitated for a brief second and then she began kissing me back until she was just as worked up as I was.
Soon clothes were being ripped off and she was beneath me naked. Our breathing was labored as we tried to get even closer to each other.
"I need to be in you, Bella," I groaned out to her.
"Yes, please," she replied in a hiss. In one smooth motion, I was sheathed deep inside her. I felt the give of her hymen and realized the gift she just gave to me. As I began the slow movements everything just clicked. I felt as if I had come home. I could hear her gasp below me and when I looked into her wide eyes; I could tell she could feel it too.
Slowly, I continued to thrust into her, building up a slow rhythm until her heels spurred me on. Her breathy moans and pants of 'more' and 'harder' caused me to pump into her with all that I had. Her hands clutched at my shoulders as she met me thrust for thrust.
Her hands roamed my body and I shivered under her touch. My hands held her close; the need to feel her overwhelmed me. Our lips kissed and licked where ever we could reach. Our breaths mingled with each pant and gasp for more that was uttered.
When I felt that familiar coil roll through me I sped up. I watched her face, needing to see that moment when she finally let go. When she let out her wordless scream and I felt her clamp down, I let go and roared out my own orgasm. When the last pulses coursed through us both I slumped down next to Bella.
I was basking in the glow, when Bella started to gather her clothes. I threw her a confused look.
"Um, just cleaning up. I'll be right back." She scrambled off the bed and into the bathroom.
The hum of the connection had me on a high. I knew that I loved her. I could feel it. I just needed to tell her. So strong was the urge that I threw on my pants and ran out to the bathroom. I knocked on it, but got no response.
I opened the door only to find that the window was open and Bella was gone.
I didn't love him. But I sure felt it from him. It pulsed off him in waves and it freaked me out. I needed to escape. So I did the cowardly thing, I ran. I climbed out his bathroom window and ran to my car where I took off like a bat out of hell.
Tears streamed down my face as my entire body was racked with guilt, shame and physical illness. Everything in and out of me hurt. All I could think was how badly I was fucking everything up. I was crying so hard that I didn't see the deer in the road until it was too late. I swerved to miss hitting it and over corrected. I fishtailed, spun a few circles and slammed into a tree. My head hit the steering wheel and the last thought I had was that I wanted Edward.
I was pacing my room. There was nothing left for me to do. I had driven around for hours looking for her. I had called her Grams more times than I cared to admit. Everything I did I came up empty. I could feel each tick of the clock counting down to midnight. I had less than an hour. Every pore in my body was crying out to her. I could tell something was very, very wrong.
My mom was sitting at the kitchen table, trying to get a vision of Bella or anything useful. But she wasn't getting any flickers. The silence was broken by the sound of the house phone ringing. I jumped and mom ran to answer it.
I watched her face as she listened to the person on the other end speak. She hung up with a quick thank you and looked at me.
"She's at the hospital! Go quick!"
I was out the door before she finished speaking. The entire drive I spoke every prayer and blessing I could think of and some that I made up. She just had to be alright. I didn't bother wiping the tears that were falling down. All I could concentrate on was the miles rolling under my wheels and the silent hands of the clock that was ticking down.
I skidded to a halt in the parking lot. I didn't even worry about parking properly. I threw open my door and ran full tilt through the front door. My Dad was there waiting.
"Room 210. She was unconscious."
He had to scream out the last bit as I flew past him to the stairs. I took them two at a time and flung open the door to the second floor. I scanned the signs and followed the one for 210. As I drew closer, my body started humming and I froze. The connection was pulling at me, telling me to run to her.
I yelled at myself to get going but I was paralyzed. Fear of what I would find and see made me slow down and be cautious. My heart thundered in my chest, my breathing was fast and labored and my mind was screaming that I loved her.
When I made it to her darkened room, I opened the door to see a single light shining on her frail form in the hospital bed. Like lightning I raced to her side and gathered her in my arms. She had a few cuts on her head and a nasty bruise. I tucked her close to me and rocked her back and forth.
"I love you, Bella. Wake up for me. I love you."
Over and over I repeated my words hoping that they could pierce the darkness of her mind. I stroked her head and kissed her face. She had to wake up, time was running out.
"Please baby, wake up. I need to see that you're okay. Please, Bella. I love you."
I felt her fingers twitch and I watched her face for signs that she was coming around. Her other hand moved and her breathing sped up. Her eyes moved fast beneath her lids. I whispered my words into her ear as I kept watch over her face.
Her eyes fluttered open a few times then closed and I sent her silent pleadings to keep fighting, to come back to me. She licked her lips and I called out for her.
"Bella, can you hear me? Wake up beautiful, please."
A few more eye flutters and then I was looking into her warm eyes.
"Edward? Am I dreaming?"
I smiled at her, "No, you're not dreaming." I pushed back a few stray hairs from her face and looked deep into her eyes. "I love you, Bella. Do you hear me? I love you!"
She looked around in confusion then back at me. Her hand shakily reached up to touch my face.
"You are real." I nodded and kissed her cheek to give her further proof that I was right there with her.
"Yes I am. I love you, Bella."
"You love me?" She asked, her face scrunched up in deep thought.
"Yes." I answered simply. It was all in her court, she had to make her declaration if we were to break the spell.
She licked her dry lips and pulled me down close, our lips just millimeters from each other, her warm breath fanned over my face.
"I love you too, Edward."
With that, she kissed me and the alarm on my watch chimed the midnight hour.