Response to a prompt in Glee angst meme. :) also found on my LJ, "hesitateawhile". if you're up for Finn angst, check out my other account (RelapseAndEscape). (Sammy)
in the beginning
Kurt Hummel always had a white pristine mug on his desk. It shone against the soft white sunlight, and Kurt never filled the cup with coffee, or let anyone touch it – it was his Mother's mug, from days of Italy, slightly cracked on the inside, and now, he was staring at the mug as if it was going to give him the answers Mother calling out to him and all of the things in between.
Blaine just laughed and Kurt remembered he'd stated a joke, or something along the lines of that, as Kurt's finger trailed across the handle of the mug. Kurt's thoughts were on Sebastian again as he stared at his boyfriend's face, eye covered by the black eye-patch, underneath a small white bandage. His smile was too wide for a boy that was physically hurt, but that was what Kurt loved about him, he'd decided, as he gave him a soft smile, and then suddenly stated. "…Santana taped his confession on a tape recorder."
All happiness drained from Blaine's face and they played their parts well – serious time hitting them, as Blaine nodded slowly. Kurt's hand gripped onto the handle, as if looking for the answer somewhere in the air, and then took a strong gulp of air before his next statement came to view. "I don't want to take any legal action," and that was when he courageously looked at Blaine's eyes.
He expected a mixture of disgust and confusion but all he saw was the twinkle in Blaine's honey eye, proud and understanding and all things good.
"I've played dirty for too long," Kurt explained in one singular line even if Blaine knew because that smile was back on his face, that too-wide smile that made Kurt feel that euphoric feeling as if he'd just gotten right on a test answer that he doubted he would, but then the silence was broken by Kurt reinforcing an idea. "He still can't get away with it, so…I'm thinking we should…you know, talk to Sebastian's Father."
Blaine waited for more, because he knew there was more. He could tell from Kurt's eyes.
"Before I transferred to McKinley, during the Karofsky situation, er…" Kurt's voice drifted off and then nodded towards Blaine, playing with the pencil in front of him as if he can't bear to see what Blaine's face would snap into, but his eyes led back to Blaine's even through the tentativeness. "My Dad called a meeting with him and Dave and Dave's Father and it all…well, it kind of worked out better than I expected, so I'm…just hoping it's the same? Crazy right?"
Blaine's voice was soft.
"You are so beautiful."
Kurt stared at Blaine, beautiful as in beautiful-minded, beautiful body, beautiful, beautiful thoughts as Blaine reached to give Kurt a soft brush of his lips, because he knew that Kurt was dying to take on legal action and he knew that Kurt was dying to have Sebastian lose the position he'd attained. He knew it all, but the amount of strength it took to take the high-road was there, and Blaine couldn't be happier in his life, because he was together with the sweetest person in the world.
Saturday night, at around seven pm, just before dinner at eight, there he was. Burt's hand was on Kurt's own, as a form of support. Blaine sat right next to Kurt. Carole and Finn were perpendicular to them. And sitting a couch just on opposite of Blaine, Kurt and Burt, was Sebastian Smythe and Mr Jean Smythe. Jean looks composed for a man, eyes apathetic and articulate, and there was no contact between Jean and his son, no holding hands, nothing. If anything, they didn't even look like they were related. Kurt concluded Sebastian must look like his Mother, because Jean's hair was gleaming blonde and his eyes were dark brown, kind of soullessly brown.
Jean's hand was around a small mug and he was stirring in some coffee that Carole had treated him to. Kurt looked tentatively back and forth from Sebastian to Jean. This was it. The confrontation. Burt began in a very calm and lucid voice, "your son's been a bully to my kid and his friends."
Jean just continued to stir, waiting for more.
Burt did continue to speak. "During one of their show-choir competitions, they decided to meet up. In the middle of them singing, Sebastian hit Blaine with a slushie and damaged his eye—he's going to have surgery for his eye on Thursday and he did mention he intended to do that to my son. He shows no remorse for his actions. One of Kurt's friends tried to confront him but he also hit her with a slushie. Your son's hurting other people."
Jean put down his mug, and the spoon, didn't even look at Sebastian. Kurt waited for him to talk about how he'd never even imagined Sebastian would do something like that. Instead, Jean's voice was cold and clear, "And?"
Burt was taken back. "Your kid's the reason that Blaine has to have eye-surgery. I think that constitutes as something." Burt was gesturing towards Blaine, and Blaine looked vulnerable from where he sat down beside Kurt. Jean's eyes were fixated on Blaine's eye for a second, but he just shrugged it off.
"So?" Jean repeated.
Kurt cut through Burt's voice. "From the moment I've met him, all he's done is ruin our lives. He's continuously tried to get into Blaine's pants, made crude sexual references about him, and he's on multiple occasions tried to steal Blaine away from me, to the point where that slushie he's hit Blaine with accidentally was meant to throw me out of the picture!"
There was nothing but silence then.
Jean slammed his fist towards the coffee table, spilling some of the filled coffee cup onto the white pristine tea plate it was in. He then turned to look at Sebastian, chest heaving. "What did I say about taking care of your little fucking problem?"
Sebastian stared at his Father, without saying a word. His face visibly paled and Jean snapped. "I can't believe I ever raised a whore like you. You disgust me. You're a disgrace. And by God, if you think you can ever…ever… walk into my doorsteps again, you've got another thing coming, you faggot."
"Hey," Burt suddenly pitched in. "He's just a kid. He's not a disease—"
"Might as well be a disease."
"I don't ever want to see your face again. Throwing yourself around to not only a boy, but one with a relationship—this is apparently what I raised you to be. What will people say, Sebastian? What will think they of me?" Sebastian shut his eyes and then slowly nodded his head because he can't say anything. "No son of mine goes around jumping in bed with every single man they see. No son of mine is a faggot. Understand? And don't bother calling Nona. She won't get you out of anything this time."
Burt was now standing up, eyes looking rather wild. "You can't disown the kid! He's got nowhere to go! You can't do that to him!"
Jean laughed as if he didn't seem to give a damn, looking back at Sebastian. "He is nothing to me. He doesn't belong to my family any longer. I don't give a damn if he ends up starved and dead by the end of the week. And yes, I can do this to him."
Jean's eyes were onto Sebastian's face. "Stand up. Right now."
Sebastian nodded, as Jean forcefully grabbed Sebastian's hand, tearing the watch that Kurt knew was implanted at Sebastian's hand at all time. Jean didn't even say anything as he shoved Sebastian down vehemently.
"Wow, Sebastian, you royally fucked up this time." Jean's voice was colder this time. "And one more thing, Sebastian, go fucking kill yourself. I'm through tolerating you. I'm through with pretending that you're not a lost cause," Jean snapped again. Burt's eyes were wide with horror by the time that Jean had ended that statement and before he'd left, he'd slapped Sebastian. By then, Carole had let out a fearful sound, as her hand was over er mouth. Sebastian's eyes was following his Father as he watched his Father leave the doorway, trying to process with what had just happened to him.
The door shut tightly.
Sebastian was looking down at his wrist, and rubbing the naked, exposed area in which his – his Father's – watch was once there. Sebastian had shut his eyes, and then had tears burning into his eyes. By the time he'd opened them again, his eyes were bloodshot, and tears were slipping down his eyes. He started sobbing. Sebastian made a movement to stand up again and then was just about to leave when Burt's hand grabbed onto his wrist. "Hey, hey," Burt called out. "Kiddo, you can't leave—you've got nowhere to go."
Sebastian just let out another heart-wrenching sob, as he dropped down to his knees, wrapping his head around his hands, not wanting anyone to see his face. Blaine and Kurt rushed to the Dalton boy, Blaine grabbing onto his hand as Burt tried to pat his shoulder. "Come on. Let it all out. Alright?"
Carole and Finn disappeared and walked towards the fallen Sebastian. Kurt tried to hold onto Sebastian's arms but he'd ended up grabbing onto Kurt's chest and pulling him close. The feel of Sebastian's tear-soaked face against his white Chanel shirt made him feel queasy. "Calm down, Bas, okay?"
"D-d-d-don't look at me," Sebastian said through his fits of sobs, obviously ashamed to have people stare at him at such a vulnerable position.
"Shh," Carole tried to comfort him, tucking behind a strand of hair behind Sebastian's ear. Sebastian had stopped sobbing after a while but Kurt was still holding onto him. "Sweetie, it's gonna be okay," she tried to assure Sebastian now that he'd stopped sobbing but tears were still falling from his face, hot against Kurt's shirt. "Do you have anyone who would take care of you, honey?"
Sebastian just stared at her, now fully serious as he stood up, and nodded his head. Kurt couldn't pretend that he didn't notice Sebastian's depressed face. Burt was holding onto his shoulder, squeezing it. "Come on, Sebastian. Phone's upstairs, okay?" Sebastian didn't show signs of acknowledging Burt as he nodded his head. Kurt just stared at Sebastian, almost as if an entire country had been wiped out of the map—his stomach was sloshing with guilt. He wished he'd never brought up this idea and Blaine was holding onto his hand, tightly squeezing it and he knew that he had the same thought right about then.
Burt had transcended from upstairs after a while, Sebastian with him. "Called my sister," Sebastian said, voice scratchy. "She'll come by in an hour so you only have to have me for that long," he stated again, no point in hiding how miserable he looked and felt like right then.
"Bastian, what he did to you was wrong," Blaine suddenly stated. "Don't think you're intruding. We want to help you."
"Funny how just an hour ago, you were alright with confronting me to someone whose even more ruthless than the law itself. I'd rather you'd just had me suspended from Dalton than disowned," Sebastian retorted coldly but from his voice, Kurt knew it took him a lot of anger and frustration to even make a remark because he sounded so exhausted that Kurt couldn't find it in him to stay made.
"Sebastian," Finn began, voice soft, "…you can stay for dinner?" he offered.
"Yeah, that's a good idea," Kurt nodded. Sebastian didn't protest as he sat by the table. He still felt like he was intruding because he was pretty sure dinners weren't supposed to be awkward. Carole wished she had something other than spaghetti for him, because Sebastian didn't seem to have that much of an appetite, as he pushed around the meatballs for a good fifteen minutes, staring at the whole-wheat pasta with no expression.
Carole frowned at Sebastian. "Honey, I'm so sorry I don't have anything else I can give you. It must be difficult but depriving yourself of food isn't going to solve anything."
Sebastian pushed the plate away.
Kurt shut his eyes as Sebastian heard the doorbell ring. He stood up, stared at his wrist again as if he still can't believe that the watch wasn't there as he walked towards the doorway. He heard Finn say something along the lines of "Dude, if you need anything, we're here!" before Sebastian left the doorway. When he'd seen Andrea in her car, looking worried, Sebastian's facial expression didn't change from the expressionless one he'd suddenly acquired as he opened the door, and shut it tightly. He'd spent the rest of the car ride, staring at Andrea's watch.