A/N; Uhm, hallo c: tis me again… With another late update, guys. I'm sorry… I know I suck, punish me later though T_T (oh baby~) haha… I'm sorry for being creepy; it just means I love you. Ahem, anyways, onwards~ (OH YEAH. And for Dami-desu: no, but I wish I had a Grimm-kitty plushie, although it would never be clean, if ya catch my drift, heh~ And 'nilla milkshakes, fer the win baby~ talk to me sometimes :D)

Warning; This is a YAOI fanfic! There is smut, or boy on boy action here! If this ain't yer cup o' tea then please skiddadle! Rough language, alcohol, smoking, violence. AU and slight OOC, I skip around with the POV (Point of Views) quite often. Un-beta'ed, so there are more than likely a few mistakes.

Disclaimer; I own absolutely nothing, I make no money off of these fics. It all belongs to Tite Kubo. Because if I owned this anime/manga, there would be a lot less fight and a lot more… heh…

Normal = Present time

Italicized = Past time

Shirosaki's POV

I couldn't sleep one bit. Not ONE fuckin' bit. After that phenomenal fuckin' head that Ichi had given me, I felt like I was ready to sleep for days; I was that satisfied. But then the kid pulled a fuckin' 180 and went right back to sleep after that.

What an asshole.

I stayed up all night just staring at the back of his head; even if there were no lights besides the dull beams of moonlight through closed curtains leaking into the room, Ichi's hair was still practically glowing, almost like a traffic cone against the stark contrast of an onyx pavement. I almost gave myself a migraine with how hard I was concentrating on the figure of my aibou, I just couldn't figure this shit out: he acts completely normal with everything around him except for me, even going as far as ignoring any lip locking action that I might just want to participate in.

A small growl escaped the confines of my chest as I felt the warm, fuzziness of fatigue taking toll on my body, but not my mind. It's a weird feeling, really. It was almost if my mind knew that I was tired, but my head wouldn't give me the fucking privilege of just being able to sleep. I took note of how Ichi's chest fell and expanded as he breathed softly, a small puff of air following in tandem. He looked so peaceful from my perspective despite his back looked like it was full of knots from stress and kami knows what else.

Damn. This was going to be rough. Now time to try and fall asleep again.

-Next few months, November-

Normal POV

Cocoa orbs shifted from side to side nervously down the empty streets before Ichigo adjusted the thick coat around himself, trying to protect his chest from the biting edge of the autumn wind. The oranget quickly shifted to the apartment complex across the stree in the coldt, keeping his head down as low as possible while he did so.

'Fuck.. Why am I doing this again..?' Ichigo whined internally as he slowed his gait to the door.

A small shiver traveled up the length of the orange head's body while his cheeks became redder than what they already were, the wind was being really fucking annoying right now and wasn't helping. A small puff of hot air left the berry's lips as he stared at the door in front of himself with determined eyes. He knew he wasn't a coward, so he wasn't exactly sure why he was so terrified right about now. Perfect white teeth bit down on a plump bottom lip as Ichigo lifted a timid fist to rap on the door three times, hesitantly at first, then it became louder by the third.

First there was silence for a few seconds. Then the orange head heard the distinct sound of grumbling behind the door and heavy footsteps gradually becoming louder. A pause, then suddenly the door opened wide to reveal a very surprised Grimmjow; arms across a thermal covered chest and a fine blue brow raised.

"Mmm, berry? What're ya doin' here….?"

The latter's courage let up ever so slightly at the deep rumbling of his ex-lover's quiet voice, his eyes retreated to his feet before clearing his throat prominently. He used his right foot to wipe off some snow from his other foot as he retorted quietly.

"Uhm, can we talk for a little?"

Grimmjow leaned his heavy frame against the frame of his door as his eyes narrowed ever so slightly, his gaze still locked on the berry. Ichigo didn't have to look up to know the immensity of the heated glare directed at the top of his head.

"I dunno, berry. Yer crazy boyfriend ain't here, is he?"

A strong back stiffened as Ichigo lifted his gaze ever so slightly at Grimmjow before he snapped quickly. "No, he isn't, now let me in before I fucking freeze out here, jackass."

The taller of the men let his scowl slowly morph into a lopsided smirk before his chest rumbled with an amused scoff. Grimmjow was happy to see that the fire Ichigo was known for wasn't gone just yet. He stepped aside with his arm outstretched towards the inside of his home, his gaze never leaving the orange head.

"Alright, I'd rather not get sued fer yer ass getting frostbite, so c'mon in."

Shirosaki's POV

I let out what seemed like the millionth sigh for the day as I looked outside the dirty fuckin' window of this café I was workin' at to the white stuff falling from the sky onto the ground below and piling up slowly but surely.

Ichigo said it was called, snow.

About a month ago, Ichigo suggested that I stared working somewhere since I got bored way too easily, and now that the berry was working too I couldn't spend all my time with the sexy bitch. He hooked me up with this job at a café one of his dad's friends owned called Café Tart the owner's name was Byakuya Kuchiki. The guy was kind of an asshole, but Ichigo told him about my predicament and in the end all I had to do was interview, show I knew how to use the machine and the gig was mine. At first it was kinda scary, cuz when it steams it makes this hissing noise and I almost messed my pants, but I got over it. Ichi also said that he needed to contribute to the house more than just washing the dishes every night with Yuzu, so that was fair.

I guess.

It was cold outside, really cold outside. Like, to the point where just the breeze that came in when someone opened the door to come inside froze yer nuts off and made you wanna knit a damn sweater, thank kami that there weren't many people coming in today.

Which was weird, because normally people came in when it was cold out to mooch off of our free wifi and sip some overpriced lattes, so a slow day here on these kind of days was rare.

"Keep your head up, Shiro-san! We still have at least another 3 hours before you can go and fall asleep!" piped an annoying voice.

I snarled low in my throat as I sent daggers via eye contact to the source of the voice. The man had pale blond hair that looked it had a tornado taken to it with bright steely eyes. The look on my face went either completely ignored or unnoticed by the overly joyous man, it pissed me off.

"Can it, Urahara. We 'avent had a customer in 30 minutes, and it's the early shift! Stop bein' so damn loud!"

The blond only laughed as he fanned his face with his green and beige fan (where the hell did he pull it out of?!) as he continued with his annoying ass voice.

"Ah Shi-san don't be such a gloom, it wasn't supposed to agitate you I was only trying to help!"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes as I leaned against the counter again with my crossed arms supporting my chin, I sighed as I continued to watch the snow.

"Well it ain't helpin'. I just wanna get back to my place."

Ichigo's POV

I laughed as I watched Grimmjow make the most ridiculous faces and motions as he motioned about how he had gotten into this fight with a bartender a few years ago. I'd never tell him, but Grimm tended to be very expressive with his hands whenever he talked, not in a gay or overly feminine fashion, but just very exuberant and exaggerated, it was hilarious.

Blue eyes locked onto to me before Grimm stopped abruptly, he had an annoyed face now. I couldn't help it, I laughed for real this time.

"Wha's so funny berry?"

I shook my head and grinned wide. "No nothing, I was listening, go on please."

The blunet seemed somewhat pleased and continued with his story, arms flailing around anew.

After Grimmjow let me into his house, I had apologized to him about the misunderstanding with Shiro, yelling at him and even for hitting him even though I knew he hadn't meant to hit me. For the first time in what seemed like years, Grimmjow actually looked sad before he pulled me into his thick chest and hugged me tight.

"I'm sorry too.. I wasn't tryin' ta hit cha. And I shouldn't have been fighting with yer boyfriend either. I guess it was nerves tha' got ta me. It won't happen again, I know ya love him, Ichi."


I tried my damnest not to look away from his piercing blue gaze when he said that. I still hadn't told him about the fight Shiro and I had, and how he had hurt me, because well damn, I won't tell anyone about that. And especially my ex who will do one of two things; one, kill my stupid boyfriend. Or two, laugh at me and say I told you so. No fucking thank you.

That was strictly between me and Shirosaki.

After when got past the awkwardness he sat us down and we just started talking about our day, our jobs, and other stuff we hadn't had a chance to talk about at that point. Notice how I didn't include Shirosaki in any of that?

Yeah, I was going to go ahead and keep it that way.

"Ne, berry?"

I snapped out of my thoughts before looking at Grimm and grunting out an answer that slightly resembled a "yeah?".

He chuckled lowly before standing up from where he was sitting directly across from me. I looked up at him as he twisted to stretch his joints carefully before his eyes landed back to me.

"I was gonna make some hot chocolate, ya want some too?"

I grinned and nodded my head up and down, not giving a flying shit if I looked like a little kid to him, which I probably did because Grimm barked in laughter the moment I did.

I watched as Grimm walked over to the small kitchenette and digging around his cupboards for all the right ingredients and mugs after he set a kettle of water to boil on the stovetop. A small vibration in my pants pocket caught my attention, so I snatched the small plastic device from my front pocket before I flipped the screen open and read the small black lettering.

"You enjoying your day off?"

I chuckled before I responded quickly to my old friend, Renji Abarai.

"Yeah, what about you?"

I clicked send before yawning quietly and stretching my own body out, thinking of my loud friend.

Renji and I had known each other for years now, perhaps as long as I had known Grimmjow. The guy had riotous red hair that was almost always pulled back into a ponytail, and the guy was covered from head to toe in tribal tattoos since the beginning of high school. But the most notable thing about the guy had to be his loud attitude, he couldn't walk down the street without people giving him weird looks from how loud and blunt he was. I certainly hadn't forgotten the first time that I had met him.

I stared down at my algebra assignment, guilt welling up in my stomach as I thought about how pissed my dad would be if he found out this was going to be my 4th missing assignment in 2 weeks. I quickly began sketching in random answers and formulas as quickly as I possibly could.


I looked up and saw this kid standing over my seat, just staring at me.

"Hi. Now go away." I muttered, before letting my eyes fall back to the paper, determined to get this thing finished.

"Why'd you dye your hair THAT fuckin' orange, kid?"

I felt a vein in my temple twitch as I looked back at the annoying kid. I glared at him before standing up; he was only a few inches taller than me but I still tried to stare him down.

"Hey, this ain't dyed, it's my natural hair color. Now leave me alone you monkey." I snapped back at him.

"But it's so freakin' orange, fruit cup!" he whined in retort.

"Yeah? And yours looks like it was left out in the sun too long!"

The boy stayed quiet for a moment. "….Touché, parking cone head."


"Rise an' shine."

"CHILI PEPPER!" I finally yelled.

"Abarai! Kurosaki! To the office right now! That's enough of your ridiculous argument!" yelled our pint sized homeroom teacher, Ms. Fon. She was the crankiest bitch in the school that anyone had ever had the displeasure of meeting.

Me and this Abarai kid looked over at eachother simultaneously before we turned to look at our feet and muttered in tandem.

"PMSing bitch."

No one had ever seen Ms. Fon's face get that red from yelling, and I had never laughed harder as Abarai and I walked our way down to Principal Yamamoto's office. When we finally caught our breaths, Abarai looked over at me with crinkled eyes and grinned like a damn monkey.

"So, what's yer name, rise an' shine?"

I laughed at the new name and looked back at the weird kid. "Ichigo. Ichigo Kurosaki. Yours?"

"Renji Abarai, bro.


"….So you wanna be friends?"

I laughed again as he gave me a weird look, I only stopped to respond simply.

"That was pretty gay, of course we can."

Then we burst out in a whole new fit of laughter. Ever since then we became almost inseparable.

Soon afterwards, I had found out that he worked at the pawn shop that I applied to, and we began talking again after I had snagged the job. Sure, we were talking to each other before that but not even nearly as much. The guy was still annoying as fuck, but was an awesome friend that I could tell almost anything to, not as much as Grimmjow but definitely up there on my list.

"Whipped cream?"

I chuckled as I closed my eyes and whiffed the heavenly smell of cocoa that had finally reached its way over to me on the couch.

"Is that even a question? Layer that shit on there."

Grimmjow only laughed before I heard the swooshing sound of the whipped cream leaving the confines of the condensed can and onto the top of the mug. I opened my eyes as I heard Grimm approach me with his outstretched arm offering possibly the biggest mug of hot chocolate I have ever witnessed; it was heavy enough to be practically full with a tower of melting whipped cream on top, sprinkled with cocoa nubs and powder and a vanilla wafer sticking out from the side, a few fat marshmallows were also in the process of drowning in the sea of whipped cream, practically blending in. Was that also an underlying smell of peppermint I smelled in there? Fuck I hope so.

I practically snatched the mug out of Grimmjow's big hand before thanking him and taking another greedy wiff of the stuff; the sweet scent clouding up my thoughts and making my mouth water. I was about to take a gulp before Grimmjow spoke.

"So uhm, where is yer boyfriend, anyways?"

I looked up at him as he carefully sat down on the chair across from me again; his eyes were trained on me even as he sipped at his fresh cocoa carefully. I cradled my own mug as I looked down at the drink before I spoke.

"He's uhm, working, right now…"

"Oh yeah?" muttered Grimm as he sipped again. "where at?"

"Mmm, he works at this coffee shop as a barista. He likes it there."

"Tha's good. How is he?"

I stiffened as I stared down at my feet, my subconscious started to kick as I absently mindedly began drumming the tips of my fingers against the ceramic mug, I thought for a moment about not responding at all, that was until Grimm grunted in impatience for my answer.

"I'm… not exactly sure." I finally muttered.

"Waddya mean ya don' know?" he threw back.

I sighed and began. "he's been acting all weird. I'm not sure what is going through his mind right now." I finally took a sip of my cocoa before continuing on. "he's just kinda cold and— Grimm? Is there fuckin' alcohol in this drink?" I made a face as I realized the undeniable bitter taste of alcohol hitting my tongue, warming my blood.

The blue haired menace's face went from serious to devilish as he let out a loud bark of laughter; I only looked at this psycho incredulously.

"Hey, there ain't such a thing as startin' the party too early!"

"What's in this?" I pushed.

"*Hot Cocoberry. Nice taste, eh? I finally perfected it."

Now I couldn't argue with that logic, this stuff was pretty damn good, I must admit. I cautiously took another sip of the concoction which only made Grimm smile proudly when my face melted from how damn good the drink was. I took another few sips of the heavenly liquid.

"Yeah, it is pretty god I guess."

"Thanks berry." Grimm set his own mug onto the coffee table in between as before leaning his forearms onto his knees and the rest of his body forward, his eyes becoming hard and focused on me again. Had I not know him forever, this would've probably made me very uncomfortable.

"So now, go on about Shiro again, what's going on?" he spoke slowly.

I swallowed another gulp of the cocoa before my eyes met his tropical blues. I knew I wasn't going to get out of this one without spilling everything kept inside of me.

I curled my legs under me onto the couch before I decided to quietly continue. "I don't think he feels the same way I feel for him." that was the understatement of the century. "And I feel like I'm getting too… attached."

A blue brow quirked up as the man across from me opened his mouth to speak. I only raised my palm to him, it made him quiet.

"Please. Just hush and don't judge. I want to tell you what's going on, remember?"

An exasperated sigh left the confines of Grimmjow's chest but surprisingly, he nodded his head in an affirmative, allowing me to speak.

"Ok. Thanks Grimm. But anyways. We were having this fight and well… He was just saying these really awful things, it really hurt and although I'd hate to say it, I had already really started trusting him. So when he was yelling at me I kinda figured out that well.. I guess he doesn't love me the way I'd like him to. I just- I don't know, I feel like I'm a toy, just a plaything for a while. And now he just seems to always be on edge, he isn't even all cocky and loud like he used to be, it's making me worried as fuck, Grimm…"

Grimmjow seemed to be lost as he searched through his thoughts before lifting his eyes back to me again. "So, am I allowed to say something now?"

"It depends" I said carefully.

"I ain't gonna judge ya, if that's whatcha think I'm gonna do." He grunted defensively.

I laughed sadly before I offered Grimmjow a smile. "Yeah, ok, what?"

He took his time taking his mug and taking another swig from the bittersweet drink, relishing in the way the alcohol tangled around his tongue. I waited patiently before he pulled away. His voice was rough, and lightly strained. "Do you honestly love this guy, Ichi?"

I interlined my fingers and stared at them for a while, just thinking about Shirosaki and everything we've been through, our relationship, the way he talks, the things he does. Was I sure I loved him? Was I alright with all the shit he's been pulling lately? Is it ok for me to be ok with it? Do I truly love him..?

Of course I do. He was everything to me. I'm an idiot, so yeah.

I looked back at Grimmjow with a forced smile forming at my lips already. "Yes, I do."

He chuckled softly before crossing his left ankle onto his right knee and leaning back. "Dumb, but I guess I kinda admire that. So what are you plannin' to do 'bout him?"

"Well. What I have been doing lately."

A blue brow quirked questioningly at that statement.

"I'm giving him the space he deserves… No matter how much it hurts me." I answered simply.

Shirosaki's POV

I sighed in happy fucking relief as I took off that stupid apron they made us wear at the café and hung it on the rack in the back of the kitchen where the rest of them went. I made sure to clean out to machines and tins, also made sure to throw away the empty syrup bottles and full trash bags. I happily skipped over to Urahara and stood in front of him. I rocked back and forth on the balls of me feet with my arms crossed behind my back as I reminded him in the most annoying sing-song voice ever.

"Today's payday, ya know."

The blond only chuckled as he made his way over to his table and unlocking one of the drawers and slipping out a small rectangular piece of paper and slapping it onto the wooden surface.

"Ma ma, I know that."

I snickered and waited for him to sign the check and let me go on my merry fuckin way. Working on the days when the head works also has its perks, ya know.

"Alright now to sign it over to…"

I noticed that his hand froze in place with the black pen as he seemed to be stumped for a moment as he stared intently first at the check then at me with those steel grey eyes of his. He looked like he was thinking as hard as he possibly could. I raised an eyebrow as his weird antics before putting my hands on my hips.

"Shirosaki, remember? C'mon Urahara, ya 'have done this atleast a dozen times by now. Ya didn't ferget how ta spell it didja?"

He continued to stare at me as if he legitimately had no idea who I was. I cocked my head to the side and let my eyes narrow.


Then the weirdest thing happened.

He blinked and gave me one his dumb grins before he quickly scribbled my name onto the line of the check. Any signs of confusion were completely gone and were replaced with his regular mannerisms in record time. Almost like it never happened. When he finished he handed me the piece of paper and quipped.

"Of course I know you, Shiro-san! Have a nice day and stay warm!~"

I looked at him questioningly before I stuffed the check into the pocket of my jeans and turned away, thanking him. After I put on my jacket and wool scarf, I opened the door to the café, making the little bell at the top of it jingle happily, before I walked out into the freezing abyss, thinking of that weird look Urahara was giving me.

He looked lost. Like he was put face to face with a complete stranger. And as quickly as it came it was gone.

"Weird fuckin' guy, alright" I mumbled as I trudged on through the unforgiving snow.

*Hot Cocoberry - A form of adult hot chocolate that has been spiked with coconut rum and raspberry liquor.

Yay!~ I'm back I'm back~ Anyone miss me? Anyone? No? Alright then ;~;

Anyways, terribly sorry for the wait, school's been hell since it's my last year; college and work await me! I'm so nervous I feel like I'm gonna pee myself T_T (that's gross, Dani.) I know, I'm sorry D;

But yeah. Sorry there was no smut, there will be in the next chappy, and yes, I AM workin on my other fic AND a sexy one-shot for you dirty little smut critters out there~ That's for YOU, babeh~ So remember, don't forget to leave a review on this story here (they're like shakes and cupcakes~), PM me to chat, ask me questions, check out my other stuff if ya haven't yet and stay tuned for my next surprise! Thank you all so much~ I'm gonna go cuddle with my Pocky and pillow now, Ja na my loves~

-Your humble Servant,