Oh my God. Oh my God.

I'm back.

WOOOOW. I cannot believe I am such a let-down!

BIG BIG BIG thank you (and sorry) to everyone who reads and keeps commenting, you people are absolute PERFECTION.

Love you all, and brofist!xxx

We made it home, after a few hours of running, Dad still muttering 'You little shit..' darkly under his breath.

By the time we made it back, after Santa was worn out from trying to jog to keep up with us, there were lights on back at the house and I could see the outline of Mom pacing anxiously in our living room.

Me and Dad stopped, both out of breath, and he took a moment to put his hand on my shoulder.

"Son..." he started, his fingers kneading like dough. "I hope you realise..."

I turned to look at him, a smile creasing my face.

"...what an absolute little shit you are!" he suddenly burst out, fingers digging hard into my shoulder, shaking me slightly.

"What?" I mouthed, my eyes widening.

"You're mother is half demented, my Anton is blown up... All I really have is you... Disgraaaaaaaace!" he hissed, shaking me again.

"I...I...I'm sorry, Dad, I love you." I said pathetically, before Dad poked me in the eye.

"Disgraces never get my loooove!" he said, pushing me toward the house.

As we walked, I sniffed, my nose dripping, my eyes flowing with tears. Strangely, they were tears more of joy.

I froze when I saw a red splat on the wall and ground on the house, and pointed at it curiously, not having to ask.

"Yes, that was Anton. Fucking disgrace. How can someone so perfect just blow up? I thought that would be impossibru!" Dad thundered, before opening the back door and letting me through.

"JB!" Mom cried, racing towards me and enveloping me in a warm, familiar, loving hug.

"Mommy!" I yelled happily, hugging her back.

"Tchuh." Dad tutted unemotionally, folding his arms.

Mom started kissing me happily on the cheeks, and I hugged her even harder, even drowning out Dad's comments ("Don't kiss him like that, I don't want him turning more into a homosexual." and "God, you're ass is fat.").

"Oh, JB, I'm so glad you're home!" Mom said, kissing my forehead softly.

"Me too!" I grinned, smiling at Dad.

"Don't put those disgrace eyes on me, gay." he spat, flicking his hair sassily*.

"Oh, JB, we're so happy!" Mom repeated, before rushing me to the kitchen to bake a pie.

"Not another one, wife." Dad critisised. "I don't want the disgrace getting too fat. He'd fall off my bike."

"Oh yes, darling," Mom whirled round to me. "You're father is taking you cycling tomorrow! Like you used to!"

"Oh, good!" I trilled, clapping.

Dad rolled his eyes. "You'd better be ready, son."

*is that even a word? XD

WELL, there you have it, a short, crappy return. I wonder what our favourite unloving dad has in store for JB.

SO, I am going to try SO HARD with this fanfiction and keep it going, I'm so sorry for being an absolute TOOL and going, meh.

I will try to make further chapters better, and please forgive this douchebag for not doing anything for the past months.

(btw I'm starting GCSE's, so it's a little bit difficult at the moment.)

So, I'll TRY and keep posted, thank you, sorry, and bye. :)