A/N: On one of the tumblrs I run, Twinings and I offered ourselves up for one full week of filling fic prompts for our readers, varying in length from a hundred to a thousand-plus words. The project has been dubbed the Free For All Fic For All—or FFAFFA for short. This is one of those stories—and this is the boilerplate author's note you'll see on all of 'em.

Prompt: It's spoilery, so I've saved it for the end.


When the Gotham Metropolitan Museum of Art's silent alarm sounded, Batman was there inside of thirty seconds. The police, he knew, wouldn't arrive for another six minutes at least, which gave him more than enough time to apprehend the intruder.

That wouldn't matter, though. He knew from the point of entry—the third skylight on the west side of the building—that this wasn't a real robbery. Catwoman was trying to get his attention in her usual subtle way. If he knew her at all, she would most likely be casually lounging in the arms of one of the muscular bronze statues in the lobby, whip in hand, its length coiled on the floor in front of her.

He dropped through the skylight and landed without a sound. The lobby was empty, but he caught a flash of shiny black leather out of the corner of his eye. He followed it.

Past the room full of still lifes and several travelling exhibitions, into the gallery of modern sculpture. Several large, permanent installations graced this room; he deduced she was probably hiding behind The Widow, a sculpture that resembled a tall, curvy, half-melted candle, bent over and reaching for something.

"Took you long enough," her velvet voice beckoned from the shadows, barely more than a whisper.

"Catwoman…"

A deep and throaty giggle was the only response she gave.

"I don't know what you're up to…" He caught a glimpse of her green, green eyes in the dark before she disappeared again, ducking behind another statue, this one titled The Mark, a circular sculpture with a hole in the center that framed her perfectly from the waist up.

"Why don't you come over and see?"

"Selina…" There was more than a little warning in his tone.

"Don't be such a scaredy bat," she quietly teased.

Batman crossed the room, expecting her to retreat again, but she didn't. Instead, she reached for him, sliding her arms around his neck. "See? I just wanted to play post office."

"This is not the way to do it."

Their lips met in the briefest of touches.

He realized his mistake immediately, but there was little to be done about it.

Batman's lips tingled and his jaw went slack, eyes getting glassier by the second. The skin on his face grew pale, the veins becoming greener and more pronounced beneath the skin. She released him, smirking, as his whole form stiffened.

After peeling her gloves off one at a time, she pulled off the Catwoman cowl, shaking loose a tumble of crimson curls.

Poison Ivy sighed with pleasure, reached out and cupped his chin in her hand. "Now, Batman. Let's talk about all the things you're going to do for me…"


Prompt: Poison Ivy dresses up as Catwoman.