As from idiocy and supreme thought, I have found the perfect move for the Fireball weapon (As you'll all soon know). Anyway, all I can say is: Prepare for some stupidity!

Poké Story: Chapter 4 or 5: Fracking Around the Village, the Cowardly Loner & Shiny Bunny.

"Well... I wonder what the hell to do" Umbreon wondered.

"You could try talking to me" Jack randomly said.

"Where the #!%& did you come from?"

"I was standing here, watching you for the past 30 minutes."

"Really? I was sitting here, wondering the meaning of life."

"Enough of your stupidity! Do you know why I'm here?" Jack asked.

"Are you saying I'm stupid? I guess I outta get my M16 machine gun out!" Umbreon yelled.

"You dont have a machine gun, and you didnt answer my question."

"Dammit, I've been found out!" Umbreon shrieked, running into a wall, "Oh, and I dont know why your here."

"I'm here, cause you probally forgot what your supposed to do, and due to the fact that the programmers made me stay here, is because of some random sh!t happened over there.

"Well, I guess theres one thing to do!" Umbreon proclaimed.

"And that is?"

Umbreon instantly tackled Jack to the floor and punched him to the face mercilessly, "HOW! ABOUT! I! GIVE! YOU! SOMETHING! IMPORTANT! TO! SAY! TO! YOUR! FACE!"

Jack couldnt respond because his face was badly bruised, and his skull was probally fractured.

Umbreon gave up about 20 minutes later, as his fists were covered in blood, or pokémon blood, or whatever the hell it is! He exited Arthur's house and heard someone scream.


"SHUT YOUR #!%&ING TRAP!" King snapped at her, "Toroko has been taken by mistake because of you!"

"Me? What the hell did I do?" Sue asked.

"Being a sissy little bi%ch who hides in a locked up house, until recent events."

"Okay... but what if -"

"One way, or a #!%&ing another, I will hand you over to them! Literally!"

"I HATE YOU!" Sue yelled.

"If Toroko isnt save, I'm gonna tear you apart!"

"LOL, thats what she said!" Umbreon said after he heard their entire conversation.

Umbreon then made his way up to where Sue and King where, but he stopped when he found the Munchlax again.

"HEY MUNCHY! WANNA HEAR A JOKE?" Umbreon yelled and/or asked.

"What the - NO!" the Munchlax responded, kicking Umbreon in the crotch, sending him flying away.

Umbreon flew into a wall of Arthur's house and fell to the ground face first.


"I'd like to see him try!" Umbreon screamed before heading back to the pissed off Munchlax.

Umbreon's corpse landed in front of the door of Arthur's house, without any legs attached 2 seconds later.

"Note to self: Dont EVER approach a very pissed off Munchlax, or anybody who is pissed off, ever again" Umbreon said, once he reappeared in Arthur's house.

"Uhh... why do you say that?" Jack randomly asked, covered in many bandages.

"BECAUSE THEY WILL KILL ME! AS THEY WERE MEANT TO BE!" Umbreon raged, "Wait, what? And I did rhyme thingy."

Jack, too stupid to say anything, was staring at Umbreon.

Umbreon beat him mercilessly again, for absolutely no good reason.

Umbreon exited out of Arthur's house, for the second time and went to see what was up with Sue and King.

Umbreon stopped halfway to give the Munchlax the middle finger, who was sitting aganist the wall, eating something that cant be described in detail.

Once at the top of the village, Umbreon found Sue in a cage and King facing away from her.

"OH MAH GAWD! UMBREON! YOU'RE HERE! QUICKLY GET ME OUTTA THIS CAGE!" Sue yelled at him once she saw him.

"I wouldnt do that if I were you..." King said, sitting aganist a rock, sharpening a sword.

"Uhh... as much as I would love to get you outta there, I would rather have my head, instead of it being chopped off" Umbreon said to Sue, eyeing King's look on his face.

"Great... just absolutely great..." Sue muttered.

"What is?" both Umbreon and King asked.

"Well, due to the fact that I cant save my brother, from starving to death, I'm gonna have to rely on Umbreon to go save him..." Sue groaned.

"WAIT WHAT?" Umbreon shrieked, "WHY ME? WHY NOW?"

"Oh, no way jose!" King said, "This bi%ch is gonna pay for what she did to Toroko! I am sure of it!"

"Okay, I wanna someone's dead body, if Toroko isnt safe."

Sue glared at Umbreon, causing him to whimper in fear.

"Aw... she scared Umbreon... how adorable" King sighed.

"ADORABLE? I'LL SHOW YOU ADORABLE!" Umbreon yelled, tackling King off the platform they were on, having a fist fight in mid-air.

Exactly 3 days later, Umbreon and King came back to Sue, who is still stuck in the cage, covered in bandages and each having a hospital bill in their hand (or paw).

"The hell happened to you two?" Sue asked when she noticed their presense.

"I have a brain trauma, and cant remember what happened exactly 2 seconds ago" Umbreon said.

"We fell off this platform and we landed on some random spikes, that never should have been there in the first place, and ended up in a hospital, that this village doesnt have, for three days" King muttered.

"Well... I'm pretty sure my brother died of starvation about now, and I dont really care about him anymore" Sue said.



"Wait what?" Umbreon cut in.

"Oh well, the teleporter should have completed connecting to Bushlands right about now, if you want, you can explore that place" Sue mentioned to Umbreon.

"Really? Sweet!" Umbreon said, "time to go on an adventure!"

Umbreon idiotically fell off the platform and somehow managed to crawl his way into Arthur's house.

Once in Arthur's house, Umbreon got to the teleporter and teleported off to Bushlands.

Umbreon appeared at the bottom of some random placed area and had no idea of what the hell to do.

"I KNEW I WOULD FIND YOU HERE!" a familiar voice to Umbreon shouted.

"Oh Arceus, please help me..." Umbreon groaned, before being tackled by an extremely pissed off Vaporeon.


"Geez woman! Get a grip, that happened three full days ago, and yet you still hold a grudge about that?"

"APPARENTLY YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT HOW I WORK, AND I AM YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND!" Vaporeon roared, giving Umbreon a punch to the nose.

"HELP ME ARCEUS! FOR THE LOVE OF YOU! PLEASE HELP ME!" Umbreon managed to scream.

Somehow and someway Arceus appeared out of nowhere, kicking Vaporeon in her mid-section and used Judgement on her.

"THE PAIN! THE PAIN! OH THE FREAKING PAIN!" Vaporeon shrieked, somehow burning to death.

"Yo dawg, that go cost you some cash, motha #!%&a!" Arceus said, pretending to be gangster.

"Woah, woah, woah! I called you to help me, but now you say I must pay?" Umbreon asked.

"Yes, dammit! I'm #!%&ing Arceus! I hear all! I see all! I'm like God!"

Umbreon reached into his invisible, not existing pants pocket, pulled out a bill and handed it to Arceus.

Arceus examined the bill, but freaked out. "WHAT THE #!%& MAN! THIS IS A MONOPOLY BILL THATS WORTH $500!"

Arceus looked up to find Umbreon had already vanished.

"Dammit! I CURSE YOUR SOUL!" Arceus roared before disappearing.

Umbreon explored the place a little more, finding a convenient house which was locked. He then found another, magically platform hanging in mid-air by a chain.

"WHAT THE - Hey wait, aren't you a soldier from the surface?" An Uxie asked.

"You're the second one to ask that... WAIT! I THOUGHT THERE WAS ONLY ONE UXIE!" Umbreon replied.

"Truth is that I have some random sh!t powers that can clone stuff, even myself, but I cant do that anymore..." Uxie replied, "I thought the war was over..."

"What war? I was in a war?"

"Uhh... you must have amneisa, theres only one way to cure that, but I forget..." Uxie added, "Oh, if you wanna travel furthur, watch out for Raticates, they will try to crush you, and break the laws of pokémon... by... dammit what was it...! I forget, anyway, off ya go!" Uxie said shoving Umbreon off the platform thingy.

Umbreon fell right behind a platform who was very tired out.

"HOLY SH!T ITS RAINING POKÉMON!" a Delibird screamed.

"Huh? Chili space monkey dogs?" Umbreon moaned.

"Oh thank god, your alright! I thought I was gonna have a corpse in my front yard" the Delibird began, "Anyway my name is Santa nice to -"

"OH MY GOD! SANTA! I MET SANTA! I KNEW YOU WAS REAL!" Umbreon freaked out hugging Santa too tight.

"I'm... not... really Santa... Claus" Santa choked.

Umbreon instantly let go of him.

"Awkward moment..." Santa spoke.

Umbreon nodded in agreement.

"Anyway, when I went to get water and was attacked by huge rat-like creatures."

"Dude, your a fricking ice type, you could've just froze something then melted it... coming to think of it, why the hell do you live here?" Umbreon asked.

"I dunno, but even though I'm a damn ice type, I never learned any ice type moves so... yeah."

"Anyway, is there anymore to that incident that happened?"

"Yes, as I ran home I dropped my house key. Now I cant get into my home" Santa said, as a tear crawled down his face.

"If you are anyway, related to Santa Claus, I will help you. If not, I guess you'll be here awhile." Umbreon said.

"I'm his second cousin."

As Santa said that, Umbreon was gone in a flash.

"Well, time to help a member of Santa Claus' family! I'll get put on the good list for sure!"

Umbreon instantly came across a lot of Rattatas, who were the same colors as Egg Corridor, it's just that they can now fly with their tails.

"Oh... this is gonna be more difficult..." Umbreon groaned.

He managed to destroy all the Rattatas and Zubats before he found Santa's Key, but then three Raticates jumped outta nowhere and nearly flattened Umbreon.

They jumped much higher and flew farther then the Rattatas, but Umbreon managed to out run them and grabbed Santa's Key.

Umbreon, now exhausted, came running to Santa, with his key in his paw.

"Oh! Thats my key! Thank you!" Santa said, happily.

Santa then ran to his house, as Umbreon watch tiredly.

"Please come over, I have something nice for you." Santa siad, before entering his house.

"Ugh, I hope its something I can take over the world with..." Umbreon muttered before entering.

Once inside of Santa's house, Umbreon decided to go get what he wanted first, Santa's gift.

He then noticed a sign on the wall before heading up to Santa.

He read it out loud, "DANGER! This trap is an instant death! Use extreme caution!"

Umbreon then looked down, to find big, blood-stained spikes.

"Who the hell keeps a death trap in their house?" Umbreon asked.

"Uhh... Santa does" Vaporeon answered.

"Oh well, I'm off to recieve my present."

Umbreon rushed up to Santa, who was warming his feathers near the newly lit fire.

"Remind me to murder this guy later..." Vaporeon said to Umbreon.


"Oh, I honestly didnt expect you to come now, I thought you would be off to see Chako, and sh!t" Santa said, noticing Umbreon.

"Yeah, yeah whatever, now GIVE ME MY PRESENT! DAMMIT!" Umbreon yelled.

"My, my, you are an impatient one all right."


Santa, deciding not to argue, reluctantly handed Umbreon the wrapped present containing the move, Flare Blitz.

"Well, this move may be powerful, but I can only have four around me (on max level), until I could use it again..." Umbreon said, reading the note.

"Oh yeah, one more thing, if you wanna travel any further your gonna have to go through the fireplace in Chako's house" Santa added.

"Yeah, yeah, BYE!" Umbreon said, leaving.

Umbreon, now in bleeding heavily, got to Chako's house, and went inside.

He found a shiny Lopunny with a redish-pinkish bow tied around her ear.

"Hi, how may I help you?" Chako giggled.

"I am in no need of assistance at the moment, thank you" Umbreon replied.

"Wow, that thing you have there looks very dangerous! Say, are you a traveler?"

"I know it is, and I guess I am."

"Then I'm gonna call you, Mr. Traveler."

"Okay, thats no problem with me" Umbreon said, heading towards the fireplace.

Umbreon looked into the fireplace and saw a hole behind the flames, but couldnt get through.

"You wanna go through my fireplace?" Chako asked, "For that you're gonna need to get some Jellicent Juice."

"Thank you, but I could use a rest first..." Umbreon said, yawning afterward.

"Okay, you may have a little rest in my bed..." Chako said.

Umbreon happily got in the bed and went to sleep.


Umbreon felt very rested.

Umbreon then noticed that Chako was lying in the very same bed, right next to where he once was.


Umbreon removed the blankets and found that he was right... and then he looked in his non-existing bag, and found that Chako put her lipstick in there.


Well Umbreon got scared when he found out Chako was addicted to having sex... (O-O)

Flare Blitz came to me in a dream actually, I dont know why, but it came then.

Is Santa really related to Santa Claus? Or was he just #!%&ing with Umbreon? Oh well, we probably wont ever find out.

The Arceus part was a little add-on to the story, he may not return, but I might make him one time.

Reviews appreciated!