Chapter 1- All Mixed Up
A/N: There will be extreme abuse of drugs. Please do not read if you are faint of heart. *Injecting drugs is extremely dangerous, please do not try it at home(or anywhere, for that matter) It doesn't make you cool.*
Also, I don't want your bitching. I know your mother taught you that if you don't have anything nice to say, to not say it at all.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
I know a drugstore cowgirl, so afraid of getting bored.
She's always running from something, so many things ignored.
I might do that stuff if, it didn't make me feel like shit.
I'm on some old reality tip, so many trips in it.
Flyin' down the street again.
I tried to keep up.
You wore me out and left me ate up.
Now I wish you all the luck.
You're a butterfly in the wind without a care.
A pretty train crash to me
and I can't care.
I do, I don't, whatever.
-Beautiful Disaster, 311
Giddy could explain exactly how I feel right now. That, and a little bit anxious.
As I watch Jacob melting my love into a liquid and sucking it into the syringe, I twitch with anticipation. I say 'love' because it's one of only things in this world that makes me happy. The other thing is Rosalie. My best friend since we first met in the sixth grade.
I can't even say I love Jacob, and I never have said it to him, because I don't. He's someone who loves the same thing as me. We share common likes, and we share an apartment, a shitty one at that.
"Hold your arm out for me, baby." Jacob whispers softly.
He wraps part of a ripped t-shirt that we've began using as a tourniquet, tightly around my small bicep. Lining the needle up with my vein, my heart rate sky rockets and a wicked smile crosses my face.
"Damn, hurry it up." Rosalie and Emmett both mumble in unison.
As soon as the words leave their mouths, Jacob shoots the liquid heaven into my arm, then removes the ripped t-shirt. Instant peace and warmth spread through my veins, coursing through my body, making me dizzy with happiness. I open my eyes and try to correct my blurry vision but I just feel too damn good to even try. I hum along with my buzzing body, feeling as if I'm flying.
A tiny moan escapes me as another wave of overwhelming warmth takes over my body. I feel a hand on my chest, pushing me backwards, my head landing softly on the carpet below. I keep my legs crossed, and let the painkiller and the music playing in the background control my entire being. The music and Vicodin flowing through my veins lifting me up towards the sky like Simba.
My stomach falls suddenly, making my heart stammer in my chest.
"Oh, God..." I hear Rosalie mumble from beside me, lying her body against mine.
Obviously her high is just as amazing.
I laugh loudly. "God cannot answer your call right now, please leave a message."
I choke back more giggles and Rosalie bellows a laugh. "Beeeeeeeeeep."
The sound rings in my ears, making my eyes roll into the back of my head. I feel the soft gentle touch of Rosalie's arm across my hips, it sends shivers up my spine, causing my whole body to erupt into goosebumps.
It might just be the drug, but Rosalie and I always seem to get physical when we're high. We never go past kissing, or at least we haven't gotten there yet. Even if Jacob is my..boyfriend or whatever he wants to call himself, and Emmett's with Rosalie. I just think they like to watch...sick bastards.
You see, I've always had a thing for Rosalie. I'm far from a lesbian per say, but I do think she's amazing. Probably the most beautiful girl you'd ever meet. Any guy would die to be with Rosalie. Tall, sexy legs. Small waist, a medium sized chest. Long, straight, honey blonde hair. Piercing blue eyes. Amazing smile with perfect white teeth. Don't get me wrong, she's no where near the barbie type. She has quite a few tattoos and piercings, like me.
They are all in the sexiest places, in my opinion. She has branches of a tree with pink flowers going up the full length of both her sides, a lotus flower under her belly button by her left hip, and both our initials right under her right ear on her neck- we got the same tattoo right before we graduated.
And her piercings? Mmm. She has a curved barbell eyebrow piercing, and a monroe.
I snake my arm around Rosalie's back and rub soothing circles. Rosalie hums, setting her head in the crook of my neck. Her soft blue eyes meet my own as her fingers lightly skim my cheek, inviting my lips to hers.
"Fuck yeah," Emmett howls as he watches.
"Shut up, Em." Rosalie whispers loud enough for him to hear, her hot breath smothering my lips.
She gets up and straddles my hips, her lips lightly hovering over mine, her hair covering us like a tent. I giggle at how cute she looks, my body still floating from the high.
She presses her lips to mine, kissing them softly.
Soft turns rough, hot, and steamy in a matter of seconds, our hands roaming each others body. Exploring.
A shrill ringing causes me to tense beneath her, but it quickly stops, and we continue to get hot and heavy.
"Hello?" Mike's voice is a deep and raspy whisper. "Yeah man, let me ask her." I hear shuffling, and then, "Bella, how many painkillers you got to sell?" Mike asks.
"Enough." I mumble in between kisses.
"Damn babe, that's so sexy." Emmett says, sounding closer than he was before.
"She says she has enough to sell to you, come on over, dude." A pause, and then, "Yeah, It's been awhile, bro." He chuckles. "See ya soon."
"Who was that?" Emmett asks curiously.
I stop kissing Rosalie at the mention of this 'Cullen' kid. I've heard a lot about him, mostly good things.
I heard he's sexy in a tortured artist kind of way, but quiet and mostly keeps to himself. Talented with a guitar and piano. Generous, smokes a lot of weed, listens to good music, and has a couple tattoos. I also heard he's addicted to painkillers, like me. I've always wanted to meet this kid, but I never got to. This is the first time he'd be buying off me, which is odd, because James Holmes and I are the only dealers.
"Dude. I haven't seen Cullen in a good while." Emmett says.
"Yeah, I heard he's been in rehab." Mikes states casually.
Emmett bellows a laugh. "Rehab didn't work, I'm guessing."
Rosalie starts kissing my neck, causing me to grab a hold of her hips tightly. She moves back up to my mouth and kisses me roughly, making the guys howl and watch intently. Her hand travels up my shirt and grabs my right boob, teasing my nipple softly. I moan, traveling my hands up her sides and into her hair.
A loud clearing of someones throat causes us to stop and look in their direction. Rosalie quickly moves off and sits beside me. I fix my hair and adjust myself as best as I can, but I'm shaky.
When I look up, I see the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on. I can't help the smile on my face, it almost hurts. It's permanently frozen with a smile. My whole body breaks out into goosebumps and my heart rate skyrockets to the point where I can hear my heart beating loudly in my ears.
And my stomach? I don't know what's going on down there. Is this what they call 'butterflies'? Because, I think that would be an understatement.
Like shit...how beautiful can one guy be? His fucking eyes are like...the prettiest shade of green I've ever seen. Like the color of freshly cut grass, or a luminous forest. I've never seen eyes that vivid and striking, and his jaw is perfectly chiseled...
I want to lick it...
"Edward, this is my girlfriend, Bella." Jacob says icily.
I hold back a laugh at Jacob's possessive tone, but Edward seems to thinks it's funny, too. He didn't even try to hold back his chuckle.
"It's nice to meet you, Bella." Edward says in the most soothing velvet voice I've ever heard.
The sound of his voice makes my whole body shiver. His eyes on me feel like I'm in a blazing inferno. Would it be weird if I just went and attacked him with a hug? Because that's what my body wants to do right now.
"I...uh...I...it... goddammit," I huff. "It's nice to...meet you, too." I stammer softly, internally cursing myself for acting like such an idiot.
He smiles widely at me, causing my body to set further ablaze.
How could one guy do all this to me? I've never felt anything like this before in my life.
And his smile?
Is he sent from heaven?
I think he is.
He gives me a crooked grin, and I swear to God my thong is probably soaked now.
Or maybe it's me melting.
Rosalie clears her throat, setting her hand on my thigh and squeezing tightly, making me jump a little. "Bells, are you alright?" She whispers softly in my ear.
All I can do is nod, because my sights are still set on Mr. Perfect sitting right in front of me on the couch.
Her whisper drops even lower so no one can hear. "Are you sure? You're staring. It's not like you to stare."
I nod again.
"Bella." Jacob says sternly through my thick cloud of...Edward.
My eyes are still locked on his, and I can't seem to pull them away.
"Bella." Jacob says more loudly.
I rip my eyes away from Edward's and whip my head to look at Jacob. "What?" I say with a bitchy tone, aggravated he took me away from what I want.
...Wait. Did I just say I want Edward?
I just met this guy. What's wrong with me?
"Could you please stop the staring contest and give the man what he wants?" Jacob says irritably.
I'm almost tempted to walk up and offer myself.
I mean...er, um, what?
"Uh...yeah, sorry." I say softly.
I grab for my purse and pull out my stash of Vicodin. "How much money do you have?"
"A hundred." He says softly. His voice sends shivers through me and straight to my pussy. A light moan escapes my mouth, my eyes widening in surprise of my own actions.
Everyone's head veers to look at me with a 'What the fuck?' look.
Shit. I can't even fucking count right now. What is a hundred divided by four?
Right. Twenty five. Idiot.
I pull a baggy out of my purse and put thirty in the bag.
My reasoning for giving him five extra? Don't ask me, ask my fingers. My body seems to have a mind of it's own right now.
God, he probably thinks I'm stupid.
As I'm handing him the bag, his fingers lightly brush over the top of my hand. Bolts of electricity shoot up my arm and we both jerk our hands away at the same time.
Did he feel that too?
Maybe I should cut down a little on the Vicodin...or maybe I should just do more...
"Thanks." He says softly, handing over the money.
I stuff it in my pocket and sit back down cross-legged.
Everyone is looking at me with wide eyes, and I can't find it in me to care, because the only thing I care about right now is touching the guy in front of me. Ripping that cute beanie off his head, running my hands through his hair...Taking off his hoodie, sliding my hand up his stomach and chest..
Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with me?
"So, Cullen. How you been, man?" Emmett asks him.
"I've been alright." He says curtly, his eyes taking me in.
Jacob leans over and whispers softly in my ear, "You ready for another, babe?"
My first reaction to him being so close was to punch him in the face, but that quickly subsided as he asked if I wanted another shoot.
I nod, keeping my eyes locked on Edward. Jacob prepares my arm and lines the needle up. I see Edwards eyes grow wide, with concern, and something else I can't quite put my finger on. I almost don't want to do it, so I can wipe that horrified look off his face, but, I want that feeling. I need that feeling right now. Maybe it will make me stop acting like such a fucking weirdo.
As soon as that liquid hits my veins, I try as hard as I can to keep my eyes on Edward. Of course, it doesn't work, and I immediately shut my eyes and let the warmth take over my body.
My whole body begins vibrating, to the point where I think I could start sawing a hole in the carpet.
A couple minutes later, and it begins to feel like too much. I try to breathe, but I feel like I can't get enough air in my lungs. I grab at my chest and try to get everything to stop. I try to make out words, and speak, but nothing coherent is coming out.
I immediately feel large arms and a sweet musky smell surround me. I relax slightly, but my whole body is on fire from the contact.
Am I dying? Is this heaven?
"I think she's overdosing." I hear an angelic voice shouting. "How much did you give her?" The angel is angry.
"Forty milligrams." I hear Jacob say back.
"How much does she normally shoot?"
"Well..like..thirty." Jacob grumbles.
"What the fuck!" I hear Rosalie shout angrily. "Call a fucking ambulance! I can't believe you, Jacob! Were you trying to fucking kill her? You knew how much she took just a little bit ago!"
"I'm fucking out of here, man! I can't get in trouble with the po." I hear Emmmet bark.
"You're such a jerk, Em!" Rosalie barks at Emmett.
"I'm out too, peace." I hear another voice, probably Mike.
"I'm sorry, Bella." I hear Jacob whisper.
I grunt at his voice and try to open my eyes but the buzzing is controlling everything.
I hear angry footsteps and the front door slamming.
I feel soft touches on my forehead and I realize the only person that could be holding me is..him.
"E-e-dward." I stutter, trying to reach out and grab him, but I can't lift my arms.
"Don't call an ambulance! My father has an office at home. He's a doctor. I'll take her. Rosalie, will you come with me?"
"Of course, I'd never leave her like this. She's my best fucking friend. Let's go. Now."
I try to talk again, try to say that I am okay, but I don't really know if I am, or will be. I don't know how much longer I can take this. I'm starting to get scared. I can hear myself whimpering but it's not voluntary.
"She's crying." I hear Rosalie sob. "I can't believe that asshole did this to her. Thank you, Edward. This means a lot."
I feel him wipe my face. "Shh. Shh. It's okay, beautiful. It's going to be okay." I feel myself being lifted and carried outside.
As soon as he sets me down, I can't hear anything, and It's getting harder and harder to stop myself from falling into the abyss that's trying to consume me whole.
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