Chapter 6-Reflection

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A special thanks to the amazingly wonderful ShellyBelles24 for helping me edit this chapter and for all the help she's given me!

In my time I've melted into many forms,
From the day that I was born.

I know that there's no place to hide,
Stuck between the burning shade and the fading light.
I was broken, For a long time, but It's over now.

-I Was Broken, Marcus Foster


I left him. I fucking left him! What the fuck is wrong with me?

Wait, I know what's wrong with me. I'm an idiot.

I had the most amazing night of my life with Edward, and then I leave him before he wakes up.

And to add insult to injury, I left him near the entrance of the forest, naked.

At least I had a little decency in me to lay his clothes over his dick, just in case someone found him.

He probably doubted last night to be real...It surely felt like a dream to me.

All the feelings I had for Edward intensified last night.

How can one man be so beautiful?

The way he looked into my eyes felt like he was looking into my heart and soul.

It was so raw, and natural.

Almost chilling, but at the same time it warmed me.

Does he know the power he has over me?

It surely doesn't seem that way.

My intentions for going to his apartment were to just let loose, let go of some steam and have fun, and he couldn't have been a better person to do that with.

Surely, we were both fucked up out of our minds, but that's me, and that's him.

And it just works.

We were in complete sync with each other last night, just how I thought we would be.

I had been itching to feel his lips on mine for two weeks. To feel his arms around me. To just to be in his presence. Two whole weeks I hadn't gotten his number or called him.

I thought the feelings I had would just vanish, but boy, I was wrong.

Very fucking wrong.

I even went behind Rosalie's back, getting directions to his apartment from a very fucked up Emmett while she was sleeping.

She would have wanted to know why, and I don't even fully know the reasons for my actions last night, or my feelings.

What I do know is that Edward has me completely captivated.

Our sex was not just sex, it was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced.

It wasn't forced. It wasn't emotionless.

It was effortless.

It changed me. He changed me.

The moment our bodies connected, something inside me connected too.

Something that was broken, but it's not anymore.

He fixed it.

I quickly pull into the next abandoned parking lot, to calm myself and give myself another shoot. I take all my equipment out and assemble everything I need to shoot up twenty-five milligrams.

I crush up the pills on the spoon, and melt it into liquid.

I get excited watching the liquid heaven suck up into the syringe. The liquid that makes everything better. Easier.

Tying the tourniquet around my arm and lining up the needle, I take a deep breath and shoot it up my arm. I instantly feel warmth spread through my body, carefully taking the needle out of my arm and the tourniquet off.

The warmth in my veins is nothing compared to the warmth Edward gave me just from a simple touch.

I lay my head back, trying to decide the right thing to do.

I have been staying with Rosalie since the Jacob thing. It's my only option.

I haven't made it there yet, and I'm half way in between Rosalie's and Edward's.

Should I turn back?

Would he understand why I left?

Is he even awake yet?

Either way, since it's light out, Rosalie is probably up and she'd want to know where I am.


I pack my things back up and make a giant u-turn.

I pull into the parking lot and park my car, checking over by the woods to see if Edward is still there.

He's not.


What am I going to say to him?

Just...don't screw this up, Bella.

I walk slowly up to his door, hesitating a little before softly knocking on his door.

"What the fuck, Jasper! I said no, alread-" The door swings open, and Edward is standing there, in only jeans.

Very, very low cut jeans.

Mmmm...fuck. He looks even better in the daylight.

I snap out of my trance, shaking my head slightly at myself for openly ogling his gorgeous body.

Say something, Bella! Quit drooling over him and say something!

I look into Edwards eyes, and the emotion isn't at all what I expected.


He even looks relieved.

"'m sorry I left...I..." I ramble softly, avoiding eye contact, but Edward pulls me into his arms tightly.

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding, and allow the warmth overtake me.

He pulls back with a big smile is on his face. I smile back involuntarily, and embrace him once more.

"I really am sorry I left you like that..." I mumble into his bare chest.

"It's okay, you're here now." He whispers into my hair.

I pull away a little. "Can I...come in?"

This chapter was re-edited as of 3/18/2013- Hope you liked it!

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