AN: Ok, so a biiiigggg thank you to Mushroomking98 whose my epic awesome beta for this story^.^ She helped me on the decision to write this chapter between the last and the future one(s). Because of that, this is gonna be a cutesey hilarity chapter with lots of funnies that the gang does before we really hit the Avengers timeline and things start moving a lot faster. You will understand once I post the NEXT chapter, which will be my epicly long chappy. Lol, sorry for the false info on the last note. Ok, so shout out to Marzipan! Whose reviews make me burst out laughing(in a good way). Also thank you for the rest of you who reviewed! Im now to 30 reviews! Yay! Yall rock! Plus, This story has officially reached over 40 countries! With my average U.S.A. view(top country)being between 3-4 k per chappy!-does epic happy dance- I love you guys!^.^ Im also sorry I haven't responded to yall individually, my review response is not working!.
"What happened in here?" Clint asked hesitantly stepping over a pile of clothes. I gave him a shrug and searched for my combat boots while juggling a slice of pizza in my hand. He simply stared at me as if i had lost my mind.
"Now i know i though i left it in the pile over here." I pursed my lips.
"Okkkk" He took the slice of pizza out of my hand. "Hey! Get your own!" I protested, but he held the slice out of my reach.
"I'm going to just ignore the fact that i can't even see the floor anymore, but i mean seriously? How many pizza boxes are there in here? Its a pig sty, Nya! We are going to catch some incurable disease!" He shuddered as if bugs were crawling all over him.
"Oh my god!" I squeaked. He furrowed his brow. "What?"
"Your a total clean freak!" I exclaimed jumping up and down fueled by a soda induced sugar high. "I am not!" He insisted.
I smirked evilly. "Ok, then catch!" I randomly through a plate full of yesterdays dinner at him. He squealed like a girl and dove out of the projection pass. I doubled over in laughter at his expression.
"Not funny." He gave me an annoyed glare. I continued my laughing spree at his expense. He sighed, crossing his arms and sent me a look like 'are you finished?'.
I grinned maliciously at him. "Ok, I'm done." He searched me suspiciously but finally shrugged and moved to grab a pile of junk from his area of my room and toss it into mine. Smirking devilishly, I put my plan into action. "Oh my God! WHAT'S THAT! ITS MOVING!" I squeaked in terror, jumping atop my bed for affect. Clint's eyes widened and he ran across to me in a very un-manly way, while squealing like a prepubescent girl. Once he reached my bed, he quickly sprang behind me for cover. His head peeked out from behind my body.
"Where is it? I'll shoot the bastard." I giggled in delight, and pointed to the security camera.
"I'm pretty sure JARVYs got some sick footage of your Hannah Montana impression." I laughed outright at his furious expression. I gave him a quick peck on the nose. "Has anyone told you, you are absolutely adorable when your mad? 'Cause ya are." I winked and plopped off the bed. "See ya later, Mr. OCD." I called as I opened the door to leave
When I opened the door to my bedroom, stunned does not even begin to define what I felt.
"Clint! What the hell!" I said angrily after recovering from shock. He simply looked over to me from his spot situated on the couch. I gawked, stomping around my room. I opened my closet to find it oddly devoid of anything. After following the same thing within several of my drawers, I finally let out a frustrated groan. Marching over to Clint, I stopped straight in his line of site(something I knew irked him) with my hands situated on my hips. "What did you do with my stuff!" I demanded.
"What stuff?" He batted his eyelash innocently. "Everything in my closet! And drawers! And everywhere you ass!" I growled at him.
"Oh! That stuff." He said in a mock dumb tone of voice. "Yeah, that stuff." I replied accusingly.
"I threw it out." He stated simply. "You what!" I screeched in horror. "I threw it out. It was contaminated. Like your new bed? Stark gave me a deal on his line of Iron Man bedwear." I gawked at his nonchalant attitude.
"What the hell Barton! I will kill you for this!" I replied my hands clenching into fists. I lept at him in anger. His eyes widened in shock and he tried to wrestle out of my grasp.
"Jesus, Nya! It was just junk!" He exclaimed as he flipped us off the sofa. I landed underneath him my back causing a loud thud in the process but I refused to relent.
"Junk! That's my money you threw away, you good for nothing bastard! I worked long and hard to earn it! Unlike some overly favored jackass I know. Just because all you have to do is be Furys little freaking puppy doesn't mean the rest of us don't have to earn our dough!" I snapped loudly as i roughly tossed him over my head. After several hurled insults and many many bruises later, I calmed enough to realize this wasn't the answer to our solution. I suddenly became slack, and Clint hesitantly let me go. Standing up, I left the room in search of Stark.
"Hey! Killer Ny! How'd you like your custom edition Iron Man bedspread?" He wiggled his eyebrows in amusement.
"Just fabulous. I can see the headlines now, 'Iron Man fan girl lives in Stark tower'." I made an elaborate gesture of a headline. He chuckled. "Meh, so what's the worst that could happen?"
I glared, "SHIELD fires me for breaking rules. Somehow, I think Coulson would file it as, 'unnecessary affiliation and fraternization of fellow employs. And, possible psychiatric issues.'" I scoffed in remembrance of Phil's exasperated expression, though didn't point that fact out to Tony.
He waved it away as unimportant. "Meh, I'll fly him to Portland for the weekend in that case."
"Anyways," I said in a tone I would use to speak to a 3 year old with. "I need your help."
"I'm all ears, dollface." He replied with that cocky grin as he took a drink of his scotch. "I need to drive Barton insane." I said smirking devilishly.
His eyes lit up at the prospect. "What did ya have in mind?"
"NYA!" I smirked and looked at my watch. "Just on time, my little chickadee." I smiled sickenly sweet at him.
His nostrils flared in pure aggravation. "What the hell is all this?" His jaw tightened. I glanced up from the page in my book. "Curtsey of the SHIELD facility gym." He let out a frustrated sigh.
"I'm gonna kill Coulson." He muttered before walking into the bathroom. I smirked as his footsteps screech to a halt. "My god! What the hell!" He screamed in his very feminine voice, yet again.
"Oh, did I forget to tell you? Stark asked if he could use the tub to store his very prestigious piranha collection while they clean the tanks. Same goes for our sink." I commented in the same innocent tone he had used earlier that day. His face was perhaps the most hilarious expression I had ever seen. Almost as if it were a mixture of bewilderment, combined with a mental note of keep it together, Barton, she's trying to make you crack. The sides of my mouth quirked up in satisfaction.
He strode over to his "hawk corner" as I had begun to call it, since it basically held all his Hawkeye gear. "Where. Is. My. Gear." He turned to face me, his glare dangerously serious.
I smiled at him in fake innocence. "Why, I have no idea what you are referring to." I batted my eyelashes at him.
"You didn't." He took a step towards me, voice threatening. "I thought it was simply junk, darlin'." I replied my face holding the expression of a 50s tv house wife who had unintentionally thrown out an important document.
"God damnit it woman! Those were specifically made!" He cried out in rage. "I spent months, months working on those designs and having them molded to perfection!" My facade dropped, snarling slightly I pushed past him.
"Doesn't feel so hot, now does it?" I dryly stated, slamming the door on my way out.
When I returned, it was dark inside our room and I was beyond exhausted. Plus, I believe I had had a tad too much to drink than I could handle with Tony. Thankfully, he probably knew I would kill him in the morning if he took advantage of the situation. Ir was decided it was time to head back when I started falling all over him, quite literally, while calling him sexy, in one so many words. I squinted trying to make out the path to my bed and successfully ended up tripping over something.
I giggled when i heard a light mmff. "Hiya Agent!" I saluted the groggy figure i was currently sprawled across.
"Go away, Nya." He replied sleepily. I shook my head frantically.
"Nahh, I want to stay here. Besides, don't think i could make it to the bed. Has anyone ever told ya how sexy you are?" I slurred half aware of the words falling out of my mouth.
His eyes shot open at that. "Are you drunk?" He asked bemused.
I shook ny head but burst out into giggles. "I vent drinking with, Tony. Hes sexy to ya know. Ooo, do you think he'd be inclined for foreplay. Have you ever cuddled before?" I randomly snuggled closer to him. He let out a near yelp while pushing me off in panic. I hit the floor with a thud. "Ow, your a meanie." I pouted up at him.
He shook his head and glanced at the clock. "Shit, shit! Its 5 til 6! Nya we have a meeting at 6:30. Are you insane?" He barked in frustration.
I winced at his outburst. "Your even mean drunk. You need to loosen up. Your such a fuddy duddy." I stuck my young out and attempted to stand up but instead wobbled on my heels before falling into his arms.
I giggled like a school girl. "Hey, handsome." I smirked.
He rolled his eyes and hoisted me up with him. "Come on, we've got to sober you up. Jeez, Nya. How much did you have?"
" I shrugged bored. "Dunno, ask Stark. Tried drinking him under the table. He is a really good drinker!" I shouted in disbelief.
He quickly clamped his hand over my mouth. "Don't talk. Do u want to alert the entire house you got wasted with Tony?" He asked me. I shook my head and he released his hand. "Good." He whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine, though i wasn't sure if that was just the alcohol speaking.
The rest of the morning was a blur, though I remembered drinking about a pound of coffee with Clint and some very inappropriate comments directed to every male in the meeting. To put it simply, the director was unamused.
"Heya, sweet thing!" I winced at Tony's chiper voice. I snarled at him. "What's wrong, sunshine? Had a bit too much last night? By the way, I totally agree with you. Steve does have a nice ass, and Barton has some buff arms. Though I think I liked the part where you told the director his eye patch made him look like a sexy pirate and then growled at him."
I groaned in humiliation. "I am definitely going to be shipped to Siberia for this." I muttered.
Stark burst out laughing. "Hey, at least instead of the walk of shame, you had the march of shame!" I winced at the truth of it. "Well, that is, unless you an Barton, you know" He looked suggestively between the two of us.
I threw him a disgusted glare. "He wishes." I scoffed.
Clint smirked. "That's ok, she just doesn't remember. At least she insisted on a tape so she can jog her memory." I gawked in horror at him. Stark nearly doubled over in laughter. I flicked a piece of egg at Clint. "You're not funny."
He laughed in pure amusement. "Ya, well your face says otherwise." I made a face at him.
"Besides, she was waay to busy falling all over me, while making suggestive comments about Tony." He wiggled his eyebrows jokingly at me. "Oh, so she didn't have enough last night I take it?" He winked cockily at me.
I shot Barton a glare. "You're dead."
He smirked. "Hey, I tried to sober you up. Not my fault your a whinny bitch when your drunk. Or that you were too busy calling me handsome and trying to cuddle me. I swear to god, if u ever use panda in the same sentence as me again, I will shoot an arrow through your skull." He muttered joking.
"Will you now? And with what do you propose you do it with? A straw and rubber band?" I sarcastically shot back. His face fell.
Stark began laughing again. "Seriously, you two are better than tv!"
I smiled truly happy with the work in front of me.
Although I couldn't exactly get Clint's bow and the rest of his things back, nor did I really want to, I still felt slightly guilty after he had attempted to assist me with my drunk situation. Even though he had failed miserably, he could've just let me walk in declaring my false love for Tony. And if I remember correctly, he didn't give up his attempts to cover for me until I nearly grabbed at Steve's ass. Apparently, in my stupor, my mind had decided that that was appropriate since i was already sort of seeing him. I winced at the reminder. If there was one thing you didn't do, it was grab the ass of a man from 1940(and a very proper one at that). Sighing, I was going to be spending my next pay check on apology gifts to every male I had the unfortunate circumstance of running in to while at SHIELD.
On impulse, I grabbed a piece of my fancy new Iron Man stationary(don't ask me why Tony has a line in that)and the new collection of charcoal pencils i owned(curtsey of Steve), quickly sketching a heart with an arrow through it. The border of said heart were the words "I'm sorry, friends?" in a deep mixture of violet and crimson.
I smiled as i looked over the cursive handwriting. It wasn't as elaborate as Steve's, nevertheless, I was still proud of it. Satisfied with my work, I grabbed my gym bag on the way out. I had a sparing appointment to keep with Nat. Wincing at the prospect of being throwing around by her, she truly was helping me improve from her insane "mock fights", as she called them. I scoffed, mock fights my ass, it was simply a time that she could beat up my ass. I rolled my eyes, it was no secret she sort of had a thing for Steve. I believe I actually made the assassine jealous. With a stiff upper lip, I walked to my utter doom.
... Clint's pov ...
I paused the second I was halfway across the area designated to me. A stream of purple and black had caught my attention. Turning ny gaze, I was puzzled to find a large array of toy guns, arrows and ammunition in the corner where my gear had previous been settled. I pulled a large not off the stuff and smiled as I examined it. It wasn't exactly a replacement, but she was trying and I suppose that's what mattered. That and she obviously felt horrible about the entire ordeal. I smirked as plotting began in ny mind. I would find a solution to our sticky problem, I shuddered at the literal thought, but first to extract some revenge.
Wincing every time i moved a muscle i pretended to be perfectly fine. After all, no one knew i was taking lessons with Nat, and they would undoubtedly question me to death if they saw me limping (or groaning in pure agony). As i faked my way up the stairs, a tedious task that took more effort than usual, I suddenly became aware that our top floor was oddly quiet.
Weary, I cautiously entered my room, my ears pricked for the slightest movement. As I scanned the unlit area, the hair on the back of my neck stood on end. Evert internal alarm went off, something was not- My thought process was cut off as i heard a loud popping noise, followed by a rubber arrow embedded smack dab between my eyes.
I scrunched my nose as my eyes crossed to appraise his work. I pulled the arrow off with a loud pop and rubbed the area, trying to keep the blood glow away from the area. "Very funny, Clint." I said, trying to mask my laughter with annoyance. The chuckle in response told me i hadn't been successful. From the dark abiss, a gun was suddenly thrown in my direction.
It skidded to a stop a here inch from my foot. "Find me if you can." He taunted.
I smirked, my eyes delighted with the challenge as i scooped down to pick up the toy gun. "Your on, pretty boy." I winked in his direction and dove behind my couch. Several arrows suddenly showered around me, and i quickly dodged most, returning fire to the moving shadow.
"You better run, little girl." He playfully taunted, shooting an onstream of rubber arrows. I quickly pressed ny back to the arm of the chair, awaiting his stopping point.
When he paused i pocked my gun out of my hiding place, throwing a few good aimed shots. "Oh I'm soo scared." I replied ny voice dripping with sarcasm. Suddenly, an arrow came flying straight at me, hitting me smack dab over the heart.
Dumbfounded, i ripped the arrow out. "Dead yet, darlin?" He mocked.
I scoffed. "You are no match for the mighty Nya!" i mimicked Thors words.
Clint laughed deeply. "And...3...2...1..." I dramatically falsified passing out.
He burst out laughing, but did not reveal his hiding spot. I peaked through one lid, only to have another arrow shoot straight at it. I squeaked, shutting my eye in preparation of the contact. Instead of piercing my eye, it hit my temple, causing a slight daze from the force.
"Aw, come on, i have better aim than that." Clint replied in horror from my accusation. I shrugged while yanking the arrow off.
I flicked off to the side. "Never know with you."
"Oh, this means war." He replied, faking his best serious tone. I giggled and dove behind the confines of the couch once again.
... Clara's pov ...
"I can't believe you flew us to Chicago for pizza!" I gapped at Tony who was acting so cool I thought he might turn into a cucumber.
Steve, as gentlemanly as ever, helped me out of the limo while grabbing the large stack of Chicago styled pizza. "Stark does the most outrageous things." Steve muttered bitterly.
When Tony had suggested a Pizza run before the three Assassins came back from SHIELD, I had leapt at the chance. It took a little convincing on my part, but eventually Steve had relented and given in. When we arrived at a jet, however, i became aware that a pizza run had a significantly more elaborate meaning to Tony Stark.
"I can't believe we were gone all day for Pizza." I said in exasperation while entering the house. "They must be worried sick about-" I was cut off by a rather loud thud upstairs. We all exchanged a nervous glance before hightailing it upstairs.
Looking around for the source of the sound, another thud broke out, the destination being Nyas room. We all quickly burst through her door, but dropped to the floor as we heard a shrill sound wisp through the air. Blinking, Tony flicked on the lights.
We stared in stunned shock at the picture before us. "DIE JEDI SCUM! DIE!" Nya shouted loudly shooting towards the top of her headboard where Clint was squatted behind.
She ran out of amp and Clint rolled out behind the arched wall halfway separating the "sitting area" from the "bed area" for cover. "I WILL NEVER TURN TO THE DARK SIDE!" He replied in a silly tone, shooting at the back of the sofa. "GIVE UP YET WEAKLING?" Nya let out a scoff of haughty disbelief before returning fire.
"NEVER! I AM DARTH MADAWOOKA! FEAR ME!" Clint nearly laughed at Nya's false sneering. She was a delightful actor and sarcastic in wit, which led to a comical combination.
"AND I AM JEDI KNIGHT AWSOME THEMOSTAWSOMEST! I SHALL NEVER TURN TO THE DARK SIDE!" He elaborated.
I squeaked, as an arrow rikashayd off the wall and hit the light switch behind us. The force of the arrow caused a hissing sound next to ny ear.
"GUYS! WHY DON'T I GET A GUN!" Tony whined in a childish tone. They looked over to us startled. They were so engrossed in their battle, they had failed to notice our presence. Pausing, Clint failed to comprehend the smirk on Nyas face as she hit him dab straight between the eyes, followed by one to his left chest. She grinned evilly as he shot her an unamused glance.
...and then the rest was a messy array of plastic arrows and hijinks as the rest of the gang joined in the fun. Complete with Steve comically adapting a pillow for a shield.
... Nya's pov...
I smiled as I walked my way up the stairs. I was still slightly peeved at Clint getting rid of all my possessions, but I now had a legitimate excuse to wear his stuff. I smiled, he really did have a wicked sense of style. Of course, it hung a little on me. Wearing one of his shirts as a tunic and his awesome leather jacket with a pair of Tashas leggings worked out perfectly. It was only a bonus that it looked cute too. I whistled as I made a mental note to go buy at least some pairs of clothes to tie me over til pay day. Fury had denied my request for a payment in advance. I wrinkled my nose, cheap dude, I suppose it was my payback for calling him a sexy pirate. I scoffed as I entered the room.
I was so engrossed in my grumbling that I failed to notice the large sheet hanging across the room until I was entangled in it. "BARTON!" I squeaked, hitting the floor in a tangle of limbs and sheets. I glares over to where he was standing wide eyed at my display. It took a moment to recover, and when he did, he burst out laughing.
I glared at him, furious. "Its not funny! And what the hell is this anyways?" I snarled as I began to detangle myself from the sheet.
His laughter died down and he started to put the parts where I had already removed my body back up. "Its a separator. So you can have your room, and me mine. As long as we keep our stuff on our side, it will be fine." He turned away and began to hook it up.
I blinked pursing my lips. It was actually a good idea. "That is actually a-" I was cut off as my eyes widened. I realized my ankle was caught in the sheet where Clint was about to yank up. "Wait! CLINT no!" I attempted to lung at him, but it was too late. I was suddenly drug upside down and was hanging mid air. I crossed my arms in annoyance. "Is this your idea of paybacks, Barton?" I raised an aggrivated eyebrow at him.
He shrugged, a smirk growing. "No, but now that you mention it, I think it would be a good idea to let you hang around for awhile." He chuckled at the pun.
I rolled my eyes, though ny lips twitched upwards in a grin. "Ya well, I would like to get down." He took a step towards me, but halted suddenly.
His eyes lit up, and I searched him weary of his intentions. "Nah, I think you've got this one down." He let out a chuckle and strutted out the door.
I huffed in annoyance. "I'll get you for this, Hawk!" Icalled after him.
"Can't do anything while your hanging around all day, hun." He called back.
Grumbling, I went to loosen the strap slightly, but undercaluated the force. I let out a squeal as I was suddenly greeted by the floor. "That's gonna leave a mark." I grumbled, rubbing my forehead.
It was only then that I saw the brand new wardrobe situated on my bed. My eyes lit up as I scrambled over to it. A sticky not was pasted to it, Barton's messy handwriting all over it.
"Since you seem to love my shirts so much;)"
I smiled as I read the note. He really could be sweet when he wasn't too busy being a jerk.