Oh, bad news, horrible news, news that made the entire kingdom go mad! The words that were spoken by one of the newscast members on channel 1234 (on DirecTV, that is) had people screaming, burning their houses, rebuilding them, burning them again, before running around the square in pure horror.
Servants of Princess Peach's castle were doing the same, burning paintings of the blonde person who was always getting kidnapped – hey, there's a Yoshi who thinks that she and Bowser are secretly trying to start a family but Mario always gets in the way! – before restoring them using computers and crap like that.
Even the princess herself was flipping out, talking in Polish and squealing and crying so much that Mario – who just so happened to deliver the message to the princess himself 'cause he's just Mario like that – wished he could psuh her over the balcony and let her drown in the moat below next to the spot where a narwhal tried to marry Birdo once.
So, imagine a map with those little pop-ups of castles on it to represent kingdoms. You got it? Good, if not, go away because this dude in the corner doesn't like boring people. HEY LOOK AT THAT COW!
Anyway, with your little map imagine that the Mushroom kingdom is on the left and Sarasaland is on the right. Imagine MK all on fire and stuff and being destroyed, while Sarasaland is all decorated and pretty and shiny and twenty times better than MK because it's awesome like that, also, the people have lower taxes – YAY I SENSE DAUGHTER OF EVIL ARRIVING.
Sarasaland was celebrating the news that MK was terrified about, mainly because the people there were brainwashed by Princess Daisy into liking the exact same things she did and occasionally screeching "HI, I'M DAISY!" Even if their name was Bob or something boring like that.
In the center of the town, people were throwing Mardi Gras colored confetti (if you don't know the colors go look it up. SEE WHAT I DID THAR?) while crying with joy and hugging and kissing each other – well, the kissing part was mainly guys because girls were taking pictures – WHOA NOW! Maybe that was happening because of lots of booze fueled the party.
Now in your head the camera pans towards the castle of Sarasaland, the only calm place in this entire story – well, aside from Petalburg, but who cares about Koops? He hardly did anything to help Mario that one time!
Inside the castle, the silent tea room surrounded the princess herself ("HI I'M DAISY!") along with the adorable green clad plumber we all love who just makes the cutest sounds in Mario Kart Wii – uh….. I'm – I'm not being creepy.
…and the room also had some toads sleeping off to the side, and then there was Daisy's Lithuanian butler Toris who stood against the wall trying to become a plant – SEE WHAT HAPPENED THAR?
"So… Luigi," Daisy smiled, bringing an orange (ORANGE IS MY FAVORITE COLOR :D), to her smirking lips, "I hear that you're about to get married?"
"U-um, yeah, I am…" Luigi trailed off, looking at the floor while blushing (THAT IMAGE IS TOO DAMN CUTE! *head asplodes*), "It's going to be a small wedding, though… I mean, maybe only two people invited and then the preacher and stuff."
Daisy leaned forward, "Can I plan it? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaase?"
Luigi looked at her before chuckling sheepishly, "Well, uh, I guess you can, but you know that you'd probably –"
"HELLZ YEAH I'M PLANNING A WEDDING!" Daisy threw her tea cup behind her, leaping up and running out of the room, "THIS WILL BE EPIC!"
"B-but Daisy!" Luigi ran out after her, "You don't even know who I'm marrying!"
Daisy screeched to a halt, turning around to give Luigi that face we all make trying to imitate that one face that's online. You know, that one? That… one? Never mind. "Who are you marrying? Wait, why isn't it me? THE FANS ARE GONNA KILL SOMEONE!"
"Uh, breaking the fourth wall! Anyway, who're you getting hitched with?"
Luigi sighed, covering his face with his hands before saying something that Daisy couldn't understand – obviously embarrassed to share. TO EMBARRASED TO SHARE, LUIGI? THE GUY WHO HAS DRESSED UP LIKE A GIRL THREE TIMES IS EMBARRASED TO SHARE?
"I didn't get that, say it again?" Daisy stepped closer to Luigi, grabbing his hands and bringing them away from his face, "Who're you marrying?"
Luigi's face grew in redness (Does that make sense? DERP) before he replied, "I'm – I'm – I'm marrying –"
"Wait!" Daisy threw her arms up in the air, "Is it to another man? Because if it is I'm gonna be so happy."
"Y-yes…" Luigi kicked at the carpet, "I'm marrying –"
"Gay marriage? In this world? HELLZ YEAH." Daisy began skipping around Luigi, throwing confetti while she did while singing the Gay Bar song – meanwhile, Luigi's face turned into that rage face you see online.
"Why are you skipping, you don't even know who I'm marrying!"
"Yes I do!" Daisy stopped, "It's Peasley, right?"
Luigi leaned back so far his back about snapped, "That guy? OH HELL NO." he replied while doing that ghetto finger waggling thing. "That creep watched me shower for ten months straight before I caught him one day and – yeah."
Daisy sighed, "Then it's…" her eyes widened, "YOUR BROTHER!"
"What?" Luigi leaned back again, "My brother's a huge jerk towards me! Why would I marry a jerk?" (cough irony cough)
"BITCH YOU FUCKED UP."
"Ugh, whatever. Oh, I know, THAT WALRUS!"
"Daisy, are you being serious or are you high?"
"THE KING OF CHOCOLATE!"
"I GIVE UP! Tell me!" Daisy grabbed Luigi by the overall straps, shaking him back and forth while chanting, "Tell me tell me tell me tell me!"
"I'm marr-y-ing Wal-u-i-gi!" Luigi cried, the shaking stopped as soon as he finished the sentence, staring back at Daisy's OMFG FOR CEREAL face. (Wait, what kind of cereal? I like Chocolate Cheerios, personally.)
"Waluigi?" Daisy questioned, "Waluigi? You mean the guy who bullied you and laughed at you and creeped everyone out at his first tennis match?"
"Those eyes, Daisy, so sexy… he can still make them flash purple, y'know."
Daisy was quiet for a moment, processing this information before resuming her skipping around throwing confetti thing, "You two make such a good couple now that I think about it! !"
So the day of the wedding came, it was held in a small restaurant in Sarasaland, and only ten people were allowed inside, news crews and nosy people pressed against the glass, trying to see.
Of course, Luigi looked sexy in that white suit of his, Waluigi's got that skinny sexy butler suit thing going on, Daisy tripled as a bridesmaid, flower girl, and ring bearer, Mario was passed out on a table trying to drink himself into accepting his brother's marriage, Peach was still flipping out in Polish, Yoshi and Birdo were dancing to amuse the onlookers, the preacher was bored and wanted to go home and play Minecraft, Rosalina was here because she felt the presence of her "special one", and then there was the random hobo who carried tuna in his pockets while singing "I thrown my *explicit* in the air sometimes, saying ayyy-ooh, look at the white fountain!"
"Do you," the toad preacher dude started, but didn't get to finish.
"Yes, they do!" Daisy spat, "LET THEM KISS!"
Waluigi finally got around to saying his first line this entire story, which are going to be very wise words you will cherish for the rest of your life – they will bring you good luck and many riches, if you remember that he said, "Bitch, I don't kiss boys for your entertainment, I kiss boys for my entertainment."
Daisy squealed anyway, "KISSU KISSU KISSU KISSU KISSU!"
At this time a poptart cat flew through the town and ate all of the circus performers trying to get people to come to their circus instead of watching this boring wedding thing – of course nobody would go because the only act they had was a clown falling into a pit of pink slime. GAAAAAAAAAAAH.
"W-Waluigi," Luigi piped up, "I think we'd best go ahead and do it, so we can leave…"
Rosalina all of a sudden turned creepy, her eyes glowing and a blue aura floating around her, "Stop! That is my special one!" she shouted.
Waluigi eyeballed her, "Bitch, stop crapping that blue stuff, what you trying to do, make us all Smurfs?"
So then they kissed, everyone flipped tables and their craps and stuff, and then the newly married couple flew off into the sunset far far away where there are real stories with real plots awaiting them.
And then Rosalina kidnapped Daisy, which I don't know why she did, but Luigi went to go save her after the honeymoon. THIS IS THE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEND!
Do not ever, EVER mix Little Debbie Swiss roles, Dr. Pepper, water, and lack of sleep together on Saturday night. Ever.
So yeah, another crap story that has no meaning, Rated M for choice words, Walgi, and Crazee Canadia being an idiot :D.
Call me sick, call me insane, just don't call me crazy, because I'm Crazee Canadia.
HI I'M DAISY! HI I'M DAISY! HI I'M DAISY THE PHYSCO YAOI HUNTER! WHERE'S MY BOYS AT? I NEED TO BE A CREEP AND TAKE PICTURES OF THEM!