(A/n: It has been nine years since I have written fanfiction for the DBZ fandom, in particular KrillinXEighteen. My old fics, they were readable I guess but had so many mistakes. I've done a bit of writing ever since then in other fandoms and have improved. It is time to bring back my love for Krillin and Eighteen, DBZ' s most unlikely yet compatible and sweetest paring. I feel I can do them a lot more justice than I did back in 2003.
Please enjoy this story, whether you tell me or not, I'd like to think I have given you something worth spending your time over.)
Show Me Love.
It was dark yet light, stars literally were scattered all above him as he looked up into the black night sky. He was perched on top of the roof of Kame House, the wind blowing around him rather harshly but he didn't mind. In fact, the coldness of the air around him felt good to his tired body.
He couldn't sleep, had not been able to get some decent shut-eye ever since the defeat of Cell. That had been almost two months ago now. His Master had expressed his concern over his well being several times in the past few weeks.
Krillin softly sighed to himself, he knew there was a reason to worry. He knew he was looking worse for wear. Every morning he would look at his reflection in the mirror, almost astonished by the person staring back at him. Sometimes he didn't even recognize himself anymore.
He'd lost weight, his once well build body was slowly but certainly losing it's chiseled appearance. His clothes were getting too big and hung limply on his thinning frame. His eyes were sunken in, dark circles framing them. They had an almost haunted look to them.
But perhaps the most noticeable change was the top of his head, instead of a neatly waxed bald skull, he was now sporting a very thin and very short layer of black fuzz. He wouldn't call it hair just yet. Automatically he rubbed a hand over his head. It felt strange yet comforting. He didn't know how to explain it.
Krillin pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. The chill of the wind made him shiver but he didn't feel the need to go inside just yet. He knew he would just lie awake on his bed anyway, staring up at the dark ceiling consumed by thoughts and guilt.
He shook his head, he didn't want to think, didn't want to feel. He got tired of it all yet he couldn't escape the wave of sadness that washed over him.
The loss of his greatest and best friend...no a brother was like a hot flame, burning in the back of his mind overflowing with guilt knowing that he was indirectly responsible for it.
Goku, the man who had so bravely sacrificed his own life to save that of his friends, family and all of humanity on earth. The man who always wanted and did what was best, who didn't have an ounce of evil or wrong inside of him. The boy he used to detest when they were smaller, who he'd made his rival the moment they met but yet had turned that rivalry around into friendship.
He was special, he had this unique gift of bringing people together, make them feel welcome and at ease. Often Krillin had wondered just how it was that he could be so pure yet so terrifyingly strong but so utterly naive, even in his adult years he never lost that streak of naivety that made him so utterly Goku.
Krillin wiped at his eyes, he would not cry. Not anymore, he'd done that too much already. He was surprised he still had tears to shed. Goku was gone, of his own free will no less. He had not wanted to come back to earth, believing wholeheartedly that the planet would be safer without his presence. He willingly had left to protect the future of everyone else.
Defeated, Krillin buried his wet face into his knees, he couldn't stop the tears, not tonight. Not when a tremendous amount of guilt was pressing down on him as he thought of how he could have prevented it all. If only he had acted right, if only he hadn't hesitated and had done what they had expected from him, hadn't let his heart overrule his brain.
Things would be so much different now, Goku would still be alive, the earth would not have been remodeled so much as a result of the terrible Cell Games and peace would have been restored again but without the sacrifices that were made now.
If only he had pressed that button. If only he had destroyed her, none of this would've happened.
But he hadn't.
Krillin stood up abruptly, wiping the tears from his cheeks as he silently made his way down from the roof to the beach. Carelessly discarding his slippers in the cool beach sand, he walked up to the shore line and let the cold water lick at his toes before he waded further into the calm ocean. He kicked the water around angrily. He was so upset with himself that he didn't know what to do. He almost hated himself for his cowardice, for the feelings that had stirred within him when he had seen her again. It had prevented him from doing the right thing.
He wanted to hate her for it, he wanted to blame her for his own stupidity, his own weak heart that had fluttered the moment their eyes had locked. He didn't know what it was about beautiful women that riled him up yet rendered him completely paralyzed to the point that even he himself had declared that they were his greatest weakness.
He would almost say that maybe he was just so desperate to find someone special that it clouded his judgment severely. He shook his head frowning heavily.
He could not blame this on anyone but himself, beside Vegeta maybe. After all, that Saiyan had allowed Cell to hunt for her, had allowed Cell to try and reach his perfect form. Damn his Saiyan pride and thirst for power and fighting.
But Krillin knew that no matter how much Vegeta might have taken part in the completion of Dr Gero's most terrifying creature, he would mostly just blame himself.
He closed his eyes, immediately images of her face swam before him in his mind. The way she had turned in surprise when she had heard something drop to the ground, realization dawning upon her face when she realized who he was and the fear once she'd seen what he had dropped.
It was mostly the fear that had stopped him from killing her. He had seen it in her while creeping closer to her and Android 16 and again when she had seen the controller Bulma had so carefully crafted.
That and the kiss she had given him on that fateful day on the highway.
She and her brother had knocked out everyone but him. He hadn't been able to move, hadn't been able to rid himself of the gripping fear that had paralyzed him to help his friends until they were walking off, on their way to find Goku. Something had clicked in place and he had chased after them, scared out of his mind but determined. Somehow he knew something was different about them. The way Future Trunks had talked about the Androids of his time, it hadn't added up with the ones in this present time and he was hoping against hope that he could talk some sense into them.
He had failed of course.
When she had walked up to him, he had been sure he would be a goner, that she would kill him there on the spot regardless as to how much different they seemed from what Trunks had told him. But as he had trembled in fear, she had merely smiled at him before bending down to plant a soft kiss on his cheek.
No matter how scared he was, no matter how hard he was shivering and quivering in her close proximity, he could remember that moment as clear as day as if it was happening in slow motion.
It hadn't lasted long, after all it was just a peck but it had been enough. Her lips had been soft, warm and a little moist. It has surprised him, he had thought she would be cold to the touch, being an Android* and all. But he could feel warmth radiating off her until she stood back up to her regular height.
"Good luck, bye." She had said in a tone that he could only describe as flirty.
Krillin shook his head as he made his way back into the small pink house, even now just thinking about it, his cheeks were burning. No matter what he did, he could not forget about her. He wanted too, so badly. It didn't feel right to just dwell on a fleeting and unattainable dream, it almost felt as if he was betraying Goku's sacrifice by thinking and dreaming of her. Sure she had said she would see him later but had he really thought she was serious? In that moment on the Look-Out he had been, even Yamcha had been positive it meant something. But as the days went by, Krillin found himself rethinking everything, including her words to him.
To be honest, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to see her again right now. But deep in his heart he still worried for her. Where was she and was she doing well? Was she alone? Did she have somewhere to go?
Krillin let out another sigh as he stepped into the kitchen. Master Roshi was reading one of his magazines when he entered, a teapot and two cups spread out before him on the table. He didn't look up until Krillin sat opposite of him at the kitchen table.
"Have some tea, Krillin." He said scooting a cup of steaming liquid towards his pupil. Sure, the boy was an adult now but he would always view him as his pupil, same with Goku. Those two held a special place in his heart and it pained him to see the suffering and pain Krillin was currently going through because of the loss of his friend. And he knew something else was bothering the young fighter as well, but he couldn't even begin to guess what it was. He'd tried to get Krillin to talk to him but hadn't been successful so far.
But right now that was not his main concern. He pretended to read his magazine again, eyes hidden behind his ever present sunglasses. The smallest of smiles appeared on his face when he saw Krillin gingerly sipping the sweet hot honey tea he had made. It wouldn't take long now.
Sure enough, Krillin's eyes widened when realization dawned upon him, but it was too late for him to say anything or do anything about it as he slumped forward, his head making contact with the table in a loud sickening thud.
Master Roshi flinched. That would hurt in the morning but it didn't matter now, all that mattered was that Krillin would be getting some much needed sleep and rest to energize his body properly.
With surprising strength for such an old man, he hoisted the unconscious Krillin over his shoulders and carried him upstairs. He tucked him into his bed, wrapping the blankets securely around his small body not much unlike a father would do to a child.
"You'll be thanking me for this later...or not." Master Roshi turned the lights off, closed the door behind him and went back downstairs.
I know Eighteen is a Cyborg and that Krillin knows she has some kind of human base but I always felt he didn't really understand the full grasp of what exactly happened to her until much later, she might have told him because unlike what most people think , Eighteen does remember some of the time in Gero's lab since she and Seventeen refer to it several times in the manga, saying that they were taken against their will and that he turned them against their will. She might not remember her full past though, we really have no idea of really knowing...
Thank you for reading. Stay tuned for the next chapter.