Disclaimer: I do not own Infinite Stratos.

The enrollment of one Orimura Ichika into IS academy spread chaos across the student body. For the first time since the creation of the institution, a male student had enrolled; the only male in the world capable of piloting an IS. When these young maidens, who had little contact with males of their own age group due to their upbringings, came in contact with the handsome young man, they were naturally excited. Teenage girls flocked to Ichika by the dozens and merchandise pertaining to the boy was sold for exuberant prices. This is a story pertaining to one of these products, the Orimura Ichika trading cards.

xxxxx

It was another day in IS academy. The noon bell had rung and students flooded the hallways, the majority of which were heading to the cafeteria for lunch.

Aikawa Kiyoka is one such student. With her close friend Nohotoke Honne, she began discussing about the newest fad amongst the students, the Orimura Ichika trading cards. Manufactured by the photography club, the cards had instantly gained popularity due to the focus on its namesake: Orimura Ichika.

"Check this out Honne! I bought a five card pack yesterday and managed to get this!" She eagerly waves a card in front of her friend's face. A picture of Ichika sleeping peacefully in his desk with his head propped on his arms is printed on the card, with the title: Sleeping in Class Ichika written along the top.

"Eh! That one's supposed to be really rare! Orimu hardly sleeps in class with Orimura-sensei around…"

"I know right? I can probably auction this off for a few thousand yen easily, not that I'm going to. This one's definitely a keeper."

Reaching the dining hall, the two girls spot a few familiar faces.

Shinonono Houki from Japan, Cecilia Alcott from Britain, Huang Lingyin from China, Charlotte Dunois from France and Laura Bodewig from Germany were sharing one table. These five girls hailing from different countries were waiting for the boy who had captured their hearts, Orimura Ichika, to arrive. Looking forward to boast about her new treasure to the girls who 'hogged Ichika to themselves,' Kiyoka heads toward their direction.

"Ne! Ne! Look at what I've got girls! I bet you don't have a rare card like this!"

In her excitement, Kiyoka had forgotten one crucial fact. This group of five girls are no ordinary students. No, all five of them are personal IS owners and as such, had certain advantages over the rest of the student body.

Cecilia decided to knock the girl off her high horse. "Ara? Is that considered a rare card? I have three of those in my possession though…"

Honne pats her friend's back when Kiyoka slumps down in shock and disappointment.

Letting her competitive nature get the better of her, Cecilia continues to boast. "As a generous oujo-sama though, I'll allow you to gaze upon a truly rare card."

Taking out a metallic case, she removes a single card from the velvet lined inside and places it in the middle of the table for everyone to see.

The title Butler Ichika is written along the top and a holographic picture adorns the surface. The picture shows Ichika in full butler uniform pouring a cup of tea. To top it off, Cecilia presses a small dot along the bottom of the card and a male voice rings out. "How would you like your tea, oujo-sama?"

Kiyoka and Honne's eyes widen. "T-this is…? H-how do you have this card! I thought the holographic Orimura Ichika cards were just a myth!"

"Hohoho! Even for someone of my caliber, obtaining this card was not easy." Cecilia looks towards the other four girls sitting with her, expecting looks of jealousy.

She didn't expect them to be smirking back at her.

Rin steps up to the plate. "Hah! You're way too proud of yourself Cecilia! Feast your eyes on this!" Rin slaps a card onto the table, next to Cecilia's card.

Freshly Out of the Bath Ichika is the title and like Cecilia's, it's a holographic card. On the card, a picture of Ichika from the seaside resort fieldtrip is shown. Wearing a yukata, Ichika's hair is damp and his partially exposed chest lightly glistens with drops of water. Pressing the button, his voice once again rings out. "Aah! Taking a long bath after exercising is the best!"

"Wow! Orimura-kun's so sexy in this one!" Depression long forgotten, Kiyoka shamelessly stares at the new card along with Honne.

"…" Cecilia stays silent, hands balled up into fists in frustration at being upstaged by Rin.

Of course, the rest of the girls couldn't let this pass. Laura stands up and places her own card beside Rin's. "Humph. It's only natural for me to carry a proper picture of my spouse."

This time the picture is set in a gym. Wearing nothing but a pair of pants, sweat trails down his toned chest as he readies to lift himself once more on the chin-up bar. The title is Workout Ichika and his voice is tinted with hints of exhaustion. "98… 99… 100! Huah! Finally… done!"

By now a crowd of girls had formed around the table, curious over the commotion. Upon seeing Laura's card though, various fantasies began to run across their minds; some were even openly drooling while staring at the picture.

"Kuh! T-to think you would have something at this level…" Like Cecilia, Rin's previous bravado vanishes upon seeing the 'superior' card. Of course, that didn't stop her from committing the picture to her memory…

"I guess I'm next." Taking great care, Houki places her own card beside the others. The words Prince Ichika make up the title and a picture of Ichika in a tuxedo is shown. With the star filled night sky behind him, Ichika has his hand outstretched towards the photographer. "Shall we head off, princess?"

"Huhu! This is a card I had commissioned during our dinner 'date'." Purposely emphasizing the word date, Houki mentally pumps her fist in victory after seeing the gaping expressions of shock from the all the girls around her.

All except one.

"Fufufufufu!" Charlotte giggles in a manner that would befit a villain from an anime. Without another word, the French girl removes a card from her pocket and gently lays it on the table.

Househusband Ichika

The title alone grabs the attention of the crowd.

The accompanying holographic image practically fulfills one of their many fantasies.

Wearing a combination of a light pink apron and a handkerchief on his head, Ichika's is standing over a stove while stirring a pot with a ladle in one hand. His other hand carries a saucer containing a small portion of the stew as he samples his own cooking.

The voice recording was the final blow.

"Hm~ H~Hhmm… Mmm, a little more salt and this will be perfect! I hope she'll like it."

"T-that's at Ichika's house!" Charlotte neither confirms nor denies it, but her continuous evil giggles are evidence enough.

"Oh? That's a rather impressive collection~!"

The crowd of girls part, revealing the speaker to be Sarashiki Tatenashi, the student council president of IS Academy. Possessing the title of being the strongest student within the academy, Tatenashi was also the representative of Russia.

The beautiful president had been accompanying Ichika recently and that made our five heroines rather wary of her. It didn't help that there had been many rumours saying that she has been sleeping in Ichika's room.

"W-what are you doing here?" Laura cautiously asks the blue haired girl, not wanting to experience another tickle session from her.

"Oh nothing, nothing! I just heard that there was a group of girls showing off a bunch of rare cards so I decided to take a look."

"I-is that so…"

"Yup~! Hm… Since you've so kindly shown me your rare cards, I guess I'll let you see mine as well~!"

Enthusiastically taking out a card from between her impressive bosom, she deposits it beside the other cards.

Naked Massage Play Ichika

Silence consumes the dining hall.

The holographic image differs from the other cards in that it shows two people. One of course is Ichika, but the other person, a girl, is unidentifiable, as her head is cropped out of the picture. The most shocking thing though, is that the girl is stark naked and lying face down on the bed. Ichika's face is bright red and his hands hover above the girl's exposed hips...

"E-eh? E-even h-here? I-i-it's okay?"

The shameless grin on Tatenashi's face indicates that the girl in the photo is definitely her.

It was at this point that our bumbling hero arrives.

"Hm? What's everyone doing here? Eh? Tatenashi? You're here too?"

Finally breaking through the crowd, Ichika remains oblivious to the rapidly declining mood of the five girls sitting around the table.

"So what are you doing?"

"Ichika…" Rin stands up and the other four soon follows. All of their heads are tilted forward, hiding their expressions from Ichika's view.

Hearing the venom in Rin's voice, Ichika takes a step back. "Y-yes?"

"""""DIE!"""""

Explosions are soon heard throughout the academy.

Just another normal day.

xxxxx

Meanwhile in the teacher lounge, Chifuyu is sitting comfortably on the sofa. In her hands is a familiar card.

"Fufufu! Those girls can fight over their cards all they want. They'll never have this one though."

The simple title of Ichika-kun is written on top of the card. A photo of a young, five year old Ichika with both his arms thrown wide open in front of him is displayed. "Nee-san! Nee-san! Pick me up again! Pleeeeaaaassse!"

Blood drips from her nose, as she replays the voice recording again and again…

xx Omakes xx

Alternative Laura Card:

Laura stands up and places her own card beside Rin's. "Humph. It's only natural for me to carry a proper picture of my spouse."

The photo of a card showed Ichika in a wedding dress. The strange thing was that his arms were bound behind him and his expression was one of confusion. The words Bride Ichika is written across the top of the card.

"Ugh… What happened…? Eh, Laura…? Ah! W-what am I wearing? What the hell is going on Laura?"

Somewhere in the academy, Ichika shivers and suddenly gets an urge to hide somewhere.

Alternative Tatenashi Card:

Enthusiastically taking out a card from between her impressive bosom, she deposits it beside the other cards.

Feline Ichika

A photo of Ichika apparently cosplaying as a cat is printed on the card. Fuzzy white paws cover his hands and feet, and a pair of black triangular cat ears adorns his head.

"D-do I have to do this?"

"Of course~! You lost the bet fair and square. You aren't going to back out of your promise, are you?"

"N-no…"

"Then go on. Say the lines."

"G-good afternoon, m-mistress. C-can I-I have some m-milk, nyaaah…?"

Tatenashi was offered several million yen that day, but the card remained in her possession.

AN: Just a little scene I decided to write for April Fools' Day. I had this scene in my head for a while now and originally wanted to place it in IS: Resolve, but I though this is more appropriate. I hope you found it entertaining!

As for those following IS: Resolve, I haven't made written progress on chapter six yet… I have been planning out the chapter in my head though and have a basic outline for the whole chapter ready. It will take a while though since I want the next chapter to be epic…