Damn, I really hope this is a dream because this being anything but doesn't make any sense, this shouldn't exist in the real world and the only thing that I can relate this too, all of this, are experiences I have had while dreaming. It is a realistic dream because pain feels like pain and pleasure like pleasure but castles do not hang suspended from the sky like chandeliers from ceilings.
I don't remember how I got here if here is really a place but more and more often I've begun to suspect that I am unconscious in a hospital somewhere. My grandfather once told me that in his experiences as a surgeon that comatose people often woke as if from a dream. Not just a dream but the dream that every seemed to share in common, I didn't understand what he meant then but I am starting to get it now.
If I am in a hospital then I don't remember what got me there but if this is a dream experienced by the comatose I've done something absolutely terrible to my head. This is the single most seamless dream I've ever had, it slipped so easily inside of the reality of the world that it may be. If this is a dream don't know where it started and where the reality I was accustomed with began but it doesn't really matter.
In this dream I can't go back to where it started and change anything, I am trapped in an unreality that functions similarly enough to my own reality that I can't look back and I can't see forward. All I know is that in this moment I seem to be everything, I seem to have everything in my hands waiting for me to close them before they slip between my fingers like sand on a beach. The grains are falling faster now.
Not being able to move backwards is the thing that all humans share in common and so we as a race keep moving forward because that is the only alternative left to us. There are moments where there is an almost perfect recall of most of my actions, certain sights and sounds that trigger memories or maybe trigger ideas of imagined occurrences that I wanted to be real. It keeps me up at night as I agonize over them and develop them into bits of my personality, whether they be real or not they seem to me to exist and so I use them to change myself. My resolve, that which was shaped by these fragmented memories and images, somehow ended up with me fighting for a magic princess in a castle that is defying gravity by floating upside down.
My feet are technically to the sky right now and my head to the ground. It seems oddly fitting that the world I have created for myself works in ways that reflect the oddity of my favorite painting, Relativity by M.C. Escher.
My temper and code seemed to have started this all I challenge a guy for being a jerk and the ring I got in the mail by someone who in all likelihood doesn't exist gets me into a whole lot of other shenanigans which ends with me fighting a pervert for the power of eternity. But I don't want eternity and I never did.
I don't think that I can win and I'm pretty sure that this whole thing was a bad idea but I have to try and put up a last stand, to give my all to fight the man I thought that I loved in a castle that doesn't have the right to exist in a world where cars congest roads, planes travel between nations in hours, and nuclear energy has completely revolutionized the modern world. It was all hanging up side down, floating like sunlight in the canal.
There is a sound that is reaching me now, a subtle sound that seems to keep the rhythm of my heartbeat, but it is distant. Too far away from my fingers to try and grab onto. It seemed tedious and I just wanted to sleep, I was so tired and the fight that just moments ago seemed to be the crowning achievement of my life was now gone. A blackness was consuming the world and I could hear a familiar voice, someone was crying but that didn't matter either because I could hear a voice that I hadn't heard in a year or it seemed like it.
The canal and my aunt...
So, I guess all along that it was just a dream, some kind of delusion to help me move on with my life and accept moving to Amsterdam. A part of me was warm now, the warmth spilling down my back and stomach, both sides of my legs, and I was getting weaker. Fighting to stay awake seemed pointless, the next time I opened my eyes I would be in the hospital because I wasn't a prince. I could never be a prince because I was a girl and a girl could never be Dios. The last words that Anthy had said to me in that world where my body lay still warm on the floor of the castle that hung upside down in the sky like a chandelier from the ceiling.