Something that I tapped on the notes of my phone when I finished my final exam and was waiting to be dismissed. FINALLY, my hell week is over and I'm finally free to write again. A very frustrating thing that I found out the last weeks is that I become inspired in the wrong times. Ideas come flowing into my mind when I'm up to my neck in studying, and I can't do anything about it because I have to concentrate on what I'm doing. So, I ended up not writing all of it. My muse is difficult sometimes.
I suddenly became interested in the Troika pairing when I discussed it with a female friend during my break. Since she knows that I write fanfiction, she asked me if I could do a short moment between the three of them. This became the result. Haven't done this pairing before, so excuse if it's too OOC.
Again, the standard disclaimers and warnings applies.
Yukimura pushed Yanagi back, a hand covering his swollen lips. Tears gathered in his blue eyes, fingers tracing his bottom lip, staring wide-eyed at the brunet, who looked calm enough, if not for the brown eyes looking at him with such intensity that made him shiver.
The pieces finally fit together, the realization making him lean against the lockers, his knees theatening to give out on him.
"...I'm sorry." It was the brunet who spoke first, reaching out and touching a porcelain cheek. Yukimura closed his eyes and looked away, feeling a single tear roll down and touch the other's fingers. He felt violated, confused, and upset, his newfound emotions conflicting more than ever.
Yanagi sighed, pulling away when it was clear that the captain didn't want to do anything with him yet. He felt no victory, no accomplishment, only a sense of guilt for hurting the most important person in his life. But he felt no regrets, only making Yukimura accept what he already knew, the choices he must make now that another road was unveiled before him.
"Think about it." And Yanagi stood up, turning around and leaving the captain alone with his newfound revelation.
Yukimura didn't know how long he had been standing there, only aware of his tears and his breaths that came out in gasps, pushing down the hysterics that was close to following. He can't do this. Why did this have to happen? He choked back a sob, hands still covering his mouth, his mind still remembering the way their lips touched, the way his mind became so blissfully blank, the pleasuarble tingle that spread throughout his body when it did...
A different hand covered his own, making him look up, startled. Sanada was in front of him, looking at him with concern.
He saw everything. Yukimura could see it in his face, the way his brown eyes looked at him. He moved his face away from the gentle touch, unable to look at the other, full of guilt and shame that tore his heart apart.
Seeing as he was rejected Sanada didn't try to touch the captain anymore, opting to just rest his hand against the lockers, his face full of gentle understanding that hurt Yukimura more to see it.
"You love him."
It wasn't a question.
Yukimura nodded, a fresh wave of tears splashing down his cheeks. He finally looked up, reaching out to touch the other's jacket, burying his tear-streaked face into the comforting warmth. Fingers curled around the yellow jersey, clinging to it with a desperation like a man hanging on to keep hmself from being swept away.
He was afraid. Completely, terribly so.
"I love you more." He whispered brokenly, not wanting to let Sanada go, terrified that the other would leave him now that he knew. It was the truth Yukimura had been denying to himself for so long, disgusted at his fickle heart and the selfishness of his feelings.
He loved Yanagi Renji, not as deeply as he loved Sanada, but just enough to hurt the three of them, enough for him to wish that Sanada was just a friend and he could be with Yanagi instead. His heart felt like it was being split up in two, unable to decide between the two people he felt closest to in his entire life. Why did this had to happen?
Why was it so hard to choose between two people that he loved the same time?
The captain was surprised then, when a pair of arms wound around his body, pulling him closer to the other's warm embrace. He could feel the way Sanada embraced him, so tender and secure that it made him feel safe, as if the other teen was telling him that he hadn't done anything wrong. he could take Sanada getting angry at him, pushing him away or even breaking up with him, but to have this, to still be loved so much even though he didn't even deserve it, made the guilt heaviler, tears silently sliding down his cheeks.
Sanada held him close, large, warm, calloused fingers threading through his hair, his low, steady breaths a comfort and assurance, as he quietly murmured his own reply.
Really dramatic and angsty, but surprisingly, that's what I like about Troika. They'll never be completely happy together because of insecurities and guilt that their relationship would bring. As my female friend put it: Yanagi would ALWAYS be the third wheel in ANY relationship.
On another note, I'm writing a lot of things again. As always, Alpha is first on my list, but now I'm writing Platinum and Kinky Pair, and you MAY see them sooner, rather than later.
Read and review, everyone.