A/N: On one of the tumblrs I run, Twinings and I offered ourselves up for one full week of filling fic prompts for our readers, varying in length from a hundred to a thousand-plus words. The project has been dubbed the Free For All Fic For All—or FFAFFA for short. This is one of those stories—and this is the boilerplate author's note you'll see on all of 'em.

Prompt: The Joker laughing alone with salad. Yes, I am aware of the meme; I decided to go a different direction with it.

Notes: The Joker is intentionally offensive in this story because he's the Joker, but here's your trigger warning for a very broad brushstroke of ablism anyway.


Much to the puzzlement of everyone else in the Arkham cafeteria, the Joker cackled at his bowl of fruit salad.

"So, Milty," Joker said to the guard—George Milton—who'd been left to watch over him, "have you heard the one about the farmer who underwent shock therapy?"

George was new, and though Arkham's orientation video was still fresh in his mind, very little of it seemed to stick. "No…"

The Joker leapt from his seat, grabbed George by the collar, slammed his head down on the table and stuffed a sliver of cantalope into his mouth. "He made a great seizure salad!"

How the Joker knew that George was deathly allergic to melon, nobody could quite figure out. But he knew, and George was dead, and the Joker wasn't allowed to have fruit salad anymore.