Because you love it when she laughs, and you strive to see those laughs as much as possible. But then there's Jason.

You first meet her when you're 15. She's pretty. Like, really pretty. You know, with her braid and uneven hair and mismatched clothes, you think she shouldn't be. But she is.

Your story starts off pretty boring. Average. You're on a school bus with a twenty other messed up teens, and the coach is screaming his lungs off while sounding like a cross between a cow and Darth Vader. It's perfectly normal. And she's there, and this guy, Jason. You're pretty sure that you know both of them pretty well, since you'd bonded together since coming to the Wilderness 'school'. You call it a school 'cause boot camp is pretty much forbidden vocab at the place. It's totally normal.

Then things get weird, and you realise that everything is totally not normal after all. (And coach is like, a goat or something, which doesn't help at all, thanks.)

She's like, a demigod or something, and so is Jason, and so are you, and it blows your mind 'cause wait, your dad is a Vulcan? There are all these kids around suddenly, and they say they're your siblings. Because moments earlier, this sign had appeared saying that you were the kid of a god. You're the son of Hay-fay-stus, this ugly dude who made weapons and stuff. (You knew you were awesome, but seriously, by then it was getting pretty ridiculous.) Jason's the son of Jupiter or Zeus or something. It's weird, 'cause now you imagine his dad to be that huge planet up there with a permanent red stink-eye. And Piper is the daughter of Aphrodite, the goddess of love herself.

You have to admit, it fits.

And she looks amazing after her transformation. Really pretty, you have to notice.

And so does Jason.

And that sucked.

Then there's the quest. It was fun for the most part except the parts where you almost died and when she and Jason started to flir- ahem. They became good friends. Period. Anyhow, it ended well enough, because you all lived to see another day, and they figured out why Jason had lost his memory, and why the hero Percy Jackson had disappeared.

And- oh yeah, you became head councillor for the Hephaestus Cabin. (You know who your dad is now. You're not exactly proud of him, but hey, he's your dad.) And soon, you become pretty popular, what with that warship and all. Being the son of the lord of the forges, you can't wait to get started. But you also know that your favourite part of building it will be adding Festus's head to the front. He'll be your lucky charm. After all, he was the best thing you'd ever fixed.

Jason and she are spending lots more time together. She watches him train, and they're always talking and giggling and looking like lovebirds. One night, at the campfire, you think you see them holding hands.

You wish that was you. You and her. Not Jason. Never Jason.

You don't hate the guy. You like him; he's your best friend and all. But he's a hero. You're the sidekick, and stories always seem to dictate that the hero always wins the girl. And the sidekick gets nothing, because they're not important enough to care about. Besides, you're the repair guy. You fix stuff and make stuff and get along with everyone, but you're not Jason. You can't swordfight or mouth-off at monsters and get away with it.

But Jason can.

Eventually, you finish the warship. It looks really magnificent, with all the weapons and aerodynamic-proportions and stuff. Festus's head looks really menacing, like it's about to bite your head off unless you give it some Tabasco sauce. There are 144 rooms exactly- bunkrooms, bathrooms, meeting rooms, kitchen, even a forge. And you'd managed to persuade Annabeth to add a game room as long as she got her library and tactic room.

Then you set sail.

You're off to find Percy Jackson at the Roman Camp. Because it's almost time to go off and fight the giants and Gaea in Rome and Greece. You're one of the seven, and you and all the others are hoping to find the three other members of your little team. Percy and a couple of newbies.

Other than having grown an inch and a half precisely and having trimmed your hair, nothings really changed. You still pine for her in private, and for other hot girls in public. She and Jason are still together. Nothing's changed.

But it soon will.

When you get there, there's this chick named Hazel, and she faints when she sees you.

Your name is L-e-o Valdez, not S-a-m-m-y Valdez. It shouldn't be so hard to understand, really. You don't know any Sammy's (except that hobo you used to see around when you were still in Houston, when your mom was still alive and not dead. You used to bring him leftover lasagna since he was really nice when he wasn't drunk.) You're really confused about why this chick is staring at you like a dead man. She's cute, sure, but she isn't any Piper.

This other guy, Frank, seems really pissed at all the attention you get from her. Then you learn that she's the daughter of Hades/ Pluto. You still don't get why planets and gods had to have the same names. It's confusing. Anyhow, she died and came back to life and use to know a guy named Sammy Valdez. And it turns out that you looked exactly like him.

But to you, that's not really important. Piper and Jason had long been together, so really, you had no chance. And yeah, Hazel could be a total babe.

And then there was this other hot chick, Reyna. But yeah, you soon realised that she was unattainable and was a total hottie except for the fact that she was like, a total robot. She didn't have any feelings at all. You're so different, it's ridiculous. The only thing you guys have in common is that she seems to be as jealous of Piper that you are of Jason, not that either one of you would ever admit it.

But still, life goes on.

Then there's the war and shit happens. You almost died, they almost died, everyone almost died. Aside from that, you didn't. You and the Olympians and the Romans and Piper won the freaking war. Yay. On the downside, you survived with no permanent brain damage, wounds, or scars of any kind. The PTSD passed after rebuilding a perfect model of Festus- miniature sized.

And then-

You grew up.

Annabeth and Percy got married, fucked, and had babies. They got a happy ending.

Frank and Hazel got married. Moved to Canada, for good measure. They got their happy ending too.

Piper and Jason grew up and got married. Left. Moved to Rome. Built a memorial for the dead demigods. Had babies.

They're happy too.

So basically, you grew up and stayed single and lonely. You established a reputation as a famous engineer by the age of 18 and designed some of the best inventions and weapons ever seen by mankind. Got excepted into MIT. Graduated. Moved on. And yet, you couldn't help but realize that by the time you were 20, everyone you knew seemed to have moved on with their lives and left.

So when Jason asked you to be his best man, you smiled and nodded, because you had too. You had to stay happy for them. Because you'd always love her unconditionally, and you'd love him too, as a brother and as a friend.

But you didn't have to like it.

And that pretty much summed it up for you.

Jason won the girl. Jason became a hero.

But you're not Jason. Your name is Leo Valdez. Leo. You're a sidekick, and you're never, ever, ever in the whole universe, and not even in another universe are you gonna get the girl.

Sorry. We did warn you.