A/N: this is a crossover between dear fanfiction and dear blank please blank. You could consider it either my first or second fanfic because I wrote a pretty good one shot before, but my computer deleted it before I could post it.

Disclaimer: yes, I totally own the rights to PJatO. I'm not really a teenager, I Rick Riordon; I just felt like writing on the web for no money.

Dear people who need a date,
While your love life is nonexistent, that doesn't mean you have to exaggerate ours. We're not Aphrodite kids who love mushy romances, so either get a life, or get a lethal injection.
Sincerely, Clarisse and Chris.

Dear people who love fake romances,
No we are not dating. Where do you people get this crap? Where did it ever even suggest we were dating? Seriously people, get it together!
Sincerely, Travis and Katie

Dear homophobes,
Yes gayness exists in the world. Why can't it exist in a world of demigods? Deny our relationship as long as you like, but know that it won't go away.
Sincerely, Perico.

Dear Thluke worshippers,
Where to start? Well first I'd like to start with the fact that LUKE IS DEAD! Secondly, what part of swearing off love forever don't you get? Seriously, we were never in nor ever can be in love. For those of you who claim that I date Luke when he tries for rebirth, did it ever occur to you that once he's reborn he will A) have no memories of me and B) be reborn as a BABY. Get this through your heads people: Thluke could never happen.
Sincerely, Thalia

Dear authors who seem to be having an Identity crisis,
Just because you can't decide on how you want your personality is no excuse to change ours. Nico is not social. Thalia is not a girly-girl. Annabeth is not careless. Percy is not extremely self-conscious. Get it? Got it? GOOD.
Sincerely, Nico, Thalia, Annabeth, and Percy.

Dear Valley Girls,
If you want to be valley girls, at least don't write like them. Do you realize how annoying it is to read a sentence that says "So then she was all like "Omg I Like totally like love this totally awesome dress. It's like all like sparkly and stuff!"" We get enough of you people in school, don't impinge on our free time with this insult to writing.
Sincerely, people you are driving insane

A/N: Please don't feel offended if you write with one of the things I criticized. I was only trying to write from the POV of some characters, not trying to criticize anybody's fics. Some things may conflict in the future (ex, one time perico, another time percabeth), so I'm sorry If I confuse you. To the people who dislike dear fanfiction and plan on flaming because of it, note that at the beginning I mentioned that this involved dear fanfiction stuff. If you read that then read and disliked the story, nobody made you read it, so don't complain to me that you didn't like it. I welcome all suggestions and constructive criticism. Any flames will be donated to the Society of Roasting Marshmallows.