Chapter 5

Jack tried his best to keep up with Ennis, but he had long legs and walked quickly. He was desperate to catch up to him and talk about what had happened, and he had to know for sure if Ennis had feelings for him. If he did...they might be able to get together.

Ennis, meanwhile, was struggling to walk as his head spun. He had come onto Jack, nearly kissed him, and now he was sure that Jack was going to rebuff him. He had felt Jack grow hard against him, but that didn't necessarily mean anything. He could have simply been affected by the close proximity of another male body; it didn't mean that he was attracted to him. He had to keep some distance between him and Jack; he couldn't bear to let himself get hurt.

They reached the road on the edge of campus, and Ennis paused as the cars went past. Jack saw the opportunity to catch up to him. "Ennis! Wait up!" Ennis prayed that he would be able to cross soon.

"Leave me alone, Jack!"

Jack caught up to him just as the road cleared, and Ennis half-sprinted across. Jack groaned and kept going after him. He had to talk to him.

"Would you slow down? We have to talk!"

"Ain't nothin' to talk about, Jack!" Ennis said over his shoulder.

"Bullshit, come back here!" They reached their dorm building and Ennis headed for the stairs, unwilling to wait for the elevator. Jack walked quickly after him, trying to get him to talk. Lureen was sat on the sofa in the common area, and she watched them in confusion as they passed her.

They ran up the stairs, Jack nearly tripping on the way as he tried to catch Ennis. They reached the third floor and Ennis hurried to their room, getting out his key as he approached the door. He went inside and stood there, hands over his mouth. He was terrified that he was about to lose Jack as his friend. Just because Jack was gay didn't mean that what had happened was welcome. Jack followed him inside and closed the door behind him.

"Ennis, look at me. Come on." Ennis turned slowly, nervous of meeting Jack's eyes. Now he was in for it.

"Jack, I..." he stammered, hoping that Jack wouldn't make a big deal out of it. "Look..."

"What happened back there? One minute we're having fun, and the next..." Jack waved a hand in exasperation. "I just..."

"Nothin' happened, Jack. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that..."

"Ennis...it's okay," Jack said softly, moving forward. "It doesn't matter."

"It does, Jack. I shouldn't have just...I'm sorry. Look, I...I'll move out of the room if you want me to."

Jack's eyes widened. "What? Why?"

"Well...you probably don't want me around no more, right? After what I did..."

"You didn't do anything, Ennis...stop panicking already." Jack raised his hands. "Just listen to me...I know you got hard back there..."

Ennis shook his head, backing away in a panic. "Don't mean nothin'. I'm real sorry."

Jack could only stare at him. "What the hell? You didn't do anything...calm down..." He tried to move forward, but Ennis backed away, completely freaked out by what he'd done. If they hadn't been interrupted by those other students, he dreaded to think what he might have done. What if he'd tried to do more to Jack? He would have hated himself for a long time.

"Jack...I'm sorry. You're my friend an' all, but...I'm sorry that I tried to..."

"What? That you tried to kiss me?"

"No, nothin' happened. I'm sorry." He ran a hand through his hair, feeling his heart sinking at the thought of losing Jack. He just wouldn't hear that Jack was trying to get through to him. "Look, I gotta go." He moved past Jack, who gripped his arm, determined to get him to talk.

"Will you just stop and listen to me?" Jack hissed, trying to look into his eyes. "I'm trying to talk to you." Ennis met his eyes, once more struck by their intensity. He had such strong feelings for Jack, but it was too much for him to hope that Jack felt the same, which was why he just had to get away. He wanted to be with Jack more than anything, and he was scared of getting hurt. He knew that if they were together, it would be incredible. It was simply too good to be true that Jack might feel the same.

"Jack...I can't...I don't..." He stared into Jack's eyes and was again fighting the urge to kiss him. He was convinced that Jack was going to tell him that he didn't feel the same, and he was scared.

He reluctantly pulled his arm out of Jack's grip and left the room, leaving Jack to stare after him. Jack was utterly confused; why had Ennis run away from him like that? Why did he keep denying that anything had happened between them? They had nearly kissed, Jack realised with a flutter in his stomach, and he had been looking forward to it. And more importantly, Ennis had been hard against him. That was a definite sign that he'd been affected by their close proximity, which gave Jack hope that Ennis was feeling the same.

Ennis fled down the stairs, mind still foggy. He'd hated having to deny that anything had happened, and he wanted nothing more than to go back and tell Jack how he felt. He wasn't sure where he was going; he just needed to get away.

"Ennis?" It was Lureen, looking confused. "What the hell's goin' on? You two just ran past me like a bat outta hell. What's wrong?" Ennis shook his head, backing away.

"Nothin', Lureen. It's okay, nothin' happened." He kept walking, out of the door and the building. Lureen stared after him, wondering what on earth had happened. She needed to talk to Jack, and he and Ennis would clearly need to talk.


Lureen headed up the stairs to the third floor, searching for Jack. She found him in his room, sat on his bed and staring into space. She knocked and he looked at her.

"What the hell's goin' on?" she asked him, moving into the room. "I saw you guys run past me like yer runnin' from a bull, an' then five minutes later Ennis comes back down, all freaked out. What happened?" Jack shook his head and put his hands over his mouth. Lureen sat down next to him.

"Jack, come on. Tell me." He looked at her again.

"We were in the indoor swimming pool on campus. I wanted to go for a swim and I asked him if he wanted to come with me, and he said yes. So we went over there. We had a swim and talked a bit about our parents and everything. It was really good, like it used to be between us."

"So what's the problem?"

Jack sighed. "We got back into the locker room, started towelling off. I was dripping everywhere so he tossed me another towel, telling me to clean myself up. I tossed it back...and he started cracking me on the ass with it." He smiled a little. "And...I told him to cut it out, he did it again...and we were messing around. I grabbed the other end and we were both pulling at it. It was really fun...but then..."

She watched his face change. "What is it, Jack?"

"I gave this big pull...and before I knew it...he came crashing into me. We staggered back into the wall...and our faces were this close..." He held up his hand, with his thumb and forefinger just a small space apart. Lureen's eyes widened.

"Shit...what happened?"

"Well...I got hard. And I wasn't the only one." He gave her a meaningful look.

"Oh my God...you mean...?" Jack nodded. "What did he do?"

"He just froze there, staring at me...we were in each other's arms...it felt incredible."

Lureen smiled a little, but then her face turned serious. "Then what?"

"He looked at me, then looked at my lips...he started to lean in..." Jack stared at the opposite wall, recalling how he had felt when he had realised that Ennis was going to kiss him.

"He was gonna kiss ya?" she whispered, staring at him. Jack shrugged.

"I guess. He was really close...but then...some other guys came in to use the pool. We heard their voices approaching..." Jack covered his eyes with his hands. "Ennis freaked out, jumped away and started getting dressed."

Lureen put a hand on his shoulder. "Oh...I guess that's why he was goin' so fast."

"Yep. I got dressed too and literally had to hightail it out of there just to keep up with him. He kept running away from me, across the road, then up here...I kept shouting after him, trying to get him to stop and talk to me. But...he just wouldn't listen. Kept telling me to leave him alone."

Lureen sat back a little, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. "Wow...that explains why he was actin' like that."

"Yeah...anyway, we got up here...and he was still trying to get away from me. We ended up in here, and I tried to get him to talk to me, but he wouldn't. I got him to look at me, but he was acting really weird. He kept apologising, like he'd done something wrong."

Lureen's eyebrows furrowed. "Something wrong? What like?"

"I don't know...I guess he was feeling sorry for nearly kissing me, and getting hard, but...it wasn't as if it wasn't welcome. He knows I'm gay, and even if he's thinking I'm not attracted to him, he should have at least realised that it wouldn't bother me. Right?"

Lureen waved a hand, unsure of what to say. "Well...I guess. There is one explanation. He likes you, but he's convinced that you don't like him. So...maybe he felt guilty about comin' on to ya like that."

"Well, he's got no reason to be. Hell, I want him to come onto me. I want to kiss him and have him hold me, and all those things. I want that more than anything...so if that's what he wants too..."

"Then you need to talk to him. You have to make him realise that you want the same thing. If you can do that...you're on yer way. You could get together."

Jack looked at her. "I want that more than anything, Lu. I wanna be with him. I'd love it if he felt the same."

She nodded. "Well...for what it's worth, I think you two would be great together. I hope it works out for you."

"Yeah..." Lureen thought for a moment and then got up.

"Hang on, I'll be right back." She left the room, leaving Jack to watch her in puzzlement. She came back a few minutes later, tossing him something as she came back in. "Take these." He looked down at it; she had handed him a box of condoms. His eyes widened.

"You've got to be kidding me, Lu. What the hell?"

"I'm just sayin'...if things work out..."

"Well, yeah, but...that doesn't mean..."

"If you two get together...you know what that involves. You have to be safe."

"I've never been with a guy before, and neither has he. We really need these?" he asked her, holding the box up and giving her a look. She nodded.

"Always best to be safe. You got any, uh...stuff? Like KY or somethin'?" Jack put his hands over his face.

"Good grief, Lu. And no, I don't." She nodded.

"I'll run to the store an' get you some." She kissed the top of his head and left.

"You're a true friend, Lu," he called after her in a dry voice, rubbing his forehead. He then fell back onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He knew one thing for sure; he liked Ennis, and Ennis appeared to feel the same. He hoped that they could work things out.


Ennis sat on the bench in the park near campus. It was starting to get cold and he was still a little chilly from the swim. He had dropped his bag in their room when Jack had been chasing after him, and he didn't have anything with him. He knew that he would have to go back at some point and talk to Jack, but he couldn't face him right now.

He had spent the last couple of days or so convinced that Jack didn't feel the same as him, so when he had felt Jack grow hard against him, he had thought that it was too good to be true. He hadn't dared to hope that Jack wanted him too, and that he might just get everything he wanted. He had fallen for Jack, big time, and what he wanted most was for Jack to tell him that he had fallen for him right back. He thought it would be wonderful if they were together.

Ennis had grown up knowing about gay people, but he had always heard bad things about them, never good. But meeting Jack and finding out he was gay had completely changed his perception of gay people. His father was quite homophobic, and Ennis knew he wouldn't like it if he found out that he was having feelings for another guy. But Jack was right; he shouldn't have to live his life based on what his father thought. He had broken free of his father already by coming out here, so maybe he would be okay to pursue a relationship with Jack. He didn't know for sure yet if he was gay, but all he cared about was fixing his relationship with Jack.

He sat there, staring around the park. He didn't know what to do now. He had to move before it went dark, but what would happen when he returned? He needed to figure out what he wanted. Jack had tried to talk to him on the way back, but he hadn't tried to listen. Ennis thought back to what Jack had said; that it didn't matter, that he'd done nothing wrong. Could that possibly mean that Jack liked him too?

Maybe he does...maybe he feels the same. That would be so great...for him to like me too...

Ennis sighed to himself; he thought that he knew what he wanted...to be with Jack. And from what he knew, Jack just might want to be with him. Was it worth a try?

Probably, he thought to himself. I sure wouldn't mind bein' with someone who I'm close to, like him. Could be really good. He's just...a real good guy. An' I won't never forget those dreams I've had. I wonder what it'd be like if we got together. God knows he has a great body...wonder what he'd feel like?

Ennis shifted as his mind filled with lustful thoughts about Jack. He couldn't stop thinking about what had happened in the locker room, and now he was feeling guilty for running away from Jack when he'd tried to talk to him. Jack had tried to get through to him, and all he'd done was rebuff him. He covered his face with his hands, feeling disgusted with himself for not giving Jack a chance to talk to him. And as much as he'd tried to deny it, something had happened back in the locker room. He had been affected, and now he wanted more. He wanted to find Jack, apologise and tell him how he felt. But he wasn't sure if he had the guts.

His cell phone buzzed in his pocket, and he got it out to see a text from Jack.

Where are you? Hope you're okay.

His heart sank; Jack was worrying about him. He didn't have the nerve to text back. He then saw another message; this time from Lureen.

I know what happened. You have to talk to him. He's worried.

He couldn't bear to reply to this one either. He didn't know what to do, so he decided to go for a walk. He tucked his hands in his pockets against the cold as he walked, wondering where Jack was and hoping that he was okay. He would return to the room once he had his head sorted out.

Ennis ended up in the diner, trying to eat a cheeseburger and trying to work through his muddled thoughts. He didn't know if he was gay, he didn't know how successful a relationship with Jack might be in the long-term, and he dreaded his father finding out. He was only sure about one thing; he wanted to be with Jack right now. He wanted to kiss him and hold him. He wanted to sleep with him. He felt his heart rate increase as he realised this. He wanted to lie down with Jack and let things just happen. If his dreams were anything to go by, it would be incredible.

He dropped his burger onto his plate and held his head in one hand, staring at his food. He wanted to get back to the room, but he didn't have the guts just yet. He finished his food and decided to go for another walk. He needed the air and he needed the time to think. He knew that he was just putting it off, and that he would have to talk to Jack eventually.

Ennis stayed out a lot later than he had planned, and it was almost ten at night when he finally made his way to the dorm building. He had quite a few unanswered texts from both Jack and Lureen, asking where he was and if he was alright. He knew that he would have to have a long conversation with Jack about the whole thing, and he would probably have to talk to Lureen too, and apologise for making Jack worry. But right now, all he wanted was to be with Jack, in whatever way he could.


Ennis silently walked up to the room, hoping that Jack was still awake. He thought he knew what he wanted now. He tried the door, and it opened easily; Jack had left it unlocked for him. He looked over at Jack's bed, but he couldn't tell if Jack was asleep. He sighed to himself and turned to lock the door behind him, heart sinking. He jumped when he heard Jack's voice.

"Ennis?" Jack could hardly believe it; Ennis had returned. He'd been worried about him all day, and both he and Lureen had sent a few unanswered texts to him. "That you?"

"Yeah." He heard Jack sigh.

"You okay? You've been gone for hours..."

"I'm fine. Um...can I come over?"

Jack's heart skipped a beat at the request. "Sure. Come here." Ennis made his way over to Jack's bed, sinking to his knees on the floor beside it. Jack propped himself up on his elbow and looked at him. They could see each other properly now in the moonlight from the window. Jack looked worried as he searched Ennis's face.

"You sure you're okay?" he said quietly, one hand resting on the mattress. He longed to reach out to Ennis, but he had to hold himself back. "You really freaked out back there..."

Ennis placed one hand on the mattress, near Jack's. "I'm sorry, Jack..."

"What for?"

"For...freakin' out like that, runnin' off an' not lettin' you talk to me. For just...all that back in the locker room...what I did..."

"I told you earlier, it's okay...it doesn't matter. You didn't do anything wrong."

Ennis met his eyes unsurely, seeking reassurance. "But...I got hard...an' nearly kissed you..."

Jack looked at him, sensing how scared he was. "I got hard too...and I wanted you to kiss me." Ennis looked into his eyes in surprise.

"You did?" Jack nodded.

"Yeah. All the way back here...I kept trying to tell you that it was okay...because it was what I wanted. Did you want to kiss me?"

Ennis gazed into his eyes; even in the moonlight he could see their bright shade of blue. He sighed as he realised what the answer was. "Yeah. I did."

Jack nodded, and then slowly slid his hand over to cover Ennis's. "Do you still want to?" he asked hopefully. Ennis could feel Jack's caring touch, and he knew that he had to act on his feelings.

"Yeah..." he breathed. He looked up at Jack, wanting him to make the first move. His confidence had been shattered and he needed Jack's guidance. Jack understood and leaned towards him.

Very slowly, Jack came in close to Ennis, nervously anticipating what this might feel like. Both of their hearts were beating fast and Ennis could hardly breathe. At long last, their lips met, very gently. Jack pressed his lips to Ennis's, drawing him in and caressing his lips with his own. Love blazed in their hearts as they finally connected, and everything suddenly seemed to make sense.

They broke apart slightly and stared at each other, unable to think about anything but each other. "Jack," Ennis whispered, eyes slightly closed. Jack smiled a little, and then made a surprised sound as Ennis leaned up towards him, seeking his lips again. They kissed more firmly this time, and Jack's hand found its way to the back of Ennis's neck, stroking his curls. Ennis couldn't move but he was happy to let Jack do whatever he wanted.

After a few minutes of kissing, which felt like hours to them, they broke apart for air. Jack could see lust in Ennis's eyes, and he gulped. He knew what he wanted, what they both wanted, but were they ready?

He thought for a moment, and then decided to bite the bullet. He shuffled away slightly, making some room. Ennis looked at him in confusion, and then his eyes widened when Jack pulled away the quilt, inviting him under. He held his breath, hoping that Ennis would want to. Ennis looked into his eyes, knowing that Jack was letting him make the decision for himself, and then made up his mind. He wanted this.

Ennis slowly rose up, and then slid in next to Jack with his heart hammering in his chest. They lay on their sides, facing each other. Jack tentatively brought a hand to his face.

"You sure you want this?" he whispered, thinking of his dreams and wondering if they would be reflected in reality. Ennis nodded, terrified yet sure he wanted to do this. Jack leaned in and kissed him again, gently probing Ennis's mouth with his tongue. Ennis opened his mouth and moaned a little when Jack's tongue found his. They kissed for several moments, their saliva mixing and breath mingling. Jack pulled away when he felt how quickly Ennis's heart was beating. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just nervous," Ennis admitted, eyes closed. "Keep goin', Jack..." He rolled onto his back, tugging at Jack's waist and pleading him with his eyes. Jack was struck by how vulnerable he looked, and all he wanted right now was to give him comfort and make him feel loved. He slid one leg over Ennis and straddled him, pressing their bodies together as they kissed. His hands were in Ennis's hair and Ennis was running his hands along Jack's bare back, feeling his skin at long last.

Jack helped him undress, as his hands started to shake with nerves. Jack kissed him to try and get him to relax. When they were both naked, Jack rose up onto his knees, looking down at him. With Ennis watching his every move, he opened the drawer in his nightstand and pulled out the box of condoms Lureen had given him. He made a mental note to thank her tomorrow for her foresight. He put one on and then grabbed the KY she had given him. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Ennis.

When they were both ready, Jack put one hand between them and looked directly into Ennis's eyes. "You're absolutely sure about this? This is probably gonna hurt..."

Ennis nodded, needing to feel Jack, no matter how much it would hurt. "I know. But...I need you..." Electricity snapped between them again, and they knew that what was about to happen would be very special. Jack lifted Ennis's legs and slowly began to push into him, praying that he wouldn't hurt him too much. Ennis gasped at the feeling. It hurt a lot but he didn't want Jack to stop.

Jack paused, sensing his discomfort. "Easy, Ennis...it's alright. Just breathe..." He cupped Ennis's cheek, waiting for him to calm down. Ennis sighed and began to relax. Jack smiled and continued to push in, and when he was finally where he wanted to be, everything else seemed to melt away until it was just the two of them, right here. This was where they were supposed to be. Jack leaned over Ennis and kissed him as he started moving slowly inside him. He kept his thrusts to a minimum, instead choosing to just move around a little. When Ennis whispered to him to move more, he started thrusting properly, trying to keep things at Ennis's comfort level.

They were doing it; they were making love as they had fantasised for so long, and it surpassed everything they had envisioned. This was a feeling like no other, and Jack never wanted it to end. He thrust a little quicker, trying to find that special place that he knew would make it all worthwhile. Ennis's arms were around his neck and his legs were around his waist, pulling him further in. He couldn't believe how amazing this felt, and how good Jack was. He had never felt like this in his entire life, and he knew now that he was definitely in love with Jack. He wanted them to be doing this for the rest of their lives.

Jack found what he was looking for, making Ennis shake and gasp beneath him. The thrusts became smoother and quicker, Jack kissed Ennis all over his face and on his lips, and soon enough Jack could feel a warm wetness between them. Ennis felt like his head was being split open but he didn't care. Jack buried his face in Ennis's neck as he too had an orgasm like nothing he'd ever had before.

They collapsed together, and then Jack pulled himself out. When he started moving away, Ennis gripped his wrist in alarm. "Where you goin'?" Jack smiled and kissed him softly.

"Relax, I'm just throwing this in the trash." He disposed of the condom with a look of distaste, and then crawled back up and under the covers. They lay facing each other again, smiling and kissing softly. As they fell asleep, they both knew that their lives had been changed forever.


A few hours later, Jack awoke from a blissful dream of him and Ennis. They had been in bed, slowly making love and kissing until they were finished. He opened his eyes and saw Ennis, lying next to him and fast asleep.

Then his memory caught up to him; they had been in bed together, and they had been having sex. He couldn't stop a grin from unfurling across his face as he remembered everything they had done together. Ennis had come back, and he had apologised for running away. Jack didn't think that an apology was needed, but he understood that Ennis felt he needed to give one.

And then...Ennis had admitted that he'd wanted to kiss him, which had made his heart soar. Ennis did return his feelings, and tonight had been a clear indication that he wanted the same things as him. Jack couldn't believe his luck. They were already best friends, and now they had fallen for each other. Could there be a more perfect relationship to be in?

Don't think so, Jack thought to himself happily. There must be people out there who are in a relationship, but their lover isn't their best friend. Lureen's my best friend too, but I'm allowed to have more than one. And Ennis...he's so much more than that. I can't describe it...he's amazing.

Jack watched Ennis breathe as he slept, looking completely peaceful and untroubled. This was the sight that Jack wanted to wake up to every morning for the rest of his life. Despite being so young, Jack didn't think it was strange for him to know what he wanted; that was to be with Ennis, maybe forever. He wanted them to have a life together, but he figured it might be too soon to discuss this with Ennis. He was still very new to this and he scared easily. Jack knew he loved Ennis, and he figured that if they could make this work, things could be great, and Ennis would soon relax into being in a relationship with him.

He thought about Ennis's father, and everything Ennis had told him about his home life. He felt sorry for him for not having a good relationship with his father. He also knew that if he ever found out about this, there was a good chance that he would take it very badly, maybe even disown him. Jack didn't like that possibility, but it was there. He swore to himself that if that happened, he would be there for Ennis no matter what. He swore to protect him and look after him if he needed him to. He didn't care how young they were, or how unstable things were right now. All he knew was that he loved Ennis, and wanted to be with him.

Very gently, he raised his hand to touch Ennis's curls. They were soft and bouncy, and he smiled at how they looked on Ennis. He really was very good-looking, Jack had to admit. He had never seen anybody more beautiful in his life, and he wanted to be with him forever.

Jack then realised that he needed the bathroom, so he sat up and carefully moved over Ennis, trying not to disturb him. He pulled his pyjamas bottoms from the floor and slipped out of the room. He padded down the hall, wondering what time it was. As he neared the bathroom door, he saw Lureen emerge. She stopped when she saw him, and her mouth opened. "Jack?"

He smiled at her. "Hey, Lu. How's it going?" She gave him a suspicious look at how happy he seemed to be.

"What's with you? Never mind that, did Ennis come back?" Jack grinned, barely concealing his joy at how Ennis had come back to him, and what they had shared.

"Yeah, he did." He shifted his feet, loving to tease her about this. He knew that she would want details. "We, uh...we worked things out." Lureen's eyes widened as she realised what could have happened.

"Wait a minute...did you two...?"

Jack grinned even further. "You'll have to wait. I gotta use the bathroom. Listen, I'll talk to you tomorrow, alright?" Lureen looked indignant. She loved Jack like a brother and wanted to know that everything was going to be alright between him and Ennis. She knew that they could be a great couple, and she was eager to help them get on the same page.

"Wait a minute...what the hell happened with you two? You gotta tell me!" She grabbed his arm. "Come on, Jack..."

He laughed a little and pulled his arm out of her grip. "You'll have to wait, I'm afraid. Come on now, I gotta go." He kissed her cheek and she let him go, feeling frustrated. Still, he did plan on telling her what had happened between him and Ennis. But he really did need to go.

When he returned to their room, Ennis was thankfully still asleep. Jack slipped out of his pyjama bottoms and clambered back over him to his side of the bed. Ennis didn't stir, just kept on sleeping. Jack thought he could get used to this, being with Ennis night and day. He felt warm and happy next to him, and he knew that this was how he wanted things to be. He even thought that this was how things were meant to be. Maybe they were, despite how early it still was. All he knew was that he was in love, and there was a good chance that Ennis felt the same.

He looked over Ennis's face, taking in his features and how he looked as he slept. He looked like he didn't have a care in the world, and Jack hoped that he could make Ennis look like that all the time. He was determined to try his best, and make this relationship work. He knew that this could help them both be the happiest they'd ever been, and that it could last forever.