Chapter 9

October 19th - 30th, 2003

Over the next couple of weeks, things between Ennis and Jack improved. They were having sex most nights, and always slept in an intimate position, usually one behind the other and spooning. It always felt good to wake up next to each other. Even if one of them had an early class, they set their alarm a little bit earlier than normal so that they could make out for a while. Sometimes one of them would roll on top of the other and they would rub together. Ennis still wasn't ready to be the one in full control, but they were satisfied with how things were going.

Ennis still hadn't managed to talk to his father, despite his efforts. He called the ranch every few days in an effort to get him to the phone. His mother was trying her best to get his father to talk to him, but it wasn't working. Whenever this happened, Ennis usually slumped his shoulders and tried to burrow into his shell, but Jack was always there to hold him and whisper words of comfort. They usually sat on one of their beds while they did this, and Ennis would burrow into Jack's chest, while Jack rested his chin on Ennis's head. Ennis was extremely grateful that Jack was part of his life, and that he cared about him so much. He didn't know what he'd do without him.

One day, Ennis was in their room doing some work, and thinking about Jack. He was due to be walking back from class about now, and he had offered to get them some chicken and sodas. It was quickly becoming their staple food for spending private time together, and Ennis loved this aspect of their relationship. Jack had assured him that he didn't feel like a dirty secret, and that he was prepared to wait until the time was right for both of them before they went public.

Sure enough, he heard a tapping on the door. "Ennis?" He got up to let Jack in, both of them grinning when their eyes met. "Hey, bud."

"Hey." Ennis took the sodas and set them down on Jack's bed, and Jack put down the chicken. They simultaneously turned to each other, drawn together like magnets. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, melting through each other and enjoying the feeling of being in each other's arms again.

"Mmm..." Jack moaned happily, thoroughly glad that he was back here, alone with the person who was quickly becoming the love of his life. Nothing else in his world felt as good as this, or this right. Everything just seemed to make sense when they were together. They prised themselves apart and gazed into each other's eyes. Ennis looked down into Jack's smiling face; his favourite sight. Jack looked so happy and Ennis was relieved that he made him look like this. He no longer felt unworthy of being so happy, and he was starting to believe that he deserved Jack's love.

Jack sighed and pressed one last kiss to Ennis's lips. "We better get eating that chicken before it gets cold, huh?" Ennis nodded and they climbed onto the bed, fluffing up the pillows and sitting close together. They put the drinks and the bucket of chicken between them and got stuck in.

"What drinks did you get?" asked Ennis, trying to figure out which was which. Jack tapped the top of his own drink.

"I got Coke for me and orange for you. I know you like that better." He smiled at Ennis, who gave him an appreciative look. Jack found the remote and flipped on the TV, looking for something to watch. The only thing on worth watching was an old western, so they left it there. Jack figured that they wouldn't be paying much attention anyway; they were always far too engrossed in each other. He gave Ennis a look and then picked up a large piece of chicken. "Hey, come here." Ennis looked at him in puzzlement.

Jack broke off a strip of chicken and put it into Ennis's mouth, grinning widely. Ennis accepted the chicken and then sucked on Jack's fingers a little. Jack fixed him with a loving gaze and leaned in to kiss him, enjoying the taste of the chicken on his lips. They fed each other from the bucket, enjoying how close they'd become lately. Neither of them had ever been this happy before. As Jack had predicted, the movie went unnoticed as they turned their attention to each other. When the food and sodas were consumed, Jack switched off the TV and they lay down together, kissing and pressing close. Ennis was moaning into Jack's mouth and he slipped a hand under Jack's shirt, feeling his smooth skin. Jack grinned into the kiss and laughed a little.

"Ennis...I'm ticklish there, remember?" he said, breaking away and smiling at his lover. Ennis grinned dozily and kissed the tip of Jack's nose.

"Sorry, bud. I forgot. Can't help but wanna touch ya..." They leaned in again and kissed, finding each other's tongues and lacing their fingers together. Jack rolled on top of Ennis and straddled him, eyes full of desire. They slowly undressed each other and threw their clothes to the floor. Jack then held Ennis's face in his hands as he kissed him, yearning to be inside him.

"Ennis...can I?" he whispered, full of need. Ennis slowly nodded.

"Yeah..." He was touched that Jack always asked for his permission before fucking him, knowing that it was a big deal for him. He reached for the lube (he'd had to buy a new tube) and prepared himself. He slid Ennis's legs over his shoulders and slowly pushed in, watching Ennis's face and keeping his feelings in mind. When he was fully in, he saw Ennis close his eyes in pleasure, and he covered him with his warmth, kissing him gently as he started to thrust. The next few minutes passed in a blur, ending in yet another amazing orgasm for them. Afterwards, they lay there holding each other, basking in the afterglow and their love for each other.


The next day, the pair of them woke up to find that the building had been decorated for Halloween. Jack didn't have a class today, so he offered to put a pair of costumes together for the party later. Ennis agreed and managed to prise himself away from him with one last kiss. Jack scoured all the costume shops he could find, mentally kicking himself for not thinking to get them sooner. But he figured he could be forgiven for it; he had been rather distracted this month, after all. He managed to put together a pirate outfit for himself and something resembling a vampire for Ennis, complete with fake fangs.

He got back at four in the afternoon, walking into their room to find Ennis reading on his bed. Ennis looked up as he entered and they smiled at each other. "Hey, bud."

"Hey," Jack said breathlessly, tossing the costumes onto his bed and closing the door. He found himself being swept up in Ennis's arms and kissed warmly. "Mmm," he moaned in surprise and then comfort. The feeling of being held and kissed like this by Ennis was unbeatable. They pulled apart slightly and looked into each other's eyes.

"You have a good day, Jack?" Ennis asked softly, running a hand through his hair affectionately. Jack nodded.

"Yeah. Got us some good costumes, I reckon. But if you wanna take a look, you have to let go of me," he replied with a grin. Ennis smiled and kissed him one last time before reluctantly letting go. Jack grinned to himself and turned to the bed.

"How'd your lecture go?" he asked as he rifled through the bags. Ennis stuck his thumbs through his belt loops.

"Okay. Thought on you a lot..." he admitted, going a little red even though Jack couldn't see. Jack tossed a smile over his shoulder.

"Well, take a look at this." He pulled out his costume, holding it out so Ennis could see it properly. "Pirate costume for me, thought it was kinda cool." Ennis nodded in appreciation, thinking about how good Jack would look in it. Jack then brought out the costume he'd found for Ennis, biting his lip.

"What do you think of this?" he asked. "It's supposed to be a vampire...got fake fangs and everything..." Ennis moved forward and inspected it closely. It was pretty well-made, he had to admit, and he wouldn't mind wearing it. He looked up at Jack and smiled.

"Looks pretty good. Thanks, Jack." He leaned in to kiss him and Jack smiled against his lips.

"Well, glad you like it. And you know..." He put the costume aside and slid his hands up Ennis's chest. "I sure wouldn't mind you biting me a little..." He gave Ennis his best seductive look, and Ennis pulled him close by his hips.

"Huh...I'll have to remember that..." They kissed again, tongues tangling together and hands roaming. They had exactly three hours until the party started; plenty of time to get up to something.

A little later, once they were satisfied for now, they changed into their costumes and Jack helped Ennis put his fake fangs in. They slotted in comfortably so he could still talk and everything. Jack kissed him thoroughly to make sure that he could still do that. They dusted each other off and kissed a few more times before heading out.

Downstairs, music was already playing in the common area and there were a couple of Halloween-themed games going on. A few students in a corner were bobbing for apples and everybody seemed to be drinking cider. Ennis and Jack grabbed a couple of drinks and moved around, keeping an eye out for Lureen. People were dressed in an array of costumes, a lot of them famous movie characters. They snacked on candy and pieces of pumpkin pie. They could see lit jack-o-lanterns hung up everywhere, casting an eerie glow in the semi-darkness. Jack hoped they could find a dark corner somewhere and make out a little.

They were sat on one of the sofas and talking to some other students when Lureen arrived, dressed as a cheerleader and attracting more than a few stares. Jack had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing, and Lureen caught it. She gave him a shove.

"Shut up, asshole. I like it." She blushed a little. "It's my old one from high school, alright? Still fits."

Jack nodded. "It ought to, with all that dancing you do." Ennis grinned in amusement.

"So anyway," she said, grabbing herself a cup of cider. "How are things with you guys?" The pair of them looked at each other.

"Pretty good," said Jack, shifting a little. "Been nearly a month now..." Ennis looked back at him, hardly believing it himself. A month of pure happiness like he'd never felt before, and the hope that they had many years together ahead of them.

The party was pretty good, and they ended up dancing with Lureen a couple of times before things started to wind down around midnight. They knew that a couple of students were likely to be running around the building for another few hours, making supposedly scary noises, but Jack told Ennis that it was best to just ignore it. They headed back up to their room and locked the door safely behind them.

"Alone at last," Jack said softly as they moved towards each other, wrapping themselves around each other and kissing, glad to be alone. They kissed slowly and gradually moved towards Ennis's bed, eager to be together in the best way possible. They crawled onto the bed, Jack on top. When they had undressed and were under the covers, Jack whispered into Ennis's ear what he wanted. They locked their arms and legs around each other and began to rub together from side to side, faces buried in each other's necks as they sucked on each other's skin.

Their release came in good time, and Jack looked down into Ennis's eyes as they cooled down. He thought about how much he loved Ennis, and how he hoped that Ennis felt the same.


November 4th, 2003

It was a clear day, and Ennis and Jack both had the afternoon off, so they went back to the park that they'd found. They had bought burgers and fries from the diner to take with them, and walked slowly as they ate. They were very happy and relaxed as they walked through the luscious greenery.

Two days before, Ennis had tried yet again to talk to his father, but to no avail. Ennis loved talking to his mother, and hearing about what was going on back home, but he was starting to feel a hole in his heart where his father should be. He knew deep down that they might never repair their relationship, but he didn't want to just give up. And when he came off the phone, he turned to Jack for comfort. Jack had done his best to make him feel better, slowly making love to him and taking his mind off it. Ennis had appreciated this a lot, and told Jack so.

They reached the bench and sat down, still eating. A little distance away, they could see a squirrel darting about. Everything was so peaceful here and this was how they liked it best. Jack kept glancing at Ennis, making sure that he was alright after yet another failed attempt to talk to his father.

Jack cast around for a topic that would distract Ennis and get him talking. He'd learnt by now that he had to draw Ennis out if they were to have a proper conversation. He just wasn't the type to initiate conversations, at least not deep ones. Jack didn't care too much; he loved Ennis just as he was, and he liked it when they talked.

A thought finally came to mind, and he cleared his throat. "Hey, Ennis?" His lover turned to look at him.

"Yeah?"

"Um...there was something I wanted to ask you, if that's okay..." Ennis nodded.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Um...you remember last month, when we were talking about what we wanted to do when we graduated?"

Ennis nodded. "Yeah...you said you wanted to be a counsellor or somethin'..." He remembered saying that Jack would be good at something like that; he was really good with people. Jack always seemed to know how to handle him when it was needed.

"Right. You said back then that you didn't know what you wanted to do...have you thought any more about it?" he asked, picking at his fries and watching Ennis's face.

Ennis looked into Jack's kind, loving eyes, wondering if he should tell him. He was still uneasy about opening up to people about his hopes for the future, but Jack was different. They were close and deeply connected. He also knew that Jack would never judge him for anything; despite being from different financial situations and different backgrounds, it was never mentioned, and Ennis could tell that Jack didn't care about that. He wanted to tell Jack his hopes for the future; he wanted to share everything with him.

"Um, well..." he started, shifting a little to face Jack. "I, uh...I did have one thought..."

"Yeah?" Jack asked, looking interested. Ennis looked at him nervously.

"Um...promise me you ain't gonna laugh..."

Jack laid a hand on his arm. "Ennis, come on. It's me, you can tell me anything. I promise I won't laugh."

Ennis nodded, thankful for Jack's confirmation. "Well...I had a thought. With my major an' all...I thought I might have a go at...becomin' a vet or somethin'." He went a little red and looked away. "I like workin' with animals, an'..."

As he spoke, Jack started to smile. He had a gut feeling that Ennis would make a great vet; he was calm and gentle, and he could be very loving. He also knew that if it would make Ennis happy to follow his heart and do what he wanted, then he would always be supportive of him. He shifted forward and put an arm around Ennis's shoulders.

"Aw, cowboy...I think that's great. You'd be a real good vet, I reckon. And I'm not laughing, see?" Ennis looked at him shyly, pleased by the fact that Jack was being so supportive.

"You don't think it's dumb?" he asked, picking at his jeans. Jack lifted his chin and made him meet his eyes.

"No, sweetheart." The endearment slipped out for the first time, and Ennis's heart filled with warmth to hear Jack call him that. "If this is what you want, I say go for it. Like with us. You have to go for what you want, Ennis, or you'll never be happy. I should know." Ennis was nodding, leaning his forehead against Jack's. "And if you want to be a vet, I say give it a shot."

"You mean that?" Ennis asked softly, prompting Jack to take his hand.

"Yeah, I do. You know I'd never lie to you, especially not about stuff like this. Look..." He sat up and looked into Ennis's eyes. "I've got faith in you, Ennis. I believe you can do this. Is that really what you wanna do with your life?" Ennis nodded again and Jack kissed him gently.

"There you go. I say go for it. And you know what? If you want me to, I'll be there. I'll be right behind you every step of the way. I promise." Ennis smiled widely, heart bursting with love for him.

"Jack...I dunno what to say. Thank you..." Jack leaned in and kissed him again, drawing his tongue out and making him moan softly. They broke apart and smiled at each other. Ennis felt lighter at having told Jack his hopes for the future, and he felt closer to him than ever. They turned back to their food and continued to eat, Jack wrapping his leg around Ennis's ankle and holding onto him.

They did some work in the library for a couple of hours and then returned to their room, lying down and relaxing together in each other's arms. Things felt right when they were together.


Three days later, they made plans to go to the movies again. They couldn't find any playing that they liked, so they decided to pick one at random so they could make out at the back of the room. They planned to go to a pizza place first and share a large pizza together. They were becoming more accustomed to going on dates together.

Ennis came back from the bathroom to find Jack buttoning up his shirt, and he grinned. "Yer doin' that the wrong way if you ask me." Jack turned and batted his eyelashes at him.

"Aren't you a sweet talker?" he said, stepping close to Ennis, who immediately shut the door behind him for safety. He brought Jack into his arms and kissed him firmly, pushing his tongue into his mouth and dropping his hands down to his ass. Jack grinned into the kiss, locking his fingers in the small of Ennis's back.

"Mmm...Ennis..." he murmured against his lips. He reluctantly pulled himself away. "Come on, we better get a move on." Ennis shrugged, not letting go.

"We'd only be doin' this anyway...I wouldn't mind stayin' here." Jack smiled.

"I'm hungry and I wanna get out of here. Come on, cowboy." He gave Ennis a gentle squeeze and moved away from him. Ennis could only smile at him as he moved around their room, full of love and wonder as he took in Jack's features and muscled body, visible even through his shirt.

Jack then turned to him and sighed. "We ready to go?" Ennis nodded and kissed him one last time.

"Yeah, let's go." They left their room, passing Lureen on their way out of the building, and stepped out into the late afternoon. Jack looked at Ennis.

"Um...whose car are we taking?" he asked nervously. He always felt uncomfortable when the reality of their different financial situations stared them in the face. It became less of an issue as they grew ever closer, but it always niggled at Jack's mind. Ennis shrugged.

"We can take yours of you want. Ain't no big deal, right?" He was putting on a brave face; as much as he loved Jack, he couldn't help but feel inadequate sometimes. He often caught himself wondering why Jack was even bothering with him; it wasn't as if he had anything to offer Jack. All he could do was try to love Jack as much as possible and let him know that he appreciated him.

Jack just nodded and unlocked the car. They reached the pizza place and slid into a circular booth. For a Friday night, it wasn't too busy. The tables nearest them were empty, so they felt a little more relaxed. They ordered a large pepperoni and large sodas, and then settled back against the booth. Jack glanced at Ennis and then started playing footsie with him, making him blush and grin. He started playing back, rubbing his foot against Jack's leg. With a quick glance around, they linked hands between them, squeezing gently. Jack gave Ennis a loving look, not caring who might see.

"Ennis, I..." he started, wondering if he could find the words this time. He longed to tell Ennis that he loved him, and he hoped that his nerve wouldn't fail him too many more times.

"Yeah?" Ennis replied softly, squeezing his fingers again. Out of the corner of his eye, Jack could see their food approaching, and he reluctantly slid away a little.

"Nothing. Some other time." Ennis's face fell at having his time with Jack interrupted, and he swallowed his disappointment. He wanted to know what Jack was going to say; had he been about to tell him that he loved him? He sure hoped so; nothing would make him happier right now.

Wonder if it was that? he mused to himself as they began to eat. An' even if he did...could I say the same? I dunno...I love him a whole lot, but...I dunno if I could say those words yet. What if he does say them, an' I can't say it back? He'll be crushed...what if he breaks up with me?

Ennis mentally shook his head. Jack wouldn't break up with him over something like that; he was certain. He would be disappointed that he couldn't say the words, but maybe he could say something else to let Jack know how he felt.

They finished the meal and left, getting back into the car. Jack felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to find a deep kiss being planted on his lips. He made a surprised noise and kissed back, not knowing where this had come from but not really caring. They pulled apart a little and looked into each other's eyes, smiling and feeling happy.

Finally at the cinema screen, they picked a movie at random and sat in the back, not paying it any attention. Ennis, emboldened by the darkness and privacy, had an arm wrapped around Jack's shoulders, and Jack was leaning in towards him as they made out, hands roaming over each other. Jack slipped his hand under Ennis's t-shirt, feeling his warm skin. Ennis bucked without thinking and gasped a little.

"Jack, we can't...not here..." He cupped Jack's cheek, and Jack took a deep breath, trying to ignore his arousal.

"I know, I know...come here..." They kissed more slowly, frustrated at having to keep a lid on their desires. Ennis was sure that they would be breaking a few laws if they tried to go at it here, and he sure didn't want them being locked up. He pulled away from Jack's lips and stroked his face, watching him as he calmed down and then smiled.

"Can't wait to be alone with you," he whispered.

"Me neither, bud," he murmured back, leaning back in again.


At around nine that night, they finally returned to their room. Jack gently nibbled at Ennis's neck while he tried to open the door, and they walked in. Ennis switched on his bedside lamp and turned to Jack, who was looking at him in a way that made Ennis want to get him into bed. He opened his arms and coaxed Jack into them. "C'mere, Jack." He did so and Ennis pulled him close, gazing into his eyes.

"Can do whatever we want now," Ennis said softly, and Jack smiled.

"Yeah..." They leaned in and started kissing, finding each other's tongues immediately and melting into it. Jack was moaning softly into Ennis's mouth and they walked backwards. Ennis's legs hit the bed and they fell onto it, making surprised noises as they landed. They ran their hands all over each other and continued to kiss.

Jack pulled his mouth away and looked down into Ennis's eyes. Normally, they were a deep brown with a little fleck of green in them, but right now they were different. The silvery moonlight was shining through the window, and the lamp was also shining in Ennis's eyes. They now had a silver hue to them, and the sight shot straight into Jack's heart. It was beautiful and Jack knew, as he lay on top of him, that he wanted to be with him forever.

His heart filled up with overwhelming love as he looked down at Ennis, who was now watching him. Everything he felt for Ennis came crashing down on him all at once, and he became overcome with emotion. He started to shake and his heart rate increased. Ennis could feel him shaking. "Jack?"

"I...I..." He needed to tell Ennis how he felt; he could no longer hold it in. Ennis pressed a hand to Jack's chest and felt how quickly his heart was going.

"Jack...your heart's beatin' real fast. What's wrong?" Concern filled him up and he took hold of Jack's shoulders. "Come on, Jack..."

Unable to talk coherently, Jack lifted himself off Ennis and sat on the edge of the bed, head in his hands. Ennis sat up behind him and placed his hands on his shoulders again. "Jack...?" he asked, fearful that something bad had happened to Jack. "Are you okay?"

Jack took a couple of deep breaths and looked nervously back at Ennis. "I...I've got to tell you something, Ennis..." He saw Ennis nod and felt him run a hand up and down his back.

"Okay...somethin' bad?" he asked fearfully. Jack shook his head.

"No, but...please don't be mad at me," he replied, looking scared. Ennis touched his cheek.

"I ain't gonna get mad, promise. Just tell me." Jack nodded and nervously twined his fingers together.

"Alright...it's something I've been feeling for a while. Been plucking up the courage to tell you for ages." He sighed and then looked back at Ennis.

"Ennis, I...I love you."

Ennis froze, digesting what he had just heard. His mouth slowly opened in surprise and his heart soared to hear Jack say those wonderful words at last. He'd been hoping to hear them for a month.

"Uh...you...you do?" Jack nodded, unable to hold it in any longer.

"I do, Ennis...I love you. I'm in love with you. I..." He couldn't say anything else, could only stare at his lover and wonder what was going to happen now. After several moments of silence, Ennis finally spoke again.

"Oh...Jack..." He smiled, feeling happier than he had ever been in his life. Jack loved him. He shifted close to Jack and brought their foreheads together. "Jack, I..."

"Please don't be mad..." Jack whispered, looking into his eyes. Ennis pressed his lips to Jack's, surprising him with his gentleness. He pulled away and stroked Jack's cheek.

"I ain't mad, Jack...it's okay. You really do?"

Jack relaxed when he realised that Ennis wasn't going to get mad at him, and he gave a nervous grin. "Yeah, I do. So much, Ennis..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I love you...a lot."

Ennis smiled and leaned in again, kissing Jack more fully. He kissed back and they held onto each other, hearts bursting with love for one another.

When they finally pulled apart, Ennis tried to reply in kind, but his nerve failed him. "Jack, I...I, uh..." Jack saw that he was struggling and shook his head.

"It's alright, Ennis. You don't have to say it back. I know it's harder for you..."

"I wanna say it, but..." Now Ennis was the one feeling nervous and scared. Jack placed his hands on Ennis's cheeks.

"Don't worry about it, Ennis. You don't have to say it back if you can't...I understand."

"But...don't want ya feelin' disappointed...like I don't feel nothin'..."

Jack kissed him again. "I don't, I promise. I know you must feel something, after everything. I could never be disappointed in you, Ennis. I just told you I love you, right?" he said with a smile. "You don't have to say it back if you can't."

Ennis nodded, and then looked directly into Jack's eyes. "I do, though. You gotta know I do, Jack..." He hoped that Jack did indeed know how he felt, even though he couldn't say it.

All Jack could do was look lovingly at him and continue to rub his arm. "I do, Ennis...I know. Don't worry about it, alright? I know how you feel." He leaned in again and kissed him, pressing his hands to his chest. They lay down again and started to undress, needing to feel each other immediately. Jack pushed Ennis's legs up and slowly slid into him, holding him in his arms and feeling Ennis wrap his legs around him.

They shifted into a comfortable position and looked at each other. "I love you, Ennis," Jack said softly, once more giving Ennis butterflies in his stomach. He swallowed and held onto Jack.

"Uh...same here, Jack," he managed. Jack smiled and went to work, showing Ennis how much he loved him.