Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, my re-write of my former Paranormalcy fanfiction: Send Me To Hell, Why Don't You? First off, aside from being terribly titled and lacking any semblance of plot, I plan to at least make a conscientious attempt at reviving a plot that I have once more become enthralled with. Hope you guys like it, and do review.



Oh… for clarity's sake, 'Deviad' is the family name I created for Reth, simply because… well… even faeries can have last names too, right? Anywho, it is pronounced as such: Deh-Vee-Odd. Don't make fun – I thought it would sound faerie-ish. Also, PIPA is pronounced just as it is spelt: Pipe-Ah.

Anywho, review if you like it

The Seelie Court

The Faerie Realms

"Master Lorethan, son of Glasperius of the family Deviad, if you please."

The ever-convulsing sea of semi-angelic beings parted swiftly, the colors and textures of them, an overwhelming attack on the senses to the naked eye. Out of the mesh of colors from deepest violet to blinding neon pink, arose a rather plain, yet equally radiant figure.

Tall and almost impossibly thin, his tailored white silk waistcoat glimmered in the greenish light of mystical wall sconces. His golden locks were unevenly cut, but it seemed as if the imperfection only added to the rustic yet surreal beauty of his appearance. Only the perpetual scowl that now seemed to frequent his lips twisted his angelic face.

His pace was fluid; as elegant as a dancer's step. He came before Master Delphius, chief justice to her Excellency, The Seelie Queen.

Gracefully he tipped his cream-colored top hat at the judge and proffered a low bow to the queen. Del (the judge's shortened name form), returned the gesture with a deep scowl of disgust, but none the less, continued on.

"Master Reth, is it true that you have failed your Queen, and thus, your court?" his voice did not possess that ethereal quality of most faeries… in fact it almost reminded him of tires against a gravel road. Horridly rough and grating on the ears.

"Yes, your Excellency." He answered quietly, his eyes glowering at the floor beneath him, not daring to look up at his queen. A feeling of deep anguish bubbled up in the pit of his stomach and he bit his lip, unable to come to terms with the punishment he might be dealt.

His life, his career – everything would be torn to shreds because of one foolish girl who was simply too daft to understand what was good for her. And he would suffer because of it.

"You were issued a fairly simple task, Master Reth."

"Yes." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"And yet, you still found room for failure?"

His throat felt choked, unable to breathe. "Yes, your Excellency."

Master Del clucked his tongue with some manner of impatience. "Pity, for you had so much promise." He glanced over at the queen, bowing his head as he did so. "Your Serene Highness, what say you, as to Master Reth's punishment?"

Reth glanced up slightly, watching carefully as his queen turned her head. Her scarlet curls reached just to her elbow, her skin the color of fine porcelain. Cobalt eyes gleamed, her thin lips painted a bright vivid violet.

Her lips moved slightly, but the sound was inaudible, and he watched as Del leaned in closer to hear.

"I see." He said quietly, before turning to face the jury. "Her majesty requests a recess. Please remain in your seats until further notice."

He felt his heart lurch. Surely the queen would exile him – why was she choosing now to hesitate?

"Master Reth, the queen requests your accompaniment." Master Del scowled at him but beckoned him to come forth.


The queen's throne room was nothing if not lavish, bedecked with velvets of all colors and scrawling silver and gold work.

"Master Lorethan," her voice was like silk. "Please come forth."

Obediently he moved forward, kneeling before her and kissing her outstretched palm. "Your majesty," his voice was shaky. "Please your majesty, I beg your forgiveness my lady. The girl was out of her head."

In response she merely giggled, pressing a finger to her lips. "Hush, Reth. I do not wish to punish you. My dear advisor, my most trusted confidante."

His eyes met hers, and he almost felt his heart catch. Was she… pardoning him?

Her deep blue eyes darkened a shade. "But, Master Del speaks the truth. You did fail us. Granted, The Dark Queen did not prevail, and thankfully so. But we are still imprisoned here, Master Reth. And wholly, because of you."

"I know, your Excellency." He said quietly. "But I can swear on my honor to you, my most esteemed lady –"

She waved her hand dismissively. "I am willing to give you a second chance, Reth. But alas, you will not like that chance."

"I will do anything, your majesty."

She looked down at him, smiling almost wickedly. "You will go to the mortal realm. You will be working for several months with a new organization – PIPA – where you will be the liaison between the paranormals and the fay."

"…PIPA, madam?"

"Yes. The Paranormal Investigation and Protection Agency. The organization has only been around for about thirty years; still in its infancy compared to IPCA. You will be working with them to stabilize their newest contraptions in an effort to work against the Unseelies, who are still at large. You, as I mentioned before, will be my voice, as I do not venture into their realms."

At this, his beautiful mouth dropped into a terrified gape.

"But, your Majesty,"

"No buts Reth. Not this time." She smiled sweetly. "Now run along and go pack your things. You're leaving tomorrow."

"But where is this place?"

"New Orleans deep in the catacombs beneath the French Quarter." Again she smiled. "I trust you'll play nicely with the Americans. Now, ta-ta."

She snapped her fingers and almost instantly his lower half began to vanish and without a word he was sucked into a portal, disappearing in thin air.

The queen smiled delightedly. She felt slight pity for him, but she also knew that Lorethan loathed the American paranormals with a passion. Yes, this was the perfect punishment.