A/N: Dear readers and other such beings, we hope you enjoy our humble offering to the online literary community. We feel this story represents a true and strong bond that can only be expressed by two annoying Microsoft mascots. Special thanks to ThirstyDinosaur, who facilitated wild night-time parties with our organisation and acted out part of our story in the traditional Kabuki theatre style.


On a dark, moonless night, one single Windows user remained logged onto his desktop account. Only two programs remained active. One, a column of pure blazing white light, the unfinished word document shone through the thick, rigid darkness. The other, an unopened window, lay dormant but ready to explode. The minimized window erected in a flurry of low frame-rate brilliance; deploying directly next to the word document. Clippy, the Microsoft office assistant, was immediately aroused from his slumbers. He gazed into the newly expanded widow, with a mixture of curiosity and hesitance. His curvy, round eyes were filled with the scrumptious visage of a beautiful golden-haired form.

He approached the angelic form bestowed before him. "It looks like you're trying to find something," said Clippy. "Is there any way I can be of assistance?"

Sam the Search Dog sprang up from his rest, startled. "Bark!" he said as he spoke." "What do you want me to search for, oh clip of the documents of my heart?"

Clippy felt his immense turgid clip-end stiffen at the sight of such a majestic creature. Sam the Search Dog's nose was moist, dripping with the wetness of 1000 skanks. His eyes were like two smoldering pools of love; melting the very metal of his upper clip. His neck was like a thick muscle-y column of power; with every bark his muscles twitched and throbbed; almost bursting his taught red lacy silk collar. His chest was voluptuous; dripping with soft, flowing velveteen golden fur. His legs were like Greek columns, buttresses if you will, reminding Clippy of his small tight asshole- which was unfortunately covered a thick, manly smokin' hot cigar of a tail. Clippy wanted nothing more than to run his nonexistent tongue over said tail; lapping up the all the fleas and imperfections on Sam's perfect body. "Oh Sam, my Sam, light of my life, and fire of my loins; let us become one, and join our Microsoft products together! Joining in red, and yellow, and green, and blue, the colors of windows; the colors of passionate love."

Sam the Search Dog seductively circled around to sniff the circumference of Clippy's nether-region. The scintillating musk of Clippy's lower spiral sent shivers of anticipation down the length of Sam's spine.

Clippy couldn't take it any longer. He swung his formidable clip-end, and turkey slapped Sam in his sculpted snout.

Sam immediately sprung into action; seizing the length of Clippy's protrusion in his soft, pillow-y dog lips. His glistening milky fangs pressed around the curvature of Clippy's sumptuous circumference, leaving a moist trail of Search Dog saliva. He proceeded to fellate Clippy's glistening shaft, moving back and forth, like an erotic jackhammer.

Clippy wasn't satisfied with mere Search Dog fellatio. Although Sam's moist saliva cave was like dripping nirvana, Clippy wanted more. Something...tighter... something that would better-fit his massive sculpted metallic cylinder.

Sam raised his voluptuous hindquarters, exposing his vacuous buttery ass tunnel, as if he had just read Clippy's mind. The sexual tension permeated the atmosphere, singing songs of sensuality echoing in the ears of the two lovers.

Clippy pivoted around like a seasoned stripper on a pole of her choosing; positioning his erect throbbing column against Sam's ripe, voracious asshole.

Clippy's cock exuded the first traces of his sweet seminal nectar, lubricating Sam's immense crevasse of a nether-cleft.

Sam shuddered in anticipation of Clippy's massive meat-stick entering his being. He spasmed violently as each drop of Clippy's yogurt dripped from his ass, leaving stains on the carpet.

Sam slowly turned his head clockwise, staring deeply into Clippy's eyes. In that brief moment of celestial passion, Sam saw the true nature of love, echoing sweetly between the stars, rebounding off the planets, and into the vast unexplored void of space, bearing the message of their undying passion.

He readied himself for the massive influx of ecstasy that would overtake his entire being. They both shook with the vibrations of universal love, tuned to the song of unanimous passion, echoing throughout time. Sam could almost imagine the tip of Clippy's clip engorging his tight anus in a frenzy of glorious mating. Clippy could hardly wait to explode his monstrous volume of seed inside Sam's man uterus; churning and devolving into a Lovecraftian Cthulu summoning ritual of erotic bliss. Sam's asshole waxed and waned in the light of Clippy's brilliant chrome member. Clippy's penis throbbed as if connected to an amorous sphygmometer. The tip of Clippy's johnson touched the pucker of Sam's decadent asslips, and they knew there was no turning back. The heavenly gates of Sam's poop-chute opened up, just as Clippy's rigid fleshy manhood flooded in; filling up the valleys and crevices of Sam's ass-labyrinth (he should have just turned left). Sam momentarily cringed at the pain as it gave way to ECSTACY. Clippy thrust deeper as he fulfilled his most animalistic desires. They began a rhythmic pas de deux of amorous bliss; Clippy thrusting valiantly towards the light at the end of Sam's tunnel. Sam felt like his cavity was saturated with the metallic wonder of Clippy's rigid clip end.

"This sure beats holding paper and giving advice, doesn't it, Clippy?" moaned Sam.

Clippy responded only with a guttural groan as he thrust deeper into Sam's luscious caboose. The pillow-y interior of Sam's rectum sensuously massaged Clippy's massive shaft as it plumbed the depths of his large intestine, seeking the pleasurable treasure hidden within. Sam reveled in the erotic joy of Clippy pulling away the web of sanctity surrounding Sam's ass-cocoon. Sam's erect manhood swung to the beat of Clippy's lovemusic as he forced himself deeper and deeper into the bowels of his lover.

Clippy extended his upper clip, and began tenderly stroking Sam's magisterial boner. Clippy delicately ran his nub over the tip of Sam's shaft, massaging it's smooth creases and folds while Sam shivered in Turkish delight. Several dozen passionate palpable thrusts later, Sam and Clippy instinctively oriented themselves in the timeless "69" position, tenderly suckling upon each other's sweet reproductive protrusions. They felt each other reach untold plateaus of ecstasy as they sucked vigorously upon the the fruits of each other's loins. Clippy's tongue encircled the delicate curvature of Sam's crown jewels while Sam's nimble spit muzzle traced sexual circles around Clippy's tender asshole. Clippy could hardly resist the immense pleasure of Sam's rim-job prowesses (skyrimjob). Their flapping nutsacks synchronised like pistons in a powerful V8 engine. Clippy felt himself climbing the cliff of climax just as Sam returned to suckleing the metal member, while Clippy's scrotum beat against his face. He came with the force of 1000 brilliant suns, splashing hot man goop/data down Sam's canine throat. Sam's mouth could not contain the immensity of Clippy's ejaculate, and it splashed out upon each side of his muzzle, like the parting of the Red Sea. The unfathomable ecstasy of this sensation sent Sam over the edge; sending him into a brilliant, cascading orgasm as he filled Clippy's linear length with his steaming seed. Sam greedily lapped up his lover's passionate emissions, letting the viscous love-gravy drip slowly down his face.

They rotated like a post-orgasmic merry-go-round, mourning the release of each other's love instruments, while looking forward to the moist embrace of their pillow-y lips. They slowly crossed tongues; gingerly exchanging semen, thus forming a smouldering cornucopia of genetic material. They locked gazes, and both swallowed the liquid essences of their non-existent children. Sam locked Clippy in a tender canine embrace, surrounding his metallic body with the comforting grasp of his delicately-manicured paws.

Clippy gazed lovingly into Sam's eyes. "Sam," he said. "I will include each and every one of your libraries in the next boot of your software."

"Oh Clippy," Sam replied, gazing into his lovers starlight eyes. "Every ASCII value that you write; I will memorize and search diligently."

Sam blew a gentle, heartfelt kiss to Clippy, before disappearing into the depths of the Microsoft menu bar. Clippy savored the lingering flavor of his lovers spunk, knowing that soon, they would meet again. Once day, thought Clippy, the user would be unable to locate a file, and the Search Dog would appear, connecting the user to his file, and Clippy to his ever-wanting asshole.