A/N: If you have ANY liking for Britney Spears stop reading now… if you don't… then… I dunno… I think it's safe for you to read then… so… I like the dots… dots… dots… dots… ok moving on… So… Me Diva (Diva937) and Angel (Angelina) have decided to write a fic together… we're sitting here sugar high, hyper and having a sleepover but we doubt we're going to get any sleep… where was I… right… we are not responsible for any and all costs for medical help after reading this story… if you are already insane… then… you can check into our newly opened padded wall hotel… we're regulars there! … lol! The chair just gave out on Angel! Luckily she caught herself before she hit the floor… maybe I should ACTUALLY do an intro to this fic now… what do you think Angel? yes she agrees… so… our fic… is about HARRY POTTER! For those of you TRULY blonde out there… Angel: Hey! Nick is blonde… and this intro is a bit long, cut to the chase girl! Me again:… fine… story… about harry potter… written after downing 44 oz slurpees each and tonnes of candy… so… yeah… beware…
Harry Potter looked up into the sky, wishing that the angels in heaven would drop his chocolately treats. It had been two hours and he had not had a single M and M. He was very proud of himself but he could not resist the urge anymore. He fell to his knees and cried out in vain wanting his M and Ms. (Angel: Not my fault I'm eating M and M's right now…)
Once again Harry thought of his precious chocolate. How he needed them so. Since the authors were not allowing him to have any M and M's, he decided that he would try and find some at the local Husky station. (Diva: *turns to Angel* did we see Harry at Husky? Angel: No…I don't think so.)
He dug in his chest for his invisibility cloak and finally found it under a stack of porno magazines. He mentally cursed Ron for hiding them there. He grabbed his bag of change and walked out of the bedroom and into the common room.
Hermione was sitting by the fire reading a book. (Angel: So what else is new? Diva: Does this remind you of anyone? Together: BOOKIE!) "Harry?" She closed the book, keeping her page with one finger. "Where are you going so late at night?"
"Umm…" He stuttered slightly. "To the Husky. Bye!" And then ran out the portrait hole, knowing Hermione would suspect he was going to buy M and M's. She'd been trying to help him overcome his cravings, but nothing would work. (Angel: what kind of things did she do? Diva: *raises eyebrow*)
Harry jogged down the deserted streets (Diva: This is very geographically incorrect Angel: *rolls eyes* it's a story, you freak! Diva: I am not a freak. I've just over-analyzed the books. Angel: Mhmmm…), his stomach crying out for M and M's. (Diva: I can just picture the people reviewing this: "What is with the M and M's?" Angel: Again, not my fault that I'm eating them right now…I didn't inspire this story, really I didn't… Diva: suurrrree…) Harry then realized that he had forgotten his money. He yelled loudly at nobody, except the mean angels in the sky who would not drop him some of his favourite candy and hurried back to Hogwarts. How he'd managed to drop his change within the two seconds he flew from his room and out of the portrait hole, no one will ever really know. (Angel: not even the authors… Diva: just like how no one knows why ducks quacks don't echo. Angel: SHUT UP with the trivia already. This is gonna be a long night. Diva: I love trivia. And yes it is…I have a 44 oz slurpee…yeah, it's gonna be a long night. Angel: *sigh* Diva: YAY FOR TICTACS! Angel: Kill me now, somebody please kill me now!)
Harry burst through the hole in wall and angry words instantly flooded to his ears. Hermione knew what he was doing and she was not pleased one bit.
He ducked and ran as quietly as he could toward the boys' dormitories.
She followed. (Angel: is she allowed in there? Diva: I don't think so. Angel: *laughs evilly*)
Hermione slammed the door and threw him down on the bed. "If you never eat another M and M, I will give you whatever you want."
(Angel: Where are the other boys? Diva: They are doing their homework, somewhere other than where the two of them are? Angel: Okay, I can live with that.)
"Whatever I want?" He asked, raising one eyebrow.
"YOU SICK PIG!"
(Together: We don't wanna know…)
Harry laughed and pushed her off. While she was fixing her thick hair, which had fallen into her eyes, he bolted the door and made another break for the Husky.
(Angel: Wait…didn't he bolt the door? Diva: He was on the other side. Angel: Oh…okay. Diva: YAY! We hit two pages! Angel: Did you know there are aqua M and M's? Diva: No, I did not. Angel: Well there are!)
He picked up his change bag and once again ran out the portrait hole on his quest for the Husky. He had to get there, and he had to get there fast. He didn't know how much longer he could last without having M and M's.
(Diva: … You have NEVER had candy corn??? Angel: no…have you ever had Troll's fish and chips? Diva: Yeah, I think I have. Angel: DAMNIT! Diva: that was kind of random…okay, back to the story…)
Harry turned the corner and the Husky was now in his sights. He sighed in relief and ran through the double glass doors into the harshly lit conventional store. Here, he hit two artificially created boobs that knocked him over onto the linoleum floor.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" He yelled, looking up.
Britney Spears stood over him, peering down and holding a Pepsi. "For those who think young." She stated.
(Angel: since when is Britney Spears in our story? Diva: Since I came up with the idea! Go me! You weren't supposed to type the go me part. Stop typing what I say. Angel: Whoops, too late. Diva: HEY! *sings Pepsi song*)
"The joy of Pepsi," she sang. Her voice made Harry's ears hurt.
(Diva: Hurts my ears too. Angel: *nods in agreement*)
Harry stood up and looked at her. She was short, and he stared easily into her eyes.
"Oops I did it again…" she shrieked and squealed, causing Harry to seriously wanna die.
"I just wanted M and M's," he groaned.
(Angel: are people going to hate us for being mean with Britney Spears? Diva: Who would hate us for being mean to Britney Spears? Angel: *shrugs*)
"Hit me baby one more time!" She continued.
"Gladly!" And Harry did just that.
(Angel: We're gonna get hate mail. Diva: Are you going to tell the readers that he slapped her or just leave them to wonder? Angel: I think I'll leave them to wonder. Diva: *giggles* Hey, wait a sec, I don't giggle! Angel: Sure you do. Everybody does. Diva: I don't. Angel: do so! Diva: do not! Angel: Just shut up and get back to the story. Diva: Haha, I won!)
Harry pushed past miss fake-boobs and wandered towards the candy shelf. He ruffled through the chips, the cheesies and the skittles until he realized one thing…
THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY M AND M'S!
(Diva: *chair gives out* Angel: *laughs like a lunatic* Diva: You are a lunatic. Angel: Hey, I resent that. Diva: These authors's notes are the only things keeping this story alive. Angel: Did you just figure that out? Diva: Uh…no… Angel: I told you to bring your brain to this sleepover! Diva: I did, I'm just slightly blonde. Angel: Uh huh, and I'm just slightly addicted to the Backstreet Boys… Diva: I'm choosing to ignore the sarcasm there.)
Harry slumped to the floor, feeling drained and depressed. Now what was he going to do?
(Angel: Go back to Hermione? *grins evilly* Diva: I wouldn't trust him to do that right now. Angel: That doesn't make any sense. NO GOODBYES ROCKS! Diva: *laughs* Our readers are going to think we're insane. Angel: And they don't already? Diva: Merely stating the obvious. That's my title. It was my MSN name for a while… Angel: Back to the story…)
He turned and fled, hoping maybe he'd come across another convience store somewhere. Luckily, Hogsmeade happened to have a Seven Eleven. (Angel: since when? Diva: since I said so. Don't question us, we're the authors. Angel: *shrugs*)
Harry ran in the doors and to the candy aisle. The clerk behind the counter looked at him curiously, wondering what he was doing in Seven Eleven at three o'clock in the morning. But, it was Seven Eleven, and it was open twenty-four hours a day, eight days a week. (Diva: Eight days a week? Angel: Shut up, it's the sugar typing, not me. Diva: I'm not that sugar high yet. Or that stupid. Angel: I said SHUT UP! *grins* Diva: No! I don't wanna shut up.)
And once again, Harry was confronted with his biggest nightmare.
NO M AND M'S! (Angel and Diva: *gasp*)
Tired, lonely and M and M-less, Harry finally decided to call it quits. He trudged back up the dark streets, his head hanging down and his body weary and worn out. He approached Hogwarts and then wandered upstairs to the portrait hole. Stepping through it, he entered the common room.
Hermione was still reading her book, curled up by the fire. It was blazing and made her hair shine gold.
She looked up at him. "Yeah, Harry?"
"I'm not ever going to eat another M and M again. They're too hard to find. Does your offer still stand?"
A/N: for those of you wanting to send us hate mail, it will be laughed at, laughed at some more and then deleted… for those of you who actually made it to the end with out running away screaming… my accommodations (Angel: accommodations? Are we staying hotels now? You say it's used right…but…uh…okay, whatever)… the chair gave out on Angel again… now she's going to play with the cat because she doesn't want to sit in the chair any more… now she's trying to get the cat to say "meow"… did you know meow is listed in the dictionary as the sound a cat makes? Angel: oh my God *turns away because she thinks I'm a freak* She's trying to get her cat to say hi to the computer… riiiiiiiiiiiight… so… for all of you who made it to the end and can still form coherent thoughts, please review… that is all… YAY FOR TICTACS!
Angel:She's flipping crazy. Honestly. And, Diva, the Harry Potter fanfictionist…just put on No Goodbyes. What a pleasant surprise :)