Hey y'all. No, I'm not dead. Just lucky enough to have a friend (Zarthor563) who lets me use his comp when my rents embargo'd mine. Anyway, on to Adventure! ...Time.
Adventure Time isn't mine. This silly little nugget is.
Eraser tapped paper in a rhythmic fashion, held deftly by a sickly green hand. This sickly green hand was connected to an arm, and that arm was connected to one Marshall Lee, The Vampire King.
Well, for now.
As of late, Marshall Lee had been going through some tough times. Well, not tough like burnt steak, but tough like...low-fat cheesecake. And the source of troubles was his name.
Now, Marshall Lee thought his name was awesome, just like he was. In fact, he might dare to say that it smacked bottom. But his title, to him, left a lot to be desired. Marceline, his genderbent counterpart, had no such strife, for Marceline, the Vampire Queen just rolled right off the tongue.
Lee sighed and floated up from his chair, doing a flew lazy flips in the air to clear his head. "Lessee..." he muttered to himself. "What rhymes with Lee? Three? Tea? Fee?"
Stoping halfway through a flip, the vampire held out his hand, the sheet of paper zooming into it telekinetically. "I got it! Marshall Lee of the Dead Sea!"
A few seconds of silence and the paper burst into flames as the vamp let out a low hiss. "Good gob, that was stupid..."
Lee's ears pricked up at the sound of a soft, scrawny fist hitting the front door of his home. He knew that sound anywhere. "Enter!" he said dramatically, righting himself in midair.
The door swung open and in stepped Finn the human, a wide, cheeky grin on his silly face. "Heya!" he chirped, bounding into the nonliving room.
Lee smiled at the exuberant human's entrance and conjured up another piece of paper. "Heya, yourself, shortstack." he replied, flipping over so he was upside-down. Lee always enjoyed a visit from the human. While Marceline liked to screw around with his head, Marshall Lee thought Finn was a riot. And a total whizz at balloon music.
Skipping over to the vampire, Finn sat down cross-legged and rested his head in his hands, cocking it lightly. "Watcha doin'?"
Blowing a strand of wayward hair from his face, Lee scribbled onto the paper. "Trying to come up with a better title."
"Better than 'The Vampire King'?" queried the blonde, trying to sneak a peek at the paper.
Lee flicked Finn's forehead, making him yelp. "No peeking. And yeah, I want something that rhymes. Y'know, like Mar-Bear's."
Finn snickered. "You know she'd totally sock your block if she knew you called her that."
"Pft." replied the boy, waving a hand dismissively. "Like Little Miss Punk Rocker could take on Marshall Lee, the Third Degree."
A beat and Finn burst out laughing, clothing his stomach and falling onto his back. Lee righted himself and scowled. "What? That's a kickass title! It rhymes!"
Composing himself with a few breathless wheezes of 'oh my clam', Finn got back into his cross-legged position. "Got anything else?"
Scanning the paper, Lee smiled and posed dramatically, one fist raised high into the air, eyes closed and confident smile in his face. "Marshall Lee," he paused for effect. "Vampire Emcee."
Finn blinked. "But you don't emcee."
"DAMMIT!" screeched Lee, shaking the house just a little bit and nearly giving Finn a heart attack.
Huffing, the vampire crossed his arms, face contorted into a very cute pout. "This sucks. Mar-Bear's got a rhyming title. Why can't I have one?"
There was silence between the two boys, until...
Lee's ears twitched. "Say again?"
Finn hopped to his feet and struck a dramatic pose himself, which was really just a standing version of his patented Finn Bomb. "Marshall Lee, the Vampire Marquis!"
Lee gave Finn a look that was an odd mix of dumbstruck, befuddled, perplexed, and a whole other slew of words Finn didn't know. The youth's words ran through the vampire's head.
In one fluid, lightning quick motion, Lee swooped down, scooped up a surprised Finn and beamed at him. "Finn, you little goofball, you're a crumbing GENIUS! I could kiss you!"
Just as Finn's face turned red at the prospect, Lee dropped him unceremoniously onto the floor and flew up to his room. Seconds later he returned with his amp and electric family halberd, plugging it in and slamming the volume all the way up to 12, his own personal feature, because 11 was for mortals and pop fans.
"Attention, Ooo!" howled the excited vampire as he floated above his amp. "Get ready to have your ears blown apart by Marshal Lee, the Vampire Marquis!"
And Finn, whose reflexes were still slightly dulled from the surprise hug, noticed only too late that Marshall Lee was getting ready to play and that he was a good three feet from the slightly buzzing amp.
"OH, MY GLO-"
Far away in the Candy Kingdom, Princess Bubblegum was hard at work on science-y things when she felt a small popping in her ears and a jerking tremor in her lab. "Huh." she said, looking around in confusion. "Wonder what that was..."
So this happened in my head and now it's here online. Enjoy~