A/N: Yes, more unashamed crackishness. No I don't apologise. Just read and review.

Zero Percent Sense

Mr. Hiraga stared at his son, disbelievingly. "So... you're telling me that you were accidentally summoned to the magical land of Europe, by this girl," he indicated Louise, "then you fought some stereotypical villains, battled a giant dragon, stopped the apocalypse with a jet plane you stole from the Japanese Airforce, destroying said plane in the process, got married to this girl, then used magic to come back here. Do you expect me to believe that?"

Saito realised just how unbelievable the story was, "But it's true."

His father shook his head, "Saito, I could have believed almost anything you said, but there is a zero chance of you marrying such a cute girl! I mean, next you'll be telling me that middle school friend of yours, Aono or whatever his name was went to a monster school and fell in love with a vampire!"

Saito, Louise, and Mrs. Hiraga stared at the man, and Louise coughed, "Um... if you'd like I can show you we're telling the truth about the magic."

When the two adults just stared at her, and Saito gave her a light nod, Louise stood, and took out her wand, pointing to a corner of the room. She began to chant the incantation which Saito was now vaguely familiar with.

Light leaped from her wand, and a hole in space opened, a small one, but enough for you to see through.

She looked at Saito's parents, "Take a look."

Both parents stood, and looked through the hole, gasping as they looked out over a medieval castle, just with dragons flying around, and spells being cast by various mages.

Both parents looked at each other, and Saito's mother spoke, "Dear, I think this must be a dream."

Her husband nodded, "Our son returns, with a lovely wife, who's almost as beautiful as you dear, and she is able to cast magic... there is no other explanation."

"Father! Mother! This is no dream!" Saito said, standing suddenly, and stepping up to both of them, pinching them both.

"Ow! How dare you do that to your father!" Mr. Hiraga suddenly realised what the pain meant. "Wait... this is real... That's impossible."

"It's completely real!" Saito exclaimed, irritated.

"I call bullshit!" Saito's father exclaimed.

Saito sighed, then turned to Louise, "It's useless."

Louise shrugged, "Let's just go sleep together and make a kid, they'll find it rather harder to deny that."

Saito nodded, "Sure, this way to my room."

The young couple ran up to Saito's room, while the older couple stared at each other. "It couldn't possibly..." Mr. Hiraga stared at his wife.

Then a shout from upstairs resounded through the house, "SAITO! What is this disgusting... thing!"

Mrs. Hiraga chuckled, "Oh dear... I did leave his room just the way he did... including the magazines under the bed."

"EXPLOSION!" could be heard, in the midst of a loud 'BOOM.'

"HEADSHOT!" Saito called out as he sailed out the window.

Bis Bald