Welcome to The Seven Names of Envy Angevin – SNEA for short! This is my epic-length High School AU, and also very, very Edvy. So if you don't like Edvy, it's probably a good idea that you don't read it…although it might be interesting if you don't like it. Your call.

Anyway, I'm adding this little thing as part of my edits, about halfway through the story. The rating of this story is M, but on , but that doesn't really tell people much anymore. So I'll tell you.

This story deals with *mature themes*. That means my characters swear like sailors, talk about sex realistically, and sometimes even have it to varying degrees. There are no explicit lemons in this fanfiction – however, there is a little bit of lime (that means that sexy things are happening, but not necessarily to the point of erotica). Mature themes also means that there are going to be subjects like crossdressing, 'traps', abuse, abortion, murder and AIDS covered (and that's hardly a comprehensive list). Finally, there are going to be some very squicky scenes – rape and possibly torture. If you're comfortable with all this…go ahead! If not, I suggest you turn around (as much as I love readers). If you're not sure, proceed with caution.

Part 1: Kochou (Butterfly)

Chapter 1: When Envy Met Edward

My name is Envy Angevin, and today is the day I die.

His one bald statement of confession written down on the otherwise blank piece of paper, the skeletal teenager closed the red notebook with a sigh. He wasn't unusual. In all of his outward aspects, Envy Angevin looked completely normal – save for his piercing, purple eyes.

He looked up at the teacher, trying to feign some interest in what was being taught. His marks were still excellent, but it was automatic. Excellence was expected of him. He didn't expect it of himself.

As always, Envy's mind wandered back to his forty-nine pills.

Seven for the gravestone he still visited.

Seven for the guilt and the shame he carried, a burden that grew heavier every day.

Another seven and seven for the cold hearts and eyes of his mother and father.

Seven for the bruises and his brother's bruises.

Seven for the screams at night.

Seven for the illness devouring his sister's lungs.

It gave him an almost frightful glee, to think of being free of everything. It was so terribly, wonderfully selfish.

Envy's Notebook – Entry #24

What do butterflies dream of?

Do sleeping dragons have a name?

Questions, riddles without answers

Artists playing guessing games.

What do butterflies think about?

What brighter colours do they see?

What memories could they share with us?

How many prisoners could they set free?

"Heeey. Ed." Ling poked his friend in the side. The blond didn't respond. "Edooo…"


"Gaay," he whispered, much to the merriment of the boy behind him.


Ling clutched his chest. "Edo-kun! That's offensive!"

"You're offensive, dumbass. And you're just as bad as he is, Brit!" Ed jabbed an accusatory finger at Russell, who pulled an innocent expression. "Now let me concentrate."

"Yeah, on watching Mustang's arse."

"Shut up, Chinky," hissed Ed.

"I'm Japanese!"

"Okay then, fish-breath."

Russell sniggered, and Ling scowled at him. "You traitor."

Edward, having turned his two annoying friends on each other, settled comfortably back down to listen to Professor Mustang teach – and surreptitiously check him out. It should be illegal for teachers to be so good-looking. It's really not fair.

"Hey, hey, hey, Edo!" Fuck, Ling's back to me.

"Yes, Ling?" he replied exasperatedly, hoping he would get the message.

Ling leaned in super close to Ed. "Butt-sex."

"No, thank you. Now leave me alone." Edward tried unsuccessfully to push Ling away.

"What's the point in having a gay friend if you can't harass them perpetually?"

"What are you talking about?" Ed was completely perplexed. "How am I your gay friend – if you're just as gay as I am?"

"Ssh!" Ling pressed a finger to his lips. "I swing both ways, as you well know, and quiet or the chicks will find out!"

"Crazy bastard…"

"A-hem." Ed looked up – and nearly fell out of his seat in surprise. Ling reacted just about the same way, only Russell remaining relatively calm.


"What, did you forget where you were?" Mustang leant on his metre-stick nonchalantly. "As much as we're all enjoying hearing about your sexualities, we have another type of chemistry to attend to right now. Elric, detention after school."

"What? What about him?" Ed forked a thumb in Ling's direction, who held up his hands in a 'not-me!' sign.

"Young Mr. Yao, at least, has the marks necessary for me to forgive the occasional…outburst." Mustang fixed Ed with his dark gaze. "You, however…"

Ed gulped. "F-fine."

"I'd look into getting some tutoring. And perhaps some platform shoes." With that one last jab, Mustang returned to the front of the class amid tittering from the other students.

Ed clenched his fists. "I-I'm not short! And-and maybe you should get some…some…er…"

Mustang smirked, adjusting the sleeve of his white dress-shirt with a careless demeanour. "If you're quite done attempting to insult me, perhaps you can tell me why aluminium oxide is non-soluble in water. No? Alright then. Russell, give us an answer."

"Bastard," hissed Ed through clenched teeth.

"I'm sorry, what was that, Elric? You want another detention? Fine by me."

One day I'm going to wipe that damn smirk off your face, you stupid sexy asshole.

At the end of class, as most of the students filed out of the classroom, Mustang crouched in front of Envy's desk.


Envy looked up, eyes glinting dully from underneath his hood. "Yes, sir."

"Is something bothering you?"

"No, sir."

"Are you sure? Because if there's something going on, you can always come to me."

"There's nothing, sir." Envy's eyes flickered nervously from Mustang to the door, back and forth. "Can I go now?"

"Of course. Go ahead." Envy needed no further prompting, hurrying out of the room as quickly as possible.

A snigger came from the back of the room. Mustang sighed. "You needn't sound so pleased with yourself."

"Nah, it's just good to see there's someone who hates the sound of your voice as much as I do." Edward put his feet up on the desk and his hands behind his head. "After al, your mouth has much better uses."

The much-laboured-upon professor sighed, seating himself on the desk in front of Ed. "Yours would, too, if you didn't spend so much of your time using it to brag about sexual exploits."

The blond spluttered. "That is not what I – Ling started it – better than using it to kiss ass with the principal!"

It wasn't long before they started using their mouths for something infinitely pleasurable than bickering. Such was the fate of almost every detention with Edward Elric and Roy Mustang.

Envy cursed his bad luck in a mental stream of words that would have made Ed proud. He'd been navigating the halls with his head as per usual, trying to avoid being compacted in the lunchtime rush, when he'd run slap-bang into someone. And that someone happened to be –

"Zolf Kimbley," Envy half-growled, half-murmured.

"Well, hello there. I haven't seen you around in a while. Busy on your knees?"

"Please just leave me alone." Envy tried pushing past the white-suited senior, to no avail.

"What, you don't want to stay with me a while?" Kimbley leered suggestively.

Envy rolled his eyes. He knew what was coming next.

"And you still haven't gotten a haircut! What's next, painting your nails and prancing around like a pony?"

Envy looked balefully up at Kimbley. He was going to get himself in trouble again, he knew, but some things simply could not be left unsaid.

"Your hair is just a long as mine, Kimbley."

Kimbley grabbed Envy's arm and swung him head-first into the lockers. "That's different! I'm not a prissy little fag!"

Envy had no answer, busy trying to clear the lights from his vision.

Kimbley grabbed his collar, pulling him halfway upright "What's the matter? Get up and fight!"

Ed closed the door behind him, adjusting his rumpled clothes. "Well, he proved his point this time…"

Suddenly, he became aware of a commotion in the halls, people collecting around one certain area. "What, a fight already?"

No, this wasn't quite a fight. The atmosphere was wrong. Something was off.

He made his way over as best as he could, but there were too many people clustered around the event. Close by were Ling and Russell, sitting by their lockers and chatting.

"Yo, brats. What's going on?" he asked.

Ling started unwrapping a gargantuan sandwich. "Oh, Kimbley's destroying some kid for looking too gay. That Envy oddball, I think."

"What?" Ed grabbed the collar of Ling's black jacket and hauled him upright. "And you're not doing anything?"

"Nothing to do with us," Ling said around the bite he'd managed to take. "We settled our score with Kimbley long ago."

"Doesn't mean I'm gonna let some other kid take the hit." Ed dropped Ling and started pushing his way through the crowd.

"Shouldn't we try to help him?" asked Russell, but Ling shrugged.

"He's gone into guardian-angel mode. Me, I'm content to eat my sandwich and let him do all the white-knighting. Now sit back and talk British to me."

"Move it, you fuckfaces!" cursed Ed at the crowd. Finally, he made it to the centre.

"Aw shit…" Kimbley had Envy's wrists in a tight grip and was repeatedly punching the smaller boy. Some people were cheering him on, others were silent – but no one was speaking up.

Fucking bystander effect, thought Ed before stepping into the circle.

"Hey! Kimbley!" He pointed to himself, other hand clenched into a fist at his side. "Remember me?"

Kimbley paused, then smirked. "Edward, of course. Still riding your brother?"

No one noticed the pained look on Envy's face.

"Har, har. Very funny. Now step away from him and start actually acting like someone with a brain."

The senior chuckled. "You want to take his place?"

"Not unless I have to. I'd prefer you go jump off of a bridge, actually, but I doubt you're gonna listen to me, so whatever. Drop him."

"Fine, fine, I'll leave your boyfriend alone." Kimbley flung Envy into the crowd, where he was caught by two other boys with predatory looks.

"Jeez, how many times does this kid have to be saved?" moaned Ling as he pushed one of them to the side. Russell dispatched the other, shoving him into a nearby open locker and closing it.

"I'm never gonna forgive Ed for this," complained the Chinese boy. "Come on, this is a stupid place with stupid people."

Envy shook his head. "I want to see."

Ed stood in a ready position, white-gloved hands braced on his knees and gold eyes bright with determination. Kimbley stood opposite, arms folded. Finally, he simply tipped his white fedora at the blond.

"I applaud your resolve. But I have no fight with you, Elric."

"That's garbage! I'll pick a fight with anyone who thinks beating the crap out of anyone is a good idea!"

Kimbley smiled thinly. "Perhaps…but I don't feel like it." He turned and walked away, waving as he left. "Good luck with your Rainbow Alliance."

"H-hey! Don't walk away!" Ed sighed and crossed his arms. "Heh. Idiot." He noticed the crowd still gathered around him. "Ah, get lost, you dimwits! Watching a kid get beat up…you make me sick."

The teenagers began to disperse, and Ed walked over to where Envy was crouched on the ground, flanked by Ling and Russell. "Hey. How ya doing?"

Envy gave him a withering glare.

"Heh. Stupid question?"

"I'm alright." He got slowly to his feet, wincing at his various bruises. "Thank you."

"Eh, no problem, I can't stand him at the best times." Ed held out a hand. "Come on, eat with us."

Envy half-smiled. "Thank you, no. Wouldn't want to ruin your reputation."

All three boys threw back their heads and laughed, much to Envy's confusion.

"Trust me," chuckled Russell, "that won't be a problem."


And so it was that Envy came under the protection of Edward Elric, Russell Tringham and Ling Yao…otherwise known as the Unholy Trio of Central High.