As I lay in bed alone, I sometimes wonder what would've happened if Oz hadn't left.

I was happy with him; I thought we were perfect. I cared more about him than I ever thought I could, and he saw the transition of a shy, nervous girl to a confident woman. Could it have happened so gracefully without him?

And what if we had stayed together? Forever even? Had adorable kids with curly red hair? Would one of them been a wolf and another a witch? Would Oz have lost his mind to Glory? Would I have brought Buffy back from the dead? Would I have fallen into magics so deeply?

Or another thought comes upon me in the darkest part of night. Would Warren have shot Oz? And would I have done the same- nearly end the world- because of his death?

I don't know the answers. I just close my eyes and wonder if Oz ever found his peace, his balance with the wilder side of himself. I hope that he's happy wherever he is. And sometimes, when the darkness in the sky above seems like it'll never fade, I wish that he'd be happy near me again.