A/N: So hello there! Damn. TWENTY FIVE reviews on some crappy little oneshot I wrote in the thousand degree weather while sitting in Charlotte traffic? You guys are truly AMAZING. So I believe that I'd post this idea I've had for so long now. I saw someone try a story like this back when I was involved in another fandom and it was the funniest story I've ever read. So, after a few days of fine tweaking this to the best of my ability, I figured I'd let you guys see this. I'm not serious and I love being stupid, so this is what happened. A few things to cover…I gave all the tributes without last names quite simply. Whoever portrayed them in the movie was the last name I gave them. I'm really really uncreative and plus, this is a crack fic. This may seem weird and awkward but I'm weird and awkward and I don't care if it's not sensible. Pretend they can all blog. Pretend no one is dead. I don't care where you imagine them at. USE A LITTLE IMAGINATION :) Finally, all flames will be used to make red velvet cupcakes. I hope that you guys enjoy!

Peeta Mellark is in a relationship with Katniss Everdeen.

Katniss Everdeen and three other people like this.

Katniss Everdeen: So I guess we're official.

Cato Ludwig: Now maybe he'll stop talking about you in his sleep.

Katniss Everdeen is now friends with Cato Ludwig and three others.

Peeta Mellark: Did I miss something here or what?

Cato Ludwig: Chill out Lover Boy. I'm not here to steal your woman. In fact, I'd rather kill her…but you know. All in good fun.

Katniss Everdeen: It was kind of necessary Peeta. As for Cato…I'm a bit lost for words.

Cato Ludwig: I have that effect on the women.

Clove Fuhrman to Katniss Everdeen: Where's Lover Boy?

Cato Ludwig likes this.

Peeta Mellark: Uh hey. Right here.

Clove Fuhrman: That backfired.

Glimmer Rambin to Cato Ludwig: Thanks for leaving me to being stung to my death by those tracker jackers.

Cato Ludwig: All in a day's work, my darling.

Glimmer Rambin: Ugh!

Clove Fuhrman: Is she being an issue? Because we know I can handle issues.

Cato Ludwig: No Clove, you do not have permission to stab her.

Clove Fuhrman: Damnit.

Peeta Mellark: I loaf Katniss.

Katniss Everdeen and two others like this.

Katniss Everdeen: Really Peeta?

Peeta Mellark: What? It's punny. Get it?

Clove Fuhrman: Excuse me while I throw up a little in my mouth.

Marvel Quaid to Glimmer Rambin: I would have saved you from the tracker jackers…

Glimmer Rambin likes this.

Glimmer Rambin: Thank you Marvel.

Clove Fuhrman: I don't know if I should laugh or stab you, Marvel.

Marvel Quaid: How about neither?

Cato Ludwig: I just don't even know what to think anymore.

Clove Fuhrman: I feel as though today is, "Let's all be Extremely Lovey-Dovey Day." I love myself and my knives. That's it.

Cato Ludwig, Marvel Quaid, and one other likes this.

Cato Ludwig: Do you need someone to love?

Clove Fuhrman: I told you, I have my knives. All is well.

Cato Ludwig: Clove. Blade, Sir Stabs-a-Lot and Marvin do not count.

Clove Fuhrman: Who the hell told you I named my knives?

Cato Ludwig: No one had to tell me. One hears things sometimes.

Peeta Mellark to Katniss Everdeen: When I walk out the shop…

Peeta Mellark likes this.

Katniss Everdeen: Oh my god.

Peeta Mellark: This is what I see!

Katniss Everdeen: Please stop.

Peeta Mellark: Katniss Everdeen is a-lookin' at me!

Katniss Everdeen: You do realize everyone can read this right?


Katniss Everdeen: Oh god no.


Cato Ludwig: It figures you'd like your own status thing Lover Boy.

Marvel Quaid: I just realized something…

Cato Ludwig, Clove Fuhrman, and one other liked this.

Clove Fuhrman: That you're a blundering idiot?

Cato Ludwig: That no one in their right mind would name a destined-to-be-normal child Marvel?

Katniss Everdeen: That I still hate your guts?

Glimmer Rambin: That you wouldn't shut up the night of the tribute parade because the shade of pink our costumes were didn't compliment your skin tone?

Clove Fuhrman: He said that they wouldn't compliment his skin tone?

Cato Ludwig: Some man you are Marvel.

Katniss Everdeen: Only reason I liked the status was because the light bulb had finally been turned on in his head.

Marvel Quaid: You people are hateful human beings.

Rue Stenberg is now friends with Thresh Okeniyi and three others.

Katniss Everdeen, Peeta Mellark, and two others like this.

Katniss Everdeen: Rue! You're on here now!

Rue Stenberg: Katniss! Thank goodness it's not just the Careers on here.

Marvel Quaid: What's that supposed to mean?

Katniss Everdeen: Don't talk to her or I'll be more than happy to shoot you again.

Peeta Mellark:…she told you.

Cato Ludwig to Thresh Okeniyi: Don't lay another finger on my woman ever again.

Clove Fuhrman likes this.


Cato Ludwig: Then why'd you like this?


Cato Ludwig: Who you gonna use? Blade, Sir Stabs-a-Lot, or Marvin?

Clove Fuhrman: This conversation is over.

Thresh Okeniyi: And yet it somehow ends up on my wall.

Marvel Quaid to Rue Stenberg: Even though I'm a Career…I'm sorry for killing you.

Rue Stenberg, Katniss Everdeen, and two others like this.

Cato Ludwig: Marvel, are you sure you weren't the female tribute from District One?

Clove Fuhrman: Agreed.

Marvel Quaid: As stated earlier, HATEFUL!

Marvel Quaid: Like for what I think about you!

Cato Ludwig, Glimmer Rambin, and three others liked this.

Cato Ludwig: Of course you'd do one of these.

Marvel Quaid: LEAVE ME ALONE.

Marvel Quaid to Glimmer Rambin: I think that you were a great district partner and that you're um…well yeah. Great district partner.

Glimmer Rambin likes this.

Clove Fuhrman: What were you gonna say?

Cato Ludwig: Yes Sparkles, enlighten us.

Marvel Quaid: Get off my page you two.

Cato Ludwig: Yes ma'am.

Marvel Quaid to Cato Ludwig: I think that it was nice to be in the Career alliance with you and that you and your little lover woman Clove need to get off my page and stop making fun of me!

Cato Ludwig likes this.


Cato Ludwig: Marvel shut up.

Marvel Quaid to Clove Furhman: I think that you're tiny, you're lethal, you're dangerous, and you're Cato's lover woman.

Cato Ludwig and Clove Fuhrman like this.

Clove Fuhrman: You should have remembered those other three before you posted the fourth.

Marvel Quaid: Good point…

Clove Fuhrman: Cato, I know you liked this you pig. Go fuck a duck.

Marvel Quaid to Katniss Everdeen: I think that even though we were out for you since the beginning, you deserved it. I guess. I'm still a Career, doesn't mean I have to be nice.

Katniss Everdeen likes this.

Clove Fuhrman: Quit acting tough Marvel.

Marvel Quaid: You people are the reason I hate almost all of society.

Marvel Quaid to Peeta Mellark: I think that no matter what the Capitol calls you and your little girlfriend, you'll always be "Lover Boy" to me.

Peeta Mellark, Katniss Everdeen, and two others like this.

Peeta Mellark: And that's not awkward.

Cato Ludwig: This was the funniest thing I've read all day.

Glimmer Rambin: Is there something you didn't tell us, Marvel?

Clove Fuhrman: I'm on the ground laughing at the moment.

Marvel Quaid: I can't do anything right with all of you judgmental people around.

Peeta Mellark to Katniss Everdeen: Up for a little late night roof top "meeting"?

Katniss Everdeen likes this.

Katniss Everdeen: As long as you don't try to sing to me again.

Peeta Mellark: I can't make any promises.

Peeta Mellark checked into "The Rooftop" with Katniss Everdeen.

Katniss Everdeen likes this.

Cato Ludwig: Would you two like a little visitation from your Career friends?

Katniss Everdeen: You do and I'll gladly shoot you again.

Clove Fuhrman: For once, I want Fire Girl to shoot you Cato.

Cato Ludwig: You know you love me.

Clove Fuhrman: And you know I love throwing knives and I'm always in need of a new target.

Cato Ludwig: I'll shut up now.

Katniss Everdeen to Peeta Mellark: I had a good night with you tonight, despite your constant singing and bread puns.

Peeta Mellark likes this.

Peeta Mellark: No knead to hate on the puns.

Katniss Everdeen: Shut up.

Well that's chapter one! I hope you enjoyed this horribly cracky fic. But I'm a really awkward person and this story is just so me. I am a woman of the people, so if there's something you want to see, let me know! Any characters, any "plot ideas", anything you want to see, just leave it in that beautiful review you leave. Don't worry your little pretty little minds, I'll be writing an actual story coming soon. This is just for your pure entertainment. And maybe a good laugh or two. Reminding you again, any flames will be happily used to help make red velvet cupcakes. And with that, me, Isabelle, Clove, Blade, Sir Stabs-a-lot, and Marvin all say-UNTIL NEXT TIME. I loaf you.