"In order to perform Transfiguration on animals, you must concentrate completely," Professor McGonagall said to the class. "So I want everyone to watch me closely while I do this. Ready?"
As McGonagall poised her wand above the small rat on her desk, and Santana leaned low in her chair in the back of the room. She pulled out her want and whispered something. The rat on her own desk began to levitate slowly. From the desk beside her, Quinn looked over in awe.
"Don't hurt it!" she hissed.
"I'm not," Santana whispered back. "...unless whatever shampoo Rachel Berry has in her hair has toxic fumes."
Quinn's mouth dropped open. "You're going to put it in Rachel's hair?"
Santana didn't respond. She moved the rat slowly through the air as McGonagall turned her own specimen into a tea cozy and back. Nobody except Quinn watched as the terrified rat kicked his legs helplessly, moving closer and closer to the top of Rachel's head. His claws began to snag on the brunette strands and Rachel began to reach up, clearly thinking she was being annoyed by a fly of some type. Santana smirked and started to pull the rat back towards her.
"Santana!" McGonagall shouted suddenly. Santana's head snapped up and she lost concentration with her rat, who fell limply onto Rachel's hair and began clinging to it for dear life. Rachel's hands shot up and she felt the coarse black fur and screamed.
"Oh my God get it off get it off!" she shrieked. McGonagall waved her wand silently and the rat flew from Rachel's hair, taking several strands with it in its claws. It landed swiftly on McGonagall's desk and cowered next to the other rat, trembling visibly and hiding its face between its paws. McGonagall pocketed her wand and looked at Santana, who composed an apologetic face and tried her hardest not to laugh.
"Miss Lopez, what on earth were you doing?" McGonagall scolded.
"I was testing out the new Charm we learned today," Santana replied with a shrug. "And I guess I messed up a little bit." Next to her, Quinn snorted into her hands, and Santana bit her lip to keep from smiling.
"Santana, we did not learn animal levitation charms today, we're not learning that until next month!" Rachel said, turning to face Santana. Her ponytail was falling out and her face was bright red, and Santana couldn't hold it in anymore. She burst out laughing.
"I—I'm sorry, Berry," she choked. "My rat was hungry and I thought I spotted some food on your head, so..." It wasn't long before the rest of the class was laughing along with her. Rachel turned to face the front of the room and crossed her arms angrily over her chest. Santana looked up and saw that McGonagall looked completely unamused.
"Twenty points from Slytherin for this disruption!" she said, causing everyone to shut up immediately. "And Miss Lopez, you will serve detention for me tonight at eight o' clock. Now, if we could please get back to the lesson."
"Wait, hold up," Santana said, catching her breath as she finally stopped laughing. "Did you say detention tonight?"
McGonagall looked annoyed at the further interruption. "Yes, tonight," she said. "Wands out, please, everybody, and I hope you were all paying attention to the demonstration because I'm not-"
"But Professor," Santana protested. "Tonight is...Valentine's Day." A few people in the classroom snickered and she blushed.
"I don't care what day it is," she snapped. "And I will not tolerate further interruption for you. So unless you'd like to have detention tomorrow, too, I suggest you remain quiet."
Santana sank down in her seat, fuming. Next to her, Quinn gave her a sympathetic look. McGonagall returned Santana's rat, and once the room began to fill with the sounds of shouted incantations, they could talk once more. "I don't know what you thought was going to happen," Quinn said.
"Shut up," Santana replied. "You supported me at first."
"I didn't," Quinn responded, and Santana rolled her eyes. Quinn could be such a goody-goody when she wanted to be. Santana watched as Quinn pulled out her wand and pointed it at her rat. It rose a few inches off the desk and fell back down. "How did you even do that levitation charm? That was pretty cool."
"It was easy," Santana said, shrugging it off. "Detention tonight, on the other hand, won't be." She sighed. "Brittany's going to be so mad..."
"She won't be mad," Quinn said. "She never gets mad."
"That's what you think," Santana replied. "She doesn't yell but I can always tell when she's mad. This night was supposed to be perfect!" She stabbed her wand at the rat in frustration and sparks flew out the end of it, causing the rat to jump off her desk. Santana groaned and got down on her knees to chase it around the room.
At two minutes to eight, Santana knocked on Professor McGonagall's door. "Come in," McGonagall said. Santana opened the door and sat down opposite McGonagall with a scowl on her face. "You're going to be doing some lines today," she said.
Santana felt slightly relieved. As far as detentions went, she could have been assigned to much worse. "How many?" she asked.
"A lot," McGonagall said. When Santana continued to look at her expectantly, she added, "Don't get any ideas. I'm not letting you out before the hour, so don't think you can just rush through and be done with it."
Santana groaned. She wanted to make some kind of plea, maybe remind McGonagall again that it was a special day, but she didn't want to sound like some kind of romantic. Teachers saw her as tough and aloof and she wanted it to stay that way—even if Brittany had given her the world's saddest pout when Santana had told her that she'd be late for their special Valentine's Day dinner. It was their first Valentine's day together, and Santana felt horrible that she'd already ruined it. But she refused to give McGonagall the satisfaction of knowing just how much trouble this detention was causing, so she pulled a quill and a piece of parchment from her bag and looked at the words McGonagall had written on the board behind her.
I must only use my magical knowledge for good.
Well, Santana thought, one could argue that putting a rat in Rachel's hair was doing a favor to everyone, but she wasn't about to say that now. She started to write as McGonagall sat across from her, grading essays. Occasionally, the professor would make a mark on the page, but for the most part, she was still as a statue. Santana, on the other hand, could not stop fidgeting. Her hand was aching and she was dying to see Brittany. Every time she looked at her watch, it seemed that only a minute had gone by. I must only use my magical knowledge for good, she wrote again and again.
Suddenly, the door opened, and Santana's head jerked up. "Uh, Professor?" Dave Karofsky stepped into the room, looking nervously at Santana before turning to McGonagall. "Um, I have a quick question on the homework."
"What is it, Karofsky?" McGonagall said, beckoning him over to his desk. Santana looked back at her paper and continued to write. Karofsky set his Transfiguration book down on the table and began to quietly ask a question. As McGonagall started to answer, a small piece of paper suddenly dropped right next to Santana's quill. She looked up. Karofsky was looking back at her meaningfully.
"For questions one through ten, you should refer to this chapter," McGonagall said, and Karofsky quickly looked back down at his book. Santana reached for the paper and opened it in her lap, keeping her eyes fixed on her parchment so that McGonagall wouldn't get suspicious. As Karofsky leaned over his book, Santana chanced a glance at the note he had brought her.
Meet me by the one-eyed witch. Love, B
Santana crumpled the note and stuffed it into her pocket just as Karofksy wrapped up his conversation with McGonagall. He walked out and McGonagall turned back to her essays. Santana looked around anxiously, trying to find some way to sneak out. How was Brittany expecting her to get out of detention? Maybe if Flitwick or Trelawny were here, she could get away with it, but McGonagall was clever. Santana cleared her throat.
"Professor?" she asked. "Uh, can I go to the bathroom?"
McGonagall looked at Santana and then at her watch. "You've only been here for twenty minutes," she said.
"I have to go really bad," Santana said, bouncing in her seat for effect. McGonagall sighed.
"Fine, but I'm stopping your time now and restarting it when you get back, so don't even think about stalling." Santana jumped up from her seat and hurried out of the office, closing the door behind her. She ran as fast as she could down the hallway and took the stairs three at a time. Finally, she got up to the third floor and ran to the secret passageway by the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Brittany was there, leaning against the one eyed witch. She grinned when she saw Santana approaching.
"Hey," she said.
"Hi," Santana replied breathlessly. "Look, I didn't get away, she only thinks I went to the bathroom."
"Oh." Brittany frowned. "Rats, I was hoping Karofsky would be there for so long that she would forget about you."
"Well, he didn't do his job. I only have, like, a minute." Santana stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Brittany's neck, touching their foreheads together. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I'll be done in, like, forty more minutes, and then I'll make it up to you."
"I want you out now, though," Brittany whined. "I know we can think of a way."
Santana thought for a moment. Then she pulled away suddenly. "Puck," she said.
Santana lowered her voice and spoke quickly. "Go to the Slytherin common room. The password is wizard cracker. Tell Puck that I'm in detention and that I need his help, he'll know what to do. He owes me one." Santana smiled. She didn't know why she hadn't thought of it before.
"Alright," Brittany said with a nod. "I'll find Puck."
"Good," Santana said. "I should go. I don't want McGonagall to get suspicious." She leaned forward and pecked Brittany's lips. "See you soon babe."
"Bye Sannie," Brittany replied. Santana turned and hurried away, going back to the office just as quickly as before but with a spring in her step. Brittany was going to get her out of detention early, and not only did that mean she could finally stop writing lines, but it was also very romantic.
After several long minutes, however, Santana began to get impatient again. What was taking Brittany and Puck so long? Santana knew that Puck had tons of merchandise from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes stashed away under his bed. She was hoping that he would find a way to slip her one of his Skiving Snackboxes. The Puking Pastilles would probably be the most effective. A few chunks of vomit on her desk and McGonagall would gladly let Santana out for the rest of the night.
As she contemplated making herself sick without Puck's help, the door suddenly burst open for a second time that night. Blaine Anderson, a Gryffindor prefect in Santana's year, hurried into the room. "Professor," he said breathlessly, "someone has released a Bludger in the Great Hall!"
"What?" McGonagall's eyes widened. "A Bludger?"
"Yes!" Blaine said. "Yes, and it's where we were having our Glee Club meeting. I tried to cast some spells on it, but I think that only made it worse...Rachel Berry got hit in the arm already."
"Anderson, you should have come to me immediately!" McGonagall cried. She got up from her desk and hurried towards the door, her wand outstretched. "I'll be back," she said to Santana as she flew out of the room with Blaine in tow. Santana watched them leave in shock. For several moments, she remained frozen, her quill poised above her page. Then she started to laugh, thinking about Rachel Berry and the Glee Club losers running around the Great Hall while being chased by a rogue Bludger. Puck had really outdone himself this time.
Over her own laughter, she almost didn't her the sound of rapping against McGonagall's window. Santana squinted towards the blackness, but it was too dark to see anything. So she got up and walked over to the window, and pulled it open. A blast of cold air hit her and she gasped. Hovering outside the window, bobbing up and down unnaturally, was Santana's girlfriend. Her blond hair was blowing around her pink cheeks and she was looking at Santana with a mischievous glint in her eyes.
"Brittany?" Santana asked in shock.
"I've come to rescue you," Brittany said happily. Santana leaned out and saw that Brittany was not, in fact, floating—she was holding tightly to the handle of her Firebolt.
"Britt, I don't know how long McGonagall left for. I can't just leave."
"I'm pretty sure that Bludger is going to occupy her for a long time, like until your detention is over," Brittany said. "Puck promised. So you might as well come with me now."
Santana couldn't help but smile. "Alright," she said. "Move close." Brittany turned so the tail was facing the window, and backed up as much as she could. Santana placed her arms on the window sill to hoist herself up. "Ugh, this is hard," she said. "Lemme grab that chair."
"No!" Brittany said quickly. "If she comes in and sees the chair against the window, she'll know you got away."
"Oh. Right. Smart thinking, Britt."
"I thought of everything," Brittany said proudly. "Come on, you can do it. Be strong." Santana tried again with the window sill, using every ounce of strength she had. Slowly, she was able to lift herself high enough to swing one of her legs over the edge. After that, it was easy. She climbed onto the window and then slid forward onto Brittany's broom. For one frightening second, the broom sank sharply, but Brittany expertly steered it upward as Santana grabbed her girlfriend's waist for dear life. "One more thing," Brittany said, letting go of the broom as she pulled her wand and a piece of paper out of her pocket.
"What are you doing?" Santana asked as Brittany whispered a spell and sent the paper flying in through the still open window. The paper landed neatly on McGonagall's desk, and then Brittany cast another spell that made the window fly shut.
"Thinking of everything," Brittany replied. She took hold of her broom again. "Come on, let's go!" Before Santana could even take a breath, they were shooting into the sky, moving at almost a ninety degree angle.
"Jesus, Britt!" Santana yelled over the rushing wind. "Be careful!" She knew her warning was meaningless, though. Brittany loved doing tricks in the air, but Santana wasn't too worried. She knew Brittany was an excellent flier. They did swoops and flips and a terrifying nose dive before Brittany brought her gently back up to the height of the highest tower.
"Alright," she said. "Let me take you to your romantic dinner. I've got it all set up."
Santana nuzzled her face into Brittany's neck. "You know, you could have just come and got me," she said. "From McGonagall's office. Using, you know, the door."
"I thought about it," Brittany said. "But I decided this was much more romantic." They soared over the castle and landed neatly on top of the Astronomy Tower. Santana dismounted shakily and looked around. There was a picnic blanket set up and a large bag next to it. "I have breadsticks and pizza and hot chocolate," Brittany said. "Your favorites."
"Oh my God," Santana said, walking over to the blanket and sitting down. "Brittany, you're amazing."
"I know." Brittany came and sat next to her. She reached into the bag and pulled out a large cloak, which she then wrapped around the two of them. Santana cuddled into her side and looked up at the stars.
"This is perfect," she said.
"Not as perfect as you," Brittany replied.
Santana turned so that their noses brushed against each other. "I love you," she whispered. Then she began to kiss Brittany slowly. The arm that was around Santana's neck tightened and pulled her closer, and Santana began to gently push Brittany backwards until they were lying down on the blanket. The cloak slid off of their bodies as Santana gently urged Brittany's mouth open with her tongue.
"Don't forget," Brittany said between kisses, "about dinner."
"Dinner can wait," Santana replied.
The Bludger had taken almost thirty minutes to restrain. McGonagall had been forced to call someone to help, and the closest person she could find was Professor Schuester, who had turned out to be no help at all. Thankfully, Snape had showed up at the end and together they had all been able to force it into a corner, but not before a large group of students had gathered to watch the incident and laugh. McGonagall was so flustered by the end of it that she had almost forgotten that she was supposed to be supervising a detention, and she hurried back to her office to make sure that Santana knew her time was up. Not that she was too worried about Santana working overtime. That girl would have probably been out of there the moment the clock struck nine, regardless of whether the teacher was there to dismiss her or not. But there was still a chance.
McGonagall pushed open the door to her office, and was not surprised to see the chair empty. She looked down at the paper that Santana had been writing on. Twenty lines...that looked like it had been about ten minutes of work. It was certainly far less than she had expected. McGonagall narrowed her eyes. She was going to have to speak to Santana tomorrow, and if she ever found out who had set that Bludger loose, they would be joining her in another detention...no, scratch that, they would be getting a week's worth of detention and a hundred points for that insane display. Never, in all her years, had a student thought to set a Bludger loose inside the castle. She snorted with laughter. It was kind of smart, really...
McGonagall suddenly noticed a folded scrap of paper that hadn't been on her desk before. She walked over to it and pulled it open to find a few lines of girly writing inside of it. Professor McGonagall, it read. Please excuse Santana from the rest of detention. There is a big problem in the Slytherin common room, and she is the only one who can fix it. I can't give any more detail here because it's super private. Just trust me. Thanks. Professor Snape
McGonagall shook her head, the hint of a smile playing about her lips. Even if she believed for a second that Snape had actually written this note, she had just seen him helping her with the Bludger fiasco. McGonagall thought about Santana's hesitancy to have a detention that night, and remembered how she had seen Santana countless times walking arm in arm with that cute but somewhat dim Hufflepuff. This was undoubtedly Brittany Pierce's doing, and perhaps the Bludger was indirectly part of her plan as well. "I can't believe it," she said aloud. "They orchestrated an escape."
The portrait of Boris the Boring that hung behind her desk gave an exaggerated yawn. "So what, Professor? It is Valentine's Day after all."
"True," McGonagall said. "I suppose I should let it slide. Just this once."