Disclaimer: This does, indeed, have a happy ending... :D Enjoy!
"Look at this!" Phineas said as he approached a white post in the high school hallway. The other four teenagers gathered around to look at the poster that Phineas had referenced.
Friday afternoon had left the group fatigued, and after the last class of the day the five of them had eagerly rushed to their lockers. Now Phineas had pulled them off to the side and was pointing at the printed advertisement.
Its gold lettering was placed wispily at the top; its background was a picture of a dark night, with a rickety old building in the center. At the bottom was a chunk of text, in the same font as the title above. Beneath that was the date: "Sunday Night at 8pm."
Buford groaned. "A ghost hunt? Really?"
"It's not a ghost hunt," Phineas said as he read the text. "It's a haunted house sleep-in."
"Whatever," Buford replied.
"You guys don't want to go?" Phineas asked as he looked up at the group.
Ferb leaned over to take Phineas' spot in front of the poster. "I'd go," he said, standing up after a few seconds of reading.
"I'll come, too," Isabella said while Baljeet nodded beside her.
"Oh, come on," Buford argued. "You guys don't honestly think you'd see a ghost, do you?"
"Hmm... nope, I don't think we would," Ferb replied. "But it'll be fun."
"Yeah, Buford, it's just for fun. Look, twenty people have signed up already," Phineas pestered as Buford rolled his eyes at him.
"Fine, but I BET you we don't see anything."
The end of the weekend approached faster than anticipated, and even the bulk of Sunday passed quickly. Phineas could not stop talking about the coming event, and Ferb just nodded and let Phineas continue in his growing anticipation.
By the time 7:30 rolled around, Phineas and Ferb both picked up Isabella from across the street and made their way over to the school where they would meet Baljeet and Buford. There the rented bus would transport all students who were registered for the sleep-in to the location.
"Hey, guys!" Baljeet called out when he saw Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella walking up from the parking lot. They joined the other twenty-some teenagers waiting on the curb.
"Anyone else excited?" Phineas asked cheerfully.
The three others nodded. "This is gonna be cool!"
A bus slowly pulled up until its wheels were two inches from the sidewalk. When it finally placed its brake, it let out a loud puff of air as it settled on the wheels' shocks.
A loud whistle screeched over the night air. Low murmurs of the crowd died down as everyone looked around paid attention to the source of the call.
"All right, all!" a female adult hollered out. "Are you prepared for a night of shrieks and scares, darkness and whispers, monsters and things that go bump-in-the-night?"
Everyone raised their hands in the air and cheered.
"Okay, hop on!" the leader instructed, and led the way onto the metal steps of the bus. All the students filed evenly after her, until the bus was filled with chatting, energetic teenagers.
The leader stood next to the driver and turned around to count heads. She held up her wooden clipboard before her.
"...Aaand twenty-seven," she read aloud. She then turned to the driver. "We're all here, so let's get going!"
The driver released the parking brake and the large boxy vehicle rolled its way off of the school grounds and onto the road.
The trip to the outskirts of Danville took perhaps forty minutes. The entire time the five teenagers, along with every other person around them, babbled endlessly about their upcoming experience. When the bus pulled up to a dusty industrial building on the corner of a farmland, all students were thoroughly anxious.
After the bus stopped completely, the group gathered outside in the grass to await further direction.
"We have plenty of flashlights here, but some of you may have to share," the leader called out as she pointed at a cardboard box that the driver had pulled out of the bus's storage compartment.
"Come grab one and make your way inside. There's plenty of ground to cover, so no one should get in each other's way. But stay in groups, please!"
Phineas was one of the first to run up to the box of flashlights. He secured two in his hands before running back to his friends. He held up the black metal handle of one of the flashlights to Buford.
"I'll take one, and Buford, you can have the other," Phineas offered. Buford just scowled at him.
"Yeah, you can shine it in a ghost's face when we see one," Ferb jokingly teased.
Buford crossed his arms. "I thought YOU said we weren't gonna see a ghost, Smart Stuff."
"True. But I also said we would have fun."
Buford snatched the flashlight out of Phineas' hand. "Meh, let's head inside before that group leader takes out a megaphone."
He then pushed past the congregation surrounding the flashlight box as they fought over the last ones. Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and Baljeet followed him into the darkened doorway of the creaky old building.
The lack of lighting made the scene all the more eerie, and the teenagers were glad to have had the flashlights on them. Floorboards creaked around them and the wind howled through the open walls.
The leader was right in saying that the building was large enough for all of them; after they had entered they did not see any sign of the other groups. All five of them stuck close together as they made their way through the musty hallways.
An hour into the sleep-in, after meandering up to the second floor, Baljeet had insisted they sit down for a rest.
"A ghost will not come after us if we sit down for two minutes," he had insisted. Now they were sitting on a wooden plank bench near the drafty window, with their flashlights pointing out in front of them.
There was a shuffling sound of feet coming from a far corner. Isabella jumped and squeaked a little, leaning closer to Phineas.
"What was that?" Buford said as he shone his light into the shadowed spot where the shuffle had come.
Phineas pointed his flashlight in the direction as well. "I dunno. Hello?" he called out into the thick darkness. "Is someone there?"
The sound of things being knocked over clanged to their ears. The darkness was broken when a figure staggered out of the corner as he tripped over his shoelaces.
"Phineas and Ferb!" he exclaimed as he attempted-and failed-to right himself.
"Irving? What are you doing here?" Phineas asked with his flashlight still shining on him.
"I brought along my camera!" He held up the device around his neck. "We can catch real live ghosts together!"
"I doubt you will capture LIVE ghosts on that, Irving," Baljeet pointed out.
Phineas did not notice Baljeet's comment. He addressed Irving. "Didn't you take the bus? We didn't see you."
"I didn't even KNOW about this thing 'till I saw you guys leaving the house. Albert drove me here!"
Buford nudged Baljeet with force. "Who invited the fanboy..."
Phineas shot Buford an annoyed look. He smiled at Irving and replied, "Well the leader said to stay in groups, so you can hang out with us if you want."
"Really? Hang out with you guys?"
"Sure." But then Phineas began to look left and right, before gazing out the window towards the Danville skyline.
"Hey..." he said. Phineas then pulled his lit flashlight underneath his chin, casting dark shadows over his nose and eyes. Raising his other hand, he wiggled his fingers and spoke in a spooky tone. "Whereeesss Peerrrryyyy?"
"Sorry for calling you at such a late hour, Agent P, but Doofenshmirtz is up to his schemes again," the image of Major Monogram played on the large screen before the agent.
Perry had taken out his little green notebook and attentively watched as his superior gave him the orders.
"Our tracks indicate that Doofenshmirtz has been spending an abnormal amount of time on the Swedish website: OndskaRUs. We are sure that he is browsing purchases much more sinister than lederhosen..." Monogram stared ominously off into the distance. Turning back to the agent, he continued. "But if it is just lederhosen... well, still go over and stop him."
He saluted and Perry returned the gesture. "Dismissed!"
Perry flew his hang glider into the unlocked glass door of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated's roof. He released the bar of his glider at the last minute and broke his fall by rolling over the floor, landing in a fighting ready stance.
"Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz said, and not even a second later Perry found himself entrapped in a sticky cuff around his waist.
"I put GUM on it this time. Good idea, eh?" Doofenshmirtz walked slowly around the immobile Perry. "You see, just last night I was waiting for the 11:04pm bus across town. I left my watch at home and wanted to know what time it was. But JUST as I was about to check, I get interrupted by a commercial! A commercial, Perry the Platypus! They had put television sets inside the bus stop, who does that?"
Perry scowled at him from within his prison, and pointed with his eyes at a large brown blanket that was covering an object.
"Oh, that? Yes," Doofenshmirtz said with exaggerated anticipation. He ripped the tarp off of the machine. "May I present: The Inviso-Nega-Sound-Inator!"
Perry just rolled his eyes, but Doofenshmirtz paid no attention.
"I know what you're thinking. Doof: 'why don't you call it an inviso-quiet-inator or inviso-TVmuting-inator?' Well, Perry the Platypus, that is just what you were expecting. That's how to stay ahead. Do the un-expected."
Doofenshmirtz walked around the Inator and put his hand on it in triumph.
"Those TVs, with their obnoxious colors and flashing lights, have no purpose in a place like a bus stop. So I'm gonna turn them invisible! But then you can still hear those catchy tunes that can't leave your head, and those are as bad as a radio advertisement. That's where my nega-sound comes in. Universal mute button!"
Growling, Perry struggled in the clamp as it tugged on his fur. He angrily looked up.
"I know, you may THINK it's easier just to destroy them, but I've looked into it. You blew up my Begone-Inator last month, and to fix it I'd have to go online and order parts, wait for that spinny hourglass to go away... Not to MENTION having to sign for them when they get here..."
Letting out a huff and a chatter, it was almost as if Perry said 'Get on with the rant.'
"Bah, it's just easier with a new Inator." Doofenshmirtz grabbed the handles near the machines targeting screen and pointed it out the window. The screen flashed up the time.
"Aha! It's 11pm, and at exactly 11:04, I will Inviso-nega-sound-ify EVERY BUS STOP ADVERTISEMENT IN THE TRI-STATE AREA!"
Perry squirmed while grunting, before spitting some saliva into the gummy space between himself and the braces. Losing its stickiness, the goop allowed Perry to free himself easily.
In one motion Perry had zipped through the air and slammed his webbed foot into Doofenshmirtz's jaw. He slapped the handles of the device and disrupted its targeting.
"What are you doing, Perry the Platypus. Now it's pointing at the sky, that's not evil," Doofenshmirtz said from his spot lying on the floor. But he took his hand and grabbed his chin in thought. "Well, I suppose invisible rain clouds might be something... but that's for another day!"
Doofenshmirtz pushed Perry out of the way and redirected the laser. "Say goodbye, public media!"
But Perry was quick. He leapt up from between Doofenshmirtz's outstretched arms and punched him clean in the face. As he fell back, the Inator's nozzle swung away and just as it hit 11:04, fired its beam across the Danville countryside.
Sparks emanated from the machine's barrel; it was clear that the shot had overloaded the device's capacity. It shook violently before dislocating its bolts and tumbling on top of Perry in a million pieces. Perry emerged from the pile as he waved his hands to get the shards of metal off.
Oh great, he thought to himself. Now I'll have to spend the rest of the night getting this stuff out of my fur.
As Perry exited through the front door, he could hear Doofenshmirtz still yelling, "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!"