Disclaimer: All FF material is © of Squaresoft.

Why Me?

By: ZellyBaby

…Why me?  Why is it I who never am loved by no one. I will never find love.  Sure I could love Selphie, sweet, sweet Selphie, but even she is out of my reach. Or maybe Rinoa but she is and always will be out of my reach.  Then there is Quistis, but all Quistis and every other female on this retched planet see is an immature, martial artist, who gorges him self on hotdogs day and night.  But there is more to me than that.  No one will ever see that side of me, nobody has ever tried…the library girl, whose name I don't even know, just says she likes me because she feels sorry for me.  I never did like her anyway…but why me?  I'm beginning to feel the shadow's depth surrounding me.  The overdose of prescription pills are beginning to take their toll on my physical capabilities, I can't even stand up.  I've slit my wrist but who cares if I die, what does it matter if I'm here, or anywhere, nobody cares.  Everyone may not realize it but they never have cared, even when we were little growing up in the orphanage all they did was make fun of me.  I longed to be loved and accepted, but I never was.  I've been slipping in and out of consciousness for the past five minutes; it feels as if it was five years.  It's getting dimmer now.  I'm weak from the loss of blood and sedated from the pills, but even these effects cant compare to what I feel in my heart.  Loneliness is what I feel, but what does it really mean?  Is loneliness something of the mind or of the heart; is it what a person feels when they're away from a loved one? No it's what is felt when you aren't loved.  I'm nearing death now.  I've just realized that I was a fool for believing that I'm not loved, but it is too late, I'm too weak to do anything about it now.  No one is near they're all gone.  There is no chance for me.  Squall, Rinoa, Selphie, Irvine, Quistis, even you and your posse Seifer, I'm sorry, please forgive me.  I was fool to believe that I was unloved by my friends.  I'm fading now, goodbye, I will love you forever…