A/N Quick fluff piece I wrote to cheer myself up. Just FYI, I don't know what the town is called where The Inbetweeners live but the school is called Rudge Park so I've just called the town "Rudge" - see what I did there?
Enter standard disclaimer here.
It wasn't unusual for Jay to watch a barrage of porn. It didn't matter to him whether he'd got a fucking amazing relationship with his boyfriend Simon Cooper, there was no way he would stop watching porn. It was too good. Maybe he was a bit of an addict. Forget that, he was definitely an addict. However, that was not stopping him from currently masturbating whilst watching three guys get it on. It didn't have to be guys, he'd watch any kind of porn really. Whatever he found first. That did come with some hindrances, particularly since his mum constantly walked in on him watching stuff. She'd done it so many times it was questionable as to whether it was still an accident. This time was no exception by the sound of things. Someone was walking up the stairs anyway. And successively opened Jay's bedroom door. Though, much to his relief, he was greeted with the smiling face of his boyfriend, who, evidently, was not fazed by the scene in front of him; this wasn't the first time he'd witnessed this,
"You know, I could've done that for you." He remarked gesturing to Jay wanking. Although, he quickly stopped meaning Simon had time to glance at the scene on his laptop. A male threesome, that wasn't really something Simon could do for him; the gay guys around their town were few and far between. Simon sat on the bed, just assuming he was invited whilst Jay quickly put on some pants and moved his laptop then, quite happily sat on the bed next to his boyfriend. A quick kiss on the cheek was Jay's way of finally greeting Simon since he hadn't had chance before. However, he noticed that his boyfriend was suddenly quite distant and in thought,
"Simon." Jay stated and clicked in front of his face as some way of physically snapping Simon out of his thoughts. Whatever he'd been contemplated had obviously had him deeply lost in thought; Jay couldn't help but wonder what exactly was going through his mind, "Somethin' up?" He questioned and reached for Simon's hand trying to show some act of compassion for his boyfriend. Although, sympathy, compassion, care, anything of that sort wasn't really Jay's area. When it called for it, it came naturally but if he couldn't summon sympathy when it might not be necessary,
"What?" Simon questioned, not realising that he was that deeply in thought about the subject of other gay guys in town. But didn't they say 1 in 3 people were gay? That did include lesbians though. Then again, he didn't know any lesbians either. He'd imagine Jay would be one of the first to know about any lesbians in town. This was weird; it was probably the first time a porn film had ever instilled any remotely intelligent thought. And he realised that rather answer Jay's enquiry, he'd gone into further thought, "Oh, sorry, just thinking about that film." Simon explained and motioned towards the closed laptop. A smile crept onto Jay's face, possibly because Simon had never expressed an interest in gay porn to Jay before. Actually, he felt weirdly turned on by the sudden thought of watching porn together, "Besides me and you, are there any other gay guys in Rudge?" Well, that dismissed Jay's thoughts of watching porn together successfully, but it did give him greater ideas, regarding threesomes,
"Why what're you thinkin' about?"
"Other gays in town, can't think of any." The cheeky grin returned to Jay's face, still convinced that Simon was creating some fictional albeit plausible scenarios,
"Donovan." Jay remarked, pointedly and then realised even if Simon was imagining some sordid activities, Donovan really shouldn't be the third party, not only would they never convince him, neither would really want to convince him either. Besides which, Donovan hadn't come out so it was questionable. Not that either wanted to question it anyway, "But we can't have a threesome with 'im." Jay muttered and suddenly joined Simon's thought path, realising that there was a distinct lack. Evidently, Simon didn't mind the implication that he was thinking of gay guys mainly for sexual reasons and also continued his analysis, "Paedo Kennedy." He jocularly exclaimed to his boyfriend,
"Think we might be a little bit too old for him." Simon shrugged, symbolising his pretend disappointment,
"Shame." Jay sarcastically commented with a quick wink to the other boy. And then both returned to thought,
"Maybe there's loads of gays that just ain't come out yet." Jay suggested, shrugging his shoulders. It must be the case because, between them, they could not come up with one other gay guy besides the previous proffers.
One thought seemed to lead to another and within a few minutes, both boys were trying to effectively predict who might be still in the closet. But they were falling short again as neither could come up with a single person that seemed particularly homosexual. After pondering it for a moment, Simon had a beat,
"You think Will could be gay?" He asked and Jay burst into uproarious laughter. He calmed himself and then shook his head. It was a resounding 'no'. Simon raised an eyebrow, obviously looking for an explanation,
"I don't know, he's all prim and proper, just don't seem right. You've spent more time with Will than I have, though, what d'you think?" Simon leant back on Jay's bed, propping himself up on his outstretched arms. Jay was utterly right; there was no way that Will would ever be gay. Not that he seemed perfectly straight either, "Besides, I'd never have a threesome with Briefcase." Jay suddenly protested,
"Awww, he's not that bad." Simon interjected. But then Simon would think that, he was much better friends with Will than Jay was and spent much more time with him. If he didn't like Will then he wouldn't spend as much time with him. Having said that, Simon had never actually contemplated whether he'd actually sleep with Will. In all honesty, Simon had never contemplated sleeping with any man except Jay. Guess he couldn't really be counted on the "Gay Guys in Rudge" list. To be fair neither could Jay, he was bi, "I mean he's a bit of a posh twat sometimes but he's all right." Jay shrugged. Whatever. Nothing that Simon said could convince him that Will was shaggable regardless of whether Will was actually gay or not. He was far too fucking annoying. Well, Jay thought so anyway, "Well, you spend a lot of time with Neil, what about him?" Simon pointedly enquired and Jay subsequently shook his head,
"Neil's not gay."
"You said that with some certainty?" There had been an acute amount of definiteness in his boyfriend's tone; maybe he'd asked Neil at some point? Simon knew that Jay and Neil had always been exceptionally close friends, it wouldn't surprise him. Despite the longevity of his own friendship with Jay, which had been 13 years now, Simon had always felt Neil and Jay had been closer if only slightly. But Simon wasn't the jealous type. Even so, he wanted to know how Jay could definitely claim Neil wasn't gay,
"Well, I asked him, didn't I?" Jay stated and Simon greeted him with a questionable expression. Having spent much more one on one time with Jay over the past few months, Simon had developed almost a sixth sense for when Jay was bullshitting. This was one of those times,
"C'mon..." Simon coaxed him as he leant forward, quite interested. Jay knew Simon's special skill and realised the pointlessness of lying to him,
"We kissed once." He stated and Simon opened his mouth with a follow up question but Jay quickly interposed before any enquiry could be made, "Before you ask, we were like 14 and he'd read it in some magazine..."
"Presumably his dad's." Simon joked and both of them paused for a second, looking at each other with a slight glint of amazement in their eyes, "Bloody fuck."
"I know, how'd we forget Neil's dad?"
"He's definitely gay, no question about it!" Simon exclaimed and Jay nodded. But as both boy's recalled the reason they were thinking of gay guys, a strange look of disgust appeared on each face,
"Think I'd prefer a threesome with Will." Jay commented and now Simon was nodding with approval. It was quiet for a moment, whilst the disturbing mental image dissipated from their minds. Jay sighed and laid down on his bed next to Simon who swiftly joined him. Both were in individual thought for a few more minutes before either spoke again. Jay spoke first, "Don't really want a threesome anyway." Simon, in a state of almost shock, turned on the bed to face. For some reason, Simon had got the impression Jay would flip at the idea of a threesome or any kind of kinkier sex than they currently had,
"Oh yeah, why's that?" He couldn't help but question the sudden personality change that Jay was going through. Jay joined Simon and turned to face him, with a smile that Simon couldn't help but find quite cute,
"Well, don't really need a third guy, had enough trouble gettin' you, didn't I?" Jay commented, and now Simon was displaying a smile that rivalled his boyfriend's. Simon's fingers suddenly entwined with Jay's own as the two continued a silent but smile-filled embrace, "You're perfect... well, almost." Jay remarked, the cute smile immediately transferring back to a cheeky grin,
"Almost?" Simon instantly questioned,
"We've got to do something about your spikes." He remarked and quickly ruffled Simon's hair with his free hand and Simon rolled his eyes. Jay's hand withdrew and both sighed, quite relaxed and content. For the second time in the past five minutes, Jay broke an otherwise complacent silence but somehow managed to make it even more perfect. He looked straight in Simon's eye, continued to hold his hand and took a deep breath, "I love you, Si." Had the deep breath Jay took been due to nerves, he needn't had worried. Without a moment's hesitation, Simon was reciprocating,
"I love you too." Jay's smile returned as it always seemed to no matter what and Simon couldn't help but lean forward and quickly peck his boyfriend on the lips. But Jay being Jay, held Simon closer and the peck quickly turned into a deep kiss. Not that either party minded; they were cheerful and contented and pleased. Unconditionally happy.