A/N oh god its been to long
I am really sorry for my lack of update, you would seriously not believe how busy I have been since schools started up again. And plus I recently got the game Skyrim, which is awesome, and I've been heavily addicted to it and would you believe it even caused me to stop writing for a while! But I finally finished this chapter after so long :P
Enjoy my dear readers! Thanks for reviewing!
Kate x wolfe
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters in the book!
An Impractical Assumption
The time was now.
I looked down at the computer screen with a determined gaze, biting at my lip as I glanced over my shoulder. I don't know why I felt the need to be so secretive, I mean it wasn't like I was researching some sort of forbidden conspiracy or looking up porn. But I felt strangely nervous, almost as if Embry or Quil would be standing behind me and catch me looking up the oh so shunned word.
I was determined to get to the bottom of this forbidden and avoided word, this one word that had caused Embry to look as if he were prepared to murder Quil right in front of me. I honestly had no idea as to why the word was so greatly shunned, why everyone seemed to jolt in shock or anger at the mere word being mentioned. Twice the word had slipped, and both times Embry had grown fiercely angry. Was it some sort of outlawed word among the Quileute's? Like using the N word around black people? All I knew was that it was something secretive, something I was determined to discover in its meaning.
So making sure that my mother was indeed sound asleep in her cosy double bed, snoring softly and kicking at her sheets subconsciously, I turned to the bright computer screen. For some inane reason I had felt the need to do this research as soon as night fell upon us, a few hours after we had finished up at Grans place. With Embry and Jacobs help we had managed to pack up most of Grandma's things into measly cardboard boxes. I had also managed to grab some of my things from my bedroom at Grans house, grabbing a hold of my most prized possessions. Those being my camera, laptop, mp3 player and my reading glasses that I had been without for a week.
With a small sigh I pushed my glasses up from the ridge of my nose, smiling slightly at the normalcy of such an act. I had missed these little things, the things that had connected me to who I truly was. Foolish I suppose, for they were only insignificant items, but nonetheless they brought me some form of ease. It was almost strange how we realise the things we missed only until we have them in our reach once more. I had been overjoyed earlier when I had sat out the front of Grans house, taking photos of the rustic scenery around her small cosy house. Embry had sat out with me as well, commenting on my photographs, even asking me questions with what sort of techniques I used. He seemed so fascinated and interested in my photographs that I couldn't help but gloat slightly under his insistent praise.
The sound of my mother's snores faltered slightly for a moment, causing me to stiffen as I glanced over my shoulder in fear that she had awoken from the bright luminosity of the laptop screen. Yet I relaxed once her snores continued as she rolled onto her stomach, mumbling something about big potatoes. I turned back to the computer, blinking at the incessant glow of the screen. Lightly touching my fingers to the keyboard I typed the sinister word into Google, fearful for what will come up. I leaned back as soon as I pressed enter, as if I expected some sort of frightening demon to launch out of my computer and attack me.
But what came up was nothing but a list of links to websites, all of which gave no hint to the meaning of the word Quil had spoken. Wikipedia said the word to be something in the printing industry. While IMDb came up with some TV series about some American man falling in love with a prostitute. I stared at the computer in confusion, rubbing at my head in thought.
Embry had been so infuriated by something like this? I honestly didn't get it.
Yet I still clung to some hope that I would find a valid answer, so I scrolled down to the bottom of the page clicking on one of the searches related to imprint. I chose to click on imprint meaning, crossing my fingers like a small child as I clutched onto the hope that I could discover the truth that had been so heavily avoided.
Yet I had no such luck.
I groaned lowly, flinching when I heard my mother rustle noisily behind me in reply to my groan. What in heaven's name did the word mean!? I knew it meant something, something they didn't want me to find out about. But what could it possibly mean? I fell back into my wheelchair at the small round table of our hotel room, wrapping my arms around my stomach as I thought over my options. It definitely had to do something with the Quileute, or maybe it was just a word they used in the form of another word as to not have any outsiders know what they were talking about.
But it's not exactly like I would be able to find something obviously very secretive on the internet. Yet I wanted something, a clue of some sorts as to what the word meant. So I leaned back towards my computer, typing in Quileute. What came up was a website, devoted specifically to La Push and its people. I clicked on the link, biting at my lips nervously while I scanned the bright glowing screen.
What came up was an ordinary site, with a slideshow of the La Push scenery and a Welcome to La Push message. I assessed the site with keen eyes, looking up at the top where a few things where listed. With a small but beaming smile I clicked on the button that read 'culture'.
I admit, I was almost excited by my small investigation, feeling like some sort of crippled Nancy Drew with dorky red glasses.
I clicked on Language, biting harder at my gnawed lips in excitement as I scrolled down the page with wide curious eyes. Albeit somewhat desperately, I searched up the word Imprint into the search box. But of course no such word came up. Stumped once again, I decided to do some random investigating, browsing the site. On the History side of the page I scrolled down the page, scanning the lines dismissively, having already lost all hope in ever discovering the origins of the shunned word. Yet as I scrolled further down I caught site of a word, and this one word caused me to falter slightly, an unconscious pause but a pause nonetheless.
A flash of piercing brown eyes instantly came to my mind, glossy grey fur, a large wolf that had guided me home almost as if it were a polite gentleman. I scanned across the sentence, a strange taut feeling building in my chest as I read the words.
According to their ancient creation story, the Quileute's were changed from wolves by a wandering Transformer.
Wolves? As in like the very same sort of creature that had randomly appeared after I had run away from the beach the first day I'd arrived in La Push? The very same animal that just so happened to have acted as if it were trying to comfort me? That had acted strangely knowledgeable? A breath of air left my lungs, and I rubbed at my head slightly as a throbbing ache suddenly pounded in my head.
Just take a breath Riley, you seriously cannot go rushing to conclusions like that!? You're sounding ridiculous!
I breathed in deeply, rubbing at my incompetent legs as I tried to calm the spiralling chaos that was my thoughts. But I couldn't help it, that one sentence seemed to just link so much together in that moment that I was incapable of having any control of my overthinking mind.
That day I had run from Gran I had scurried into the woods to search for Embry only to come across a jet black wolf. Yet then soon after I had run away from the frightening creature Sam had appeared, and the jet black wolf was nowhere to be seen. And the day I had first arrived in La Push, before I had seen the wolf I had noticed that Embry had disappeared from Quil and that little girl's side. He had vanished, and soon after I had realised he was gone I had come face to face with an enormous wolf.
And then suddenly another link appeared in my mind, a long stressed cord that instantly lined up with a frightening memory. Red eyes, eyes that had been the crimson of blood. A stone cold body that pressed up against mine as they leaned into my neck, fangs extended from their two upper teeth.
I gasped, my hands coming up to my lips as a terrified shiver rolled down my spine. I remember, the bloody red eyes, the fangs. I remember giving in to the monster, thinking him to be nothing but an ordinary lustful man. He had been lustful alright, but not for my body.
I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to think, all I knew was that I was utterly and completely terrified. The darkness suddenly became thick, the rustles of the wind suddenly became monsters in the dark. Everything was suddenly a terrible vortex of horror and fear, and all I could do was cringe and clutch onto the sides of my wheelchair. I looked around the room, almost as if I expected those same red eyes to be watching me from the corner of the room.
That day I barely remember anything, all I can really remember is hearing a growl, and then suddenly the damnable creature was gone. Then…. Embry was there.
Embry…. Was he?
I couldn't even finish my thoughts, for a blinding terrible pain shot into my skull, as if something had pierced into my brain. I flinched, touching at my temple as the pain worsened. I was thinking too hard, too many thoughts were racing through my head, legends and beliefs that I had never considered to be real were now being ruminated. I had always been a logical girl, although I had to admit I had always wanted to think there was something magical existing in this world, something that wasn't based on the solution that was science.
But to think that I was in the middle of such a magic?
"Riley? What are you doing?" My mother's voice was laced with sleep, and although I recognised her soothing tone I couldn't help but jolt with fear. My heart practically leaped out of my chest, and I let out a loud horrified cry, sounding much like a croaking bird. Mother instantly turned on her bedside lamp, illuminating the once thick dark motel room. The shock was evident in her eyes when she took me in, shivering at my computer with my hands covering my mouth in complete and utter fear.
"Riley!" Mother shouts at me in instant fear, leaping up from her bed in a hurry as she races towards me. I instantly cower deeper into my seat, the fear clenching around my taut chest as I fought for air. I must be hyperventilating, for I find myself experiencing irrational sentiments that cause me to sob like a puny incompetent child. Everything suddenly comes crushing on top of me in a mass pile of destruction, burying me in tormenting agony in its terrible truths.
The horrible truth was a truth I regretted knowing.
Mom grabbed onto my hands that were covering my mouth as I sobbed, her wide green eyes concerned for my sanity. "Riley what happened!?" Mom exclaims, searching my body for any sign that I was wounded, lingering on my legs specifically. It was then that mom seems to notice the bright glowing laptop on the table, and I instantly react when she begins to glance towards it. I shoot out my hand, shutting the laptop closed before she can see the sceptical website.
Mom jolts in surprise at my sudden movement, glancing down at me in confusion and heavy concern. "What are you hiding?" Mom questions me softly, yet I can hear in her tone that she is slightly angered by my obvious secrecy. I can only shake my head silently, hiccupping slightly as more tears stream down my cheek and cling onto my chin.
I couldn't tell her, for how was I to know if what I had discovered was truly the reality of all that has occurred. Perhaps I was just so desperate for answers that I was looking into the possibility of the impossible? But I knew for sure, that even if I was thinking the insane, I was completely and irretrievably horrified.
I hear mom sigh slightly, and I look up from the ground to watch her as she runs her hand through her long hair. "Are you okay?" Mom whispers to me in a soothing tone, although I can still see the confusion in her eyes as she ponders my obvious secrecy. Yet again I am incapable of replying to her with words, so I can only nod my head as I pitifully wipe at my fallen tears, sniffling slightly.
Now that my mother was by my side I could finally calm my irrational fears of the previous darkness, and my head was now cleared from the fog that was my fear. I lightly cling to my mother's clothing, feeling like a small incompetent child as I shiver slightly from the effects of my previous thoughts. Never before have I ever truly relied on my mother's comfort before, because to be quite honest I had never known I was allowed to receive it. I had thought all children were meant to be independent, that they were supposed cry alone as they awoke from a terrible nightmare, or that they were supposed to bandage their own wound when they fell over.
Yet by a merciful twist of fate, I suddenly had my mom's comfort and love, and I'll be damned if I waste such a privilege. Mom lightly strokes my back, silently comforting me as I shiver in my adjourning fear.
What was I to do now? With these unexplainable thoughts racing through my mind, thoughts of the impossible truly being real, and right under my very nose! How was I supposed to react? Was I supposed to just ignore this possibility?
For now I didn't know what I was supposed to do, all I truly knew was that I had to dig deeper. For one thing I could never truly be certain of this possibility of… werewolves. For to be honest I didn't have the sufficient evidence to justify such a justification.
I couldn't deny that, how could I when I saw one with my very eyes, leaning in to suck my blood from my neck? It was horrifying, as much as I didn't want to admit to the possibility of such a terrifying creature truly existing I couldn't ignore the facts.
"Will you tell me what's wrong?" Mom questions me suddenly, pulling back from stroking my back to stare down at me. I flinch slightly in my chair, feeling a small tautness in my chest. I couldn't tell her, mom was more sceptical about such things as myth than I was.
"Everything just caught up with me I guess." I lie, although I suppose it wasn't a complete lie. Everything had caught up with me, the truth of that day in the woods, and all the links that lined up with the two wolves I had seen in La Push. But I suppose mom didn't know that I was referring to those things, rather than our more mundane issues.
Mom frowns down at me, and I almost feel bad for lying to her as she leans down to hug me silently. "I'll always be here for your sweetie." Mom tells me gently as she embraces me in her thin arms, making sure to not touch my immobile legs. I nod my head with tears welling in my eyes, silently cursing myself for being such a terrible human being.
Mom stays there for a while, holding me softly in her arms, petting me on my back with a tenderness I was still unfamiliar with. To think that only a few weeks ago my mother despised me, blaming me for her lovers' abandonment and for everything that was wrong in her life. I admit, I still held some form of contempt for the lifetime of loveless cruelty she had given me. But she was my mother, so how much hatred could I truly bear for my own blood?
And besides, it wasn't like she ever understood why I was an unusual and mute child.
Mom pulls back from me slowly, smiling softly down at me as she glances towards the glowing alarm clock at the bedside table. "Come now, get into bed, you have your appointment with Dr Cullen tomorrow." Mom tells me gently as she guides me back to my bed, pushing my chair. I groan lowly, remembering just then that I did indeed have a check-up at the hospital early morning tomorrow.
Great, just great.
With everything that has transpired I desperately wanted to do some more digging. And dig where I wasn't entirely certain, but I thought I could at least start by going to the library and find books on vampires and werewolves. Maybe I could even find out more about the Quileute legends of how they originated from wolves. But now I was being held back by my stupid incompetent legs.
"How did you even get out of bed?" Mom asks me suddenly as she pulls back my bed sheets, awakening me from my thoughts. I blink for a moment, before my mind finally registered her question. I guess the tiredness was finally catching up with me. "Its just easier to move I guess." I shrug slightly, although inside I admit I had been rather proud of myself for getting out of bed on my own.
Mom beams almost instantly at my response, practically glowing.
"That's fantastic!" Mom exclaims, shouting far too loudly for this time of night. I find myself smiling softly in reply to my mother's obvious pride at my progress. For a rather mundane routine you would be surprised by how joyful I was after having accomplished it. After all it had been so long since I had last stood up on my own two feet.
Mom silently helped me back into bed, a beaming smile still on her lips as she tucks me in as if I were a small child. I felt a small gush of warmth well up inside my chest when she leaned down to kiss me on my temple, an affectionate gesture that I was inexperienced in. Once I was comfortable I took off my glasses, lightly placing them on my bedside table.
"Get some sleep, and tomorrow I want you to tell me more about what that little scene was just now." Mom tells me, gesturing with her hand toward where I had previously been sitting. I instantly stiffen, having hoped she had already forgotten my small break down. A foolish hope I suppose, for when do things ever play out my way?
Mom leaves me then, burying herself beneath her blankets until eventually she fell asleep once more, snoring loudly. Yet I stayed awake, my eyes wide open, plastered on every dark corner in the room that could possibly hold a monster. I never thought I would return to this sort of fear again, the fear of monster hiding under my bed, of creatures existing in the night. But I was here again, and the sad thing now was that I couldn't blame it on childish imagination.
No, this time it was plain and simple evidence.
I now had the evidence backing up the monsters in the night, for I myself had almost been caught and mauled by such a creature. Its eyes of crimson had held such coldness, and now I wished I had never remembered such eyes.
The next morning I awoke with heavy black ugly bags under my eyes as well as a heavy case of bed hair.
I stared into the mirror of our bathroom, glaring at my pale reflection, comparing myself to death it's very self. Honestly how could someone possibly be this hideous? I tried to comb down my hair best I could, brushing at the short red locks that despite their thinness were ridiculously tangled. But of course it was no use, for I was a lost cause.
I released a small sigh, brushing back my hair in frustration, watching the short ends frizz up. But I admit, I couldn't help but have a tender smile on my lips, as I stood on my own two feet in front of the mirror. It felt like it had been so long since I'd last stood on my own two feet rather than being held up by someone else or sitting in my wheelchair.
To think it had only been two weeks since I'd last stood up on my own feet, in my mind it felt more like years. But it was still a struggle, the numbness in my legs gave off the constant feeling that at any moment my legs could give out under me. I leant against the banister, my legs slightly quivering as they held me up after so long.
Slowly I pulled away from the banister, a strange shoot of pain going up and down my leg as I carefully pull off my pyjama shirt. Thankfully I had asked my mother earlier to help take off my pyjama bottoms and slip on my skirt for me. Yeah, I highly doubt I was that far in recovery yet.
Once I had removed my shirt without falling flat on my face, I found myself pausing slightly, once again catching my hideously pale reflection in the mirror. My eyes instantly went to that of my scar, the long stretched ugliness that only reminded me of that horrific day.
Almost instantly a flash crossed my mind, of two men surrounding me as I lie on that filthy mattress, naked and bare before them.
"Tucker I think she's dying." A man with raven hair spoke up breaking the silence in the room.
I lay there, breathing heavily as I dug my hands into the small hole I had punctured into the flimsy mattress. Blood stuck to my legs, blood stuck to my stomach, so much blood… The smell of it was foul, the bitter taste of it was in the air as well as the stench of other filthy things that existed in this unkempt room.
"She's still breathing, that's all that matters." Tucker replied to the raven man, pulling back on his dark grey shirt as if it was the most natural thing in the world. I stared up at him vacantly, breathing out haggard breaths, my throat dry. Tucker catches my gaze, and as soon as he does I instantly cower, tightening my hold onto the tear in the mattress.
"Maybe she's had enough, don't you think her mother will eventually go to the police?" The raven man persists. I twitch slightly, coming to life at the mention of my mother.
Tucker chuckles, as if the thought seemed amusing to him. "No she won't, she thinks I've taken her on a fishing trip. Stupid tramp." Tucker mutters out, sitting down into the couch across from my mattress, the place of my defilement.
I tightly shut my eyes, whimpering in my thoughts for I was forbidden to make a sound. Mommy didn't even know that William was a monster. Let alone that William wasn't William.
Tucker releases a low sigh and I flinch when he glances over to me, quivering on the mattress and clutching onto the tear for dear life. He assesses me, almost as if I am an object. With the hand that wasn't clutching onto the mattress, I slowly cover my face with my left hand. It was foolish I know, for they had already seen everything.
"Fine, we'll clean her up then take her back to her mother." Tucker spits out with annoyance, rising to his feet and standing tall as he walks over to me. I tug at the tear, tears welling in my eyes as I instinctively press my legs together in fear. Yet I am completely powerless to this man, for he easily picks me up from my mattress, ripping me away from the tear in mattress. I make no sound, yet inside I am screaming.
But at some point aren't we all?
Tucker carries my naked body into another room, and before I know it my body is being placed under running water. I flinch, clawing at the tile walls as the hot water thrashes against my skin. The blood and filth on my body goes down the drain, and in that moment I truly wish that it was that easy to wash away my terrible defilement.
"Riley! Phone!" My mother awakens me from my flashback, knocking on the bathroom door.
I flinch, clutching onto the banister as I felt my legs quiver from the fear of the recollection. I turn towards the door, breathing through my nose as I shook away the terrible memory. "Just a sec!" I shout back, pulling on the rest of my clothing. I slipped on my bra and my dark blue singlet as well as a simple cardigan. Once I was decent I shouted out for my mom to enter the bathroom.
Mom opens the bathroom door, a strange glint in her eyes that instantly has me fearing the worst.
"It's lover boy." Mom practically giggles out like an idiotic school girl, holding the phone to her chest as she swings her hips side to side. I freeze, instantly connecting her words to Embry. The memory of last night's discovery comes to mind, and I hate myself for suddenly becoming so terrified of Embry and the possibility of what he was. I wasn't as terrified of the possibility of Embry being a werewolf as I was of vampires being real. But nonetheless the possibility of someone I knew being some mythological creature was a horror all on its own.
"What does he want?" I whisper, nervously wrapping my arms around my waist. "Too talk to you?" Mom says in the form of a question, raising her eyebrow at me. Mom holds out the phone, gesturing at me to take it from her hands. I hesitantly reach out, grabbing it from her outstretched hand as if I were reaching out to a deadly snake. I take it from her hand and nervously press it to my ear, clearing my throat.
"Riley." Embry breathes out my name, a rush of relief leaving his lips that instantly causes a shiver to run down my spine. Never before would I have thought a man's voice could sound almost… gentle. "Um, yeah… Hi." I mumble nervously, glancing up at my mom who was covering her mouth, giggling as if she were on cloud nine. I frown over at her, shooing her away with a silent gesture of my hand. She giggles, and practically skips out of the room.
"What are you doing today?" Embry asks me suddenly, his tone suddenly sounding nervous which puts me on edge. "Um…" I murmur, leaning against the bathroom banister once again when I felt my legs falter slightly for a split second. "I have an appointment at the hospital with Dr Cullen." I reply, hating myself for the small clench of my chest that I recognised as fear. It wasn't necessarily even Embry that I was afraid of, in fact I think it was just the fact that he made all of these terrible possibilities all that more real.
"I'll take you." He says, leaving no room for discussion.
"Um, what?" I stutter, my hand slipping slightly on the banister, my eyes wide in surprise. Had he really just said that? "What time is your appointment?" Embry asks next, not in the least bit swayed by the small bomb shell he'd just dropped on little innocent old me. "Uh 11:30, but don't worry my mom-" I start to say only to be cut off by the strangely eager boy.
"I'll be there to pick you up at eleven, stay indoors until then." And god be damned, the confusing boy hanged up on me, leaving me no time to reply. I stand there, the phone hanging limply in my hand with my mouth open agape.
Mom comes in then, grinning ear from ear.
"What did he say?" Mom giggles, skipping over to the still frozen me with all cheers and smiles. I stand there, terrified and highly confused. "He's taking me to my appointment." I whisper, far too shocked to speak any louder than a mere whisper. I admit I was probably over reacting, I mean recently Embry and I had gotten pretty close and my fear towards men wasn't nearly as bad as it had once been. But for him to merely decide straight out like that had never really happened before.
And….And….And….. He wasn't good for my health.
He was making me feel things I had never felt before, making me experience sentiments that should be considered illegal in all countries. To feel such emotions was sinister, and I was certain that this constant strain on my heart would end up terminal towards my health.
"Oh yay!" Mom exclaims loudly, clapping her hands like a small child. "He's finally making the moves." Mom waves her fingers at the last part, a frightening smirk crossing her lips. My eyes widen, and I suddenly feel the need to crawl into a ball. "What!?" I shout, staring at my mother in utter horror.
Mom laughs at me, as if she finds my torment amusing.
"Oh you are so pure." Mom chuckles, turning away from me with a smirk on her face. I stiffen, a sudden darkness overcoming my thoughts at her words as a flash registers in my mind.
I stand there, silent as Tucker slowly dresses me into a floral casual dress.
"Now Riley, remember if you ever tell your mother about what really happened, your mommy will be very disappointed in you." Tucker looks up at me, now bending down to help slip on my shoes as I stare vacantly ahead, completely incompetent. "Your mommy won't like knowing that you aren't an innocent girl anymore."
I flinch, slowly tracing at the scar at my stomach through the cloth of my shirt, feeling my insides silently churn. "Yeah, I guess you're right." I mumble lowly, forcing a small chuckle to my lips. And I'm glad that in that moment my mom was far too excited to notice my odd behaviour. I release a low sigh, leaning against the banister when my legs started to ache once more.
It was almost strange, the reality of my issues that I had always dealt with ever since I was a little girl, and now there was the more eccentric issues. Vampires, possibly even werewolves. To think in my terrible world, another kind of terrible could slip in as well.
Truly I was fated for some kind of terrible existence.
A/N Le fin my lovelies!
I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and once again I am so sorry for my terrible updates .
Review and tell me what you think, and don't worry they're will be lots more Embry in the next chapter!